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Post by worksforme2 on May 21, 2024 9:22:31 GMT -5
Since my divorce I have kept a couple feeders for hummingbirds. I wrote about the lack of birds at one feeder and how I finally figured out what I was doing wrong. Now this year it is already mid-May and I don't have any birds yet. But this morning I learned I am not alone. In this area it seems a # of other people who enjoy hummingbirds are also experiencing no birds. I don't know if it was all the storms in south Texas and northern Mexico but the birds semingly have not returned. I will keep changing the water in my feeders hoping one or 2 will eventually find their way to my yard.
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Post by worksforme2 on May 21, 2024 6:12:41 GMT -5
I think Iām going to turn bisexual. It would greatly increase my chances of getting a fwb šš I am also pretty keen on finding another partner for intimacy. But before I would give any thought to turning to another man I think I would give some consideration to a sex doll. Considering a doll would also greatly increase your odds of having a fwb. A doll never says "no". She is always shall we say "in the mood" for some great sex. Got a kink? A doll isn't judgemental about your fetish or what positions you enjoy. And if you really want the "bi" experience, a doll can accomodate a strap on to give you the "pegging" experience. Other positive recomendations for a doll include no worry about possble STI's, she will never critize your food choices or combinations, never argue about what to watch on the tube, football or a rom-com. And what a doll might lack in conversational skills, she will make up for in empthazising with problems with work or other life challenges. I could go on, but I think you see the obvious advantages a doll might bring to your life experience. And I think it might also be worth mentioning having a doll to address your intimacy needs might mot be seen as being unfaithful but your W. I am of course just having some fun on a Tuesday morning.
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Post by worksforme2 on May 14, 2024 9:51:07 GMT -5
I kinda like it. You and I are 2 of the more senior members at this site. A lot of life experience to get us where we are. This week I started really seeing to the final disposition of my body when I pass. Made arrangements for a cremation. I am updating my will and legal papers that will be needed by my sons. And to answer the question of "when did I get old". Seems like it was when I realized that finding a partner in my age demographic that is still interested in intimacy may just be something that is out of reach. And the really hard part, I am thinking of selling my Harley. Riding just isn't as much fun as it used to be.
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Post by worksforme2 on May 14, 2024 9:29:36 GMT -5
I don't believe she would go for opening up the marriage. Never asked. It seems like she wants to look for a new cook by her actions. Taking the "shock and awe" approach by suggesting the marriage be "open" is certainly one way you can go. Such an approach may be sufficient to bring about a change of heart on her part. I took this approach and it worked for about 3 months as my then W resumed being sexual again. You won't know until you have the conversation. Or she may outright reject the idea, insisting on continued monogamous celibacy. I would suggest before having that conversation you have a conversation with an attorney , just in case things go sideways. The conversation with the attorney is in case she chooses to look for a new cook, if she hasn't already been enjoying a meal on the side without your knowleedge.
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Post by worksforme2 on May 12, 2024 10:32:32 GMT -5
My 1st thoughts are it isn't inappropriate for you to speak to him about the porn. One question from me is "how much porn is he taking in"? Is it once or twice a week or just about every day? If it isn't a big deal to him he should at least be willing to meet your concerns somewhere you can both live with it.
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Post by worksforme2 on May 12, 2024 10:27:26 GMT -5
They honestly think they are justified to decide for 2 people sex life was OVER....... the claim they love us is completely void of reality ........ My X made the decision that we should be celibate without consulting me on how I might feel about it. And when she implimented that decision i wasn't very happy. She had friends that she referred to who were also in sexless marriages and once ask me "why can't you(me) be like the other huisbands and just do without sex"? She never claimed to love me completely. She loved the trips and other perks the marriage brought, but she wasn't willing to part with a piece of p*ssy on a regular basis to keep the marriage going.
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Post by worksforme2 on May 11, 2024 16:25:38 GMT -5
Just curious, lonelyhubby , toughtiger , m76 What are your refusers/deniers' definitions of "forsaking"? How does this treatment differ? My spouse i asked straight up to open the marriage since he does not even try to repair......... he threw a fit and said that would kill the marriage. i reminded him when younger he actually cheated and want me to look past and forgive ...(i was having a difficult time with health and my job and he said he thought i hated him because i did not listen to his advice which in hindsight would have been the worst things to do) so i told him "IF he could make a solid case for rationalization of the double standard ....... i would give a f about his point of view " This is the another part about refusers I don't get. When they have no interest in being sexual, why do they get so upset at the possibility that we might seek another partner willing to answer our need for affection and intimacy? If our sexless spouses have thrown the intimacy in the dumpster, what is the issue if someone does a bit of dumpster diving and makes life better for us, the refused?
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Post by worksforme2 on May 11, 2024 16:18:26 GMT -5
Congratulations even,...It's good when a post divorce member pens an update that is positive about the life they are living now. It's my hope postings like this one will give someone else the courage to take the step necessary to deal with their SM. I hope things continue to go in a positive directon for you. It looks like the divorce was amiable for the most part and that the 2 of you are making the co-parenting work for your daughter. Stay strong and keep plowing ahead.
