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Post by brian on Oct 4, 2017 20:18:30 GMT -5
This topic has been discussed before both on this forum and EP. In fact, I think I started threads on both forums. Might want to search for "Top Ten Reasons..."
The kids might hear
The neighbors might hear (she doesn't make a sound and tells me that if I make any noise it's a turn-off, so who is going to hear that?)
It might disturb the dog
I don't do mornings
...or daytime, evenings, the day before a work trip (tired/stressed from preparations), the day she returns from a work trip (tired)
I don't do oral, or manual, or even look at your dick because it's all gross
Just too many to enumerate them all
She added a new on this week though after visiting her obgyn. Apparently she has low hormone levels, but the obgyn wants her to lose weight before prescribing. Anybody want to guess how quickly the weight will come off???
Here's a hint. A quote from a text she sent me less than an hour ago:
"I just ate a bunch of food - all you can eat small plates"
Yeah. That's going to take...years.
Some mentioned shower/bath before/after... yeah, mine does that too. Sex is gross, and after it's over, she must get cleaned up and I have to wash at least my hands, etc, etc. i just want to lie there naked and enjoy the afterglow, but there isn't any afterglow for her.
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Post by tirefire on Oct 4, 2017 21:05:22 GMT -5
I’ve chased a lot of whys in my time, but 2 are etched in my brain: #1 - the baby factory is closed. I was the happiest man alive from the time we hooked up in college until our second daughter was born. I think before we left the hospital, W decided there will be no more chilluns, nevermind there would be no male heir to carry on the padgemi name. I am the only male great grandson of pepaw padgemi. But that’s a trivial detail compared to the pivotal moment I didn’t realize just occurred. “From a certain point of view,” this is the moment Darth Starfish murdered and betrayed the W I knew and loved. #2 - medical issue: tetched in the head Bottom line: W and me starfishin’ in the dark +/- once monthly right up until the very week I woke up in the looney bin in 2011. I haven’t so much as seen her nekkid since. You know, I have to upvote the closed baby factory. I think something clicked off for my wife after child #1. Sex for child #2 was just a chore to accomplish a goal. |
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Post by Deleted on Oct 4, 2017 21:48:35 GMT -5
He has chronic back pain, various other illnesses, and depression.
He's decided it's time for us to be old now.
He's still mad at me about something I did years ago (even though I stopped doing it, and made real improvements in that area.)
I'm getting older, fatter, and less attractive.
I'm not quite up to his standards of personal grooming.
He loves our pets so much, he's such a devoted "dad," that I come second to the pets now.
We've been together long enough so that I'm no longer interesting to him.
I'm expecting too much.
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Post by GeekGoddess on Oct 4, 2017 22:40:59 GMT -5
ED. He got embarrassed & shamed about it.
Avid porn user.
The ED pills scared him.
Diabetes (Type 2) - this turned out to have been the cause of the ED.
He’s tired.
He wants to finish his show.
I’m fat.
I’m not attractive anymore.
I got too old for him.
Then....the boom dropped: prostate cancer, removal of same, radiation of the area.
But I still don’t know WHY.
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Post by shamwow on Oct 4, 2017 23:10:10 GMT -5
ED. He got embarrassed & shamed about it. Avid porn user. The ED pills scared him. Diabetes (Type 2) - this turned out to have been the cause of the ED. He’s tired. He wants to finish his show. I’m fat. I’m not attractive anymore. I got too old for him. Then....the boom dropped: prostate cancer, removal of same, radiation of the area. But I still don’t know WHY. He actully said you were fat and that you were unattractive? |
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Post by darktippedrose on Oct 5, 2017 0:41:48 GMT -5
why's or lack thereof:
he started rejecting me around 2 weeks of marriage but it didn't get bad until 24/25
and at first I was like "I'm too young for this to be happening". I was way more into it than he was.
after a while I thought there was something wrong with me
i thought no woman complains of being in a sexless marriage
i thought there was something wrong with me
i was depressed. ate too much. etc.
some of his excuses/reasons
i'm old
i'm loose (Has told me that my privates are like a wizard's sleeve - a line that he got from Borat)
no one likes to eat the same thing everyday
too old to think about sex
only American woman think about sex likes this (he's American and sometimes likes to think he isn't)
unnatural for mothers to think like this
its a natural part of aging
its not normal for people to want to have sex with each other after so many year
i take too long to get wet
too dry
too wet
too much foreplay
I can't get wet like black women
I can't (basically comparing me to women of other ethnic groups)
no white enough to taste sweet for oral sex
(I'm half white and half arab, so I get double the insults)
I take too long to have an orgasm
some things are for wives, other things are for side bitches
i'm sure the list goes on and on if I had more time.
