I am Staying

Hi mirrorchild!

Where would I find the opposite land thread?

Wow! It appears that an entire year has gone by since I posted last. What a year it’s been! First things first, the marriage is still back on track and holding. If anything, the level of comfort and intimacy has greatly increased. We’re on the same page most of the time, and when we aren’t , we’re really good at finding a compromise that suits us both.

The sex …well, to be honest, at first it was both dissatisfying and disappointing. Disappointing because it just felt like he wasn’t interested in whether or not it was fulfilling for me, and in my opinion the foreplay was so short that there may just as well not have been any and duration ? Yeah, no. But the fact was that he was there, he was participating and he was making the effort.

After the return of our sex life, I was mostly the initiator. That changed when I spoke up about it and let him know that I wasn’t happy always having to be the one initiating. I also made my feelings clear about the fact that I wanted more foreplay , afterplay…and an increase un the duration of intercourse itself. When I told him these things I made sure to let him him know how much I absolutely adored all his of his hugs, kisses and cuddles, all of which have become his more preferred way of showing love and affection. In no time at all, he had taken my words to heed and and the sex got better again.

Our day to day is just really nice. I no longer feel as though I’m living a farce and I no longer am uncomfortable being with him around my grown children or mother..or his daughter. The discomfort there stemmed from the no sex and feeling as though I was living a lie. I don’t have those feelings at all anymore.

It wasn’t a magical turn about. I think we both realized that we valued our marriage and each other and we put in many sessions with a therapist who helped us re-align with each other. Im just so darn happy right now. It’s very nice to not feel alone and lonely in a marriage.

Best wishes to all of you !