You've reached the "ILIASM Forum".

This is an active support community for men and women dealing with the causes and effects of living in a sexless marriage. Sexless marriages may be entirely devoid of intimacy, but the term is used clinically to include couples who engage in sex fewer than 10 times per year. The causes are many, but the effects are generally detrimental, and in some cases devastating.

What is "ILIASM"? It stands for "I Live In A Sexless Marriage".

If that applies to you, then you probably need this site.

Where can you turn for support and understanding with your sexless marriage? Counseling (both individual and marital therapy) can have some benefit, but is not a cure-all. (This is actually often discussed on the forum.) Your family and friends may not be able to understand the depth of your suffering, or you may be reluctant to share intimate details... especially if you feel no one will believe you or show due sympathy. There are books and advice websites galore which propose other ways to fix your situation.

We offer not a fix but support: first of all, the support in knowing that a normal healthy sex life is a reasonable expectation in a marriage. Second, we offer the wisdom of how to deal with the burdens you may be carrying, as we've been there, too. We'll share stories, resources, and lend an ear, a hand, or a shoulder. Third, we offer you insights and options. But only you can decide what is best for you.

This is a moderated forum: the community has posted Guidelines outlining what is allowed on the site and expectations of a supportive decorum. Volunteer moderators encourage all to provide earnest and well-meaning support. However, there is no "party line" here. There are many voices, many opinions, and many options. It is up to you to share enough of your experiences so that you can receive the input you need.

Feel free to start browsing the message boards in the forum to consider if you'd like to participate. (Non-members can read the posts, but not interact.) Membership is free, but you must be 18 years or older to register. Registered members may participate in discussions by asking questions, posting supportive answers, or commenting on other posts.

To browse now, continue to the main Forum page.


This the "Shoutbox" -- basically a site-wide, group chat. (It's only visible to members.)
deborahmanning: Heh, I am not even sure whether I count as "dropped off" or never sufficiently active to have registered on the radar in the first place. Oct 30, 2017 22:09:28 GMT -5
greatcoastal: deborahmanning, you are still on my follow list! I remember you probably live the closest to me. Oct 31, 2017 15:29:05 GMT -5
deborahmanning: Maybe I'll finally get round to posting my exit story! Financial disbursements still in process but decree is in hand. Oct 31, 2017 19:36:04 GMT -5
greatcoastal: Post your story!! Oct 31, 2017 21:12:37 GMT -5
wewbwb: "Violent incident in New York" because we cannot say "terrorism" Wow. Nov 1, 2017 8:34:28 GMT -5
peiguy: Hello everone! :) Nov 2, 2017 11:58:42 GMT -5
peiguy: everyone [lost ability to type] Nov 2, 2017 11:59:00 GMT -5
nancyb: Happy weekend you sordid bunch. :) Nov 4, 2017 7:31:03 GMT -5
solodriver: Happy weekend to you too NancyB :) Nov 4, 2017 17:47:51 GMT -5
petrushka: Er - weekend? What weekend? {confused look} Nov 6, 2017 16:00:44 GMT -5
nancyb: Time marches on petrushka. Its now almost mid week. Nov 7, 2017 17:44:18 GMT -5
h: And now it is mid week! Nov 8, 2017 6:25:38 GMT -5
tamara68: Weekend! :) Nov 10, 2017 17:49:31 GMT -5
jenm: I LOVE when I come on line after being off for 24 hours and there are SO MANY new posts. You all rock!! Nov 12, 2017 0:22:56 GMT -5
h: you're one of us now so you rock too Nov 12, 2017 21:29:04 GMT -5
eternaloptimism: It’s a pretty fucking rockin place innit ✌️Xx Nov 13, 2017 11:37:52 GMT -5
solodriver: Not fucking lol Nov 13, 2017 23:28:25 GMT -5
miles2go: Happy weekend all! Nov 18, 2017 8:46:48 GMT -5
wewbwb: Rip Malcolm Young. Nov 18, 2017 18:21:57 GMT -5
solodriver: and sadly soon it will be David Cassidy too. wow how much more opposite can you get, AC/DC and the Partridge Family Nov 18, 2017 21:14:31 GMT -5