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Post by bballgirl on May 17, 2016 18:36:20 GMT -5
So I had a very good date yesterday with a pretty cool man. We have A LOT in common with our interests.
I realize that it's very early in this acquaintance.
He did convey to me that he doesn't want to rush into intercourse. My mind thinks: ok maybe he's being a gentleman and I appreciate that. The other part of my mind goes a million miles a minute (I love alliteration): what if he has ED? What if he just wants companionship and not crazy hot sex? What if this and what if that?
He wants to go to a hotel this weekend for some fun but not sex. In my book hotels are for fucking!
I'm a little confused however so far I like him.
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Post by greatcoastal on May 17, 2016 19:06:59 GMT -5
What if he just wants companionship and not crazy hot sex? What if this and what if that? He wants to go to a hotel this weekend for some fun but not sex. In my book hotels are for fucking! I'm a little confused however so far I like him. No good answers for you. All I can say is," I can sure relate to all those questions, doubts, concerns." You only get one chance to make a good first impression! Does he he know about a SM? How do you feel about bringing it up? who goes to a hotel on a second or third date, without getting laid? Would you show him a sex test? |
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Post by Deleted on May 17, 2016 19:11:31 GMT -5
I was with him until that second to last line. Personally, if I were trying to be a gentleman, I wouldn't allow myself anywhere near a woman and a hotel room. Crap bballgirl. I'm sorry. But, there is a positive side to this. You're going to go on that date next week and tell us how that went. And if you get bored, you can just try to work Homogenizer into the conversation. |
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Post by Deleted on May 17, 2016 19:13:30 GMT -5
Maybe, I'm going to have to start going on Affair Dates and try to be a gentleman and write about that.
I went on a date this weekend and took my new sweetheart to a cabin in the woods. Let's play canasta! I want to preserve your virtue. If we fuck, you're going to regret it and hate me in the morning.
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Post by deborahmanning on May 17, 2016 19:18:55 GMT -5
Oh god I knew that guy in college. The preserve-your-virtue guy. Turned out to be gay, not that there's anything wrong with that.
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Post by GeekGoddess on May 17, 2016 19:23:08 GMT -5
but then WHY a hotel? Other woman is my thinking. Why not his place? Or a late night but without overnight.
As you say though - this is probably due to our SM mindfuck - - I really don't know what is "normal" dating at all.
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Post by Deleted on May 17, 2016 19:27:20 GMT -5
That's a tough one. How odd that he already suggests going to a hotel, as you and everyone else have already said. That doesn't seem like a let's-go-slow second date activity even if you don't have sex, sharing a room seems pretty intimate. Hopefully this is just a quirk and not a red flag.
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Post by Deleted on May 17, 2016 19:36:03 GMT -5
Maybe the Hotel is 6 hours away in the mountains or at the beach?
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Post by Deleted on May 17, 2016 19:37:00 GMT -5
Oh god I knew that guy in college. The preserve-your-virtue guy. Turned out to be gay, not that there's anything wrong with that. I'm not gay. Not that there would be a problem if I was. |
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Post by greatcoastal on May 17, 2016 19:44:33 GMT -5
Okay, I don't want to get off topic at all here, so I hope this is a good question.
At our age, with our past, how SAFE do you feel being alone with someone in a hotel room?
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Post by deborahmanning on May 17, 2016 19:53:51 GMT -5
I agree, the hotel thing is just weird. I'd call it a yellow flag. Hotels do signal "possibility of sex" in this day and age.... why choose a hotel when he's already come out and said he wants to wait to get physical? I don't like the mix of messages.
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Post by Deleted on May 17, 2016 20:10:20 GMT -5
Okay, I don't want to get off topic at all here, so I hope this is a good question. At our age, with our past, how SAFE do you feel being alone with someone in a hotel room? Dude, this thread is about fucking or not fucking in hotel rooms and/or being gay -- not that that matters. No thread hijacking. KIDDING!!!! |
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Post by Deleted on May 17, 2016 20:11:16 GMT -5
I agree, the hotel thing is just weird. I'd call it a yellow flag. Hotels do signal "possibility of sex" in this day and age.... why choose a hotel when he's already come out and said he wants to wait to get physical? I don't like the mix of messages. No mixed message. The clear message is "NO FUCKING". |
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Post by greatcoastal on May 17, 2016 20:20:49 GMT -5
Okay, I don't want to get off topic at all here, so I hope this is a good question. At our age, with our past, how SAFE do you feel being alone with someone in a hotel room? Dude, this thread is about fucking or not fucking in hotel rooms and/or being gay -- not that that matters. No thread hijacking. KIDDING!!!! I could ask," did he get a hole in one, or did he put his putter in the hole? " but I'm too nice a gentleman for that! you know, no hijacking! Hahaha. |
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Post by worksforme2 on May 17, 2016 21:07:32 GMT -5
Hi bballgirl, .long time no see......I know it's different for women but, in my dating profile I say explicitly that intimacy is important for me in a relationship and that if a woman is only interested in conversation or is just looking for a companion "I'm not the guy she is looking for, we wouldn't make a good match". And in our 1st meet I make sure that we talk about how we both view intimacy. Having just left a SM I don't want to waste any time on a woman where intimacy is at the bottom of her priorities. Maybe you could come up with the female version of this.
"He wants to go to a motel for fun, but not sex". Hmmmmm...I have to wonder what his definition of fun is. I can see taking a bit of time to get to know the other person as sex is usually better when you genuinely like the other person and want to be intimate with them from an emotional standpoint. Maybe you 2 will be like the couple(Pricilla Presley an ?) in Naked Gun 2 and 1/2 with the giant condoms covering you from head to toe.
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