You've reached the "ILIASM Forum".

This is an active support community for men and women dealing with the causes and effects of living in a sexless marriage. Sexless marriages may be entirely devoid of intimacy, but the term is used clinically to include couples who engage in sex fewer than 10 times per year. The causes are many, but the effects are generally detrimental, and in some cases devastating.

What is "ILIASM"? It stands for "I Live In A Sexless Marriage".

If that applies to you, then you probably need this site.

Where can you turn for support and understanding with your sexless marriage? Counseling (both individual and marital therapy) can have some benefit, but is not a cure-all. (This is actually often discussed on the forum.) Your family and friends may not be able to understand the depth of your suffering, or you may be reluctant to share intimate details... especially if you feel no one will believe you or show due sympathy. There are books and advice websites galore which propose other ways to fix your situation.

We offer not a fix but support: first of all, the support in knowing that a normal healthy sex life is a reasonable expectation in a marriage. Second, we offer the wisdom of how to deal with the burdens you may be carrying, as we've been there, too. We'll share stories, resources, and lend an ear, a hand, or a shoulder. Third, we offer you insights and options. But only you can decide what is best for you.

This is a moderated forum: the community has posted Guidelines outlining what is allowed on the site and expectations of a supportive decorum. Volunteer moderators encourage all to provide earnest and well-meaning support. However, there is no "party line" here. There are many voices, many opinions, and many options. It is up to you to share enough of your experiences so that you can receive the input you need.

Feel free to start browsing the message boards in the forum to consider if you'd like to participate. (Non-members can read the posts, but not interact.) Membership is free, but you must be 18 years or older to register. Registered members may participate in discussions by asking questions, posting supportive answers, or commenting on other posts.

To browse now, continue to the main Forum page.


This the "Shoutbox" -- basically a site-wide, group chat. (It's only visible to members.)
saarinista: is anyone else watching March Madness? Mar 24, 2019 11:44:48 GMT -5
worksforme2: doesn't much look like it... Mar 27, 2019 12:20:10 GMT -5
saarinista: Well, my team is going to the Final Four! I am beyond thrilled. Basketball is life. Apr 1, 2019 0:47:14 GMT -5
misssunnybunny: Congrats! Yay! I don't know how many people see the shout box, I don't think it shows up not he mobile version of the site. Maybe post something in the Off Topic section and more folks may see it? Apr 1, 2019 15:38:34 GMT -5
wewbwb: Or, maybe baseball season started . . . Apr 2, 2019 5:27:34 GMT -5
flashjohn: , my alma mater, Texas Tech, is also in the final four. Apr 3, 2019 14:59:01 GMT -5
saarinista: : Ruh, roh. Then we have to be mortal enemies for the weekend because I went to MSU! Apr 4, 2019 16:09:20 GMT -5
worksforme2: The add attachment says a max of 1mb...I see plenty of videos that are way longer than that...how do I do that? My video is 4.97 mbs Apr 25, 2019 20:10:25 GMT -5
h: The videos posted aren't attached. They are links to videos outside the site. Apr 26, 2019 14:09:04 GMT -5
sexlessinga: Hi guys just joined May 10, 2019 20:49:28 GMT -5
worksforme2: @mslowmaintenance….long time no see, welcome back... May 29, 2019 9:30:25 GMT -5
noregretz: You can never outrun a Grizzly bear, but that's ok. You only have to outrun the person you're with.... Jun 15, 2019 12:28:09 GMT -5
solodriver: or in this case your refuser. Jun 16, 2019 19:21:47 GMT -5
worksforme2: Jun 26, 2019 6:31:29 GMT -5 *
mrslowmaintenance: Hey everyone! SO happy to see there are still some names I recognize around here :) Jul 8, 2019 16:59:36 GMT -5
solodriver: Hi mrslowmaintenance, good to see you again :) Jul 12, 2019 23:59:30 GMT -5
misssunnybunny: Happy Birthday ! Hope you have a great day! Jul 26, 2019 10:44:44 GMT -5
worksforme2: feliz cumpleanos basa ball chica... Jul 26, 2019 11:38:58 GMT -5
fredackerman: boy, did i underestimate the "change".............at wit's end with this sexual desert Jul 26, 2019 19:24:32 GMT -5
worksforme2: My doctor has upped my weekly dosage of testosterone...please forgive me for being a bit more horney in my replies in the short term..... Aug 16, 2019 7:48:41 GMT -5