You've reached the "ILIASM Forum".

This is an active support community for men and women dealing with the causes and effects of living in a sexless marriage. Sexless marriages may be entirely devoid of intimacy, but the term is used clinically to include couples who engage in sex fewer than 10 times per year. The causes are many, but the effects are generally detrimental, and in some cases devastating.

What is "ILIASM"? It stands for "I Live In A Sexless Marriage".

If that applies to you, then you probably need this site.

Where can you turn for support and understanding with your sexless marriage? Counseling (both individual and marital therapy) can have some benefit, but is not a cure-all. (This is actually often discussed on the forum.) Your family and friends may not be able to understand the depth of your suffering, or you may be reluctant to share intimate details... especially if you feel no one will believe you or show due sympathy. There are books and advice websites galore which propose other ways to fix your situation.

We offer not a fix but support: first of all, the support in knowing that a normal healthy sex life is a reasonable expectation in a marriage. Second, we offer the wisdom of how to deal with the burdens you may be carrying, as we've been there, too. We'll share stories, resources, and lend an ear, a hand, or a shoulder. Third, we offer you insights and options. But only you can decide what is best for you.

This is a moderated forum: the community has posted Guidelines outlining what is allowed on the site and expectations of a supportive decorum. Volunteer moderators encourage all to provide earnest and well-meaning support. However, there is no "party line" here. There are many voices, many opinions, and many options. It is up to you to share enough of your experiences so that you can receive the input you need.

Feel free to start browsing the message boards in the forum to consider if you'd like to participate. (Non-members can read the posts, but not interact.) Membership is free, but you must be 18 years or older to register. Registered members may participate in discussions by asking questions, posting supportive answers, or commenting on other posts.

To browse now, continue to the main Forum page.


This the "Shoutbox" -- basically a site-wide, group chat. (It's only visible to members.)
billnino312: A COVID vaccine certificate is physical or digital proof that you have been vaccinated against COVID-19 (WhatsApp +44 7541 711268) Aug 21, 2021 1:37:01 GMT -5
billnino312: (WhatsApp +44 7541 711268) Buy Covid-19 Vaccine Certificate without vaccine Aug 21, 2021 1:37:16 GMT -5
tamara68: No fraudulent spam here!! Aug 21, 2021 3:44:21 GMT -5
petrushka: @billnino: FOAD. Aug 22, 2021 15:49:17 GMT -5
jerri: so funny! I hope you are well! Aug 23, 2021 2:36:06 GMT -5
worksforme2: Happy Birthday h.... Aug 30, 2021 9:23:53 GMT -5
petrushka: happy birthday Aug 31, 2021 18:17:12 GMT -5
petrushka: 9 birthdays today! what significant thing happens 9 months ago? Out of all those, only one active member though ... Aug 31, 2021 18:19:10 GMT -5
h: Thanks Aug 31, 2021 18:54:56 GMT -5
worksforme2: Happy gorgeous day in Carolina Birthday cls.... Sept 3, 2021 13:27:53 GMT -5
jerri: jerri: Happy Birthday, !!! woo hoo Sept 6, 2021 1:14:52 GMT -5
lanie: Hello, new here. Sept 13, 2021 4:47:32 GMT -5
worksforme2: Happy Birthday obobfla where ever you are..... Sept 14, 2021 12:30:49 GMT -5
mirrororchid: Hi Lanie, ILIASM ate my welcome from a few days back. Glad you found us. Sept 15, 2021 18:57:29 GMT -5
worksforme2: My apologies to you baz and your fellow Australians for sleepy Joe forgetting PM Morrisons name...he forgets names on a pretty regular basis. Ask Scott not to take it personal... Sept 16, 2021 11:42:16 GMT -5
baza: Scott is eminently forgettable so don't worry. Jimmy Carter did the same thing in the 70's with our PM of the time, Fraser. Sept 17, 2021 18:29:58 GMT -5
worksforme2: One more thing baz...for the immediate future be careful around anyone with a French accent....the frogs are a little miffed at the moment Sept 18, 2021 15:16:14 GMT -5
worksforme2: Hey lessingham.....how is your relationship with that nephew these days? Sept 19, 2021 11:32:27 GMT -5
mirrororchid: The unofficial podcast of ILIASM.org, *REFUSED* (redcircle.com/shows/refused), is on the air and scheduled to be on Google Podcasts within a week. Coming to Apple podcasts (The Big Time!) after I polish the product. Sept 23, 2021 6:19:01 GMT -5 *
lanie: Hey...quick update. Unusually busty week or so. New job offer and interview. Things are still weird. We get along alright but I am just not understanding the no love part. My feelings/emotions are all over the place. Sept 24, 2021 16:08:14 GMT -5