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Post by novembercomingfire on Aug 15, 2018 18:38:58 GMT -5
My ex was as romantic about our anniversary as she was about anything else. Dear god, its just another day and heaven help me if I suggested that we connect physically. It turns out that, as she now claims, she never really felt any connection with me. Oh well, next anniversary is a big unknown for me. I suspect that I will need to reclaim the day in some way.
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Post by novembercomingfire on Jun 24, 2018 18:38:04 GMT -5
I have complained about my ex’s coldness and her lack of caring for my needs many many times here before, buf if I am realistic, i know that she did love me. In her own way. Someday she is either going to figure out that she was abused, she is asexual, or she is going to find some tremendously normal wealthy middle aged guy that presses her buttons in the right way. Whatever. It is no longer my problem, and as unlikely as it seems that anyone will ever have an interest in me again, i no longer have to try to chase down her loving me in the way that i need ever again.
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Post by novembercomingfire on Jun 24, 2018 18:26:48 GMT -5
Eight months separated and two weeks divorced. I barely see people at all, much less share intimacy ... I don’t even know if I have it in me anymore to have any kind of human relationship. I’m starting to think that I shouldn’t even bother. I so understand where you are coming from. I think that point has been reached for me, and I don’t bother at all. It’s makes it slightly easier to bear if I just think of myself as old and undesirable to quash any expectations. I try to not have any hope at all, but I guess there is always a small flame of hope burning in the human heart for what we need, but can’t have. I wish that small flame would go out, but maybe it keeps me alive. And i still have made no progress at 4 months divorced. I shouldn’t say “progress.” I have made no attempt at all. This is the not the same world that existed more than 20 years ago when i connected with my ex. I don’t recognize what it is that women want now and with me being older, more out of shape, more isolated, etc. I tend to think that there isn’t any hope for me. Of course, maybe this is just the way it should be for me. Maybe what i am supposed to be is celibate and alone. I guess i’ll find out in the long term.
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Post by novembercomingfire on May 14, 2018 21:52:34 GMT -5
One day after our wedding day. Twenty years ...
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Post by novembercomingfire on Mar 7, 2018 16:52:22 GMT -5
Eight months separated and two weeks divorced. I barely see people at all, much less share intimacy ...
I don’t even know if I have it in me anymore to have any kind of human relationship. I’m starting to think that I shouldn’t even bother.
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Post by novembercomingfire on Mar 5, 2018 14:27:14 GMT -5
Oh heavens yes ...
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Today ...
Feb 21, 2018 22:17:18 GMT -5
via mobile
Post by novembercomingfire on Feb 21, 2018 22:17:18 GMT -5
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Today ...
Feb 21, 2018 21:23:34 GMT -5
via mobile
Post by novembercomingfire on Feb 21, 2018 21:23:34 GMT -5
Best to you as you start this new chapter of your life. It is a relief to have the process finished after so much stress to get to the end. Thank you!
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Post by novembercomingfire on Feb 21, 2018 20:14:43 GMT -5
My best wishes for a better future. How are you feeling? Thank you! I feel relieved. Like someone let me out of a cage.
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Today ...
Feb 21, 2018 20:13:17 GMT -5
via mobile
Post by novembercomingfire on Feb 21, 2018 20:13:17 GMT -5
As of today, I am a free man. My divorce was finalized this morning. I am glad to join you on the other side ... I'm Jealous!! Here's to restoration, and new beginnings!!!! Thank you!
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Post by novembercomingfire on Feb 21, 2018 18:52:21 GMT -5
As of today, I am a free man. My divorce was finalized this morning. I am glad to join you on the other side ...
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Post by novembercomingfire on Feb 4, 2018 11:10:43 GMT -5
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Post by novembercomingfire on Jan 20, 2018 17:30:14 GMT -5
Not much post game discussion that I recall either! But the last two excuses that led me to stop initiating were: "I'm perimenopausal" and "It's normal", I could've argued both of those, but I think I registered at that point that it wasn't worth it. We weren't in the same library, reading the same book let alone on the same page! You live and learn eh?! My ex started ising the “i’m perimenopausal” line when she was about 27. And she was still using it 20 years later when i gave up about a year ago.
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Post by novembercomingfire on Jan 20, 2018 14:24:20 GMT -5
I am seriously leaning toward escorts, rather than even trying to navigate the modern rules of dating. I don’t think i have another relationship in me anyway.
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Post by novembercomingfire on Jan 20, 2018 11:46:13 GMT -5
I left and recently saw a lawyer. Best decision of my life. STBX is in rage mode. Threatening to sue me if I tell co workers the reason for our split. I laughed. My ex had an excuse at the ready in case the sexlessness came up: for 20 years she couldn’t have sex with me because there was no emotional connection. For 20 years. I didn’t even bother making it an issue. Why bother.
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