You've reached the "ILIASM Forum".

This is an active support community for men and women dealing with the causes and effects of living in a sexless marriage. Sexless marriages may be entirely devoid of intimacy, but the term is used clinically to include couples who engage in sex fewer than 10 times per year. The causes are many, but the effects are generally detrimental, and in some cases devastating.

What is "ILIASM"? It stands for "I Live In A Sexless Marriage".

If that applies to you, then you probably need this site.

Where can you turn for support and understanding with your sexless marriage? Counseling (both individual and marital therapy) can have some benefit, but is not a cure-all. (This is actually often discussed on the forum.) Your family and friends may not be able to understand the depth of your suffering, or you may be reluctant to share intimate details... especially if you feel no one will believe you or show due sympathy. There are books and advice websites galore which propose other ways to fix your situation.

We offer not a fix but support: first of all, the support in knowing that a normal healthy sex life is a reasonable expectation in a marriage. Second, we offer the wisdom of how to deal with the burdens you may be carrying, as we've been there, too. We'll share stories, resources, and lend an ear, a hand, or a shoulder. Third, we offer you insights and options. But only you can decide what is best for you.

This is a moderated forum: the community has posted Guidelines outlining what is allowed on the site and expectations of a supportive decorum. Volunteer moderators encourage all to provide earnest and well-meaning support. However, there is no "party line" here. There are many voices, many opinions, and many options. It is up to you to share enough of your experiences so that you can receive the input you need.

Feel free to start browsing the message boards in the forum to consider if you'd like to participate. (Non-members can read the posts, but not interact.) Membership is free, but you must be 18 years or older to register. Registered members may participate in discussions by asking questions, posting supportive answers, or commenting on other posts.

To browse now, continue to the main Forum page.


This the "Shoutbox" -- basically a site-wide, group chat. (It's only visible to members.)
worksforme2: Happy Birthday misssunnybunny.....hope life is treating you well Oct 23, 2021 8:30:29 GMT -5
misssunnybunny: Thank you! Life is good! :) Oct 23, 2021 8:58:59 GMT -5
ggold: Thank you ! Oct 30, 2021 0:06:17 GMT -5
jerri: Anyone with a birthday in November? has one on the 28th Yay!! @missunnybunny, Hope it was grand!!! Oct 30, 2021 3:29:31 GMT -5
misssunnybunny: , I had a wonderful birthday, thank you! Wishing everyone here a Happy Halloween! Oct 31, 2021 15:29:33 GMT -5
worksforme2: Moving right along,..received my 1st Moderna booster this morning,...Fauci is going to have to work harder to kill me Nov 4, 2021 9:45:10 GMT -5
worksforme2: Happy Birthday tiredoftears,.....I hope life is treating you well.... Nov 8, 2021 6:07:34 GMT -5
worksforme2: It's 6:30am and looking out the window I see the dark forms of my trees against the pale blue background of the sky....I like it.... Nov 8, 2021 6:33:22 GMT -5
mirrororchid: It begins again. *REFUSED* Season 2 - refusedpodcast.com - Trailer and Episode 14 "Only So Good", now available for download. Nov 8, 2021 19:24:13 GMT -5 *
worksforme2: Hey mirrororchid,....Happy Birthday...and don't try to get out of it Nov 11, 2021 12:31:11 GMT -5
mirrororchid: Much thanks, WorksForMe2. T'was pretty good. Little celebrations three days in a row, this year. Nov 12, 2021 4:32:23 GMT -5
jerri: you paint a lovely picture and Happy Birthday on the 28th!! Let's don't forget his birthday he looks for ours up here almost every day! Thanks, . Nov 17, 2021 3:34:35 GMT -5
worksforme2: Happy Birthday baza, I hope you can dodge the lockdown long enough to go out for dinner.... Nov 22, 2021 8:44:29 GMT -5
jerri: Happy Birthday, Baza!!!! yay 8-) Nov 23, 2021 3:12:48 GMT -5
worksforme2: Happy Thanksgiving to one and all... Nov 25, 2021 7:27:40 GMT -5
jerri: you too! Nov 27, 2021 7:50:15 GMT -5
jerri: Happy Birthday, Hope it's a great one!!! :) Nov 28, 2021 3:54:39 GMT -5
worksforme2: Thanks jerri....I will be preparing meals for a food ministry that my church helps sponsor... Nov 28, 2021 11:49:30 GMT -5
mirrororchid: Missed it by a day, Jerri. (I'm typically offline weekends.) Happy Birthday, WorksForMe2. Thank you for the kind wishes you send to everyone in our dysfunctional-but-getting-better family. Nov 29, 2021 4:46:45 GMT -5
worksforme2: Thanks mirrororchid..I'm having my extendeen famil over thius weekend for Thanksgiving, no competition with the moms and grandmoms that way....the bad part, giving the whole house a good cleaning so the kids can play all over the place Nov 30, 2021 5:02:35 GMT -5