You've reached the "ILIASM Forum".

This is an active support community for men and women dealing with the causes and effects of living in a sexless marriage. Sexless marriages may be entirely devoid of intimacy, but the term is used clinically to include couples who engage in sex fewer than 10 times per year. The causes are many, but the effects are generally detrimental, and in some cases devastating.

What is "ILIASM"? It stands for "I Live In A Sexless Marriage".

If that applies to you, then you probably need this site.

Where can you turn for support and understanding with your sexless marriage? Counseling (both individual and marital therapy) can have some benefit, but is not a cure-all. (This is actually often discussed on the forum.) Your family and friends may not be able to understand the depth of your suffering, or you may be reluctant to share intimate details... especially if you feel no one will believe you or show due sympathy. There are books and advice websites galore which propose other ways to fix your situation.

We offer not a fix but support: first of all, the support in knowing that a normal healthy sex life is a reasonable expectation in a marriage. Second, we offer the wisdom of how to deal with the burdens you may be carrying, as we've been there, too. We'll share stories, resources, and lend an ear, a hand, or a shoulder. Third, we offer you insights and options. But only you can decide what is best for you.

This is a moderated forum: the community has posted Guidelines outlining what is allowed on the site and expectations of a supportive decorum. Volunteer moderators encourage all to provide earnest and well-meaning support. However, there is no "party line" here. There are many voices, many opinions, and many options. It is up to you to share enough of your experiences so that you can receive the input you need.

Feel free to start browsing the message boards in the forum to consider if you'd like to participate. (Non-members can read the posts, but not interact.) Membership is free, but you must be 18 years or older to register. Registered members may participate in discussions by asking questions, posting supportive answers, or commenting on other posts.

To browse now, continue to the main Forum page.


This the "Shoutbox" -- basically a site-wide, group chat. (It's only visible to members.)
tamara68: That's great ! They could have nice men there ;) Apr 25, 2017 15:20:49 GMT -5
wewbwb: I'm trying to unload my dishwaher. No one seems to want her. Apr 25, 2017 17:30:46 GMT -5
notlovingit: I am SOOO excited for you!!!! I miss my theater days. Apr 25, 2017 18:36:19 GMT -5
cagedtiger: That sounds awesome! I definitely need to hear more about this! Congratulations! Apr 25, 2017 19:09:42 GMT -5
cagedtiger: Ah, best weekend away ever. Well, almost. If I'd gotten laid, it would've been the best weekend away ever. Apr 25, 2017 19:18:53 GMT -5
worksforme2: tamara68...unforgivable that your stbx is determined to bankrupt the both of you. the only positive I see is that once the money is gone perhaps he will be more willing to move on as well... Apr 25, 2017 19:44:56 GMT -5
lonely: sorry to hear that tamara68, beware of creative lawyers. and when I say creative, I mean with their invoices :-( Apr 26, 2017 1:28:23 GMT -5
lonely: And EO, lets hope the rocky horror show is on the cards :-) good for you Apr 26, 2017 1:29:19 GMT -5
hopingforachange: eternaloptimism , darn i was hoping for you to post pics in your burlesque costume Apr 26, 2017 7:03:07 GMT -5
eternaloptimism: I'll look faaaahbuloooos in whatever outfit I end up in he he.... I hope! I will share if and when I get one. They haven't heard me sing yet so they might well change their minds ha ha ;) Apr 26, 2017 10:43:30 GMT -5
hopingforachange: yes you will and you will look like a runway model compared to the shorties. Apr 26, 2017 11:51:01 GMT -5
worksforme2: Shamwow.....the new pic shows you with a different motorcycle...got more than one? Apr 26, 2017 16:49:11 GMT -5
notlovingit: :) Apr 26, 2017 19:34:38 GMT -5
eternaloptimism: Ok. I fucked up. The theatre company left me a message to call them. B4 I did I checked out some of the shows they do. Shit. It's far too opera-ey for my tastes. Oops. I'm gonna have to back out of this and find something more me! Apr 27, 2017 2:12:56 GMT -5
nancyb: I am sure you'll find a venue for your many talents. EO :) Apr 27, 2017 5:31:03 GMT -5
wewbwb: Does anyone know how to post a gif? Apr 27, 2017 9:10:06 GMT -5
doneanddone: anyone else just blah.....today....? Apr 27, 2017 14:39:22 GMT -5
wewbwb: for the last 10 years. I'm starting to think it's not a "phase" I'm going through Apr 27, 2017 14:48:22 GMT -5
novembercomingfire: Beyond blah here. More like bereft and in the ditch. Apr 27, 2017 14:57:58 GMT -5
eternaloptimism: Thanks Nanc. The theatre guy called me yesterday actually. I was really honest with him and we agreed that it would be an idea to go along and watch when all the company are in. It's apparently not 100% operatic. I'll go and see. Not til June. :) Apr 27, 2017 23:22:58 GMT -5