flowerdust
Junior Member
Posts: 61 
Age Range: 46-50
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Post by flowerdust on Feb 5, 2017 8:47:10 GMT -5
Absolutely !!!!!!. Three times in the last 2 days. Braggart ! I think to count 3 ttimes I might have to go back 5 years. Where was that gun again? (completely joking... Gallows humor) Sad part is that I know it will not last ( reset sex) , and it was most likely the end of it for another 6 months until I start to beg once again ( which I will not be doing this time around) |
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Post by McRoomMate on Feb 5, 2017 9:07:40 GMT -5
flowerdust My Wife and I agreed to a divorce after 15 minutes and then 6 hours later and that she still loved me and we have to try and "want" we made mad passionate love for the first time in a year and she had a huge moaning orgasm. I asked her how she could go several months without sex and she said it was because a Woman´s libido (sex drive) shrinks if not actively having sex. As a woman would you agree to that? I have never heard of that. I guess it could happen, Not with me though.. It would be something to look up on the Mayo clinic site. Thank-you appreciate the response and guidance - When in doubt Google I found this quote So, “when a woman stops having sex, over a period of time, her body will decide to decrease the amount of hormones and therefore tell her that she is not aroused nor does she have the desire for sex.” www.medicaldaily.com/use-it-or-lose-it-how-age-hormones-and-masturbation-predict-sexual-health-329366 |
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Post by Dan on Feb 5, 2017 11:06:04 GMT -5
... this is not so much "Why chasing" but more a last ditch effort to turn things around. I can hope for change Yes still part of me is still in denial. I do not want any regrets when I walk out that door. EXACTLY: a "last ditch effort" fills the TWO purposes of: - MAYBE things will turn around, and I'll be sufficiently satisfied to stay in the marriage. - If they don't turn around, I will be able -- with a clear conscience -- say "I really did try... even one more time than I need to have". |
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Post by lyn on Feb 5, 2017 12:05:04 GMT -5
From a physiological standpoint, this seems to make sense. It will also affect certain neurotransmitters related to happiness. |
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Post by eternaloptimism on Feb 5, 2017 12:46:31 GMT -5
From a physiological standpoint, this seems to make sense. It will also affect certain neurotransmitters related to happiness. That's a really interesting article. I'm so glad I'm a wanker. Keeps me sexually active  |
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Post by DryCreek on Feb 5, 2017 13:08:57 GMT -5
One of those stats that kinda rubs salt in the wound, while also offering a hopeful outlook...
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Post by rejected101 on Feb 5, 2017 13:24:19 GMT -5
One of those stats that kinda rubs salt in the wound, while also offering a hopeful outlook... 😳 I dropped to below once a month in my late 20's and last year which was the best year since being married we were still well under twice a month. It's like the slowest recession recovery in existence (excluding the baby making periods x2 where sex was on tap). |
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Post by bballgirl on Feb 5, 2017 13:35:25 GMT -5
One of those stats that kinda rubs salt in the wound, while also offering a hopeful outlook... As a woman who enjoys sex very much those statistics look very hopeful for me in terms of getting laid. Not sure about the relationship part but there certainly seems to be some imbalance there. As well those men in their 50's that are having sex 2 or 3 times a month, that is I'm sure a compromise set by the lower libido spouse. There's a colleague at work, in his 50's who I swear is hitting on me. I would never cross that line at work so it's not going to happen but he flat out told me his wife and him have sex 2-3 times a month but he wants it 2-3 times a week. He has also told me he has had affairs and has a vasectomy. So I know he's sending feelers out but I'm not biting. However this stat made me think of him and his situation and the fact that as I age the percentage for women wanting sex is going to get smaller. I just pray I never lose my libido. |
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Post by lyn on Feb 5, 2017 13:39:52 GMT -5
One of those stats that kinda rubs salt in the wound, while also offering a hopeful outlook... As a woman who enjoys sex very much those statistics look very hopeful for me in terms of getting laid. Not sure about the relationship part but there certainly seems to be some imbalance there. As well those men in their 50's that are having sex 2 or 3 times a month, that is I'm sure a compromise set by the lower libido spouse. There's a colleague at work, in his 50's who I swear is hitting on me. I would never cross that line at work so it's not going to happen but he flat out told me his wife and him have sex 2-3 times a month but he wants it 2-3 times a week. He has also told me he has had affairs and has a vasectomy. So I know he's sending feelers out but I'm not biting. However this stat made me think of him and his situation and the fact that as I age the percentage for women wanting sex is going to get smaller. I just pray I never lose my libido. He's absolutely putting out feelers!! Probably smart to keep work separate though. But, the takeaway I'm seeing here is.......... better odds for us as we get older! This makes me optimistic for post sm. As usual, thank you bballgirl! |
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Post by bballgirl on Feb 5, 2017 13:51:46 GMT -5
