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Post by bballgirl on Mar 31, 2017 7:32:20 GMT -5
I'm happy for you that you have a verdict!
Soon this will be all behind you.
Try not to stress over his communication with you.
Frankly my only response to him would be - that his attorney can talk to your attorney or he can go fuck himself.
Again so happy for you! Now you can enjoy the rest of your life!!
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Post by greatcoastal on Mar 31, 2017 7:34:14 GMT -5
Such "information" will put a grin on your attorneys face. More evidence of your ex's criminal behavior. The judge's face will frown even harder at your ex.
I picture your ex as a man in a small boat in fresh water who is dying of thirst, so he pulls the drain plug in the boat, tosses it in the water to get a drink!!
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Post by worksforme2 on Mar 31, 2017 7:55:51 GMT -5
One thing most judges will not countenance is an attitude of arrogance. I was watching a case once with the main player being tried for selling bootleg whiskey. It was his 3rd or 4th charge. He was convicted and the judge ordered a $1500 dollar fine. The defendant smiled and said "I got that in this pocket right here". The judge's demeanor quickly changed and he added..."and 30 days in jail. Let's see you pull that out of one of those pockets".
With any luck your judge will be losing patience with your stbx come the next hearing.
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Post by tamara68 on Mar 31, 2017 8:12:51 GMT -5
Stbx has sent an other e-mail. He claims he can't provide for himself, so I just have to pay for him according to him. He is going to demand more money via the judge. We'll see. I am nervous about it. Just forward that email to your lawyer. Just because that's what he wants means absolutely nothing. Yes, I forwarded it. Problem is that this situation is very unique. Since we have lived in Belgium for less than 5 years, stbx is officially not entitled to get money from social services. So he is in an emergency situation. He also claims he is not able to work. However he didn't do anything (as far as I know) to get money because of that. Personally I think that he will get help if he makes clear that he is in need. But I have the impression that so far, he only has tried using me as source of money. It is possible that because of his difficult situation the judge will have mercy on him and make me pay more. I just don't know what to expect. I am going to take a gamble and count on it that I won't have to pay a lot more. |
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Post by tamara68 on Mar 31, 2017 8:24:00 GMT -5
He is awful. I believe the judge has probably "seen it all" though & hopefully sees right through his tactics. On the accounts still in your name, if he won't agree to transfer into his name, I would try just canceling & turning off services (I assume this is utilities or satellite service or whatnot). When he has to go without electricity for a day, he'll be calling to get it turned on & then he will be stuck with whatever setup fees apply. I'm not sure what a lawyer would say about that, but I would ask about it. No way should you still have your name on service for his care & feeding! Still - I know that the "appeal! Appeal!" Approach is not helping your state of mind. Try not to let it worry you too much. Hang in there, with patience, knowing that he is NOT smarter than the courts. He will get his come-uppance when the rulings are done. I have discussed this with my lawyer. According to him I don't have to do anything about the accounts, but that doesn't feel right. |
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Post by tamara68 on Mar 31, 2017 8:35:45 GMT -5
I'm happy for you that you have a verdict! Soon this will be all behind you. Try not to stress over his communication with you. Frankly my only response to him would be - that his attorney can talk to your attorney or he can go fuck himself. Again so happy for you! Now you can enjoy the rest of your life!! I am trying to stay calm, but not succeeding when I see his name in my mailbox. And he is still sending me his bills. It probably is going to take many months till everything is definitely settled. |
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Post by tamara68 on Mar 31, 2017 8:38:34 GMT -5
One thing most judges will not countenance is an attitude of arrogance. I was watching a case once with the main player being tried for selling bootleg whiskey. It was his 3rd or 4th charge. He was convicted and the judge ordered a $1500 dollar fine. The defendant smiled and said "I got that in this pocket right here". The judge's demeanor quickly changed and he added..."and 30 days in jail. Let's see you pull that out of one of those pockets". With any luck your judge will be losing patience with your stbx come the next hearing. There is a reasonable chance of that. So far I think the judge found my stbx pretty annoying even though he kept his arrogance to a minimum. |
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Post by tamara68 on Mar 31, 2017 8:39:49 GMT -5
Such "information" will put a grin on your attorneys face. More evidence of your ex's criminal behavior. The judge's face will frown even harder at your ex. I picture your ex as a man in a small boat in fresh water who is dying of thirst, so he pulls the drain plug in the boat, tosses it in the water to get a drink!! He definitely is been making things harder for himself. I find it annoying and sad that he is being so stupid. |
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Post by greatcoastal on Mar 31, 2017 8:46:22 GMT -5
This is of interest to me. My situation might be relevant. My attorney is advising I get part time work, minimum wage, something,... so my stbx can't say I am sitting at home on the computer all day. I get that. I welcome that. Our youngest is now in public school, no more home schooling!!
