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Post by worksforme2 on Jan 2, 2022 19:50:17 GMT -5
I am doing a mea culpa for my post overon the ",When, very soon" theme. I postulsted that it would take a significaant threat to the marriage to move him. It's looking like I might have been slightly wrong, lanie seems to have accomplished a feat that's rarely seen here. It reads like a possible turnaround, but I won't offer congratulations just yet. Let's see where it goes before I really chow down on some serious crow. Good luck going forward lanie...
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lanie
Junior Member
Posts: 92 
Age Range: 51-55
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Post by lanie on Jan 2, 2022 21:19:48 GMT -5
Thanks worksforme2 ..I take that to heart!
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lanie
Junior Member
Posts: 92
Age Range: 51-55
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Post by lanie on Jan 11, 2022 17:47:46 GMT -5
So…small update. The quality of our communications and the general atmosphere of our time together has improved immensely. This makes us both happier and more easygoing g and it shows! The kisses have become a regular part of our days again and the cuddles are better at night. A suggestion about some adult cuddle time were met with a nod towards rather than against. All in all, it seems like we rescued our relationship from a black hole and are re-connecting on a myriad of different levels.
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Post by baza on Jan 11, 2022 20:52:38 GMT -5
ILIASM 'recovery' stories really stand out in this group, because they are so rare .... and there hasn't been a new one for quite some time. So here's hoping you go from strength to strength Sister lanie . |
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lanie
Junior Member
Posts: 92
Age Range: 51-55
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Post by lanie on Jan 12, 2022 15:23:35 GMT -5
Thank you Baza.
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lanie
Junior Member
Posts: 92
Age Range: 51-55
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Post by lanie on Jan 29, 2022 23:36:34 GMT -5
Another small update…things are still going well & the sex is being incorporated regularly…not as often as I’d prefer but Much, much better than none at all. I’d say about once a week to once every ten days or so. He seems to not have as much stamina as before, but I’m OK with that. It is what it is. We are connecting again on a deeper, more thoughtful , rather than the superficialness that had taken over for so long. It is such a refreshing g change and I’m so very glad neither one of us threw in the towel, so to speak.
I’ll keep posting!
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Post by ironhamster on Jan 30, 2022 2:16:04 GMT -5
Another small update…things are still going well & the sex is being incorporated regularly…not as often as I’d prefer but Much, much better than none at all. I’d say about once a week to once every ten days or so. He seems to not have as much stamina as before, but I’m OK with that. It is what it is. We are connecting again on a deeper, more thoughtful , rather than the superficialness that had taken over for so long. It is such a refreshing g change and I’m so very glad neither one of us threw in the towel, so to speak. I’ll keep posting! There are things that can be done to increase a man's stamina. This assumes that the man in question wants more stamina. Perhaps the easiest off the shelf fix is Viagra or Cialis, because the same pharmaceuticals used to eliminate ED also have the side effect of making it harder to get to climax. There's also using a condom to reduce sensation. Edging is another method. Just before he climaxes, force him to pull out, then wait until he is limp before resuming any stimulation. Do this over and over and his body will adjust. On the kinkier side, a nut ring will make it harder to orgasm. During orgasm, a man's vasdefrens will contract. A nut ring holds the nuts down, with the result being that orgasm is more difficult, or perhaps impossible. I have more, but I think I am pushing that TMI line already. |
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Post by ironhamster on Jan 30, 2022 2:19:41 GMT -5
I should add, lanie, congratulations on your success so far. Turning things around successfully is a rare story. I'm glad to read your updates, win, lose, or draw, and I am hopeful that you will continue to beat the odds. |
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lanie
Junior Member
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Age Range: 51-55
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Post by lanie on Jan 30, 2022 3:03:07 GMT -5
Hi ironhamster!
Thanks for the info…some of it I already knew. Perhaps I should’ve been more specific in what I meant by stamina. It isn’t necessarily that he orgasms too quickly, he can hold out. It’s that he seems to get tired and or winded? He’s a former smoker with a COPD diagnosis . He sometimes uses an inhaler.
He frequently ( in or out of bed ) complains of just being tired. It’s that he doesn’t seem to have the energy…
Thanks for your post!
