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Post by darktippedrose on Mar 30, 2018 10:48:49 GMT -5
I am a woman and hypersensitive, physically and emotionally and I still get crap for it.
I think there's nothing wrong with being sensitive. For a man, there's a big difference between sensitive and gay. I've met plenty of sassy gay men who aren't sensitive at all. Only the ignorant can't tell the difference.
Its hard being sensitive. It truly is. I often get dismissed. Like its not a problem, I'm JUST sensitive that is all. Its hard. Hugs.
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Post by darktippedrose on Mar 22, 2018 0:31:23 GMT -5
It was a good intro, I think about men rejecting women. But it touched on it lightly. It didn't go into great detail.
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Post by darktippedrose on Mar 21, 2018 12:23:57 GMT -5
Oh boy, some of the guys from the old EP forum were hilarious! OMG! Some of the men I think were correct, but they were so blunt that no one took them seriously.
One guy told me I needed to have sex or I'll end up having sex, without a choice because its been so long. Instead, I feel like this picture of an old woman saying "It's been 86 years ........" lol
Not everyone is ready to make action today.
From what I've seen most sm end up in death or divorce. Even if they don't divorce, they never actually get repaired.
I've seen some who are refused only to realise that they were actually the refuser. I have seen some that realised it was a big miscommunication. Among other things. But I agree. Some of my fav SM sayings:
Your pain is their comfort zone.
They want the benefits of marriage without being married, to you.
there's others but thats all i can think of off the top of my head.
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Post by darktippedrose on Mar 15, 2018 19:27:52 GMT -5
Count me in among The Evangelical No Sex Before Marriage victims. I married him despite the red flags because I WANTED TO GET LAID. I wanted to get laid. I didn't even get laid on my wedding night. This would be fucking hilarious if it wasn't my life. this was me too. no sex on the wedding night at all. we ate lunch with my family, he dropped me off at the apartment, and went to go and pray at the Masjid. He came home later that night, and he said he didn't know how he was going to do this. And then ........ we didn't have sex until the next afternoon.
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Post by darktippedrose on Mar 10, 2018 14:36:15 GMT -5
I like it. I experienced the same confusion. I was told that all men want is sex soooo many times through my childhood. I was prepared and expecting this great horny ogre/dragon/kraken/monster. And ....... yeah. It's still awkward hearing other women talk about the men wanting sex more than them. Or not wanting to be caressed. I can't have a hug or my hand held and they just laugh that all men want is sex. They think I'm shy because I don't laugh.
My relatives know and can't understand why I don't cheat and have an affair.
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Post by darktippedrose on Mar 10, 2018 2:49:56 GMT -5
a therapist once told me my husband had anti-social personality disorder.
my husband has called me a narcissist, usually after confronting him about having sex with others. It's not all about me.
I have question my own brand of crazy.
I know I'm insecure. I have a bit of low self-esteem. I'm shy and scared of almost everything lol. I also had a toxic and co-dependent relationship with my mother, as taking care of an addict IS co-dependent.
I never really had any older women to help me out in the beginning of my marriage with my first real relationship.
my grandma tells me I'm a good wife and mother. That my husband isn't right in the head. that most men are NOT like that at all.
My being sheltered for most of my childhood and then being thrust into an independent life was probably not very helpful. It probably left me way too vulnerable to predators of all kinds.
So I have thought about how I ended up here. My relatives think I roll over over everything. I don't.
I pick and choose my battles.
My husband sees marriages as a business contract. He doesn't like to bring love into it. He laughs at the idea of love and romance. Most people who see me, ask me, HOW did you guys end up married. Even my step-daughters lol.
And yet my husband gets mad when they say I don't look like the type to be married to someone who looks like him. Hehehe.
Just today he told me, that religiously he didn't think that he had to provide anything more than food and clothes. As oppposed to most of the world that views that men have to provide all unless she gives him permission not to.
For some reason, I just think this is just another validation so he doesn't feel guilty that I pay all the billz.
Another mind game at play.
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Post by darktippedrose on Mar 9, 2018 3:35:54 GMT -5
I was really shy. I still. I had never had a boyfriend. I had had several one night stands, not all were necessarily my choice. Some of it, ughhh, stupid college.
One reason was I wanted to marry someone for my religion. The women weren't patient in teaching me to pray. I was also being pressured to get married. young women were pressured really bad at that time to get married.
I also wanted sex. I wanted sex and intimacy but I was really scared and shy.
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Post by darktippedrose on Mar 9, 2018 3:28:45 GMT -5
What exactly is DARVO? I've been reading it on the site. yes, I know it means denial, etc etc
but what does it really mean, in the sm context?
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Post by darktippedrose on Feb 21, 2018 21:31:51 GMT -5
Good luck MLM! I wish you and your daughter the best. Congrats on your "aha" moment.
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Post by darktippedrose on Feb 20, 2018 12:40:19 GMT -5
darktippedrose , was wondering where you are from? I’ve assumed you are Muslim living in US but not sure why now! Obviously don’t answer if you’d rather not say. yes I am Muslim. I live in AK. But the sect I'm a part of is a minority, theres very few of us in AK. Theres are other Muslims of various sects in here, but they aren't always welcoming to other sects. But, whatever. I'm usually at home anyways for my kids.
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Post by darktippedrose on Feb 19, 2018 19:06:53 GMT -5
I haven't seen the movies, because I too don't like idea in the movies that dominants are abusive. and I don't like that a lot of minors are thinking that they're "ready" for bdsm and all that
my husband and I talked about it
he thinks its f-ed up
he thinks i'm into it
I said that theres nothing wrong with it as long as its consensual and between adults
he think its f-ed up people, usually white, who don't know how ot have sex right.
ughhhh
in the past, if we watched a sex scene from a movie I'd get "needy" and we'd have sex
but now? no
it would be way toooo awkward.
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Post by darktippedrose on Feb 18, 2018 1:30:40 GMT -5
thank you. yes. I went out with one of my kids, my aunt and 3 cousins out to Red Robin. It was nice to have family that wants to do something with me.
One of my step-daughters bought me two books. It was super sweet.
Several relatives called me or texted me.
It was nice to have people make me feel special. My husband did not. I shouldn't feel bad because he never has.
I've NEVER had birthday sex. holiday sex. no sex-before-you-leave-town. no I-missed-you-sex.
so I don't really know why its upsetting me now
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Post by darktippedrose on Feb 17, 2018 3:15:14 GMT -5
Today I was turned 34. the only person who did NOT acknowledge my birthday was my husband.
Not surprised at all, and yet I'm still thinking about birthday sex. I have never had birthday sex. My spouse has never done anything nice for me for my birthday. He doesn't believe in celebrating birthdays, unless its someone with a spiritual importance.
Other than that, not happening.
Do others refusers do anything for them at all? acknowledge it at all?
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Post by darktippedrose on Feb 14, 2018 1:23:02 GMT -5
I rarely talk about it. He denies denying me. and he gets pissed off at me mention his cheating. Its just humiliating. He's always right, and I'm always wroing
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Post by darktippedrose on Feb 12, 2018 1:00:00 GMT -5
I wasn't raised with the idea of spousal duty what so ever. I was told that sex was not for me, it was a present for my husband. (catching me masterbating probably didn't help, and my way too curious and innocent sex questions).
but it made me stubborn anyways. I still had sex with my husband when I was sick, when I had a migraine and he banged my head against the wall. Literally.
Hurt like hell.
But he couldn't bother when I wanted it and he didn't.
I think its natural that when you love someone, that you won't want to have sex at teh same time 100%. I think its the nice thing to do. Like walking an old lady across the street.
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