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Post by darktippedrose on Oct 12, 2018 1:29:54 GMT -5
Hugz! Glad you found a good therapist. That is good, schemas sounds interesting. I most definitely married my mother in my husband. I'm gonna look into it. How is it all going now?
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Post by darktippedrose on Oct 12, 2018 1:03:45 GMT -5
I'm in the USA. AK does mean Alaska.
When I first decided to stay for the sake of the kids, it wasn't as bad as it is now. Not even a little bit. I naively thought it couldn't any worse. Oh how wrong I was. I admit I was incredibly naive in that. I haven't been on lately as my children have been going through some really tough times lately.
as for being autonomous, I have become quite a bit more independent than when i got married. I didn't realize how much my husband had cut me off from people and how dependent on me him he had made me. My grandma is completely shocked at how much more independent I am now.
So while I'm not where I should be, I have made progress.
Right now, i"ve had issues with some of mykids and its thrown me for a loop,.
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Post by darktippedrose on Oct 12, 2018 0:36:17 GMT -5
thanx all, this post was from a while ago. no birthday sex ever. He has never acknowledged my birthday. He hates celebrating his own and imho, isn't very nice when others try to do something nice for his birthday. Handy, in Lord of the Rings, the hobbits actually give presents away on their birthday. So basically, the hobbits get a gift on almost everyday of the year because of how many there are. And teh gifts, are just giving gifts other people have given them, lolz.
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Post by darktippedrose on Jul 22, 2018 0:45:37 GMT -5
I would love to make out too, but I'm afraid its been so long that I don't remember what to do .
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Post by darktippedrose on Jun 2, 2018 2:09:21 GMT -5
Sorry about your pain. I feel this way alot. It hasn't gotten better. I can cook. I can clean. I can take care of 3 autistic children mostly by myself. I can crochet. I can sew. I can organise. I have all these skill sets. But I can NOT for the life of me, get a real hug or a kiss. Hell if I can't sleep at night and I knock on my hsuband's bedroom door, he'll get pissed off at me. And he'll scowl at me.
So yes, it hurts that most people say that women have ALL the sexual power in the world. Everyone but me apparently. I feel defective.
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Post by darktippedrose on Jun 2, 2018 1:59:22 GMT -5
I don't know if my husband thinks he loves me. He hasn't said I love you in years. And I can't bring myself to say it to him either. I quit calling him my habibi years ago (it means like sweetheart in Arabic).
My husband thinks the way he treats me is normal. that a man can love his wife and cheat on her all the time. And that its normal. he thinks its abnormal for a man to still do things with his wife, to touch her like they just met, etc.
So maybe in his own mind, he still loves me. But I don't see it as that at all.
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Post by darktippedrose on Jun 2, 2018 1:49:17 GMT -5
9 physical touch 8 quality time 8 words of affirmation 5 acts of service 0 receiving gifts
some of these questions, I really wanted to pick both lol.
I like to receive gifts, who doesn't, but I'm also a cuddlebunny too. And while I do appreciate someone who helps out with the billz and the house. It would help out, But being touched and held and nice words are more important.
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Post by darktippedrose on Apr 20, 2018 11:54:07 GMT -5
Why is your wife, soon to be ex so upset? That seems weird to me.
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Post by darktippedrose on Apr 14, 2018 16:05:23 GMT -5
I stay for the kids. Its hard to keep them all safe and to take care of them all by myself. If I stand up to him, he makes fun of me for having a "back bone" or just walks away. He gets easily frustrated if I don't have the same opinion.
And if in doubt, my husband is always at the ready to talk about me being mentally ill. He thinks I have mental problems as I'm hyper sensitive and also, I've been in the mental ward multiple times.
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Post by darktippedrose on Apr 11, 2018 15:27:53 GMT -5
I have a bank account. I cut off our joint account YEARS ago because .....bad things happened. Its incredibly difficult to talk to a therapist and be low-income. Incredibly hard. with limited transportation is incredibly hard and keeping it from my husband.
but anyways
its pretty hard to do that.
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Post by darktippedrose on Apr 11, 2018 15:19:06 GMT -5
I have a good feeling her reaction would of been the same if it had been random porn. This is just her opportunity and she pounced on it.
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Post by darktippedrose on Apr 10, 2018 16:54:20 GMT -5
Are children really a good reason to be sexless? or for having children with special needs or mental illness a really good reason.
I guess I should be used to it by now, but I notice that as soon as someone knows my children are autistic, it's somehow ok that my husband touches everyone but me.
And then theres the statistics that say most husbands/fathers leave and that you should be grateful if they stay.
do others have this same issue?
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Post by darktippedrose on Apr 9, 2018 11:00:01 GMT -5
I would like to know more about this constant sex in the first few years of marriage. I wish to have more of that. I could make out like a teenager, and not find it boring. My husband couldn't. He's not so much into kissing and I honestly haven't been kissed since I was 27? maybe? I'm 34 now. So ummm, no.
and I think its more realistic for your sexuality to evolve and change over your marriage.
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Post by darktippedrose on Apr 3, 2018 17:02:13 GMT -5
That is not a new leaf. In my opinion, your freedom or confidence, may be triggering him to escalate to new heights.
trust me, this is not the new leaf that you look forward to.
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Post by darktippedrose on Mar 30, 2018 12:06:44 GMT -5
For me, it feels like this never ending cycle of: False hope, being let down, disgusted with myself, keeping myself in the game so I won't get disappointed, then getting a tiny bit of hope over one non-confrontational conversation of just 5 minutes which leads right back to false hope.
No matter how many times I tell my heart to quit being an idiot, I still think, Oh maybe I was wrong, and he is changing, and nope.
so i prefer to remain cynical I guess, because I know his routine now.
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