You've reached the "ILIASM Forum".

This is an active support community for men and women dealing with the causes and effects of living in a sexless marriage. Sexless marriages may be entirely devoid of intimacy, but the term is used clinically to include couples who engage in sex fewer than 10 times per year. The causes are many, but the effects are generally detrimental, and in some cases devastating.

What is "ILIASM"? It stands for "I Live In A Sexless Marriage".

If that applies to you, then you probably need this site.

Where can you turn for support and understanding with your sexless marriage? Counseling (both individual and marital therapy) can have some benefit, but is not a cure-all. (This is actually often discussed on the forum.) Your family and friends may not be able to understand the depth of your suffering, or you may be reluctant to share intimate details... especially if you feel no one will believe you or show due sympathy. There are books and advice websites galore which propose other ways to fix your situation.

We offer not a fix but support: first of all, the support in knowing that a normal healthy sex life is a reasonable expectation in a marriage. Second, we offer the wisdom of how to deal with the burdens you may be carrying, as we've been there, too. We'll share stories, resources, and lend an ear, a hand, or a shoulder. Third, we offer you insights and options. But only you can decide what is best for you.

This is a moderated forum: the community has posted Guidelines outlining what is allowed on the site and expectations of a supportive decorum. Volunteer moderators encourage all to provide earnest and well-meaning support. However, there is no "party line" here. There are many voices, many opinions, and many options. It is up to you to share enough of your experiences so that you can receive the input you need.

Feel free to start browsing the message boards in the forum to consider if you'd like to participate. (Non-members can read the posts, but not interact.) Membership is free, but you must be 18 years or older to register. Registered members may participate in discussions by asking questions, posting supportive answers, or commenting on other posts.

To browse now, continue to the main Forum page.


This the "Shoutbox" -- basically a site-wide, group chat. (It's only visible to members.)
Handy: What happened to being light outside until 9:30 PM? It is 7:30 PM and dark now. :( Sept 20, 2020 20:46:01 GMT -5
jerri: It's not hot there? I am getting a slight break from the heat! Cheer up buddy! :) Sept 21, 2020 0:27:37 GMT -5
petrushka: Well WE are getting closer to summer. Just passed Equinox. I expect the solar panels will start paying for themselves again in the near future. (over the last few months they have merely mitigated the power bills). Sept 21, 2020 21:00:36 GMT -5
wewbwb: the average intelligence of the end posts rose greatly since I stopped posting ! Hope allis well! Sept 26, 2020 7:29:23 GMT -5
jerri: Don't be too busy to post. Come back, ! 💜 Sept 26, 2020 20:12:33 GMT -5
Handy: Jerri, you bring intelligence, so stop that nonsense. Sept 26, 2020 20:19:03 GMT -5
Handy: petrushka, I saved a picture of your solar panels and shop from an old post of yours. I like what I saw. Best wishes on getting the photons, or particles of light, to knock electrons free from atoms. Sept 28, 2020 1:09:41 GMT -5
jerri: , that's a really great Podcast so far. Robert Glover) Sept 28, 2020 15:33:24 GMT -5
tamara68: come back, you are missed here! Oct 1, 2020 10:37:41 GMT -5
petrushka: Nobody has said anything for a while, so I am going to pick on "average intelligence" Oct 14, 2020 19:17:15 GMT -5
petrushka: The average intelligence of a mob is determined by dividing the median intelligence of the members by the number of members. (just as well, we're not a mob here, n'est ce pas?) Oct 14, 2020 19:18:33 GMT -5
wewbwb: @tamara I'm just here to make you smile Oct 15, 2020 7:56:24 GMT -5
tamara68: that is so sweet of you :-* :) Oct 15, 2020 9:06:55 GMT -5
jerri: ((((hugs everyone 💕 tightly)))) Oct 15, 2020 16:05:44 GMT -5
jerri: I got sex! Yeah, baby! Snoopy dancing! Ah, the sweet heat of a man! Yummy. Masks on and not facing each other, but hey! Oct 16, 2020 3:07:17 GMT -5
petrushka: 8-) Oct 16, 2020 3:22:07 GMT -5
jerri: :P Oct 16, 2020 5:53:38 GMT -5
vickie: If you want to try counseling you can. If that don't work. I would leave. Because his controlling ways will not stop.I was married to one for 16yrs.He was controlling & physically & mentally abusive. Oct 21, 2020 17:15:53 GMT -5
worksforme2: Happy Birthday Miss Sunnybunny where ever you are. Oct 23, 2020 7:40:15 GMT -5
misssunnybunny: Thank you! I visit but don't share much anymore. I hope you are well! :) Oct 23, 2020 14:49:21 GMT -5