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Post by MarianCali on Jul 3, 2018 13:54:03 GMT -5
It has been so hard lately. H and I don't spend any time together as I'm usually with the kids and he's in his man cave. We don't watch tv/movies together, no date night and only sleep together 1/2 of the time. We don't hug, no snuggling, no touching at all in bed and absolutely no making out. The last time I was with someone we made out like we were in high school. It felt so great. We did everything but sex. I still can't get it out of my head. It was so nice to feel wanted even if it was just sexual. It also feel awesome that a younger, hotter man wants me.
Lately I've been over analyzing everything in our relationship and told him the other day I wish we could have a do over and I needed a hug. We briefly hugged but it didn't make me feel better. I think we let it go bad for so long it will be impossible to go back. We haven't had sex in 4 or 5 years. I don't even remember when it was it was so long ago. We used to be awesome together and then it slowly started decreasing to nada. There is still love between us, I feel it but when I think of the positive/negatives of staying/leaving its just to hard. I guess it isn't that bad yet.
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Post by ihadalove on Jul 3, 2018 15:11:07 GMT -5
Yes, making out is great! I miss it too, w isn't into it.
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Post by jim44444 on Jul 3, 2018 15:51:51 GMT -5
Some days I miss making out and that bothers me. Most days I do not miss making out and that bothers me more.
The last time I kissed and hugged a woman I was thinking of her as a platonic friend. That was my mental concept, the rest of my body was screaming "game on" and the blood was rushing South. Scared the hell out of me.
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Post by baza on Jul 3, 2018 18:38:19 GMT -5
Looking at all your posts in context Sister MarianCali , the lack of 'making out' seems to be a relatively secondary issue in the wider scheme of your ILIASM deal.
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Post by choosinghappy on Jul 4, 2018 6:23:43 GMT -5
MarianCali After no sex with your H for the last 4-5 years do you even want to make out with HIM anymore? Yes, I missed making out (and everything sexual) too, but there came a point for me that our marriage turned so platonic that the thought of doing anything sexual or even romantic with my H just felt so wrong. Once I knew that that part of our marriage was firmly over, but that I still wanted to intimate with another man, it made my decision to end this marriage much easier.
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Post by saarinista on Jul 4, 2018 20:54:16 GMT -5
Some days I miss making out and that bothers me. Most days I do not miss making out and that bothers me more. The last time I kissed and hugged a woman I was thinking of her as a platonic friend. That was my mental concept, the rest of my body was screaming "game on" and the blood was rushing South. Scared the hell out of me. Hey, jim44444 , I say, be glad your blood is still rushing, especially South! Be glad that you know you can respond to someone, should you choose to do so going forward. I was glad to know that I could still "feel" when I met my online love object. I really didn't think I could anymore. Now I know that I can-with someone that I'm attracted to. The question for me still is, what do I do with that knowledge? That's the question for all of us, I guess.
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Post by saarinista on Jul 4, 2018 20:58:01 GMT -5
It has been so hard lately. H and I don't spend any time together as I'm usually with the kids and he's in his man cave. We don't watch tv/movies together, no date night and only sleep together 1/2 of the time. We don't hug, no snuggling, no touching at all in bed and absolutely no making out. The last time I was with someone we made out like we were in high school. It felt so great. We did everything but sex. I still can't get it out of my head. It was so nice to feel wanted even if it was just sexual. It also feel awesome that a younger, hotter man wants me. Lately I've been over analyzing everything in our relationship and told him the other day I wish we could have a do over and I needed a hug. We briefly hugged but it didn't make me feel better. I think we let it go bad for so long it will be impossible to go back. We haven't had sex in 4 or 5 years. I don't even remember when it was it was so long ago. We used to be awesome together and then it slowly started decreasing to nada. There is still love between us, I feel it but when I think of the positive/negatives of staying/leaving its just to hard. I guess it isn't that bad yet. MarianCali Any idea how bad things will have to get for you to feel like you need to do something to rectify your SM?
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spartan92
New Member
Still sexless in Missouri, but I guess there is always hope!