As a woman who enjoys sex very much those statistics look very hopeful for me in terms of getting laid. Not sure about the relationship part but there certainly seems to be some imbalance there. As well those men in their 50's that are having sex 2 or 3 times a month, that is I'm sure a compromise set by the lower libido spouse. There's a colleague at work, in his 50's who I swear is hitting on me. I would never cross that line at work so it's not going to happen but he flat out told me his wife and him have sex 2-3 times a month but he wants it 2-3 times a week. He has also told me he has had affairs and has a vasectomy. So I know he's sending feelers out but I'm not biting. However this stat made me think of him and his situation and the fact that as I age the percentage for women wanting sex is going to get smaller. I just pray I never lose my libido. He's absolutely putting out feelers!! Probably smart to keep work separate though. But, the takeaway I'm seeing here is.......... better odds for us as we get older! This makes me optimistic for post sm. As usual, thank you bballgirl! Yes that was my point. As well I think in post SM and being in our 40's, 50's or 60's - nobody has time for bullshit anymore. You either like me or you don't, you're attracted to me or not, etc. As far as the work colleague I would never cross that line but it is really nice to get that flirt every now and then for our self esteem especially coming out of a SM. Even being on the dating apps helps with the self esteem and confidence - getting a message telling me that I'm beautiful is so welcomed after so many years of being in a wasteland of compliments. |
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Post by shamwow on Feb 5, 2017 14:20:12 GMT -5
Braggart ! I think to count 3 ttimes I might have to go back 5 years. Where was that gun again? (completely joking... Gallows humor) Sad part is that I know it will not last ( reset sex) , and it was most likely the end of it for another 6 months until I start to beg once again ( which I will not be doing this time around) True. But actually understanding what is happening is the first step in dealing with it. The minute you realize that, the game changes. I sense for you that worm just turned. Congratulations and condolences. For the moment, enjoy the afterglow. The hard work of deciding what you want for the rest of your life comes next. |
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Post by Carol on Feb 5, 2017 20:08:20 GMT -5
We had it out last night. He was just being a major jerk and I just got so pissed off that I called him out. He keeps asking for more time to work his issues and, against my better judgment, I keep giving it to him. Time will tell. My gut tells me that there many be some "reset" sex, but the outlook of our relationship is still very much rocky. Am I a giant fool for giving him so many chances to turn this around?
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Post by DryCreek on Feb 5, 2017 21:28:48 GMT -5
We had it out last night. He was just being a major jerk and I just got so pissed off that I called him out. He keeps asking for more time to work his issues and, against my better judgment, I keep giving it to him. Time will tell. My gut tells me that there many be some "reset" sex, but the outlook of our relationship is still very much rocky. Am I a giant fool for giving him so many chances to turn this around? The more aware of the situation you become, the better you will handle it in the future. Don't beat yourself up too much about the growing / enlightenment process. It's progress when you recognize a pattern that has you in a loop, and isn't actually getting better. |
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Post by Dan on Feb 6, 2017 8:52:26 GMT -5
We had it out last night. He was just being a major jerk and I just got so pissed off that I called him out. He keeps asking for more time to work his issues and, against my better judgment, I keep giving it to him. Time will tell. My gut tells me that there many be some "reset" sex, but the outlook of our relationship is still very much rocky. Am I a giant fool for giving him so many chances to turn this around? : YOU. ARE. NOT. BEING. A. FOOL. You are making the best of a tough situation. You are being compassionate. You are NOT doing something rash -- ditching the marriage at the first sign of trouble... or the tenth sign of a "reset". I'm sorry to say: there are no universally applicable guide posts for when "enough is enough". We must all make our own way on this. Make your decisions with your heart and your head: do you love him? will he ever "be enough"? do you have an exit plan? do you understand what your financial situation will be if you moved forward with a divorce? Knowledge is power; self-knowledge is one of the most powerful things in the universe. If you need time to work out what YOU want... how YOU really feel... what YOU are going to do next.. take it. This is not useless delay or scold-worthy procrastination; you are merely incubating the power of self-knowledge. |
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flowerdust
Junior Member
Posts: 61
Age Range: 46-50
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Post by flowerdust on Feb 6, 2017 9:27:18 GMT -5
Since yesterday I am walking around in a fog, thinking what the hell just happened ? After a couple of days sex and a couple of orgasms later and still having that feel good hormone also then being able to openly talk about the issues surrounding our SM So the communication is now open, ( Thats good right) !
We headed over to a friends house for a hot tub and beer day. As we were all sitting around chatting having a great time someone said something about children and how we protect them, I am like absolutely over anyone they are my main focus and will always come first. Then the h brings up my son and the dinner table. ( they cannot sit at a table and have normal conversation and always turns into an argument)
So over the past couple of years we do not eat there anymore just because of it. I tried to have christmas dinner all of us sitting down (Nope same thing) He knows that it hurts me and brings back really bad childhood memories, so he knows this will hit a nerve and it did.
I am looking at hm thinking (OH I am so done with this, We are done, I am now at my breaking point, you have just sent me over the edge ) .
Why would he do that and in front of our friends knowing it will start an argument, and for five or so min that is what it did do, until I got up and walked out of the room.
My friends at this point really do not know what is going on with us and a SM.
Guess I really did not have that trump card after all. I am feeling so stupid thinking I could change or fix anything
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