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Post by worksforme2 on May 3, 2024 14:17:57 GMT -5
I am still weighing my options - I turn 60 this July and just can't accept a sexless life going forward. More Marriage / sex therapy today - this is going to be discussed since she avoided discussing her issues of dryness, pelvic pain and total lack of desire with her OBGYN. Perhaps a partner for sex and physical intimacy is going to be the option, just unsure at this point. She has started kissing me on the lips, and hugging. She placed my head on her breast yesterday, so are these signs she is crawling her way back - or are they breadcrumbs? Time will tell - but it's getting pretty hard to continue without You sound a lot like me 10 yrs ago. I was 65 when my now X decided celibacy was what she wanted. It would have been nice if she had at least given me a "heads up" as to what was in the works. It wasn't anything physical, like you describe about your mrs. With my X it was the completion of menopause. She got plenty wet on the rare occasions we were intimate. But quarterly just was not doing it for me, and no amount of talking brought about a change of heart for her. Hope the counselling gets your W to reconsider her actions.
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Post by worksforme2 on May 2, 2024 6:43:07 GMT -5
Not real well. My work sent me to a psychologist many years ago for depression. The psychologist suggested I have an affair. Yes really. She was a new graduate, mid 20's. So easy for her but for a guy in his 50's? It's not as if I can get a script from the doc to go get a bit. I did try and failed many times due to ED and nerves. I found contacts on adult matchmaker. I was/am damaged goods due to depression so the vicious circle continured. AS I said, one woman I did see quite a lot and it worked OK. I was and always am, the mild mannered respectible type and I think she really wanted a hung stud, a thrashing machine. In my mid 50's I was fairly successful in getting laid, eventually settling in with a woman who became mrs. worksforme2. But in my mid 70's it has been a different story. My local has something to do with it as I live in a rural setting where cows are almost as numerous as people. But it also seems women in their 70's are just not as interested in romance. Going on rides on a really big boat with thousands of other people seems preferable to weekend getaways and sightseeing with like minded people at a B&B. Spending their time gazing at an empty ocean with intermittant stops at corporate owned tourist islands where they can shop for sunglases and beads is what seems to be their prefference. As a single male that is not for me. If i choose to experience another country and culture I want to immerse myself in the actual day to day life of the residents of that country, and visit the historical homes, building, and places that constitute what shaped the culture and thinking of its people. But I digress....Back to finding prospective partners. I'm hoping the old hunting grounds, pickup lines and techniques will eventually work for me again. So I will continue to go with what has worked in the past. Opportunity is bound to come around again.
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Post by worksforme2 on Apr 29, 2024 11:19:16 GMT -5
I have heard that some Women do masturbate to relax before bed. They seem to lose the connection between masturbation and sexual desire. I get this but the reason I'm stunned is because for months she's been saying she never masterbates. Leaning into this I've asked if she would be open to me helping her "relax" and she was actually open to this. So it seems like a mental game to meet the same end result? this reads like a clever ruse to disguise foreplay on your part. Unless of coarse you have no intenion of eventually easing your member into the honeypot at some point....
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Post by worksforme2 on Apr 29, 2024 11:14:49 GMT -5
this morning I learned that a spoonful of honey has enough nutriants and enzimes to sustain a human for a day. I use a lot of honey in baking and making ginger tea....Thank you honeybees...
Also one should not use a metal spoon when measuring or dispensing honey. The metal neutralizes the benefical enzimes in the honey...Use a wooden or plastic spoon...
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Post by worksforme2 on Apr 27, 2024 7:46:39 GMT -5
While we still live in the same house I hold on to a tiny amount of hope that she may want more but I'm not expecting anything to change. My thoughts are at some point she may indeed want more. But the more you are hoping for will not be the more she wants. When the seperation and divorce comes she may want more that 1/2 of evertything accumulated during the marriage. She may want a whopping settlement or perhaps substancial alimony and support for the indefinite future (think in terms of the rest of your life). That small hope you are clinging to may well keep you in the marriage when you both would be better served being apart. Unfortunaqtely, hope is often the enemy in a SM.
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Post by worksforme2 on Apr 25, 2024 6:23:12 GMT -5
I've never done much reading or thinking about fetishes. Other than viewing them as legal addictions. I did briefly do some reading on latex fetish when early on I looked at joining one dating site. But there were so many questions about which latex fantasy I preferred I dropped the idea. so fetishes are alien to me. Be that as it may the result is the same as any other drug or porn obsession to a marriage. One can and often does end up in a SM. Not sure how much the members here are going to be able to help. My thoughts are that no matter how much you care about your partner you must decide if this addiction is one you can live with for the rest of your life. Because if your H does not see this as a problem and does not wish to prioritize the marriage as opposed to the fetish, then it likely will only get worse and more consuming for him.
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Post by worksforme2 on Apr 24, 2024 7:24:13 GMT -5
m76,...Sometimes we have to be dragged, kicking and screaming to the acknowledgement that it is time to set a new coarse for our lives. That was the case for me in me ending my SM. Yes, leaving the marriage will be a challenge for the both of you. But staying presents challenges as well. And staying incures the added element of a frustrating and unhappy existance for you. And who would choose existing when you could take the chance of living. good luck and keep us in the loop.
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