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Post by rejected101 on Oct 5, 2017 3:28:15 GMT -5
If it were just a list of excuses that my W has used...
Sorry Mr I don’t feel like it
1) I’m too tired
2) We haven’t got time
3) But you have to get up in the morning
4) I’ve not long had a bath/shower
5) I’m not clean
6) Wait until Sunday/Monday or whatever day
7) I’m too full from dinner
8) I’ve got a headache
9) I’m just doing this
10) I’m nearly on my period
11) I’m on my period
12) I’ve only just finished my period
13) I’m a bit too drunk
14) I’m too stressed and had a crap day
15) Just because you’re in the mood doesn’t mean I am
16) I’ve just got a low sex drive
17) I thought you married me for who I am
The answer in my mind to all these excuses
1) I didn’t just ask you to run a marathon in the rain
2) 30 minutes! We haven’t had 30 minutes in the last month?
3) You’re seriously trying to make out that you have my best interests at heart? What about the shit quality of sleep I will now have as I lay wondering if I am completely undesirable.
4) Perfect! I can literally run my tongue all over your body then
5) Have a quick shower then!
6) I’ve been waiting 35 days already
7) let’s give it an hour then because you won’t be full for the next 3 hours
8) But you haven’t even looked in the direction of a headache tablet all day
9) Stop doing that and have sex then
10) Let’s get it on then before you come on
11) fair play
12) Perfect! What’s the problem then
13) Fucking great!
14) Let’s unwind together then and get lost in the moment for an hour
15) I’ve had sex with you when I wasn’t in the mood but you were because, I enjoy pleasing you.
16) How is it that you masturbate and watch porn then?
17) but did you marry me for who I am?
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Post by tirefire on Oct 5, 2017 4:32:28 GMT -5
why's or lack thereof: he started rejecting me around 2 weeks of marriage but it didn't get bad until 24/25 and at first I was like "I'm too young for this to be happening". I was way more into it than he was. after a while I thought there was something wrong with me i thought no woman complains of being in a sexless marriage i thought there was something wrong with me i was depressed. ate too much. etc. some of his excuses/reasons i'm old i'm loose (Has told me that my privates are like a wizard's sleeve - a line that he got from Borat) no one likes to eat the same thing everyday too old to think about sex only American woman think about sex likes this (he's American and sometimes likes to think he isn't) unnatural for mothers to think like this its a natural part of aging its not normal for people to want to have sex with each other after so many year i take too long to get wet too dry too wet too much foreplay I can't get wet like black women I can't (basically comparing me to women of other ethnic groups) no white enough to taste sweet for oral sex (I'm half white and half arab, so I get double the insults) I take too long to have an orgasm some things are for wives, other things are for side bitches i'm sure the list goes on and on if I had more time. This guy is a real piece of work. That is the most disgusting list of insults. He is an abusive dick. |
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Post by ironhamster on Oct 5, 2017 6:34:29 GMT -5
@smartkat, "[... mad at something you did long ago.]"
OMFG! I got that crap a lot. I can't believe I missed it. Shortcomings for something YEARS past, like upsetting the kids by not turning off the news, has been used on me more times than I can possibly count. The LAST time it was used, I literally stood up on the bed and yelled at her that the ONLY reason she was bringing that up is because she did not want to have sex with me. She tried to quiet me down, lest the kids hear, but I made adamantly clear that the kids would hear.
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Post by neonspace on Oct 5, 2017 6:59:39 GMT -5
What chore did I not do or do incorrectly?
is it my breath?
Did I not get into bed early enough?
