You've reached the "ILIASM Forum".

This is an active support community for men and women dealing with the causes and effects of living in a sexless marriage. Sexless marriages may be entirely devoid of intimacy, but the term is used clinically to include couples who engage in sex fewer than 10 times per year. The causes are many, but the effects are generally detrimental, and in some cases devastating.

What is "ILIASM"? It stands for "I Live In A Sexless Marriage".

If that applies to you, then you probably need this site.

Where can you turn for support and understanding with your sexless marriage? Counseling (both individual and marital therapy) can have some benefit, but is not a cure-all. (This is actually often discussed on the forum.) Your family and friends may not be able to understand the depth of your suffering, or you may be reluctant to share intimate details... especially if you feel no one will believe you or show due sympathy. There are books and advice websites galore which propose other ways to fix your situation.

We offer not a fix but support: first of all, the support in knowing that a normal healthy sex life is a reasonable expectation in a marriage. Second, we offer the wisdom of how to deal with the burdens you may be carrying, as we've been there, too. We'll share stories, resources, and lend an ear, a hand, or a shoulder. Third, we offer you insights and options. But only you can decide what is best for you.

This is a moderated forum: the community has posted Guidelines outlining what is allowed on the site and expectations of a supportive decorum. Volunteer moderators encourage all to provide earnest and well-meaning support. However, there is no "party line" here. There are many voices, many opinions, and many options. It is up to you to share enough of your experiences so that you can receive the input you need.

Feel free to start browsing the message boards in the forum to consider if you'd like to participate. (Non-members can read the posts, but not interact.) Membership is free, but you must be 18 years or older to register. Registered members may participate in discussions by asking questions, posting supportive answers, or commenting on other posts.

To browse now, continue to the main Forum page.


This the "Shoutbox" -- basically a site-wide, group chat. (It's only visible to members.)
olaf: can I ask, is it OK to drop a longer story here on this thread for introductions, or is there another place for that? Nov 9, 2018 17:31:45 GMT -5
solodriver: olaf it would be good for you to post under Sexless Marriage Issues for a wider audience and response. Nov 9, 2018 22:01:50 GMT -5
rich: I just found this site and just now registered. What do they say, "misery loves company"? Nov 15, 2018 4:04:15 GMT -5
arr4045: Hello and thanks for having me Nov 17, 2018 22:22:10 GMT -5
h: Happy Thanksgiving to all the US members. Everyone else, have a nice Thursday I guess.😁 Nov 22, 2018 7:31:25 GMT -5
misssunnybunny: Happy Birthday !! Nov 22, 2018 8:36:13 GMT -5
worksforme2: Happy Turkey Da...errr..Happy Birthday baza Nov 22, 2018 9:03:03 GMT -5
solodriver: Happy Thanksgiving for US members and Happy Birthday Baza! :D Nov 22, 2018 12:42:55 GMT -5
tamara68: Why has @shynjdude deleted his account? Sorry to see him leave. Nov 22, 2018 14:42:53 GMT -5
solodriver: tamara68 - shynjdude shared on his last post in "I Screwed Up with The Talk..." thread (even though we don't agree he had to delete his account) Nov 22, 2018 19:24:23 GMT -5
tamara68: , thanks, I have read it now. Nov 23, 2018 5:48:30 GMT -5
saarinista: come back shynjdude! wah. Nov 24, 2018 0:54:18 GMT -5
misssunnybunny: Happy Birthday !! Nov 30, 2018 16:57:15 GMT -5 *
worksforme2: Happy Birthday fellow biker Dec 1, 2018 20:26:19 GMT -5
handy: Cutiecakes, I see you posted on another forum. How about copying that other post and place it here. It hase some very relevant information and I think this forum will be of more help. Dec 3, 2018 17:17:52 GMT -5
worksforme2: Watching the funeral....RIP George Herbert Walker Bush Dec 5, 2018 12:46:01 GMT -5
worksforme2: Man oh man, look at all that snow. Looks like snow cream is going to be on the menu today. Dec 9, 2018 13:23:24 GMT -5
misssunnybunny: Happy Birthday !! Dec 13, 2018 7:14:41 GMT -5
worksforme2: Happy Birthday smartkat...where ever you are Dec 13, 2018 11:30:50 GMT -5
solodriver: Happy Birthday smartkat :) Dec 13, 2018 22:01:28 GMT -5