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Post by Frustrated1978 on Jan 17, 2019 21:11:42 GMT -5
I learned a long time ago not to expect birthday sex. I remember many years ago i wrote quite a detailed story on the Old EP Forum before this one about the lack of birthday sex i received one year. I'd post a link to the story but i think even the old EP Archives are now unavailable. Hope all is well Sister Dark Tipped Rose.
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Post by Frustrated1978 on Jan 17, 2019 21:01:41 GMT -5
Often on these boards when a Refuser says they are ok with their partner getting their needs met elsewhere it is a lie. Your husband has cottoned on that you are fucking someone.
Best you start planning your exit strategy ASAP including seeing a lawyer. Its only a matter of time before he catches you out and you can bet his reaction will be Volcanic.
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Post by Frustrated1978 on Jan 17, 2019 20:54:22 GMT -5
Apparantly you have reached your threshold. I hope you have sorted out your ducks quickly.
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Post by Frustrated1978 on Jan 17, 2019 20:50:18 GMT -5
The present is to ignore the date all together and do nothing.
After all Room Mates don't buy each other anniversary presents.
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Post by Frustrated1978 on Jan 17, 2019 20:35:53 GMT -5
I'm gathering your husband won't like the answer he is given in January.
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Hello
Jan 17, 2019 20:27:54 GMT -5
Post by Frustrated1978 on Jan 17, 2019 20:27:54 GMT -5
Its ironic at how ok we can become with our situation once you have a full and honest assessment on what the deal is in your marriage.
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Post by Frustrated1978 on Jan 17, 2019 20:09:10 GMT -5
Reset Sex - is the Sex the Refuser throws the Refused Spouse from time to time to pacify them from possibly spitting the dummy and ending the marriage therefore also ending the comfy life the Refuser is enjoying.
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Post by Frustrated1978 on Jan 17, 2019 19:11:03 GMT -5
I hope you have retained a lawyer. You have fallen for the classic trap. She has sweet talked you into confessing your indescretions. She will most likely try to blame you and your affair for the failure of your marriage.
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Post by Frustrated1978 on Jan 17, 2019 19:07:04 GMT -5
WTF??? Reminds me of a time when i hit my wife up in bed. She said ask me another time. A couple of days later she asked me to pick something up from the store for her. My response of ask me another time was met with a deafly weird silence and awkward stare towards me.
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Post by Frustrated1978 on Jan 17, 2019 19:01:59 GMT -5
Great comments Carl. Its amazing on how different one's views can become in regards to their Refuser when they take actions in other areas of their life that boosts their self confidence.
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Post by Frustrated1978 on Jan 17, 2019 18:28:45 GMT -5
Being in a sexless marriage is destructive to one's self esteem. Once you lose your self esteem you can't really stand up for yourself can you?
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Post by Frustrated1978 on Jan 17, 2019 18:25:21 GMT -5
Baz i have found not much changes in a sexless marriage. Sure one can inflict consequences for their spousals outright refusal to have sex with them but have found any change in behavour is short lived. In the past i have refused to help out with housework, or to finance my wifes extra hobbies and beauty routines but ultimately any change seen is short lived. The only real change that can happen is when the Refused Spouse decides to call time on the marriage.
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Post by Frustrated1978 on Jan 17, 2019 18:17:06 GMT -5
From my experience on here and in my own life i would suggest that your wife's sexual issues are not medical. Indeed more probable is the theory that for whatever reason she holds some sort of resentment towards you amongst other issues she is not being honest about. I am in a similiar boat. Have sex about once a month (not by my choice) then get told to hurry up etc. I recently read a message my wife wrote to a girlfriend of hers. It basically said i would have left frustrated a long time ago if i had somewhere stay and could afford to live our current life on my income alone. Hence to say reading that hurt. However i have known the deal for a while now and wasn't devastated by this revelation.
I suggest you conduct an honest appraisal of your deal and how you choose to live with it.
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Post by Frustrated1978 on Jan 17, 2019 18:02:24 GMT -5
I hope you have sorted your financials and legal options. Eventually the penny is going to drop with your husband that the marriage is over for good and you have been sleeping with someone else to boot. Do not be surprised if as expected he takes the Narcissistic option of attempting to make your life miserable in every way possible.
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Post by Frustrated1978 on Jan 17, 2019 17:53:23 GMT -5
Its obvious that your husband has some kind of mental barriers around being physical. That said he is obviously unwilling to seek help or attempt to address these issues. The question for you is how much are you willing crap are you willing to take from him?
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