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Post by ggold on Feb 14, 2017 20:44:49 GMT -5
What's also sad is that it means so much to us, and it happened so little. It was too easy to keep track of! True! |
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Post by shamwow on Feb 14, 2017 21:32:32 GMT -5
What's also sad is that it means so much to us, and it happened so little. It was too easy to keep track of! True! Mine last time is easy enough to remember: July 12, 2014, our 17th wedding anniversary. Now I've asked for a divorce, that will probably be the final time. On the bright time, I can save money on the calendar. |
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Post by sunniedays on Feb 15, 2017 11:20:32 GMT -5
Of course it does. This is why a trained sea lion keeps performing. He never knows when he will get the dead fish, so he keeps on trying. In our case, we never know when we get to fuck the dead fish. However, we get to decide when fucking a dead fish is no longer worth the effort. LMAO - Somebody just fell out of their chair laughing. Yes, I still have a damn active sense of humor. Perfect! "We never know when we get to fuck the dead fish." Your wife is a dead fish in this analogy? YOU picked a person to love and then refer to them as a dead fish. YOU stayed in a relationship with someone whom you refer to as a dead fish. Maybe your wife behaves like a dead fish. Maybe. The Mother of your children. A dead fish. If she does behave unkindly, she's wrong. Absolutely. But does it make you any less wrong to speak about the mother of your children so unkindly? To millions of people? She's not just a refuser. She's a dead fish. A dead fish that you never know when you get to fuck. The person you picked and created children with. You can't find any level of respect for her at all? Imagine you're dating a delightful new woman and you tell her that you were married for 20 years to a dead fish whom you never knew when you were going to get to fuck. I can't imagine a woman thinking you were any kind of a gentleman that she would like to perhaps start a relationship with. Disrespect AND Respect runs in all different directions. |
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Post by McRoomMate on Feb 15, 2017 11:39:32 GMT -5
LMAO - Somebody just fell out of their chair laughing. Yes, I still have a damn active sense of humor. Perfect! "We never know when we get to fuck the dead fish." Your wife is a dead fish in this analogy? YOU picked a person to love and then refer to them as a dead fish. YOU stayed in a relationship with someone whom you refer to as a dead fish. Maybe your wife behaves like a dead fish. Maybe. The Mother of your children. A dead fish. If she does behave unkindly, she's wrong. Absolutely. But does it make you any less wrong to speak about the mother of your children so unkindly? To millions of people? She's not just a refuser. She's a dead fish. A dead fish that you never know when you get to fuck. The person you picked and created children with. You can't find any level of respect for her at all? Imagine you're dating a delightful new woman and you tell her that you were married for 20 years to a dead fish whom you never knew when you were going to get to fuck. I can't imagine a woman thinking you were any kind of a gentleman that she would like to perhaps start a relationship with. Disrespect AND Respect runs in all different directions. Very fair points. I think it was said in humor - poor taste agreed. Your comments shine light on its perhaps inappropriateness. Still please remember the subject matter here is HEAVY and VERY EMOTIONAL - there is something to be said for "comic relief" even if in poor taste. Maybe we need a MODERATOR to spot check this? |
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Post by eternaloptimism on Feb 15, 2017 11:44:28 GMT -5
"We never know when we get to fuck the dead fish." Your wife is a dead fish in this analogy? YOU picked a person to love and then refer to them as a dead fish. YOU stayed in a relationship with someone whom you refer to as a dead fish. Maybe your wife behaves like a dead fish. Maybe. The Mother of your children. A dead fish. If she does behave unkindly, she's wrong. Absolutely. But does it make you any less wrong to speak about the mother of your children so unkindly? To millions of people? She's not just a refuser. She's a dead fish. A dead fish that you never know when you get to fuck. The person you picked and created children with. You can't find any level of respect for her at all? Imagine you're dating a delightful new woman and you tell her that you were married for 20 years to a dead fish whom you never knew when you were going to get to fuck. I can't imagine a woman thinking you were any kind of a gentleman that she would like to perhaps start a relationship with. Disrespect AND Respect runs in all different directions. Very fair points. I think it was said in humor - poor taste agreed. Your comments shine light on its perhaps inappropriateness. Still please remember the subject matter here is HEAVY and VERY EMOTIONAL - there is something to be said for "comic relief" even if in poor taste. Maybe we need a MODERATOR to spot check this? has a tendency to leave her sense of humour behind if we refer to our sexless partners as anything she doesn't like Mc Roomy. She doesn't like "refuser" in particular. |
