You've reached the "ILIASM Forum".

This is an active support community for men and women dealing with the causes and effects of living in a sexless marriage. Sexless marriages may be entirely devoid of intimacy, but the term is used clinically to include couples who engage in sex fewer than 10 times per year. The causes are many, but the effects are generally detrimental, and in some cases devastating.

What is "ILIASM"? It stands for "I Live In A Sexless Marriage".

If that applies to you, then you probably need this site.

Where can you turn for support and understanding with your sexless marriage? Counseling (both individual and marital therapy) can have some benefit, but is not a cure-all. (This is actually often discussed on the forum.) Your family and friends may not be able to understand the depth of your suffering, or you may be reluctant to share intimate details... especially if you feel no one will believe you or show due sympathy. There are books and advice websites galore which propose other ways to fix your situation.

We offer not a fix but support: first of all, the support in knowing that a normal healthy sex life is a reasonable expectation in a marriage. Second, we offer the wisdom of how to deal with the burdens you may be carrying, as we've been there, too. We'll share stories, resources, and lend an ear, a hand, or a shoulder. Third, we offer you insights and options. But only you can decide what is best for you.

This is a moderated forum: the community has posted Guidelines outlining what is allowed on the site and expectations of a supportive decorum. Volunteer moderators encourage all to provide earnest and well-meaning support. However, there is no "party line" here. There are many voices, many opinions, and many options. It is up to you to share enough of your experiences so that you can receive the input you need.

Feel free to start browsing the message boards in the forum to consider if you'd like to participate. (Non-members can read the posts, but not interact.) Membership is free, but you must be 18 years or older to register. Registered members may participate in discussions by asking questions, posting supportive answers, or commenting on other posts.

To browse now, continue to the main Forum page.


This the "Shoutbox" -- basically a site-wide, group chat. (It's only visible to members.)
worksforme2: RIP YA Tittle,.....when I was a kid we all wanted to be you..... Oct 10, 2017 7:05:53 GMT -5
petrushka: happy birthday, Oct 10, 2017 15:48:29 GMT -5
nancyb: shamwow...many happy returns. Oct 11, 2017 7:05:20 GMT -5
worksforme2: time for breakfast....I'm thinking a mushroom and sweet bell pepper omelet w. half an English muffin along side.... Oct 12, 2017 7:28:00 GMT -5
johnwyo1: Good afternoon all. Oct 12, 2017 15:50:09 GMT -5
brian: I suppose it's afternoon somewhere at any given time... and time for breakfast somewhere else... unless you are one of my teenagers, where breakfast happens when they wake up in the afternoon :) Oct 13, 2017 6:42:49 GMT -5
hopingforachange: Morning all Oct 13, 2017 7:54:22 GMT -5
misssunnybunny: Happy Friday the 13th! So glad for the weekend... Oct 13, 2017 16:26:29 GMT -5
petrushka: Oh, that one went right by me; Friday the 13th. Just to buck the trend, nothing went wrong, nothing bad happened and I had a pretty good day :) Oct 13, 2017 19:42:49 GMT -5
scrimshaw: How in the world can a FRIDAY be bad luck? Now, Monday the 13th, that seems like something to fear. :-) Oct 13, 2017 20:54:23 GMT -5
brian: Fuck that! I like Mondays... finally, a day without the kids nagging and the roomie around! Oct 14, 2017 5:05:27 GMT -5
misssunnybunny: Happy Birthday ! Oct 14, 2017 9:50:11 GMT -5
tamara68: Happy birthday ! Oct 14, 2017 13:00:55 GMT -5
eternaloptimism: Happy birthday for yesterday GC XXXX Oct 15, 2017 9:02:35 GMT -5
jim44444: Hoping our Irish and British friends stay safe and dry. Oct 15, 2017 9:43:02 GMT -5
eternaloptimism: No exciting weather forecast for me. A slight wind I think. Normal after everyone’s Sunday Roast anyway ;) Oct 15, 2017 13:23:15 GMT -5
darktippedrose: me too brian. Mondays are my Fridays hehe Oct 15, 2017 23:47:35 GMT -5
greatcoastal: Thank you for my birthday wishes!! I expect this year to have major changes for the better! :) Oct 16, 2017 7:39:13 GMT -5
warmways: Happy birthday month greatcoastal, sorry I belate. 🌈 Oct 16, 2017 20:04:47 GMT -5
worksforme2: Happy birthday joy.... Oct 19, 2017 11:36:50 GMT -5