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Post by isthisit on Dec 1, 2023 18:25:19 GMT -5
She said she is keen to get it on tonight, I sent her this... Reverse CowgirlAnd she has said OK, looks good, so let’s see! And you got missionary? Quelle surprise. You’re married to the Artful Dodger. |
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Post by sweetplumeria on Dec 2, 2023 3:57:49 GMT -5
I am going with these 2 .... Uh.... are we too old to learn most of this list? I know some but.. or should i say butt? |
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miestas
Junior Member
Posts: 74 
Age Range: 61-65
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Post by miestas on Dec 2, 2023 4:12:25 GMT -5
I am going with these 2 .... Uh.... are we too old to learn most of this list? I know some but.. or should i say butt? Absolutely not. Despite the old adage about old dogs and new tricks, it is never too late to learn something new. However, being old means that your learning curve may have flattened out somewhat, requiring very frequent repetition to achieve mastery of the new subject. You may need an instructor with a lot of stamina…I mean patience. And a strong back. |
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Post by week5of35years on Dec 5, 2023 5:23:27 GMT -5
Hi, so.... Friday night (1st Dec) I decided we should talk about a few past things and I wanted her to really see what life was like from my PoV for the time we had been together. She did not get that "shagging her bum" had been a compromise/crumbs from the table, and not what I had wanted or considered part of a healthy Sex life... and I would much rather have been actually PIV shagging her, every single time... I think she got it when she said " well our sex life used to be great (frequency)" to which I replied "not for me, even at the start we were having sex maybe twice per month and every time I shagged your bum, five times a week, I would rather have been having sex with you" I think that really made her reflect on the past. We talked out into the small hours and we were ok by the end of it... She had come back to me on my self created Yes/No/Maybe list and she had flagged "no" to anal sex, which stumped me, but she said that she recalls I had fingered her ass before and it was nice and that messing around with her ass and anal would all be very very dependant on how horny she was when we were actually having sex and foreplay, and she felt it unlikely she would be ok with us "pre-planning" to have anal sex, although if me playing around with her ass made her feel good and horny, then over time that association may mean her thinking may change as well. Saturday was sleep recovery and talking about what was next... Sunday AM we had sex and it was very varied and fun, we started with foreplay, a bit of vibrator foreplay on her and then sex in a few positions with mutual masturbation at the end to get orgasms. Monday (last night) we did the tick list sheet (not the Sex Geek one) and compared notes on what is ok and not ok, we were broadly similar with neither having Yes's or No's that surprised or raised eyebrows in the other.... Last night (Monday) I whatsapp'd her 30mins before bed and said if she was wearing knickers when I came to bed I would use a toy on her and then my fingers to make her cum as hard and often as she did on Sunday AM. She replied "I can be a tart, lie on my back spread eagle..." I said ok and told her to go up and get some toys out for me to use on her.... she did and so that seemed to work out just fine... Monday night (last night) we fooled around with each other, back massage, vibrator on her V as foreplay and mutual masturbation, again that was fun too. I have not yet cum PIV since we started off on this new trail.... although we have had lots of PIV since the 11th Nov (7 times)(.....more PIV sex than in the last 9.5 yrs combined), on Sun we went for massage for her, vibrator on her V, then cowgirl, doggy style and missionary but non long enough for me to cum, I could tell it was uncomfortable for her (better than painful, but not a turn on for me) so for me after getting so aroused with foreplay, I will need more time PIV to actually cum, she has not yet had an orgasm from PIV sex either as of yet, she used to in the past and I think that will come with time also.... She did say that she is getting "wet" within minutes of us starting foreplay and a couple of times she has grabbed my hand and put it into her V as I think she was pretty surprised as well that she was soaking and really ready for sex.... she said that because of that if I felt a quickie would help me cum she was up for that when we were having sex that was going to be focussed on me... We have discussed what we want to do to set the scene each evening so that each others expectations are understood, nothing major, just a I am/am not horny, nice to have sex tonight, just want to cuddle and massage tonight etc.... so far this is me initiating and also I guess checking the lie of the land.... I told her my fear is that this is a reset and we will be back to square one after XMAS... She has not initiated yet or taken the lead but is more responsive to touch and foreplay than I have ever seen before at all. She says she is herself surprised by how she is responding and how aroused she is getting and how much she is able and wanting to cum and enjoying the intimacy of one shape or another every night. We discussed how we segue into actually trying the scenario's or positions we have flagged as ok and that is going to be the next step and I am going to use that to encourage her to initiate sex.... she says she wants to make love in front of our open fire in the lounge.... she also said is ok with and she wants me to take her doggy style in the kitchen over the island which will make me a very, very happy horny guy.... as this is one of my fantasy scenario's (of many, which she was ok with completely except anal as mentioned above) I don't think we have settled into a routine yet and this all feels kind of manic and new at the moment, but I want to keep up the pace and level of intimacy for now and at some point we will see where we land....  |
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Post by week5of35years on Dec 5, 2023 10:35:33 GMT -5
Tonight we have to do some of the Sex geek sheet.... it si clear that the type of language we are using is important and part of that sheet is a what is acceptable language test.... I have a "Whats your level" test sheet also but some of that is a bit odd (in my view) in what they class as starter sext and intermediate and advanced.... so will do the sex geek one tonight and find out what her negative word associations are.... (and she can see mine) as for example whilst I love her calling herself a "tart" I don't feel the same about the word "slut" from or too her..... go figure huh.....
