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Post by Rhapsodee on Sept 3, 2016 1:53:03 GMT -5
l Solo trips are so much more fun. I'm planning my next one for October. Maybe I'll go east in the spring. If not too personal, where are you going?
In October probably a short desert trip to Scottsdale to do the art walk. then up to Sedona for a weekend yoga camp, then wonder down to Joshua Tree and hike. Then back home. In the spring I'd like to start in NYC (daughter lives there) then wonder west to Philly (one of the places I've always wanted to visit) and explore it for a few days. Then to Niagara Falls and explore upstate New York. Maybe go into Canada. I still have to plan it. |
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Post by solodriver on Sept 3, 2016 3:36:15 GMT -5
If not too personal, where are you going?
In October probably a short desert trip to Scottsdale to do the art walk. then up to Sedona for a weekend yoga camp, then wonder down to Joshua Tree and hike. Then back home. In the spring I'd like to start in NYC (daughter lives there) then wonder west to Philly (one of the places I've always wanted to visit) and explore it for a few days. Then to Niagara Falls and explore upstate New York. Maybe go into Canada. I still have to plan it. Wow,
That sounds like a lot of fun. I hope you enjoy yourself and have some wonderful stories you can tell when you are done and also share how it has helped you deal with your SM/H Have a blast!
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Post by lonelygirl on Sept 13, 2016 14:17:53 GMT -5
Hi all! I'm new here and I'm happy to have a place to share devastating statements. I've been married to my husband for 15 years but we were best friends 13 years prior to that. He pursued me until one day when I finally realized what I could have and fell for him. We began dating and for me things were great but by the time I came around to liking him he had let go of the idea of ever being together and his feelings for me left. He wasn't man enough to tell me he needed more time to re-develop his marital feelings for me and decided to marry me anyway even though he didn't look at me intimately (not to risk losing what he always wanted; his words) We decided to wait until we were married to consummate it which I found out later he was relieved about because he didn't look at me "that" way. I picked out a special lingerie for our wedding night and I was so excited to finally be able to share myself with him. Since he didn't see me as a "wife" and more of the sweet girl next door he looked at me and said that me wearing the lingerie "repulsed him" It made me look like a girl from a porno and I was better than that. He then said we didn't have to have sex on our wedding night but I told him how important it was to me so he gave in. As you can imagine it did not go well.
I have never been passionately pursued in all 15 years. When I made moves on him during our honeymoon he would say he wasn't in the mood but my "playing around" put him in the mood. When he would perform oral on me he said he wasn't used to my "scent" (I had showered) and he physically would gag. Of course things are much better now when we are together but those are my honeymoon memories I have to "celebrate" every year on our anniversary. He has come around and really tries to treat me right. He is now sweet, he compliments me, he works and we have a great friendship but we have had sex twice in the last 2 years. You might as well call us roommates. He does have a condition called Klinefelters syndrome that has drastically lowered his testosterone production which gives him no drive. He can take prescription meds like Androderm to help but he says he risks being "angrier" while on them and is afraid of the risk.
I have never had the passion-filled, clothing falling, backs against the wall, crazy-in-bed sex that I have craved for my entire marriage and it breaks my heart. On the nights we do, we both shower and its basically planned out. We have a adult son (I had him before we got married from a previous relationship) who does not live at home so its just us with the freedom to do what we want and I can't get him to chase me to save my life. He likes to goofily touch my nip through my shirt or tell the dog, "look at momma! Isn't she pretty? Doesn't she have a cute butt?" and he calls me lover which drives me CRAZY because you have to be one to be named one! I'm to the point that unless he's willing to finish the job right then, then don't touch the goods. LOL
Thanks for the vent. Its nice knowing I'm not alone in this.
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Post by becca on Sept 13, 2016 14:42:52 GMT -5
I have never had the passion-filled, clothing falling, backs against the wall, crazy-in-bed sex that I have craved for my entire marriage and it breaks my heart. On the nights we do, we both shower and its basically planned out. We have a adult son (I had him before we got married from a previous relationship) who does not live at home so its just us with the freedom to do what we want and I can't get him to chase me to save my life. He likes to goofily touch my nip through my shirt or tell the dog, "look at momma! Isn't she pretty? Doesn't she have a cute butt?" and he calls me lover which drives me CRAZY because you have to be one to be named one! I'm to the point that unless he's willing to finish the job right then, then don't touch the goods. LOL Thanks for the vent. Its nice knowing I'm not alone in this. You are most definitely NOT alone, Lonelygirl. So many of us on here can relate. Once upon a time I had the "back against the wall, crazy-in-bed sex" but it is such a distant memory now I can barely recall it. I too live with a talker. For me, it is especially when other people are around. The arm goes around me, the flirty comments start. There was a time it was like crumbs for me and I would gobble them up. Now they just make me angry because it isn't real. You can vent here any time and you are not alone, my friend. |
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Post by unmatched on Sept 13, 2016 19:38:31 GMT -5
lonelygirl thanks for the post and welcome. I have to say I read your first paragraph and all that stuff he said and I think he is completely full of shit. I think he is somebody with major issues about sex who spun you a tale to try and make it somehow your fault. And if having sex twice in 2 years is him coming around and really trying to treat you right then I am a little scared to think what life must have been like before. All that stuff in your last paragraph? It is like you are his toy or his property or something. You are absolutely right - you are roommates and you deserve so much better!!!
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Post by jim44444 on Sept 13, 2016 20:01:42 GMT -5
If not too personal, where are you going?
In October probably a short desert trip to Scottsdale to do the art walk. then up to Sedona for a weekend yoga camp, then wonder down to Joshua Tree and hike. Then back home. In the spring I'd like to start in NYC (daughter lives there) then wonder west to Philly (one of the places I've always wanted to visit) and explore it for a few days. Then to Niagara Falls and explore upstate New York. Maybe go into Canada. I still have to plan it. , there are a lot of great hiking trails in Sedona. Anything from short two hour easy trips to all day butt kickers. The Airport Trail looks easy but it can be downright scary. No need to drive to Joshua Tree to hike. Have fun. |
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Post by Deleted on Sept 13, 2016 20:36:16 GMT -5
Hi lonelygirl, glad you can join us here in hell. Pull up a stick and have some marshmallows. Your husband is either clueless or just plain cruel. Only a complete ass would ever tell his wife she is repulsive. And yes he meant you, not the lingerie, because you were emotionally invested in that nightie. Or maybe he doesn't know what emotional investment is. Even a friend, which he supposedly is, would never do that.
You have choices what to do but if it were me he'd have been signing a separation agreement as soon as we got back from the honeymoon.
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Post by DryCreek on Sept 13, 2016 22:04:44 GMT -5
I have never been passionately pursued in all 15 years. This. <deep sigh> Of all the problems we could have had, I never imagined this one... |
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Post by deleted on Sept 13, 2016 22:23:52 GMT -5
Hi lonelygirl, glad you can join us here in hell. Pull up a stick and have some marshmallows. Your husband is either clueless or just plain cruel. He could also be gay. I know women who have been in this situation who have been married to guys who are gay. |
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