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Post by jim44444 on Feb 1, 2022 12:07:13 GMT -5
Hi ironhamster! Thanks for the info…some of it I already knew. Perhaps I should’ve been more specific in what I meant by stamina. It isn’t necessarily that he orgasms too quickly, he can hold out. It’s that he seems to get tired and or winded? He’s a former smoker with a COPD diagnosis . He sometimes uses an inhaler. He frequently ( in or out of bed ) complains of just being tired. It’s that he doesn’t seem to have the energy… Thanks for your post! His lack of stamina is something he needs to address with his doctor(s). It could be just a lack of fitness or something serious. Especially with COPD he needs to communicate clearly with his medical providers. By clearly I mean honest bluntness, "Hey doc, I get very tired and winded when having sex. Can that be fixed?". That conversation could save his life. |
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Post by mirrororchid on Feb 1, 2022 18:54:58 GMT -5
...what I meant by stamina. It isn’t necessarily that he orgasms too quickly, he can hold out. It’s that he seems to get tired and or winded He frequently ( in or out of bed ) complains of just being tired. It’s that he doesn’t seem to have the energy… jim44444's suggestions are clearly the best long term plan. After all, your marriage is on the upswing. Better health for a decade or more may well meet with your cheerful approval. In the interim, though, perhaps he can offer other application of body parts to your favorite places? These can be done without holding so much of one's weight up. Starting out female superior might extend the session some? Extended side by side foreplay may reduce the time you can hold out and he'll have plenty of horsepower to stay in the game for the limited time needed. If you already knew ironhamster's tricks, my apologies for playing Cap'n Obvious here. Just consider this part to have been written for anybody else who comes across your thread. |
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lanie
Junior Member
Posts: 92
Age Range: 51-55
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Post by lanie on Feb 13, 2022 13:57:48 GMT -5
Sorry, double post.
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lanie
Junior Member
Posts: 92
Age Range: 51-55
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Post by lanie on Feb 13, 2022 13:57:58 GMT -5
All good suggestions, and I’m going to broach that topic with him and try to persuade him to go to his doctor with it. The COPD is very mild, but, as we know , that doesn’t improve over time, but perhaps we can make sure it doesn’t get any worse.
Since we both have to work on Valentine’s Day, I made reservations for yesterday for a day date at the hot tub place and we went and had a nice relaxing soak. Followed that up with some shopping for a new stereo and speakers and a nice round ( albeit short!) of lovemaking this morning. His retirement is now 2 weeks away, so lots to do in that arena.
We are still seeing the marriage counselor, I’d say now for good marriage hygiene rather than to address any problems, per se.
A good year so far.
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lanie
Junior Member
Posts: 92
Age Range: 51-55
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Post by lanie on Feb 20, 2022 11:45:09 GMT -5
Well, this morning I got turned down. He claimed to be sore with achy joints , a low grade headache and just not feeling well, so I’ll give him a pass this time. I tealized that I’m nervous every time I initiate for fear of going on the backslide or being rejected. I’ll work through it. I did mention to him the fact that I’d appreciate some oral sex. In the past, he would start at my feet and work hind way all the way up to intersperse. No he’s going straight for home base. Not my preference, but still better than nothing. He said “we’re working on it, one step at a time” which I think is a load of BS because he sure didn’t have that concept when we were dating. Anyway…just another small update.
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Post by worksforme2 on Feb 20, 2022 12:39:36 GMT -5
Hi ironhamster! Thanks for the info…some of it I already knew. Perhaps I should’ve been more specific in what I meant by stamina. It isn’t necessarily that he orgasms too quickly, he can hold out. It’s that he seems to get tired and or winded? He’s a former smoker with a COPD diagnosis . He sometimes uses an inhaler. He frequently ( in or out of bed ) complains of just being tired. It’s that he doesn’t seem to have the energy… Thanks for your post! To expand on what ironhamster has started. A couple of positions I like are of coarse cowgirl and doggie. Another I like is a spooning position with the man entering from behind while you both are on your side. One more is the man on his side and the woman on her back. One leg will be over the man's hip area thus providing easier access for penetration. Being at an almost right angle to each other also allows the male the freedom to use one hand to caress the womans lady parts while he is thrusting into her. |
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