You've reached the "ILIASM Forum".

This is an active support community for men and women dealing with the causes and effects of living in a sexless marriage. Sexless marriages may be entirely devoid of intimacy, but the term is used clinically to include couples who engage in sex fewer than 10 times per year. The causes are many, but the effects are generally detrimental, and in some cases devastating.

What is "ILIASM"? It stands for "I Live In A Sexless Marriage".

If that applies to you, then you probably need this site.

Where can you turn for support and understanding with your sexless marriage? Counseling (both individual and marital therapy) can have some benefit, but is not a cure-all. (This is actually often discussed on the forum.) Your family and friends may not be able to understand the depth of your suffering, or you may be reluctant to share intimate details... especially if you feel no one will believe you or show due sympathy. There are books and advice websites galore which propose other ways to fix your situation.

We offer not a fix but support: first of all, the support in knowing that a normal healthy sex life is a reasonable expectation in a marriage. Second, we offer the wisdom of how to deal with the burdens you may be carrying, as we've been there, too. We'll share stories, resources, and lend an ear, a hand, or a shoulder. Third, we offer you insights and options. But only you can decide what is best for you.

This is a moderated forum: the community has posted Guidelines outlining what is allowed on the site and expectations of a supportive decorum. Volunteer moderators encourage all to provide earnest and well-meaning support. However, there is no "party line" here. There are many voices, many opinions, and many options. It is up to you to share enough of your experiences so that you can receive the input you need.

Feel free to start browsing the message boards in the forum to consider if you'd like to participate. (Non-members can read the posts, but not interact.) Membership is free, but you must be 18 years or older to register. Registered members may participate in discussions by asking questions, posting supportive answers, or commenting on other posts.

To browse now, continue to the main Forum page.


This the "Shoutbox" -- basically a site-wide, group chat. (It's only visible to members.)
worksforme2: Happy Birthday iceman, where ever you are.... Jan 10, 2024 11:45:19 GMT -5
samc: It's not cheating if the spouse in question cannot perform sexually due to physical or psychosexual disorders. Jan 10, 2024 22:34:13 GMT -5
mirrororchid: New Episode, "In Sickness, and in Health", on ILIASM's unofficial podcast: RefusedPodcast.com Jan 16, 2024 4:51:59 GMT -5 *
worksforme2: Happy Birthday flashjohn, where ever you are.... Jan 17, 2024 6:17:36 GMT -5
worksforme2: Happy Birthday catlover...... Jan 23, 2024 8:59:04 GMT -5
worksforme2: Happy Birthday idgaf96... Feb 1, 2024 12:40:42 GMT -5
worksforme2: Happy Birthday TMD,..... Feb 4, 2024 11:20:19 GMT -5
worksforme2: Happy Birthdat ironhamster.... Feb 5, 2024 5:51:01 GMT -5
worksforme2: Happy Birthday darktippedrose, lessingham,muzack.... Feb 16, 2024 6:50:55 GMT -5
worksforme2: Happy Birthday thefullmoon... Mar 2, 2024 9:03:20 GMT -5
worksforme2: Happy Birthday jmx where ever you are.... Mar 9, 2024 5:40:37 GMT -5
worksforme2: Happy Birthday tamara68... Apr 1, 2024 5:16:45 GMT -5
worksforme2: Happy Birthday workingonit, where ever you are.... Apr 1, 2024 5:17:27 GMT -5
tamara68: Thanks :) Apr 1, 2024 16:00:55 GMT -5
worksforme2: Happy Birthday snowman12345, where ever you are... Apr 11, 2024 5:37:01 GMT -5
worksforme2: Happy Birthday sweetplumeria.... Apr 30, 2024 5:57:57 GMT -5
worksforme2: Happy Birthday thebaffeledking, where ever you are... May 1, 2024 4:45:17 GMT -5
worksforme2: Happy Birthday Isabella39.... May 14, 2024 5:59:09 GMT -5
worksforme2: Happy Birthday elkclan2, where ever you are.... May 22, 2024 7:02:06 GMT -5
worksforme2: Happy Birthday twotimesone..wherever you are... Jun 28, 2024 6:32:41 GMT -5
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