You've reached the "ILIASM Forum".

This is an active support community for men and women dealing with the causes and effects of living in a sexless marriage. Sexless marriages may be entirely devoid of intimacy, but the term is used clinically to include couples who engage in sex fewer than 10 times per year. The causes are many, but the effects are generally detrimental, and in some cases devastating.

What is "ILIASM"? It stands for "I Live In A Sexless Marriage".

If that applies to you, then you probably need this site.

Where can you turn for support and understanding with your sexless marriage? Counseling (both individual and marital therapy) can have some benefit, but is not a cure-all. (This is actually often discussed on the forum.) Your family and friends may not be able to understand the depth of your suffering, or you may be reluctant to share intimate details... especially if you feel no one will believe you or show due sympathy. There are books and advice websites galore which propose other ways to fix your situation.

We offer not a fix but support: first of all, the support in knowing that a normal healthy sex life is a reasonable expectation in a marriage. Second, we offer the wisdom of how to deal with the burdens you may be carrying, as we've been there, too. We'll share stories, resources, and lend an ear, a hand, or a shoulder. Third, we offer you insights and options. But only you can decide what is best for you.

This is a moderated forum: the community has posted Guidelines outlining what is allowed on the site and expectations of a supportive decorum. Volunteer moderators encourage all to provide earnest and well-meaning support. However, there is no "party line" here. There are many voices, many opinions, and many options. It is up to you to share enough of your experiences so that you can receive the input you need.

Feel free to start browsing the message boards in the forum to consider if you'd like to participate. (Non-members can read the posts, but not interact.) Membership is free, but you must be 18 years or older to register. Registered members may participate in discussions by asking questions, posting supportive answers, or commenting on other posts.

To browse now, continue to the main Forum page.


This the "Shoutbox" -- basically a site-wide, group chat. (It's only visible to members.)
nancyb: Little girls become big girls and some of us are still talking, and talking... Mar 18, 2017 17:56:26 GMT -5
cagedtiger: Big thunderstorm here. I need somebody to cuddle and get naked in the dark with. Mar 18, 2017 18:22:31 GMT -5
solodriver: Thunderstorms are great lovemaking times Mar 18, 2017 22:25:03 GMT -5
eternaloptimism: Not sure there'd be too much cuddling CT. Mar 19, 2017 3:38:28 GMT -5
eternaloptimism: Thanks SD. My go to character when forced to play video games! Sindel. Silver fox baddass fighter ;) x Mar 19, 2017 3:39:59 GMT -5
tamara68: your avatar suits you! a silver force to be reckoned with :) Mar 19, 2017 7:03:56 GMT -5
eternaloptimism: He he. Thanks T. I'm trying ;) x Mar 19, 2017 10:29:28 GMT -5
solodriver: EO my problem I'm a lover not a fighter! :) Mar 19, 2017 16:54:20 GMT -5
eternaloptimism: Yes you are SD ;) xxx Mar 20, 2017 0:20:45 GMT -5
tamara68: Happy birthday ! Mar 20, 2017 6:09:57 GMT -5
LITW: Happy spring to all Mar 20, 2017 10:48:02 GMT -5
misssunnybunny: Happy Spring! Looking forward to warmer weather and no snow! :) Mar 20, 2017 15:14:25 GMT -5
petrushka: Ha, it's getting colder here as autumn moves in. Suddenly I want to wear a shirt in the mornings .... Mar 20, 2017 17:25:36 GMT -5
petrushka: Not been seen for almost a year - but: Happy Birthday -- hope you're well. Mar 20, 2017 17:40:15 GMT -5 *
worksforme2: My apologies to everyone as I am replying to just about everything I read. I am looking at buying another Harley today and I can't sleep. I woke up at 4:30 this morning Mar 22, 2017 5:29:50 GMT -5
eternaloptimism: Well.. did ya get it? Mar 22, 2017 16:56:37 GMT -5
eternaloptimism: FFS. You guys hear about the shit that went down in London today? Guess who's there. Dr 5 hr FaceTime. I'm gonna slap his legs when I see him. Mar 22, 2017 17:00:32 GMT -5 *
misssunnybunny: Oh, EO, hope he is okay! Mar 22, 2017 17:23:13 GMT -5
eternaloptimism: Thanks SB :) He's always ok. He bloody thrives on this stuff! Mar 22, 2017 17:32:27 GMT -5
worksforme2: Thanks for asking EO......the answer is(cue the Austin Powers music) "yeah baby"....and I missed all the London action, I was lost in SC a good portion of today, but the new scooter is sitting in my driveway. Mar 22, 2017 18:59:09 GMT -5