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Post by bballgirl on Nov 2, 2018 17:23:11 GMT -5
Card Funny card. Do not exert any emotional energy on someone who only says NO. It’s one day out of 365 and it will pass.
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Post by bballgirl on Nov 2, 2018 12:52:20 GMT -5
I did not ANNOUNCE the divorce until I had already talked to three lawyers and I knew which one I was going with. I had a plan with a timeline and I knew I was ready. Do not play your hand until you’ve drawn the full hand! Don’t go nuclear until you are ready for the fall out! For me, that's the hardest part, not going nuclear. She pushes me so hard. I have to really work at it And I've got about 8 more months to go. 8 months is doable keep your eye on the prize and play your cards smart. Everything will turn out good in the end! Hugs
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Post by bballgirl on Oct 31, 2018 18:02:51 GMT -5
My W think sex positive books that are written by women are paid for by sex crazed men. In effect, men pay women to get what some want, based on the man's little head. If she isn’t interested in your sexuality than your sexuality is none of her business. Find someone that is interested and will enjoy it with you. She is clueless and selfish.
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Post by bballgirl on Oct 31, 2018 17:53:11 GMT -5
I did not ANNOUNCE the divorce until I had already talked to three lawyers and I knew which one I was going with. I had a plan with a timeline and I knew I was ready.
Do not play your hand until you’ve drawn the full hand!
Don’t go nuclear until you are ready for the fall out!
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Post by bballgirl on Oct 30, 2018 16:15:08 GMT -5
Clarity is huge! Congrats! And yes you are free!!
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Post by bballgirl on Oct 23, 2018 18:16:58 GMT -5
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Post by bballgirl on Oct 14, 2018 14:00:22 GMT -5
So happy for you both enjoy the rest of your life!
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Post by bballgirl on Oct 14, 2018 10:43:19 GMT -5
I think a SM is one big mindfuck. The promise that was made to love and cherish has perished away and turned into rejection which is very debilitating both mentally and emotionally. It causes us to question ourselves and ask “what’s wrong with me?” It can lead to depression and an unhealthy life. There should be certain expectations that come with marriage and I believe you get what you give. So if you are not getting the marriage you want why should the refuser get the marriage they want. In regards to self esteem and validation that is part of showing someone love whether it’s a spouse or a child. I really think this speaks to the concept of love languages which I believe in. Everyone has different ways that make them feel loved, and I do think these can change over time somewhat. I also think that all love languages should be expressed some more than others. I am big on Words of affirmation. I really like that but it took outsourcing for me to get that. Needless to say my self esteem was very bad during my marriage. Mr. Baseballgirl was a lousy husband and now he’s basically a roommate/ best friend, it’s not conventional after a divorce but I no longer rely on him to feed me with what he’s not capable of. My fwb have discussed the validation and support that we provide for each other. So I basically seeked out what I needed for myself to be happy by finding that with 2 different men. Again it’s not conventional but it works for me and my family for now.
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Post by bballgirl on Oct 13, 2018 12:02:22 GMT -5
I kept my married name. I wanted the same name as my kids. I like my married name better. After 23 years of marriage the name was who I am independent of being married to him or not.
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Post by bballgirl on Oct 7, 2018 10:29:36 GMT -5
First off I am very sorry for the struggle in your family and I hope that your son will be well.
As far as your husband- refusers are selfish people and not just with sex. A lot of the dynamics between the father/son relationship can be tough during the teenage years even without curveballs like drugs and avoidance.
You have every right to be pissed. My ex was a selfish and shitty husband and he’s a selfish father as well. My kids are old enough to see it. My son (15) is old enough to understand the dynamics between his father and I. During the divorce my ex felt like my son was getting what he wanted with the divorce. This week my daughter(11) wanted to go to a tryout at school and had to be there at 7:45. Her father said No I want to sleep. She was crying knew it was unfair and spoke to me. I said I’ll take you and get to work late. She told her father I would take her and go to work late and he knew I’d be pissed and he knew he was wrong so he took her.
My point and my issues are in way as serious as yours, the father’s of our children are selfish men. They will never change. It is knee jerk to think of themselves first and be takers instead of givers. Expect the minimum from them because it’s like being a single mom. However channel their selfishness to make yourself stronger to do for yourself and your son and if he’s not happy with the way his life and his relationships with his wife and children then that’s his problem because a person reaps what he sows. He is not a giving father so the kids will one day have little to do with him. He is a shitty husband so fuck him! (And not in the good way)
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Post by bballgirl on Oct 7, 2018 10:06:04 GMT -5
If there wasn’t kids involved I would not stay as long as I can support myself after a divorce.
I understand staying because of kids and money at the end of the day you have to pay the bills and provide for your children.
In regards to hope - my POV : it’s a waste of time to hope that someone will change and want to have sex with you. There are exceptions but most people don’t change.
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Post by bballgirl on Oct 2, 2018 18:54:34 GMT -5
At least you’re free now to enjoy the rest of your life. I’m happy for you!
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Post by bballgirl on Sept 29, 2018 21:39:12 GMT -5
Congrats!! I’m so happy for you!!
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Post by bballgirl on Sept 29, 2018 12:46:56 GMT -5
Sorry you had a tough start to the weekend. It’s good you posted so you can remember and reflect later.
Clearly your wife has issues when the 7 year old is more emotionally intelligent to know what’s right and wrong.
Just a gentle suggestion: maybe next time she is yelling then take the kids out to breakfast or to a park and tell or text her that her behavior is not acceptable, nobody has to take that abuse, and you don’t treat people you love that way. Removing yourself and the kids will at least diffuse the event at the moment.
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Post by bballgirl on Sept 28, 2018 17:06:18 GMT -5
I’m overweight and I’ve been overweight my entire life. I have lost twenty pounds the past year but I’ve hit a brick wall and the scale isn’t moving either way but I need to start exercising again once the weather gets cooler.
My libido is the same either weight.
I felt sexy before I dropped the twenty pounds and I feel sexy now too.
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