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Post by brian on Oct 5, 2017 7:37:10 GMT -5
What chore did I not do or do incorrectly? is it my breath? Did I not get into bed early enough? or... did I not get into bed the right way? Too aggressive? Too passive? Wrong pajamas/shorts/boxers? Were the lights left on? Why would I be so cruel as to move the dog from the center of the bed? This truly is endless... It's all bout how many EXCUSES can you give someone to not have to do something when that person is at least partially bound by a marital "contract" and can't simply leave on a whim. |
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Post by shamwow on Oct 5, 2017 8:21:51 GMT -5
why's or lack thereof: he started rejecting me around 2 weeks of marriage but it didn't get bad until 24/25 and at first I was like "I'm too young for this to be happening". I was way more into it than he was. after a while I thought there was something wrong with me i thought no woman complains of being in a sexless marriage i thought there was something wrong with me i was depressed. ate too much. etc. some of his excuses/reasons i'm old i'm loose (Has told me that my privates are like a wizard's sleeve - a line that he got from Borat) no one likes to eat the same thing everyday too old to think about sex only American woman think about sex likes this (he's American and sometimes likes to think he isn't) unnatural for mothers to think like this its a natural part of aging its not normal for people to want to have sex with each other after so many year i take too long to get wet too dry too wet too much foreplay I can't get wet like black women I can't (basically comparing me to women of other ethnic groups) no white enough to taste sweet for oral sex (I'm half white and half arab, so I get double the insults) I take too long to have an orgasm some things are for wives, other things are for side bitches i'm sure the list goes on and on if I had more time. This guy is a real piece of work. That is the most disgusting list of insults. He is an abusive dick. God, I second that. He is a real douchebag. |
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Post by northstarmom on Oct 5, 2017 8:34:47 GMT -5
"She tried to quiet me down, lest the kids hear, but I made adamantly clear that the kids would hear."
Iron hamster, having been in a sm, I empathize with your frustration. At the same time, having grown up amid angry parents in a sm. I overheard those kind of screaming battles when I was a child. Your behavior is hurting your kids. It even may be teaching then that a SM and such battles are normal.
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Post by GeekGoddess on Oct 5, 2017 8:38:10 GMT -5
ED. He got embarrassed & shamed about it. Avid porn user. The ED pills scared him. Diabetes (Type 2) - this turned out to have been the cause of the ED. He’s tired. He wants to finish his show. I’m fat. I’m not attractive anymore. I got too old for him. Then....the boom dropped: prostate cancer, removal of same, radiation of the area. But I still don’t know WHY. He actully said you were fat and that you were unattractive? So many phases. When I got RA, I got very heavy. I felt like shit and couldn't move my body. My brain still wanted sexual activity but my body was not able (a lot of the time, I couldn't move my head to see the clock without agonizing pain). It took a year to diagnose. It took another year or so to treat at the level that got it under control. It took a while more to really move well and I joined weight watchers. On a trip to Chicago, we were walking through a park with his two brothers and their wives. One SIL and me were ahead of others and we stopped at a bench to let them catch up. I had lost between 35-40 pounds at that time. I wasn't "fit" but I was smaller. Doris (the SIL) sat on a bench. Two stone ends and it had slats of wood for the seat. One slat was missing. I hadn't sat on it yet when H walked up. He absolutely did make a joke that I must have sat on the bench and broken the missing one. After he walked off, I (using my mastery of PA skills) admitted to Doris that I was smaller right now than I had been in over 4 or 5 years. Did I confront him? No. This is only one shining example of "joking but not really" type of comments that he used to convey that I was no longer a woman whose body was attractive. That kind of bomb was not, however, uncommon. He never said: you're fat. He certainly hinted at my weight and my body in general not being a supermodel, not being appealing. "I got too old" was also only MY interpretation from other comments made. He never SAID it exactly. Because saying anything clearly indicates actual communication and that had broken down long before the physical act of sex went away. |
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Post by northstarmom on Oct 5, 2017 8:42:24 GMT -5
Why I am terrified for darktipped rose: link to article about how Las Vegas shooter used to verbally abuse his girlfriend including in public: www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/stephen-paddock-vegas-shooting-gunman-abusing-girlfriend-public-a7981866.html?ampOn EP, Dark Tipped Rose posted that her husband has been on an FBI watch list. He also expressed support for Muslim terrorists and expressed hate for his children (by an ex wife) who are of a different religion. He also has blamed DarktippedRose and their kids for his lack of religious fervor. And he has mysterious visitors and goes away on mysterious trips. He is a grave danger to her, his kids and society in general. The problem is far worse than a SM. |
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