Welcome

You've reached the "ILIASM Forum".

This is an active support community for men and women dealing with the causes and effects of living in a sexless marriage. Sexless marriages may be entirely devoid of intimacy, but the term is used clinically to include couples who engage in sex fewer than 10 times per year. The causes are many, but the effects are generally detrimental, and in some cases devastating.


What is "ILIASM"? It stands for "I Live In A Sexless Marriage".


If that applies to you, then you probably need this site.


Where can you turn for support and understanding with your sexless marriage? Counseling (both individual and marital therapy) can have some benefit, but is not a cure-all. (This is actually often discussed on the forum.) Your family and friends may not be able to understand the depth of your suffering, or you may be reluctant to share intimate details... especially if you feel no one will believe you or show due sympathy. There are books and advice websites galore which propose other ways to fix your situation.


We offer not a fix but support: first of all, the support in knowing that a normal healthy sex life is a reasonable expectation in a marriage. Second, we offer the wisdom of how to deal with the burdens you may be carrying, as we've been there, too. We'll share stories, resources, and lend an ear, a hand, or a shoulder. Third, we offer you insights and options. But only you can decide what is best for you.


This is a moderated forum: the community has posted Guidelines outlining what is allowed on the site and expectations of a supportive decorum. Volunteer moderators encourage all to provide earnest and well-meaning support. However, there is no "party line" here. There are many voices, many opinions, and many options. It is up to you to share enough of your experiences so that you can receive the input you need.


Feel free to start browsing the message boards in the forum to consider if you'd like to participate. (Non-members can read the posts, but not interact.) Membership is free, but you must be 18 years or older to register. Registered members may participate in discussions by asking questions, posting supportive answers, or commenting on other posts.


To browse now, continue to the main Forum page.




Shoutbox

This the "Shoutbox" -- basically a site-wide, group chat. (It's only visible to members.)
worksforme2: Happy Thanksgiving to all,....take care not to eat too much turkey today. Save some to make turkey pot pie for between the 2 holidays. Nov 28, 2019 7:07:37 GMT -5
nyctos: Lucky me. I had W policing my food intake during the holiday. Dec 1, 2019 21:40:35 GMT -5
worksforme2: My dog does most of the policing during the holidays. Drop some turkey or ham, don't worry about it. It will be gone before you can look down. Dec 24, 2019 13:49:37 GMT -5
petrushka: Happy new year everybody. Dec 31, 2019 6:55:49 GMT -5
worksforme2: Well it's 1am. I was sleeping soundly until an hour ago and then all the fireworks and guns stared going off. Jan 1, 2020 1:06:02 GMT -5
tamara68: Happy New year! Jan 3, 2020 18:46:57 GMT -5
misssunnybunny: Happy Birthday !! :) Jan 18, 2020 18:54:45 GMT -5
petrushka: Thank you! Had a great party with the boardgamers group (and BBQ, cakes and cards!) Jan 18, 2020 20:14:00 GMT -5
misssunnybunny: You're welcome! Sounds like a wonderful way to celebrate Jan 18, 2020 22:10:28 GMT -5
frednsa: yaaaaiiiiiieeeeoooooouuuuuuuuuueeeeeeeekkkkkkkkk ! OK, if feel better now..... Feb 29, 2020 18:14:01 GMT -5
petrushka: Glad you got that off your chest ;-) Mar 6, 2020 23:35:38 GMT -5
worksforme2: It is a sad day here in my small town, the only cinema has closed...it's probably close to 30 miles to get to one now... Mar 7, 2020 19:48:28 GMT -5
worksforme2: Since our esteemed governor has declared a state of emergency here in NC (a total of 12 cases so far) the hording of toilet paper has begun. Is diarrhea a part of covid 19? I see Lowes and Home Depot have quick install toilet retro fit bidets. Mar 13, 2020 10:34:57 GMT -5
petrushka: I've no idea what it is with the toilet paper hoarding. I walked out of a supermarket yesterday and saw a woman with the jumbo sized trolley and some 4x 18 roll packs of toilet paper. Nuts. Completely nuts. Incidentally, a bidet is definitely the way to go Mar 14, 2020 6:18:43 GMT -5
petrushka: Even her little 5 or 6 year old was questioning her purchase! Mar 14, 2020 6:25:44 GMT -5
petrushka: One of my favourite quotes for the last 30 years: "don't ever look a sheep in the eyes, the intellectual vacuum may suck your brains out". Well, let's all drink to the sheeple! (besides, alcohol is a good disinfectant). Mar 14, 2020 6:31:26 GMT -5
frednsa: so...............i'd like to tell her when she "attempts to placate me": have you ever been invited to a party where you knew for certain that you WEREN'T wanted ? Mar 19, 2020 15:57:05 GMT -5
worksforme2: Former Miss Hawaii tests positive. Being the gallant lad that I am I have offered her the use of my guest bedroom to "shelter in place".. Mar 23, 2020 20:34:21 GMT -5
worksforme2: Hey tamara68, there is a covid19 positive cat in Belgium, watch out for it. Mar 30, 2020 14:05:56 GMT -5
tamara68: @worksforme I think I have to be more careful for all infected people. Most likely I already have Covid19 Apr 1, 2020 3:29:42 GMT -5