Online dating tips

Phew. I guess I didn't think so much when I dated. I just went out there and....dated. I met many men. Don't regret a single one even if we didn't hit it off.

I say attitude is everything. This process can suck or be fascinating. Up to you.

"Slipping a mickey finn - oh my word I would never have dreamt... "

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Allow me to give you a different perspective on this. You contradict yourself in many ways in your statement.  A man with friends and hobbies, a man who goes fishing.Lets look at the positive side.
Active, responsible, leader, fun and thrill seeking,  risk taking,knowledgeable, independent, brave, outgoing, giving, sharing, communicates with others, in touch with his spirituality, loves nature, a good steward off his time and money, a role model for a young man. That's what I see when there's a picture of a man holding a big dead fish. 
A man who is going to fix your sink, repair his own boat, build his own fishing lures, pack and get ready for weekend trips, adventure into the unknown, live in wet soggy, rainy conditions, make his own meals, clean his own tools and laundry, get his hands and clothes dirty often and not care what others think about him because he is in touch with his own true self and knows what pleases him. He does what it takes to find peace and happiness outside of what may be a fucked up disappointing life.

What he is not is someone who sits in a recliner day after day watching football games and expects his wife to do everything.

For all you know he' wears a suit and tie most of the day at his accountant job, or he's a pastor. A man who raised many children. The same man who can go to the mall with you and pick out a nice dress for your grandchild.

The same man who goes to the shelter for the homeless and works in the kitchen because he's not afraid to hold a big dead fish. Instead he volunteers to help others.

The same man who when he's out fishing picks up other peoples trash, and rescues fallen injured wildlife.

I know dozens of men who fit this category, in my small isolated world.

Please help your self and open your mind more towards the mark and responsibilities of a man.

“ A man with friends and hobbies, a man who goes fishing.Lets look at the positive side.
Active, responsible, leader, fun and thrill seeking, risk taking,knowledgeable, independent, brave, outgoing, giving, sharing, communicates with others, in touch with his spirituality, loves nature, a good steward off his time and money, a role model for a young man. That's what I see when there's a picture of a man holding a big dead fish.
A man who is going to fix your sink, repair his own boat, build his own fishing lures, pack and get ready for weekend trips, adventure into the unknown, live in wet soggy, rainy conditions, make his own meals, clean his own tools and laundry, get his hands and clothes dirty often and not care what others think about him because he is in touch with his own true self and knows what pleases him. He does what it takes to find peace and happiness outside of what may be a fucked up disappointing life.”

Everyone including me has a right to the type of person they want for friendships or romance. I do not want the kind of man you describe. My father used to fish. He’d sneak off alone with friends early in the morning on holidays and weekends abandoning his kids who had looked forward to being with him. Indeed, my brother got involved in scouts to find the role model my dad never was for him. Dad would return late at night after we were in bed.

I also feel for the suffering fish feel when they are caught and writhe on the hook and suffocate in the air. I also feel for the work that drowns.

My father took pride in fixing things around the house. That also included adding rooms that noone wanted or used. I remember waking up to the sound of hammer banging at 7 am outside my bedroom door. My father was loudly cursing about, “goddam lazy pigs.” I had flown 3,000 miles west to east from grad school the day before. It was 4 am by my internal clock. I don’t know what he decided to fix or destroy that morning. I just know it was then I decided I would rather be alone for Christmas than go home.

I deliberately married a man who wasn’t handy and didn’t like fishing. I never regretted that aspect of his personality. I have been linvolved 4 year’s post sm with another man who doesn’t fix things or fish.

Today we get t up and found a plumbing leak. It will probably cost a lot to repair it. He will pay. I am glad he is who he is.

I am turned off by pictures of men holding dead animals. I do not want a risk taking, handy macho man with lots of guy friends whom he hangs out with doing guy things with. I am very happy with the guy I have who takes trips with me in which we stay in hotels not a camper or camp ground. He has friends — men and women -that he does political activities with., writes with, acts with,,enjoys parties with and has a few drinks with or watches a game with.

I am sure there are women who are attracted to men on line who hold big fish. I’d prefer a picture of a man with a nice smile who is on stage or smiling in an interesting looking large city.

