You've reached the "ILIASM Forum".

This is an active support community for men and women dealing with the causes and effects of living in a sexless marriage. Sexless marriages may be entirely devoid of intimacy, but the term is used clinically to include couples who engage in sex fewer than 10 times per year. The causes are many, but the effects are generally detrimental, and in some cases devastating.

What is "ILIASM"? It stands for "I Live In A Sexless Marriage".

If that applies to you, then you probably need this site.

Where can you turn for support and understanding with your sexless marriage? Counseling (both individual and marital therapy) can have some benefit, but is not a cure-all. (This is actually often discussed on the forum.) Your family and friends may not be able to understand the depth of your suffering, or you may be reluctant to share intimate details... especially if you feel no one will believe you or show due sympathy. There are books and advice websites galore which propose other ways to fix your situation.

We offer not a fix but support: first of all, the support in knowing that a normal healthy sex life is a reasonable expectation in a marriage. Second, we offer the wisdom of how to deal with the burdens you may be carrying, as we've been there, too. We'll share stories, resources, and lend an ear, a hand, or a shoulder. Third, we offer you insights and options. But only you can decide what is best for you.

This is a moderated forum: the community has posted Guidelines outlining what is allowed on the site and expectations of a supportive decorum. Volunteer moderators encourage all to provide earnest and well-meaning support. However, there is no "party line" here. There are many voices, many opinions, and many options. It is up to you to share enough of your experiences so that you can receive the input you need.

Feel free to start browsing the message boards in the forum to consider if you'd like to participate. (Non-members can read the posts, but not interact.) Membership is free, but you must be 18 years or older to register. Registered members may participate in discussions by asking questions, posting supportive answers, or commenting on other posts.

To browse now, continue to the main Forum page.


This the "Shoutbox" -- basically a site-wide, group chat. (It's only visible to members.)
mirrororchid: Hi Lanie, ILIASM ate my welcome from a few days back. Glad you found us. Sept 15, 2021 18:57:29 GMT -5
worksforme2: My apologies to you baz and your fellow Australians for sleepy Joe forgetting PM Morrisons name...he forgets names on a pretty regular basis. Ask Scott not to take it personal... Sept 16, 2021 11:42:16 GMT -5
baza: Scott is eminently forgettable so don't worry. Jimmy Carter did the same thing in the 70's with our PM of the time, Fraser. Sept 17, 2021 18:29:58 GMT -5
worksforme2: One more thing baz...for the immediate future be careful around anyone with a French accent....the frogs are a little miffed at the moment Sept 18, 2021 15:16:14 GMT -5
worksforme2: Hey lessingham.....how is your relationship with that nephew these days? Sept 19, 2021 11:32:27 GMT -5
mirrororchid: The unofficial podcast of ILIASM.org, *REFUSED*, is on the air on Google Podcasts. podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkcy5yZWRjaXJjbGUuY29tLzhhMWU4OTMyLTg4ZTgtNDkyZi1iOWYwLWU0M2MzNmQyMDIyYw Sept 23, 2021 6:19:01 GMT -5 *
worksforme2: I made an appointment to get my booster shot for Covid19. I had to answer all kinds of security questions. Never thought that an imposter might show up and try to get my shot. Oct 5, 2021 10:01:50 GMT -5
worksforme2: UPDATE: Booster shot try failed...The booster was a Pfizer. My 1st shots were Moderna, so they would not give me the Pfizer booster. Looks like I'll be waiting for a while. Oct 8, 2021 5:28:32 GMT -5
worksforme2: WOW h, ...you gave my post in Because we all need a laugh the like response 24 times....that must be a record Oct 12, 2021 19:53:20 GMT -5
jerri: member Probably has some sort of trojan horse on his phone/computer and it is acting up. I know when mine needs to at least be restarted because I will send the same text multiple times when I only sent one. Oct 13, 2021 2:02:48 GMT -5
worksforme2: Trojan horse you say...I thought the Greeks chopped that thing up for firewood after they conquered Troy....looks like maybe someone repurposed it.... Oct 13, 2021 8:17:19 GMT -5
worksforme2: Happy Birthday greatcoastal...... Oct 14, 2021 3:51:08 GMT -5
greatcoastal: Thanks worksforme2! I've got the day off, and will be with my woman this evening! Oct 14, 2021 6:12:35 GMT -5
tamara68: Happy birthday ! Oct 14, 2021 14:56:44 GMT -5
mirrororchid: Have fun unwrapping your gift, GC. Oct 14, 2021 19:54:55 GMT -5
greatcoastal: Definitely the gift I wanted! Oct 16, 2021 20:59:56 GMT -5
jerri: woohoo! Happy Birthday, !! Oct 17, 2021 23:57:29 GMT -5
worksforme2: Happy Birthday ggold, and welcome back .... Oct 22, 2021 4:20:16 GMT -5
worksforme2: Happy Birthday misssunnybunny.....hope life is treating you well Oct 23, 2021 8:30:29 GMT -5
misssunnybunny: Thank you! Life is good! :) Oct 23, 2021 8:58:59 GMT -5