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Post by sweetplumeria on Dec 7, 2023 8:35:15 GMT -5
Tonight we have to do some of the Sex geek sheet.... it si clear that the type of language we are using is important and part of that sheet is a what is acceptable language test.... I have a "Whats your level" test sheet also but some of that is a bit odd (in my view) in what they class as starter sext and intermediate and advanced.... so will do the sex geek one tonight and find out what her negative word associations are.... (and she can see mine) as for example whilst I love her calling herself a "tart" I don't feel the same about the word "slut" from or too her..... go figure huh..... Wow! I think this whole thing is amazing! I feel like unofficially I have been open with AP and learned some of these things in discussions but the sheets seem to be effective on getting both of you on the same page and it amazes me. I hope this also benefits someone else who finds our board! Congrats for now. |
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Post by week5of35years on Dec 7, 2023 9:26:46 GMT -5
Tonight we have to do some of the Sex geek sheet.... it si clear that the type of language we are using is important and part of that sheet is a what is acceptable language test.... I have a "Whats your level" test sheet also but some of that is a bit odd (in my view) in what they class as starter sext and intermediate and advanced.... so will do the sex geek one tonight and find out what her negative word associations are.... (and she can see mine) as for example whilst I love her calling herself a "tart" I don't feel the same about the word "slut" from or too her..... go figure huh..... Wow! I think this whole thing is amazing! I feel like unofficially I have been open with AP and learned some of these things in discussions but the sheets seem to be effective on getting both of you on the same page and it amazes me. I hope this also benefits someone else who finds our board! Congrats for now. Thanks, it has been very helpful in identifying the areas/topics/activities where the answer from W is "don't go there...." just knowing that and having a list of "yes pls go there....." is a MASSIVE help and also the list of "maybe's" give areas for future exploration... I think.... it seems to me a good non confrontational/triggering way to explore, I'll post the list if anyone is interested... |
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Post by mirrororchid on Dec 8, 2023 6:03:23 GMT -5
Wow! I think this whole thing is amazing! I feel like unofficially I have been open with AP and learned some of these things in discussions but the sheets seem to be effective on getting both of you on the same page and it amazes me. I hope this also benefits someone else who finds our board! Congrats for now. Thanks, it has been very helpful in identifying the areas/topics/activities where the answer from W is "don't go there...." just knowing that and having a list of "yes pls go there....." is a MASSIVE help and also the list of "maybe's" give areas for future exploration... I think.... it seems to me a good non confrontational/triggering way to explore, I'll post the list if anyone is interested... Well, duh. Yeah. Post it. "...if anyone is interested." Sheesh. |
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Post by week5of35years on Dec 8, 2023 12:12:24 GMT -5
Apols, easy to become self absorbed… this was her response to the first list… my personal list… will drop the response to the web grabbed list also… we had PiV sex last night and it was good and I came which was nice even if it felt very weird tbh…. First time for me since we started ….  But it was a positive step forward, she did not cum, but as she noted it did not hurt at all and she enjoyed it… and I had fingered her to some satisfaction at 6am yesterday morning as she was awake, tossing and turning and I offered to “chill her out” which she accepted (“as long as it’s quick”…. Took me 14mins from V touch to blast off) anyway… here is what she said… Scenarios I want to make love in (and ....) The shower (!!). Yes The Bath yes The bathroom. isn't that same as 2 above ha ha !!! On the stairs yes The kitchen, doggy style with you bent over the island (!!) Yes Kitchen you on top of the island, mee stood up missionary position. yes In a jacuzzi. yes In a swimming pool. maybe In the sea. maybe On the sofa. yes On the sofa you are straddling me, facing me and away from me.. yes You facing the back of the sofa and me from behind (!!). Yes You stradling me sat on a dining chair yes or office In the garden on a hot sunny afternoon, me fingering you and you having to be super quiet to stop the neighbours hearing. yes You giving me a blow job and my cock being deep in your mouth (not choking) and your squeezing my balls and I come.. yes Me shagging you hard and you making lots of noise and coming so much you can't take it any more. yes You blindfolded on the bed with your arms restrained above your head at my mercy for nibble and lick and shagging you.... Maybe not together but both separately You on the edge of the bed so I can stand/lean onto you, missionary and doggy, like we did when you were 9mths pregnant that time years ago (!!). Yes all Massage with oils where I can cover you in oil and feel your ass and then fanny until you come really hard, you lying face down and also you lying face up, me at the side of the bed.. yes as mentioned will post the web checklist… |