Curious what type of pictures of men on dating sites other women here find appealing. Are any attracted dto men holding big fish? I’ve noticed that even my outdoorsy women friends say they don’t like the men holding big fish pictures. There’s something about seeing a large dead animal when one is seeking romance that is a turnoff. I imagine that for women into the outdoors, a picture of a man with dog and with mountains or a lake behind them would be appealing.

You responded as I expected. You are taking personally the type of man I choose to be romantically involved with. Obviously, while you have some fine qualities, I would not choose a man like you for romance. Fortunately, there are many women that you fit their longings. I hate cooking. Left to my own devices for dinner, I happily eat tuna out of a can and a bag of veggies. (Yes I know the tuna was caught by someone and therefore the tuna suffered. Still, I didn’t catch it and my guy didn’t either. By my eating it, its suffering didn’t go to waste.) I am sure I am not the type of woman you’d choose to date, and that’s ok wit h me. There’s somebody for everyone.

I have a coworker whom I joke with that we would never fight over a man because we are attracted to the type that the other avoids. She is happy with her handy guy with the military haircut. I love my long haired, earring wearing guy who acts, writes and can’t fix a thing.

Back to the men holding dead fish pictures: what do other women here think of them? I think that if a man wants to illustrate his being handy, spiritual, in touch with nature, independent, a role model for boys, another type of picture would be a better choice. But let’s hear from other women. What do you like and dislike in dating site pictures?

Lets here from the women, lets here from the women, ...sounds like my controlling wife, who wants to reverse things? I already read from the woman on this very sight that want a man to fix their sink, and I recall a fine example of a woman who is very in touch with her femininity who's picture of herself on here was in a rain coat and holding a fish.

You pick out the parts of what I say that suit you and you ignore the rest, much like my controlling wife. That's your prerogative. Why you can't see past the fish in a picture and view the person is up to you. If I where to post pictures of myself on a dating sight, there's pictures of me in my tux. when I go ball room dancing. Meanwhile it's the same person who's hands have been in some pretty gross places. Today I am going to be on a roof, wearing old jeans boots, and a old t-shirt. I'll be mixing concrete and have a chisel,trowel,hammer,and caulking gun in my hands helping a friend save money. A friend who helps me mentally, and spiritually with my divorce. Not something I have pictures of.

I can imagine what the ladies who live around my friends house think of me working on his roof with him. Just some paid helper. Instead I am the millionaire next door that they will never know about.  The guy who whore a lab coat, suit and tie, and had my hands near their face , moving their hair,as I dispensed their prescription eye wear that I custom made for them in the lab. My home is bigger or just as nice as theirs. Yet I am on a roof overlooking the Atlantic ocean having time with a friend enjoying my life.

What I am saying is that people can wear many hats in their every day life.

“Lets here from the women, lets here from the women, ...sounds like my controlling wife, who wants to reverse things? I already read from the woman on this very sight that want a man to fix their sink, and I recall a fine example of a woman who is very in touch with her femininity who's picture of herself on here was in a rain coat and holding a fish.”

I don’t know why you take this so personally and seem so mad about this. I find it a turnoff when men pose on dating sites holding big fish. So what? Obviously we are not trying to date each other. I probably am not the type of woman you are attracted to. Doesn’t bother me. To each his/her own.

My point about the big fish pictures is that I think some — not all men — may not realize that at least some women who might otherwise be attracted to those men may not due to the picture. Given that many men here have said it’s very hard for them to get women on dating sites to respond, it seems at least some men might appreciate women’s viewpoints on this so the men can portray themselves in the best way to attract women.

The lack of allure of men holding big fish has been a joke among my women friends including women who camp. Women have commented, “is that supposed to be a hint about the size of his dick?”

Most women don’t like to fish. Unless one only want to date women who do (and if that’s what’s important for you, go for it! No judgment from me. To each his own.), it probably is a good idea to rethink whether that is how you want to represent yourself in a dating site to attract women partners. At least some might want to consider whether they want that as their only or cover picture.

An analogy might be a woman’s using as her main photo one of her wearing a full length tutu. Since relatively few men love ballet, her picture might be a turnoff to many men. She might think she’s portraying feminine beauty. Men might think that with her, they’d be sentenced to long nights in uncomfortable seats watching something boring.

When I was on online dating sites, I researched what kind of picture to post to attract men. I learned that men like shots that show one’s whole body because most men want to know what the woman’s figure looks like. So, I made sure that one of my pictures was a head to toe clothed shot of me.