You've reached the "ILIASM Forum".

This is an active support community for men and women dealing with the causes and effects of living in a sexless marriage. Sexless marriages may be entirely devoid of intimacy, but the term is used clinically to include couples who engage in sex fewer than 10 times per year. The causes are many, but the effects are generally detrimental, and in some cases devastating.

What is "ILIASM"? It stands for "I Live In A Sexless Marriage".

If that applies to you, then you probably need this site.

Where can you turn for support and understanding with your sexless marriage? Counseling (both individual and marital therapy) can have some benefit, but is not a cure-all. (This is actually often discussed on the forum.) Your family and friends may not be able to understand the depth of your suffering, or you may be reluctant to share intimate details... especially if you feel no one will believe you or show due sympathy. There are books and advice websites galore which propose other ways to fix your situation.

We offer not a fix but support: first of all, the support in knowing that a normal healthy sex life is a reasonable expectation in a marriage. Second, we offer the wisdom of how to deal with the burdens you may be carrying, as we've been there, too. We'll share stories, resources, and lend an ear, a hand, or a shoulder. Third, we offer you insights and options. But only you can decide what is best for you.

This is a moderated forum: the community has posted Guidelines outlining what is allowed on the site and expectations of a supportive decorum. Volunteer moderators encourage all to provide earnest and well-meaning support. However, there is no "party line" here. There are many voices, many opinions, and many options. It is up to you to share enough of your experiences so that you can receive the input you need.

Feel free to start browsing the message boards in the forum to consider if you'd like to participate. (Non-members can read the posts, but not interact.) Membership is free, but you must be 18 years or older to register. Registered members may participate in discussions by asking questions, posting supportive answers, or commenting on other posts.

To browse now, continue to the main Forum page.


This the "Shoutbox" -- basically a site-wide, group chat. (It's only visible to members.)
misssunnybunny: Be safe wfm2! Sept 16, 2018 8:45:25 GMT -5
warmways: Yes-please be safe! Sept 23, 2018 16:33:27 GMT -5
worksforme2: whooa,...is that a like I see from smartkat ? ......I have been wondering about you...... Sept 23, 2018 21:18:07 GMT -5
misssunnybunny: Happy Birthday !! Oct 11, 2018 19:49:24 GMT -5
solodriver: Happy Birthday shamwow!! :) Oct 11, 2018 20:35:02 GMT -5
shynjdude: Andie seems to have deleted her account here. Hope she's OK. Oct 12, 2018 9:41:52 GMT -5
misssunnybunny: Oh, no! I hope she is okay... Oct 12, 2018 15:31:30 GMT -5
solodriver: Maybe over what happened last weekend with the discussion board men vs. women Oct 12, 2018 20:42:13 GMT -5
jetcity: Had to have my cat put down today. He was very old and he let us know it was time this morning. My wife went to visit her mother today So now It’s just me, the cats and dog and a couple cold beers. Now that’s a party right? :( Oct 12, 2018 21:57:32 GMT -5
solodriver: So sorry jetcity, I've done that many times over the years, never gets any easier. Oct 12, 2018 22:45:20 GMT -5
jetcity: I managed to create an avatar! The beard and mustache are kind of funky though. Oct 12, 2018 23:30:07 GMT -5
solodriver: cool Oct 13, 2018 0:49:44 GMT -5
misssunnybunny: jetcity, sorry for the loss of your cat. I've been through it and it such a difficult process. Oct 13, 2018 8:09:17 GMT -5
worksforme2: sorry your animal passed jetcity...I know the feeling, I have a pet cemetery out back with 7 markers.. Oct 13, 2018 11:47:07 GMT -5
dontstart: I’m new here, so hello. Oct 13, 2018 15:15:20 GMT -5
jetcity: Hi Oct 14, 2018 2:52:42 GMT -5
misssunnybunny: Welcome, dontstart! Feel free to post in the introduction thread; not many people see/use the shout box. Read and explore here, and hope you find us a helpful community. :) Oct 14, 2018 10:41:21 GMT -5 *
caballotierra: Hey all, I setup a new account since my W figured out my login and was using my posts against me. Since we're going through divorce, I thought it would be safer to remove my old name. :( Although I feel attached to it. Oct 15, 2018 16:12:30 GMT -5
misssunnybunny: Oh, wow. Sorry that happened to you! :| Oct 15, 2018 16:36:32 GMT -5
caballotierra: Does anyone know how to delete my old account? Right now, it's still searchable, which is a problem. Oct 16, 2018 12:12:19 GMT -5