You've reached the "ILIASM Forum".

This is an active support community for men and women dealing with the causes and effects of living in a sexless marriage. Sexless marriages may be entirely devoid of intimacy, but the term is used clinically to include couples who engage in sex fewer than 10 times per year. The causes are many, but the effects are generally detrimental, and in some cases devastating.

What is "ILIASM"? It stands for "I Live In A Sexless Marriage".

If that applies to you, then you probably need this site.

Where can you turn for support and understanding with your sexless marriage? Counseling (both individual and marital therapy) can have some benefit, but is not a cure-all. (This is actually often discussed on the forum.) Your family and friends may not be able to understand the depth of your suffering, or you may be reluctant to share intimate details... especially if you feel no one will believe you or show due sympathy. There are books and advice websites galore which propose other ways to fix your situation.

We offer not a fix but support: first of all, the support in knowing that a normal healthy sex life is a reasonable expectation in a marriage. Second, we offer the wisdom of how to deal with the burdens you may be carrying, as we've been there, too. We'll share stories, resources, and lend an ear, a hand, or a shoulder. Third, we offer you insights and options. But only you can decide what is best for you.

This is a moderated forum: the community has posted Guidelines outlining what is allowed on the site and expectations of a supportive decorum. Volunteer moderators encourage all to provide earnest and well-meaning support. However, there is no "party line" here. There are many voices, many opinions, and many options. It is up to you to share enough of your experiences so that you can receive the input you need.

Feel free to start browsing the message boards in the forum to consider if you'd like to participate. (Non-members can read the posts, but not interact.) Membership is free, but you must be 18 years or older to register. Registered members may participate in discussions by asking questions, posting supportive answers, or commenting on other posts.

To browse now, continue to the main Forum page.


This the "Shoutbox" -- basically a site-wide, group chat. (It's only visible to members.)
tamara68: Thanks , , and :) I expect stbx (mr Lemming is a fitting name) will look very mad ad me and try to get some mercy from the judge. But eviction is inevitable. Only thing that is not sure is When exactly Jan 15, 2017 16:03:25 GMT -5
tamara68: ... stbx and my daughter must leave the house. My lawyer will ask for a little more time if necessary, till after courtcase in February. when decisions about custody and finances will be made. Jan 15, 2017 16:05:38 GMT -5
eternaloptimism: You been yet ? X Jan 16, 2017 7:43:53 GMT -5
tamara68: ; yes http://iliasm.org/thread/2185/step Jan 16, 2017 11:37:23 GMT -5
tamara68: tomorrow driving lesson again. I think I need 5 repetitions of the first lesson before I am ready for something new. Jan 16, 2017 15:08:35 GMT -5
nancyb: Don't be too hard on yourself tamara68. You've had a lot on your mind lately. :) You will get it. Just takes practice. Jan 16, 2017 15:50:51 GMT -5
inmydreams: Sending out positive vibes to the members ILIASM. May they reach each and every one of you. Jan 16, 2017 22:22:17 GMT -5
wewbwb: Rip - Capt. Gene Cernan - the last man to walk on the moon - one of three to do it twice. Jan 17, 2017 10:45:57 GMT -5
eternaloptimism: Im Jan 17, 2017 11:48:53 GMT -5
eternaloptimism: Still not sure I buy that they actually DID walk on the moon ;) Jan 17, 2017 11:49:23 GMT -5 *
obobfla: EO, I did not personally see Gene Cernan on the moon, but I am sure I saw him leave Earth with my own two eyes. Be careful, otherwise Buzz Aldrin might punch you! Jan 17, 2017 22:58:54 GMT -5
eternaloptimism: He he he. Love Buzz. But remember , leaving earth ain't the same as walking on the moon! ;) Jan 18, 2017 1:15:42 GMT -5
tamara68: Happy birthday ! :-* Jan 18, 2017 5:59:01 GMT -5
wewbwb: Happy birthday ! Jan 18, 2017 6:15:48 GMT -5
nancyb: Happy day petrushka. :) Jan 18, 2017 8:14:50 GMT -5
petrushka: Hey, thank you! I got taken out for Thai, and I got two flowers --- one for my birthday and one for the wedding anniversary (yes, same day!). A good time was had by all. ;) Jan 18, 2017 8:38:20 GMT -5
petrushka: <3 Jan 18, 2017 8:40:16 GMT -5
eternaloptimism: Happy Birthday xxxxx Jan 18, 2017 10:50:25 GMT -5
misssunnybunny: Happy Birthday petrushka! :) Jan 18, 2017 15:34:37 GMT -5
solodriver: Happy Birthday Petrushka :) Jan 18, 2017 15:34:46 GMT -5