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Post by shamwow on Oct 4, 2017 11:36:27 GMT -5
Hey all, ballofconfusion and I are working on a side project that will become apparent in the next few months, and need your help. I'm trying to assemble an all-inclusive list of "why chasing". Basically, every possible reason we have used to explain away why our partner won't have sex with us. For example: - I am unattractive - I want sex too early in the evening - I want sex too late in the evening - My partner has a medical condition (some specific examples here would be awesome) that prevents sex Hell, you guys get the picture. We all live(d) this shit every day for months / years on end. Again, thanks for your help! Shammy |
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Post by northstarmom on Oct 4, 2017 11:45:55 GMT -5
I smell bad
I'm doing something that makes him angry
I'm too loose
He is repulsed by my c section scar
He is a secret porn addict
He is secretly gay
Interestingly, the possibility of his having fallen out of love with me never crossed my mind.
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Post by ironhamster on Oct 4, 2017 12:13:02 GMT -5
I'm tired.
You never listen to me.
The kids/neighbors/guests will hear.
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Post by shamwow on Oct 4, 2017 12:13:48 GMT -5
I smell bad I'm doing something that makes him angry I'm too loose He is repulsed by my c section scar He is a secret porn addict He is secretly gay Interestingly, the possibility of his having fallen out of love with me never crossed my mind. Great input! Thanks! Now that you mention it, the possibility of her truly falling out of love with me never actually crossed my mind...even after she hadn't said "I love you" to me unprompted for 13 years. Interesting blind spot, isn't it? |
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Post by hopingforachange on Oct 4, 2017 12:14:37 GMT -5
I'm horrible in bed.
I'm repulsive
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Post by ironhamster on Oct 4, 2017 12:16:47 GMT -5
Oh, how could I forget these simple unilateral declarations: I don't like it/ I don't want to.
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Deleted Member
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Post by Deleted on Oct 4, 2017 12:22:05 GMT -5
I´m tired.
I´m with a headache.
I´m not in mood.
He don´t come to bed at the same time even when asked to.
He have been watching porn.
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Post by DryCreek on Oct 4, 2017 12:23:25 GMT -5
"W feels awkward about her sexuality." I can help her overcome that hurdle, then she'll be more comfortable with exploring / expressing / sharing it with me.
"W doesn't trust me enough yet to be that vulnerable and soul-baring." I need to prove she can trust me with her darkest secrets.
I don't turn her on because I don't look like Arnie or Mel.
Something I did turned her off. Do I smell? Bad breath? Did I neglect one of her honey-dos, or dare to have an opposing opinion?
Kid stresses. One of the kids pissed her off today.
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Post by ironhamster on Oct 4, 2017 12:25:28 GMT -5
I'm sick/ I have a headache/ I'm on my period.
I have to get up early.
I want to watch this show.
You work too much.
We need a bigger house.
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Post by ironhamster on Oct 4, 2017 12:27:46 GMT -5
Oh, yes, the feeling awkward about her sexuality was a huge issue our first few years of marriage, which was odd since before the wedding she was talking about how she was ready to start having sex.
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Post by shamwow on Oct 4, 2017 12:34:42 GMT -5
"W feels awkward about her sexuality." I can help her overcome that hurdle, then she'll be more comfortable with exploring / expressing / sharing it with me. "W doesn't trust me enough yet to be that vulnerable and soul-baring." I need to prove she can trust me with her darkest secrets. I don't turn her on because I don't look like Arnie or Mel. Something I did turned her off. Do I smell? Bad breath? Did I neglect one of her honey-dos, or dare to have an opposing opinion? Kid stresses. One of the kids pissed her off today. That last one is particularly interesting. For most human beings, getting laid is a huge stress reliever. |
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Post by ironhamster on Oct 4, 2017 12:40:36 GMT -5
Possibly the only legitimate one, although there were a ton of other intimate types of interaction that she refused to explore: I broke my tail bone.
Refusal to accept oral: I don't like it/ I don't want to taste myself.
Refusal to give oral: I don't like it.
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Post by shamwow on Oct 4, 2017 13:23:31 GMT -5
Possibly the only legitimate one, although there were a ton of other intimate types of interaction that she refused to explore: I broke my tail bone. Refusal to accept oral: I don't like it/ I don't want to taste myself. Refusal to give oral: I don't like it. Yeah, medical issues are tricky. Some like that are totally legitimate. Obviously, with a broken tailbone that's going to be a problem. Others are much more subjective (sex is painful). This is much more suspicious if it happens immediately after "I do" (as did with mine). It is even more suspicious if it is never formally diagnosed and treated. I think the most tricky medical issues are things like back pain. You'll see it in regular life as well as the sex life. It also may be chronic. |
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Post by bballgirl on Oct 4, 2017 13:37:48 GMT -5
Addicted to porn - lazy and selfish
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Post by Isabellas39 on Oct 4, 2017 13:40:11 GMT -5
I have ED and I feel like less than a man if I use only my mouth and hands, so I will use nothing.
Viagra and other type pills give me a headache, so that's not an option.
He must not be attracted to me anymore because of my weight.
He must have gotten turned off because we fought so much during the start of our marriage.
He must have lost attraction for me because he was in the delivery room, and all this shit started after I had my son.
I must truly suck in bed.
I must not deserve love that includes great sex for some unknown reason, maybe I am not pretty enough..
I think that's all the why's I've heard or thought of.
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