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Post by McRoomMate on Feb 15, 2017 11:52:26 GMT -5
Very fair points. I think it was said in humor - poor taste agreed. Your comments shine light on its perhaps inappropriateness. Still please remember the subject matter here is HEAVY and VERY EMOTIONAL - there is something to be said for "comic relief" even if in poor taste. Maybe we need a MODERATOR to spot check this? has a tendency to leave her sense of humour behind if we refer to our sexless partners as anything she doesn't like Mc Roomy. She doesn't like "refuser" in particular. It's all good. As for me - I spend about half my time crying and half my time laughing with this Forum. What an emotional ride. Let's roll. |
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Post by csl on Feb 15, 2017 12:40:41 GMT -5
LMAO - Somebody just fell out of their chair laughing. Yes, I still have a damn active sense of humor. Perfect! "We never know when we get to fuck the dead fish." Before proceeding further, you might want to use the SEARCH function in the header to look up the word "starfish" or "starfish sex". It's a standard ILIASM metaphor for wives who just lay there and say "get it over with." Sounds like an acceptable spinoff term. |
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Post by sunniedays on Feb 15, 2017 14:30:38 GMT -5
Very fair points. I think it was said in humor - poor taste agreed. Your comments shine light on its perhaps inappropriateness. Still please remember the subject matter here is HEAVY and VERY EMOTIONAL - there is something to be said for "comic relief" even if in poor taste. Maybe we need a MODERATOR to spot check this? has a tendency to leave her sense of humour behind if we refer to our sexless partners as anything she doesn't like Mc Roomy. She doesn't like "refuser" in particular. I agree. I do leave my sense of humor behind when a grown adult male refers to the woman he chose as his wife as "fucking a dead fish." Not to just one or two close confidants, but to millions of random people. I guess I was raised to treat others in a respectful manner, regardless of the disrespectful way they may be behaving. In my opinion, it only emphasizes a person's short-comings and maturity level. As to not liking "refuser" in particular, feel free to continue to refer to the partners you chose in derogatory manners; your partners will continue to refer to you in derogatory manners; stay together for decades in your miserable relationships as you continue to call each other names, without standing up for yourselves, all the while continuing to complain about how horrible they are on a website. |
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Post by sunniedays on Feb 15, 2017 14:33:10 GMT -5
"We never know when we get to fuck the dead fish." Before proceeding further, you might want to use the SEARCH function in the header to look up the word "starfish" or "starfish sex". It's a standard ILIASM metaphor for wives who just lay there and say "get it over with." Sounds like an acceptable spinoff term. I'm well aware of the terms. |
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Post by Apocrypha on Feb 15, 2017 14:56:16 GMT -5
"The Mother of your children" Sunnie, these are red herrings. Whether a person is a mother or not does not have bearing on their behavior as a spouse. These are different roles and relationships. It is absolutely clear and reasonable in dysfunctional situations like this that people get hurt, resentful, and full of contempt as a result of the disconnection that happens. It might run both ways. It might not. But is perfectly understandable - the frustration, anger and contempt. |
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Post by sunniedays on Feb 15, 2017 15:06:38 GMT -5
"The Mother of your children" Sunnie, these are red herrings. Whether a person is a mother or not does not have bearing on their behavior as a spouse. These are different roles and relationships. It is absolutely clear and reasonable in dysfunctional situations like this that people get hurt, resentful, and full of contempt as a result of the disconnection that happens. It might run both ways. It might not. But is perfectly understandable - the frustration, anger and contempt. I agree. I was attempting to address the fact that OP was referring to the mother of his children as "not knowing when he was allowed to fuck a dead fish." I was just trying to make the point that maybe OP might want to take a step back and examine his words. Would he gather his children around and describe their mother like that to them? And I acknowledged the fact that if a partner/spouse is behaving badly, it's the incorrect thing to do. Maybe I've never been in a situation where I was so resentful and full of contempt that I would refer to someone whom I chose as a life partner that I would refer to them in this manner. She's still a human being for God's sake. |
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Post by Pinkberry on Feb 15, 2017 15:15:37 GMT -5
It would be highly interesting if you were keeping up on the social, emotional, familial, and financial trends during this same period. I'd love to hear any correlations that might exist in your relationship, if any.
