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Post by unmatched on Feb 6, 2017 21:01:09 GMT -5
I will have to say that My H starts 90% of the arguments with my son and only at the dinner table and know other time. I am not saying that my son is an innocent bystander by no means, I understand that he has issues as a growing boy. But at what point as a parent do you say to yourself that this is not the place or time to pick a fight, who is the bigger person and at what point is a kid not going to lash out when a parent know how to push buttons. I also will add that I am the one who has to put a stop to it each and every time. My son will be turning 18 this month and is not my H son he has been in my sons life since he was a year old. He has always since my son was little telling me that there was something wrong with him ( Mentally) there is nothing wrong with my son he is a B+ student has a job has had a steady girlfriend for the for the past year. I even at on point had my son tested nothing at all wrong with him. But for what ever reason the discontent that my H has for him is unknown to me. He never treats his own daughter in this manner EVER ! who will be 15 this year, I do not treat ether of my children differently and do not put one before the other. One thing that seems quite common in SMs is that we get deeply deeply frustrated with the general lack of sex/intimacy/affection and we fixate on that. Often for a very long time. And it creates a kind of tension where we are constantly leaning forward, trying to get closer to our spouses, trying to fix the marriage, seeing them as something we really WANT. Then when things start to shift (either because our partners are being nudged into actually having sex again, or because we are starting to separate out our need for sex from our feelings about our partner) it takes the lid off your marriage and all kinds of other things start to bubble up to the surface. And when you take away those WANT glasses for a second, things often look different to what we thought. Maybe your SM is fixable, maybe it isn't. But this is a very good opportunity to look at your relationship in a way that maybe you haven't been able to for years. And figure out, completely separate from the SM issue, what you want to do about it. |
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Post by iceman on Feb 8, 2017 10:09:59 GMT -5
From a physiological standpoint, this seems to make sense. It will also affect certain neurotransmitters related to happiness. This is in line with what I recall from an article I once read (can't remember where it was) regarding frequency of sex and the effect on female and male libidos. The gist was that for females having frequent sex actually increases the desire to have further sex while it has the opposite effect for males where frequent sex reduces desire. I don't remember the details of why or how they came to their conclusions but I believe it was that sex increases hormone levels for women that increases their desire and it had the opposite effect for men. From a practical perspective it makes some sense to me for men. We only have so much 'ammunition' so we need some down time at some point to reload. |
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UP DATE
Aug 11, 2017 21:50:51 GMT -5
Post by baza on Aug 11, 2017 21:50:51 GMT -5
Hello Sister flowerdust . How are things going on your Sep 2017 deadline ? |
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