You've reached the "ILIASM Forum".

This is an active support community for men and women dealing with the causes and effects of living in a sexless marriage. Sexless marriages may be entirely devoid of intimacy, but the term is used clinically to include couples who engage in sex fewer than 10 times per year. The causes are many, but the effects are generally detrimental, and in some cases devastating.

What is "ILIASM"? It stands for "I Live In A Sexless Marriage".

If that applies to you, then you probably need this site.

Where can you turn for support and understanding with your sexless marriage? Counseling (both individual and marital therapy) can have some benefit, but is not a cure-all. (This is actually often discussed on the forum.) Your family and friends may not be able to understand the depth of your suffering, or you may be reluctant to share intimate details... especially if you feel no one will believe you or show due sympathy. There are books and advice websites galore which propose other ways to fix your situation.

We offer not a fix but support: first of all, the support in knowing that a normal healthy sex life is a reasonable expectation in a marriage. Second, we offer the wisdom of how to deal with the burdens you may be carrying, as we've been there, too. We'll share stories, resources, and lend an ear, a hand, or a shoulder. Third, we offer you insights and options. But only you can decide what is best for you.

This is a moderated forum: the community has posted Guidelines outlining what is allowed on the site and expectations of a supportive decorum. Volunteer moderators encourage all to provide earnest and well-meaning support. However, there is no "party line" here. There are many voices, many opinions, and many options. It is up to you to share enough of your experiences so that you can receive the input you need.

Feel free to start browsing the message boards in the forum to consider if you'd like to participate. (Non-members can read the posts, but not interact.) Membership is free, but you must be 18 years or older to register. Registered members may participate in discussions by asking questions, posting supportive answers, or commenting on other posts.

To browse now, continue to the main Forum page.


This the "Shoutbox" -- basically a site-wide, group chat. (It's only visible to members.)
petrushka: Happy holidays to you too, Nancy. Of course, having chosen to retire myself from working life 5 years ago, I have a permanent holyday now (yeah, right, LoL) ;) Aug 14, 2017 6:52:26 GMT -5
eternaloptimism: I can't wait to retire. I just need to make some serious cash first! It's no good having the time for stuff you can't afford is it ha ha. Aug 15, 2017 12:17:35 GMT -5
greatcoastal: Some of the best things in life are free. Don't let money get in your way. (You already know this 8-) Aug 15, 2017 13:54:14 GMT -5
daddeeo: "Some of the best things in life are free" Im pretty sure thats what the hippies intended with the free love movement 🤠 Aug 15, 2017 14:44:55 GMT -5
flyingsolo: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! That is all. Aug 15, 2017 20:11:50 GMT -5
scrimshaw: Money doesn't buy happiness, but it makes being miserable a lot more comfortable. Aug 18, 2017 19:57:23 GMT -5
petrushka: could not agree more :) Aug 18, 2017 20:43:26 GMT -5
Venus Erotes: Hi! Man I've been MIA way too long! Missing all of you! XOXO Aug 18, 2017 21:50:07 GMT -5
eternaloptimism: Is constantly scouring the properties for sale. I'm obsessed. 😬 Aug 19, 2017 10:00:11 GMT -5
petrushka: good for you, EO Aug 19, 2017 18:39:46 GMT -5
Venus Erotes: Go GO GO EO!!!! Aug 19, 2017 21:02:33 GMT -5
solodriver: RIP Jerry Lewis :( Aug 20, 2017 15:14:40 GMT -5
eternaloptimism: And rip Bruce Forcythe :( Aug 21, 2017 2:12:48 GMT -5
misssunnybunny: And RIP Dick Gregory www.nytimes.com/2017/08/19/arts/dick-gregory-dies-at-84.html?mcubz=3 Aug 21, 2017 8:32:25 GMT -5
eternaloptimism: I get saddest when we lose a dick :( Aug 21, 2017 11:10:17 GMT -5
shamwow: Got a high power set of binoculars and am staring at the eclipse! Aug 21, 2017 13:28:04 GMT -5
misssunnybunny: So disappointing here; thought it would get a little darker, only looked overcast...but we get a total eclipse of the sun over MA in 2024! Aug 21, 2017 14:28:14 GMT -5 *
worksforme2: Sorry misssunnybunny, the farmers almanac says it's going to be overcast and rainy in MA. Aug 21, 2017 14:38:10 GMT -5
misssunnybunny: I think I'll wait for April 2024 for a weather forecast, too far out to worry about it now :) Aug 21, 2017 16:55:09 GMT -5
daddeeo: were you talking about jerry lewis or dick gregory 😉 Aug 21, 2017 20:45:09 GMT -5