I'm sorry it seems the sex level has slipped below that line again, not the 10/year line, but the one you drew in the sand. I hope you'll be able to have a discussion with your wife and get it back into an acceptable area.
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Post by bballgirl on Feb 15, 2017 15:33:09 GMT -5
Sunnie, these are red herrings. Whether a person is a mother or not does not have bearing on their behavior as a spouse. These are different roles and relationships. It is absolutely clear and reasonable in dysfunctional situations like this that people get hurt, resentful, and full of contempt as a result of the disconnection that happens. It might run both ways. It might not. But is perfectly understandable - the frustration, anger and contempt. I agree. I was attempting to address the fact that OP was referring to the mother of his children as "not knowing when he was allowed to fuck a dead fish." I was just trying to make the point that maybe OP might want to take a step back and examine his words. Would he gather his children around and describe their mother like that to them? And I acknowledged the fact that if a partner/spouse is behaving badly, it's the incorrect thing to do. Maybe I've never been in a situation where I was so resentful and full of contempt that I would refer to someone whom I chose as a life partner that I would refer to them in this manner. She's still a human being for God's sake. No he wouldn't gather his children around and refer to their mother that way. Sex is something between a husband and wife, it has nothing to do with children. However the lack of sex, intimacy, and affection does have to do with children because it's a poor example of a relationship we model for our children as well as putting the relationship at risk which can result in divorce which isn't easy on children but is better than a dysfunctional household. I think the OP wasn't referring to his wife per say as a dead fish but more describing the manner of the type of sex they have. Some people say vanilla it doesn't mean he's calling his wife an ice cream cone. |
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completelybaked
Junior Member
"I have become comfortably numb" - Pink Floyd
Posts: 29 
Age Range: 70+
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Post by completelybaked on Feb 15, 2017 15:54:09 GMT -5
Exactly, bballgirl. I do love my wife and would never refer to her as a dead fish or any other derogatory term. However, our once frequent, passionate love making has evolved to this: (her) "Really? It's been 6 months? OK. Get the lube and hurry up." (as she lays there). I think "fucking a dead fish" is a pretty accurate analogy.
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Post by Apocrypha on Feb 15, 2017 16:09:05 GMT -5
Sunnie, these are red herrings. Whether a person is a mother or not does not have bearing on their behavior as a spouse. These are different roles and relationships. It is absolutely clear and reasonable in dysfunctional situations like this that people get hurt, resentful, and full of contempt as a result of the disconnection that happens. It might run both ways. It might not. But is perfectly understandable - the frustration, anger and contempt. I agree. I was attempting to address the fact that OP was referring to the mother of his children as "not knowing when he was allowed to fuck a dead fish." I was just trying to make the point that maybe OP might want to take a step back and examine his words. Would he gather his children around and describe their mother like that to them? And I acknowledged the fact that if a partner/spouse is behaving badly, it's the incorrect thing to do. Maybe I've never been in a situation where I was so resentful and full of contempt that I would refer to someone whom I chose as a life partner that I would refer to them in this manner. She's still a human being for God's sake. I'm not sure where you are from, but "dead fish" is a very common term in North America that is used to describe a person who has unenthusiastic sex. It's common vernacular. The scenarios that you are introducing are still red herrings. I understand exactly what you are doing - shaming and changing the subject. He isn't publicly humiliating her here because this is an anonymous forum. He isn't referring to her as a dead fish to their children. If your point is that maintaining contempt isn't helpful -I'm with you on that. But feeling anger and expressing it here - I'm not clear on the downside of that. |
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