|
|
Post by northstarmom on Oct 28, 2017 13:48:15 GMT -5
“One of my pet peeves is that so very, very many women on POF use for their main profile picture, one that is 20-30 yrs, old. “
I agree with you. That just sets them up to meet dates who immediately are disappointed.
|
|
|
|
Post by Caris on Oct 28, 2017 15:47:19 GMT -5
“I live in a very Leftist area. I’m a conservative. I never gave political persuasions a thought when it came to dating, but in the present political climate with so much hate and mean spiritedness, its now a definite “no-no,” in finding a partner. “ Hav you considered moving to a more conservative area so you could find more people who share your values? I am a lefty in a conservative region of the country. I didn’t make friends here for 12 years until I connected with the progressive community. Before that, if I made friends they quickly left because they, too, were lefty and the area’s conservativeness wasn’t a good fit for them. When I finally found the progressives here was when I blossomed finding many activities and friends that made me happy and who appreciated me as I am. Before, in general, the people I’d met thought I was a wierdo. Differing politics reflect different values. Different values makes it hard to have close relationships. For instance, I’m an atheist Buddhist and have a gay son. It would be difficult for me to become close to someone who thought gays should be jailed and the Bible should rule the land. My partner and I are planning on retiring outside of the u.s. and are making sure that the places we consider have expats whose values are similar to ours. I moved 1700 miles from a very conservative place to a very Left leaning place. Of course, I wasn’t even thinking about politics at that time because I had too much else to be dealing with, like divorce and leaving my home etc. I chose this place because my eldest child lives here, and he is the only family I have in the US, and I needed to be close to family at that time. I love this place. I’ve never lived in a place like this before, and if I am to be single for life, this is the place to be alone. Too many qualities to even list, but it has everything I need as a place to live alone, or even as a couple. To move somewhere else based on, I might (or might not) meet a compatible man is too much of a sacrifice, so that point is moot. I don’t spend much time with my oldest because of his work, and other things, but I have some sense of security knowing he is close, and if I need help with something (like my car, moving heavy objects, repairs etc), he will be there. This past week, I’ve come to the realization that this is it for me, so I’m slowly trying to make peace with it, and figure out what I want to do with the rest of my life. |
|
|
|
Post by lakeside4003 on Oct 29, 2017 21:34:08 GMT -5
hey all, glad to have sparked a meaningful 'filter' discussion for those moving on...we all know how strongly we do or don't feel about many things - and the current political climate IS reality - so it's fair game imo - and for some a rather important one.
We all should be able to articulate how and why we feel as we do - the avoidance (or open sharing) of some of these specifics are key to any strong relationship moving forward. just sayin...
|
|
|
|
Post by northstarmom on Oct 30, 2017 6:12:20 GMT -5
“I love this place. I’ve never lived in a place like this before, and if I am to be single for life, this is the place to be alone. Too many qualities to even list, but it has everything I need as a place to live alone, or even as a couple. To move somewhere else based on, I might (or might not) meet a compatible man is too much of a sacrifice, so that point is moot. I don’t spend much time with my oldest because of his work, and other things, but I have some sense of security knowing he is close, and if I need help with something (like my car, moving heavy objects, repairs etc), he will be there. “
I was not suggesting that you move to raise the odds of meeting a man but to raise the odds of meeting compatible friends. You seem lonely. If I am reading you wrong, I apologize. I mentioned it took me 12 years to make friends where I am because I was very different than were most people here. I was very lonely even though I was working, married and raising kids in a nice city.
If what you have is working for you, then my experience obviously does not apply since you have what you need.
|
|
|
|
Post by WindSister on Oct 30, 2017 11:44:55 GMT -5
“I live in a very Leftist area. I’m a conservative. I never gave political persuasions a thought when it came to dating, but in the present political climate with so much hate and mean spiritedness, its now a definite “no-no,” in finding a partner. “ Hav you considered moving to a more conservative area so you could find more people who share your values? I am a lefty in a conservative region of the country. I didn’t make friends here for 12 years until I connected with the progressive community. Before that, if I made friends they quickly left because they, too, were lefty and the area’s conservativeness wasn’t a good fit for them. When I finally found the progressives here was when I blossomed finding many activities and friends that made me happy and who appreciated me as I am. Before, in general, the people I’d met thought I was a wierdo. Differing politics reflect different values. Different values makes it hard to have close relationships. For instance, I’m an atheist Buddhist and have a gay son. It would be difficult for me to become close to someone who thought gays should be jailed and the Bible should rule the land. My partner and I are planning on retiring outside of the u.s. and are making sure that the places we consider have expats whose values are similar to ours. I moved 1700 miles from a very conservative place to a very Left leaning place. Of course, I wasn’t even thinking about politics at that time because I had too much else to be dealing with, like divorce and leaving my home etc. I chose this place because my eldest child lives here, and he is the only family I have in the US, and I needed to be close to family at that time. I love this place. I’ve never lived in a place like this before, and if I am to be single for life, this is the place to be alone. Too many qualities to even list, but it has everything I need as a place to live alone, or even as a couple. To move somewhere else based on, I might (or might not) meet a compatible man is too much of a sacrifice, so that point is moot. I don’t spend much time with my oldest because of his work, and other things, but I have some sense of security knowing he is close, and if I need help with something (like my car, moving heavy objects, repairs etc), he will be there. This past week, I’ve come to the realization that this is it for me, so I’m slowly trying to make peace with it, and figure out what I want to do with the rest of my life. Glad to hear you like where you live.  |
|