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Post by worksforme2 on Dec 8, 2023 13:38:48 GMT -5
Uh.... are we too old to learn most of this list? I know some but.. or should i say butt? Absolutely not. Despite the old adage about old dogs and new tricks, it is never too late to learn something new. However, being old means that your learning curve may have flattened out somewhat, requiring very frequent repetition to achieve mastery of the new subject. You may need an instructor with a lot of stamina…I mean patience. And a strong back. You are quite correct. I would add you are never too old to try new thing that appeals to you. My new partner is 75 (as am I )and she trying new things almost every week. The sex in her 50 yr. marriage was mostly pretty vanilla. If all goes well with the TriMix she will experience PIV with a vibrator assist on her cliterus this Saturday. Again something new for her. She is going to start practicing depressing her gag reflex by taking long but small diameter objects into her throat. In a couple or so weeks perhaps if she practices often enough and gradually increases the size of the item she is easing into her throat, she will be able to try taking my penis into her throat. She is eager to experience this. Lots of other new things are in the game plan for her. |
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Post by week5of35years on Dec 11, 2023 3:47:05 GMT -5
Here is the tick list as mentioned.... it is from my W's PoV  |
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Post by week5of35years on Dec 12, 2023 4:13:18 GMT -5
Language Yes/No/Maybe  |
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Post by week5of35years on Dec 12, 2023 4:33:00 GMT -5
We had a quite busy weekend... We made love on Thursday last week (as mentioned) PIV and I came, then Saturday AM, PIV and she came once while having sex and once after with my fingers....and she played with me until I came, then Sunday AM she asked if I wanted her to play with me and I did and she made me cum again... She said that neither PIV sessions on Thursday or Saturday had hurt at all and she was really pleased by that. We did the language and emotions part of the sex geek questionnaire last night and again this was good in that it clears the way for language/sext talk in the bed room and out... for example I had said in the last weeks...."I am going to finger you now".... and we discussed last night that I should be saying "I am going to finger fuck your dripping pussy and make you cum hard" which she said she would find horny to hear... We also talked about her becoming more assertive in the pre-bedroom build up and also in simply taking the lead and initiative sometimes... she said she felt she was more assertive actually in bed when we are having foreplay or sex now, and I def. validated that and I requested she go further than directing me (hand here, fingers there, a bit softer, harder etc) ... and actually just do/tell me what she wants to do or done to her ..., but she has rarely done initiation or taken part in the build up of events ahead of sex and we talked about how she could start to do that and that I would find that really horny.... her participating more in sext talk on WhatsApp (maybe sending me flash pictures) and using clothing (or lack of it) as a gateway to her taking the initiative more (dress or skirt, no knickers.... put your hand up here etc etc....) Overall we are making progress and I am optimistic we will achieve the twice per week targets I set when we had The Talk... I asked her last night how she was feeling about all this now.. she said she was "surprised how often she had cum, how wet and turned on she was getting and how much she wanted to be fucked" ... I almost fell off the chair at that last one and my pants def. showed signs of stress at the crotch.... My log... (as an FYI where there is a small triangle like on the 10th Dec it means that for example, she played with me on the 10th and then separately, in this case at 4am Monday Morning, she asked to be played with and I made her cum, so basically, two events same day different times)  l. |
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Post by week5of35years on Dec 12, 2023 6:09:44 GMT -5
Feelings questionnaire.......  l. |
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Post by mirrororchid on Dec 12, 2023 7:02:06 GMT -5
The shower (!!). Yes The Bath yes In a jacuzzi. yes In a swimming pool. maybe In the sea. maybe Lots of water events here. While I've tried it, water tends to do a number on lubrication. Ruined the moment. I'd hate for you to get hopes up and have it turn out to be impossible. ILIASM folk, how do you make underwater connection work? Some type of hydrophobic lubricant? Heck, maybe a formula specifically for the purpose? On the feelings questionnaire These are things you do feel during or after intimacy? Or you want to feel that way? Astounding level of research you've been willing to share., Thank you. I am detecting joy in your work. Do you crunch numbers for a living? Some type of research position? |
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But it was a positive step forward, she did not cum, but as she noted it did not hurt at all and she enjoyed it… and I had fingered her to some satisfaction at 6am yesterday morning as she was awake, tossing and turning and I offered to “chill her out” which she accepted (“as long as it’s quick”…. Took me 14mins from V touch to blast off) 
