Welcome

You've reached the "ILIASM Forum".

This is an active support community for men and women dealing with the causes and effects of living in a sexless marriage. Sexless marriages may be entirely devoid of intimacy, but the term is used clinically to include couples who engage in sex fewer than 10 times per year. The causes are many, but the effects are generally detrimental, and in some cases devastating.


What is "ILIASM"? It stands for "I Live In A Sexless Marriage".


If that applies to you, then you probably need this site.


Where can you turn for support and understanding with your sexless marriage? Counseling (both individual and marital therapy) can have some benefit, but is not a cure-all. (This is actually often discussed on the forum.) Your family and friends may not be able to understand the depth of your suffering, or you may be reluctant to share intimate details... especially if you feel no one will believe you or show due sympathy. There are books and advice websites galore which propose other ways to fix your situation.


We offer not a fix but support: first of all, the support in knowing that a normal healthy sex life is a reasonable expectation in a marriage. Second, we offer the wisdom of how to deal with the burdens you may be carrying, as we've been there, too. We'll share stories, resources, and lend an ear, a hand, or a shoulder. Third, we offer you insights and options. But only you can decide what is best for you.


This is a moderated forum: the community has posted Guidelines outlining what is allowed on the site and expectations of a supportive decorum. Volunteer moderators encourage all to provide earnest and well-meaning support. However, there is no "party line" here. There are many voices, many opinions, and many options. It is up to you to share enough of your experiences so that you can receive the input you need.


Feel free to start browsing the message boards in the forum to consider if you'd like to participate. (Non-members can read the posts, but not interact.) Membership is free, but you must be 18 years or older to register. Registered members may participate in discussions by asking questions, posting supportive answers, or commenting on other posts.


To browse now, continue to the main Forum page.




Shoutbox

This the "Shoutbox" -- basically a site-wide, group chat. (It's only visible to members.)
h: @andie left us ☹️ No more Grammar Queen. Oct 22, 2018 12:15:27 GMT -5
misssunnybunny: Happy Birthday ! Oct 22, 2018 16:24:42 GMT -5
misssunnybunny: I'm also very sad to see that andie is gone Oct 22, 2018 16:25:07 GMT -5 *
jim44444: not only did andie delete her existence here she also deleted her tumblr account. Maybe her hubby found her online postings. Oct 22, 2018 19:52:59 GMT -5
misssunnybunny: Oh, no! Hope she is okay... :( Oct 22, 2018 20:00:25 GMT -5
solodriver: I'm sad andie is gone too. She reached out to me when I first joined the group at a time when I was really sick, and talked to me everyday until I was well again and shared a lot of her stories with me. Oct 22, 2018 20:58:28 GMT -5
solodriver: HAPPY BIRTHDAY dear ggold!!!! :) Oct 22, 2018 20:58:53 GMT -5
shynjdude: I can say that at least one of andie's social media accounts is still active. But I'm not in contact with her. Oct 23, 2018 5:12:55 GMT -5
misssunnybunny: Happy Birthday ! Oct 30, 2018 15:57:16 GMT -5
solodriver: Thank you misssunnybunny :D Oct 30, 2018 20:49:59 GMT -5
TheGreatContender -aka Daddeeo: What happened with grammar queen? Oct 31, 2018 17:08:38 GMT -5
isthisit: Apologies for being a techno numpty- can anyone help me to send a PM? When I choose the member as a recipient the error message indicating a staff member is required. Eh? Nov 6, 2018 15:03:40 GMT -5
solodriver: isthisit you cannot send PMs until your membership changes to member Nov 6, 2018 21:41:58 GMT -5
isthisit: Thanks solodriver and shynjdude for your replies. Is there some info somewhere about these divisions? I have had a mooch around and haven't come across it yet. Nov 8, 2018 10:22:28 GMT -5
solodriver: I think it is/was under the Welcome tab, but not sure where. Nov 8, 2018 21:52:19 GMT -5
misssunnybunny: Here is the thread with levels: iliasm.org/thread/112/membership-levels. I can't remember if there was ever a minimum post count to send a PM. Nov 9, 2018 11:24:42 GMT -5
olaf: Hi! I am new to this forum and I am now writing my introduction with my story! Big shoutout to everyone. I am really happy to have found this forum. Nov 9, 2018 16:02:54 GMT -5
olaf: can I ask, is it OK to drop a longer story here on this thread for introductions, or is there another place for that? Nov 9, 2018 17:31:45 GMT -5
solodriver: olaf it would be good for you to post under Sexless Marriage Issues for a wider audience and response. Nov 9, 2018 22:01:50 GMT -5
rich: I just found this site and just now registered. What do they say, "misery loves company"? Nov 15, 2018 4:04:15 GMT -5