You've reached the "ILIASM Forum".

This is an active support community for men and women dealing with the causes and effects of living in a sexless marriage. Sexless marriages may be entirely devoid of intimacy, but the term is used clinically to include couples who engage in sex fewer than 10 times per year. The causes are many, but the effects are generally detrimental, and in some cases devastating.

What is "ILIASM"? It stands for "I Live In A Sexless Marriage".

If that applies to you, then you probably need this site.

Where can you turn for support and understanding with your sexless marriage? Counseling (both individual and marital therapy) can have some benefit, but is not a cure-all. (This is actually often discussed on the forum.) Your family and friends may not be able to understand the depth of your suffering, or you may be reluctant to share intimate details... especially if you feel no one will believe you or show due sympathy. There are books and advice websites galore which propose other ways to fix your situation.

We offer not a fix but support: first of all, the support in knowing that a normal healthy sex life is a reasonable expectation in a marriage. Second, we offer the wisdom of how to deal with the burdens you may be carrying, as we've been there, too. We'll share stories, resources, and lend an ear, a hand, or a shoulder. Third, we offer you insights and options. But only you can decide what is best for you.

This is a moderated forum: the community has posted Guidelines outlining what is allowed on the site and expectations of a supportive decorum. Volunteer moderators encourage all to provide earnest and well-meaning support. However, there is no "party line" here. There are many voices, many opinions, and many options. It is up to you to share enough of your experiences so that you can receive the input you need.

Feel free to start browsing the message boards in the forum to consider if you'd like to participate. (Non-members can read the posts, but not interact.) Membership is free, but you must be 18 years or older to register. Registered members may participate in discussions by asking questions, posting supportive answers, or commenting on other posts.

To browse now, continue to the main Forum page.


This the "Shoutbox" -- basically a site-wide, group chat. (It's only visible to members.)
becca: Awhh, , I hope you feel better soon. Jul 16, 2017 9:38:07 GMT -5
nancyb: *squeezing into something sexy* I'll take your temperature now petrushka. Will that be oral or anal.?. oops maybe that's a question you should ask me. ;) Get better soon. Jul 16, 2017 10:53:44 GMT -5
hopingforachange: Are you channeling your inner http://iliasm.org/post/70985 Jul 16, 2017 11:21:24 GMT -5 *
nancyb: No...I'm not sporting any hardware just a smile and my nurses cap. Jul 16, 2017 14:40:05 GMT -5
misssunnybunny: , hope you feel better soon! Jul 16, 2017 16:26:41 GMT -5
petrushka: Thank you ! Jul 16, 2017 18:04:04 GMT -5
solodriver: nancyb I'm not feeling too well, I think I need an appointment. :) Jul 16, 2017 20:19:01 GMT -5
boudinMan: so, when is the next skype meeting? Jul 17, 2017 11:33:35 GMT -5
nancyb: :) Better book with my receptionist SD. NancyB's dance card is starting to fill up these days. Jul 18, 2017 8:24:13 GMT -5
hopingforachange: unfortunately since the kids are home and so is the wife (teacher) it is harder for me to host a skype session. Jul 18, 2017 13:39:12 GMT -5
snowman12345: do I need to buy you another new stripper pole? I know how you get! Jul 18, 2017 20:28:54 GMT -5
nancyb: snowman12345: I've damn near worn the chrome off the last one. Bumpin' and grindin' into the night. Jul 18, 2017 20:45:06 GMT -5
solodriver: Nancyb I think that is one appointment I would gladly wait for! :) Jul 18, 2017 21:17:15 GMT -5
scrimshaw: Okay ... how did I miss the Dark Humour thread???? Too funny! Jul 18, 2017 21:26:57 GMT -5
worksforme2: Only 9 posts left and I will pass the Senior member mark. Being 68 I think I already hold one "senior member" title here. Is anyone older than me? So when # 500 goes rolling by will I be the Senior "Senior Member"? Jul 19, 2017 9:54:04 GMT -5
snowman12345: No, you become a full "member". Jul 19, 2017 20:47:55 GMT -5
mrslowmaintenance: I noticed an abundance of likes in my notifications today! Hah! I know, I know, terrible people here... So so guilty Jul 20, 2017 0:16:45 GMT -5
wewbwb: 500 posts? Cute. Jul 20, 2017 18:22:53 GMT -5
scrimshaw: , Glad to be of "terrible" service. ;-) Jul 20, 2017 20:38:32 GMT -5
nancyb: RIP John Heard. Jul 22, 2017 13:25:42 GMT -5