Posts: 5
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Post by spartan92 on Jul 5, 2018 9:34:51 GMT -5
Last night I went to the local 4th of July celebrations (alone as usual). Often she doesn't even have any interest in going out. In my case it has been going on 8 years now and I'm starting to feel downright alone! So I know kind of how you feel.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
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Post by Deleted on Jul 5, 2018 9:48:38 GMT -5
Last night I went to the local 4th of July celebrations (alone as usual). Often she doesn't even have any interest in going out. In my case it has been going on 8 years now and I'm starting to feel downright alone! So I know kind of how you feel. Memories! Last year July 4 I went by myself to see fireworks and I pathetically emailed the EAP who dumped me a month before to see if she was still with her new guy. She replied that she was "smitten" with him. It was a low point. Luckily everything has been going much better since then....
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Post by steve08 on Jul 5, 2018 10:31:22 GMT -5
Hey would you like to chat?
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Post by northstarmom on Jul 5, 2018 10:42:34 GMT -5
Steve, If you're hoping to sex chat with people, while that does happen, women here are typically not looking for sex chat, dick pics, affair partners, etc. Randomly messaging women offering things like that is likely to lead to your being blocked, banned and shunned. This is mainly an advice and support site, not a site to troll for sex partners. People here who do develop some kind of sex relationship aren't likely to do it with a complete stranger who hasn't posted their story or participated in the site in public ways that include offering advice, support, and information to others. If what you want is sex chat, there are other sites designed for that.
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Post by MarianCali on Jul 5, 2018 14:05:22 GMT -5
MarianCali After no sex with your H for the last 4-5 years do you even want to make out with HIM anymore? Yes, I missed making out (and everything sexual) too, but there came a point for me that our marriage turned so platonic that the thought of doing anything sexual or even romantic with my H just felt so wrong. Once I knew that that part of our marriage was firmly over, but that I still wanted to intimate with another man, it made my decision to end this marriage much easier. No, I don't want my H sexually at all. I'm not physically attracted to him at all anymore. I just want to make out with someone who I do as well as other things. It's sad really but as I said so far the bad doesn't out way the good. Yes, we don't have any physical relationship but there is still love. I guess I'm not at the point yet to give it up. I'm still working on myself and outsourcing (sporadically).
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Deleted
Deleted Member
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Post by Deleted on Jul 5, 2018 14:07:59 GMT -5
@mariancari
You don't make out with your affair partners? Or you just want it more often?
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Post by MarianCali on Jul 5, 2018 14:13:23 GMT -5
It has been so hard lately. H and I don't spend any time together as I'm usually with the kids and he's in his man cave. We don't watch tv/movies together, no date night and only sleep together 1/2 of the time. We don't hug, no snuggling, no touching at all in bed and absolutely no making out. The last time I was with someone we made out like we were in high school. It felt so great. We did everything but sex. I still can't get it out of my head. It was so nice to feel wanted even if it was just sexual. It also feel awesome that a younger, hotter man wants me. Lately I've been over analyzing everything in our relationship and told him the other day I wish we could have a do over and I needed a hug. We briefly hugged but it didn't make me feel better. I think we let it go bad for so long it will be impossible to go back. We haven't had sex in 4 or 5 years. I don't even remember when it was it was so long ago. We used to be awesome together and then it slowly started decreasing to nada. There is still love between us, I feel it but when I think of the positive/negatives of staying/leaving its just to hard. I guess it isn't that bad yet. MarianCali Any idea how bad things will have to get for you to feel like you need to do something to rectify your SM? It's definitely been difficult lately. I've been working on myself more lately. I'm not ready to call it quits as of yet. I'm not quite there and I'm not sure I'll ever be.
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Post by ironhamster on Jul 5, 2018 21:45:04 GMT -5
MarianCali Any idea how bad things will have to get for you to feel like you need to do something to rectify your SM? It's definitely been difficult lately. I've been working on myself more lately. I'm not ready to call it quits as of yet. I'm not quite there and I'm not sure I'll ever be. Take your time and work on being the best you that you can be. You know what your life is like. I know some people, both men and women, that choose the stability of staying. That is a valid choice, and in time, if your thoughts change, you can always change that.
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