(nothing against homeschoolers) I want to do local deliveries. That means getting my CDl again (Commercial Drivers Licence) that means 8 weeks of truck school. There are positions waiting for me. Much better hours, and pay, with full benefits. My stbx is on her 3rd attorney delaying things and throwing money at attorneys rather than seeing me get half of it. Now would be a good time, while things drag on. Let her experience all that I still do with and for the family, once I am gone 5 days a week.
All that said , here's the relevancy. I told my attorney about it. She said, "your wife can ve forced to pay for your continuing education for up to two years." My funding is dwindling, my stbx continues to break the law by holding all our money. School would take about 60% of what I have left. That does not leave a lot for paying my attorney. Hopefully the short amount of school time, and once I get a steady pay check I can recover. It's also less alimony. That's okay, that's going to happen anyways. And rightful so. For now It's still all our money.
So, legally you may end up having to pay more. However, legally his failure to take any action to correct his problem *help himself* will cost him that benefit.
Another option is for me to wait it out another season. Not crazy about that.
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Post by greatcoastal on Mar 31, 2017 9:06:27 GMT -5
Such "information" will put a grin on your attorneys face. More evidence of your ex's criminal behavior. The judge's face will frown even harder at your ex. I picture your ex as a man in a small boat in fresh water who is dying of thirst, so he pulls the drain plug in the boat, tosses it in the water to get a drink!! He definitely is been making things harder for himself. I find it annoying and sad that he is being so stupid. My wife has hired a third attorney. One with a bad reputation of taking peoples money, and little else. It's annoying and sad that she is being so stupid. Then there's this creepy suspicion that it's more, manipulative controlling. A way of dragging things out as long as possible, to inflict as much damage as they can while you are showing them the door. Also a product of more bad advice from her relatives. She had a good attorney to start with. One that was recommended by our therapist, and my attorney, lots of years of divorce settlements experience. She did not like hearing the truth. She fired that one, and goes with the ones who take her money, and tell her what she wants to hear, strengthening my case, but at what cost? When is enough, enough? maybe by the 5th attorney? Fortunately I am not dismayed by this loss of money. I see it as being left with a glass half full! A fresh new start, a chance to literally get rid of old junk and do things the way I wanted. Sadly it took a divorce to gain that freedom. Good things are coming your way, your toils will lesson, your hard work will pay off. Your daughter will be a better person. Keep gaining ground, small steps!! |
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Post by eternaloptimism on Mar 31, 2017 13:23:05 GMT -5
OH MY GOD. what is wrong with this man. Why is he claiming he can't support himself. tamara68 he is enough to send a sane person over the edge. Seriously, what is stopping him earning a living? Other than his laziness and stupidity. He managed to turn on enough charm to ensnare you... he can do the same to an unsuspecting employer if he puts his mind to it I'm sure. I think he means he "can't be arsed" to support himself rather than just can't! I'm so sorry you are having to deal with this imbecile. I hate him. Xxxxx |
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Post by Deleted on Mar 31, 2017 13:54:40 GMT -5
Just forward that email to your lawyer. Just because that's what he wants means absolutely nothing. Yes, I forwarded it. Problem is that this situation is very unique. Since we have lived in Belgium for less than 5 years, stbx is officially not entitled to get money from social services. So he is in an emergency situation. He also claims he is not able to work. However he didn't do anything (as far as I know) to get money because of that. Personally I think that he will get help if he makes clear that he is in need. But I have the impression that so far, he only has tried using me as source of money. It is possible that because of his difficult situation the judge will have mercy on him and make me pay more. I just don't know what to expect. I am going to take a gamble and count on it that I won't have to pay a lot more. Tamara, just let your lawyer worry about this. From what you said, the judge is not very happy with him, and that is unlikely to change. If he is sending you his bills, just send them to your lawyer. This is really hard, but it will not last forever. |
