You've reached the "ILIASM Forum".

This is an active support community for men and women dealing with the causes and effects of living in a sexless marriage. Sexless marriages may be entirely devoid of intimacy, but the term is used clinically to include couples who engage in sex fewer than 10 times per year. The causes are many, but the effects are generally detrimental, and in some cases devastating.

What is "ILIASM"? It stands for "I Live In A Sexless Marriage".

If that applies to you, then you probably need this site.

Where can you turn for support and understanding with your sexless marriage? Counseling (both individual and marital therapy) can have some benefit, but is not a cure-all. (This is actually often discussed on the forum.) Your family and friends may not be able to understand the depth of your suffering, or you may be reluctant to share intimate details... especially if you feel no one will believe you or show due sympathy. There are books and advice websites galore which propose other ways to fix your situation.

We offer not a fix but support: first of all, the support in knowing that a normal healthy sex life is a reasonable expectation in a marriage. Second, we offer the wisdom of how to deal with the burdens you may be carrying, as we've been there, too. We'll share stories, resources, and lend an ear, a hand, or a shoulder. Third, we offer you insights and options. But only you can decide what is best for you.

This is a moderated forum: the community has posted Guidelines outlining what is allowed on the site and expectations of a supportive decorum. Volunteer moderators encourage all to provide earnest and well-meaning support. However, there is no "party line" here. There are many voices, many opinions, and many options. It is up to you to share enough of your experiences so that you can receive the input you need.

Feel free to start browsing the message boards in the forum to consider if you'd like to participate. (Non-members can read the posts, but not interact.) Membership is free, but you must be 18 years or older to register. Registered members may participate in discussions by asking questions, posting supportive answers, or commenting on other posts.

To browse now, continue to the main Forum page.


This the "Shoutbox" -- basically a site-wide, group chat. (It's only visible to members.)
brian: So she spent a cpl hours in a jail cell. Hardened criminal, she is! Sept 4, 2017 6:42:56 GMT -5
solodriver: That's great news wfm2 :) I'm sure you're both happy! He probably had a scary adventure. Sept 4, 2017 10:54:40 GMT -5
LITW: so glad you got your dog back ... we had a similar situation a few weeks ago, and its not fun Sept 6, 2017 9:44:59 GMT -5
greatcoastal: I've got this windy, wet, rain making, idea that I'll be trying out sometime Sunday night. I'll send it to all my friends North of me when I'm done. It'll be a blast! Sept 7, 2017 9:08:54 GMT -5
misssunnybunny: Anyone else having trouble uploading images? I've tried on Safari, Firefox, Chrome. The image thing keeps telling me that jpg is invalid/not supported file format, and I know I've uploaded plenty as jpg images in the past. Sept 8, 2017 16:49:16 GMT -5
petrushka: I'll give it a shot and see ... Sept 9, 2017 2:14:37 GMT -5
petrushka: no rejection experienced, - I can only conclude that maybe your jpg is corrupt, or maybe your connection was a bit wonky Sept 9, 2017 2:26:12 GMT -5
tamara68: I had that problem too @missunnybunny, my jpg surely was not currupt but maybe too big. I have just tried with a small image and that worked. Sept 9, 2017 3:30:19 GMT -5
misssunnybunny: I was able to post pictures yesterday. I'm not sure what the problem was, it just started working again. Ah, technology! :D Sept 9, 2017 7:04:41 GMT -5
obobfla: Staying inside with canned goods, bottled water, and flashlights. Still have power, internet, and cable. Sept 10, 2017 19:05:59 GMT -5
misssunnybunny: : glad to hear all is well so far for you! :) Sept 10, 2017 19:18:37 GMT -5
misssunnybunny: Happy Birthday !!! Sept 14, 2017 16:24:45 GMT -5
obobfla: Thanks MSB! Of course, I don't have birthdays anymore. I stay permanently 25. Yes, I am Pharoah, King of Denial! Sept 14, 2017 20:31:11 GMT -5
nancyb: Its Friday you bunch of reprobates!! Happy dancing. Sept 15, 2017 7:27:42 GMT -5
hopingforachange: happy friday, we get to be around our refusers all weekend Sept 15, 2017 7:34:59 GMT -5
wewbwb: Hoping that all those across the pond are safe and well. Sept 15, 2017 8:18:47 GMT -5
misssunnybunny: So awful, London again... :( Sept 15, 2017 17:02:15 GMT -5
dinnaken: RIP Harry Dean Stanton - a great and wonderful actor Sept 16, 2017 2:00:30 GMT -5
nancyb: I'm having a party on Saturday night and you are all invited. :) Sept 21, 2017 19:00:23 GMT -5
solodriver: God I wish I could nancyb, I will be there in thought! :) Sept 21, 2017 20:07:57 GMT -5