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Post by tamara68 on Mar 31, 2017 13:58:33 GMT -5
OH MY GOD. what is wrong with this man. Why is he claiming he can't support himself. tamara68 he is enough to send a sane person over the edge. Seriously, what is stopping him earning a living? Other than his laziness and stupidity. He managed to turn on enough charm to ensnare you... he can do the same to an unsuspecting employer if he puts his mind to it I'm sure. I think he means he "can't be arsed" to support himself rather than just can't! I'm so sorry you are having to deal with this imbecile. I hate him. Xxxxx There is so much wrong with him, that it would be easier to say what's right. And that is not much. He has some medical issues. They do make it difficult for him to work, but if he would arrange getting a treatment, they would be no reason to do nothing. Biggest reason why it is difficult to work is becaus he is obsessive compulsive, but he won't admit to that. Even with that, he would be able to do work with adjustments. There are so many work projects for people who can't succeed in regular employment. I don't know if he is trying anything at all. Probably not. Driving me crazy sometimes. |
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Post by tamara68 on Mar 31, 2017 14:04:51 GMT -5
This is of interest to me. My situation might be relevant. My attorney is advising I get part time work, minimum wage, something,... so my stbx can't say I am sitting at home on the computer all day. I get that. I welcome that. Our youngest is now in public school, no more home schooling!! (nothing against homeschoolers) I want to do local deliveries. That means getting my CDl again (Commercial Drivers Licence) that means 8 weeks of truck school. There are positions waiting for me. Much better hours, and pay, with full benefits. My stbx is on her 3rd attorney delaying things and throwing money at attorneys rather than seeing me get half of it. Now would be a good time, while things drag on. Let her experience all that I still do with and for the family, once I am gone 5 days a week. All that said , here's the relevancy. I told my attorney about it. She said, "your wife can ve forced to pay for your continuing education for up to two years." My funding is dwindling, my stbx continues to break the law by holding all our money. School would take about 60% of what I have left. That does not leave a lot for paying my attorney. Hopefully the short amount of school time, and once I get a steady pay check I can recover. It's also less alimony. That's okay, that's going to happen anyways. And rightful so. For now It's still all our money. So, legally you may end up having to pay more. However, legally his failure to take any action to correct his problem *help himself* will cost him that benefit. Another option is for me to wait it out another season. Not crazy about that. You have figured out what to do, that's great! And that truck school will be good and I imagine it will be fun too. I wouldn't wait out another season if I were you. You are in charge of your life now, just waiting it out will probably feel not nearly as good as taking actions that are an investment in your future. I think you are right that his passivity is costing him the benefits he could get. I hope so at least. |
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Post by tamara68 on Apr 8, 2017 13:24:51 GMT -5
Stbx has send me a new 'proposal', it is supposed to be a compromise. He demands a lot of money. And he states that I have enough. Especially because in his calculation he has added the inheritance I would have if my father would die now. My father is old, but in good health. Probably will live for at least ten more years.
It is ridiculous so I won't agree with it.
More important is that he wrote that he is going to move back to the Netherlands. He has applied for a house somewhere in the region of MIL. It is going to take at least several months most likely. He will take my daughter with him back to the Netherlands. At least that is what he announced. He suggests that if I pay enough, there is a chance that my daughter would see me occasionnally. Implicitly he is saying that I won't see her if I don't pay as much as he wants.
I have forwarded his e-mail to my lawyer, the youth care lady and the police officer with whom I have spoken before. I hope that will help to keep my daughter here or at least have some positive effect.
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