How pathetic

My stbx never showed any signs of sexuality. If she ever went solo she hid it well. I'm not sure which is worse. I had a cold dead corpse. Your W shows some signs of life. Which is worse?

On second thought your deal is worse... Just too in your face. More of an insult than simple neglect

So she has a drive. Yea, she won't take your needs into consideration but is taking care of her own. Awful.

Back in the day of my ILIASM deal, once it had plunged into genuine ILIASM shithole status, I couldn't have given a fuck what my missus masturbatory habits were.
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That you still care Brother JonDoe, probably indicates that your deal has yet to fully bottom out.

Back in my deal, had there been two roots a week, then the description of my deal would have been "a dysfunctional marriage where we have two roots a week".
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And quite likely, I would have been very inclined to stay in such a deal. It would have had at least some compensating sex to offset the rest of the issues present in the deal.
And I doubt I would ever have googled 'sexless marriage'.
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A hell of a lot of people arrive here taking a position that - "everything is great bar the sex".
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In most cases that position does not hold up under objective examination. The paucity of sex invariably is the tip of a deeply dysfunctional iceberg.
So it was in my deal too.

Regarding sexual intimacy, the issues from my perspective are primarily frequency, initiation, and how she says no. Of course, the longer the dry spell, the less I feel like doing something special for her (speaking her love language), so it becomes a vicious cycle. When it has been a really long time, like the current drought, it gets to a point where she is mad at me because of the deminishing acts of service (her love language), at which point her perspective then becomes I need to try harder before she will want to have sex, but when I do she thinks I'm doing it just to get sex. The proverbial Catch 22. The stars have to be aligned for her.

She admits to enjoying sex, and occasionally after a lengthy dry spell she will even say "Wow, we should do this more often!" which at this stage is like a kick in the balls.

However, it isn't just an issue of sex for me. I would love to passionately kiss my wife too. An unexpected passionate kiss before work would due wonders for me, and thus for us. Even an unexpected flash of the boobs or bush would make my day. Hell, I would enjoy a good cuddle every once in a while too. If she'd put the damn phone down ignoring Facebook, texting, phone calls, the dogs, etc for 20 minutes and just lay her head on my chest and be silent. She told me a few years ago during a related discussion that she doesn't understand a persons need to cuddle. However, she lets the dogs lay with her and on her, and if she had her way she would sleep with both big dogs in bed every night. She likes few things more than a long nap with the dogs.

I think it's time to take a job out of state for a few months and sort things out.

We are facing similar battles. She doesn't like kissing, cuddling, initiation, intimacy either. For me, threatening to leave produces periods of great sex. But it's too risky. For both of us. She doesn't want a divorce, neither do I. (Mutual forces of love involved.) So I won't settle for a long dry spell. And she won't settle for frequent sex. At least the stars don't have to be completely aligned for root-making to occur.  I haven't read the 5 Love Languages but I've read another excellent book called His Needs Her Needs. My w was pleased that I would read a book on saving our marriage (she wasn't excited to read it before I returned to library) and she's nicer. Seems like your wife has an edge in your marriage. You will need to even it out some. Probably when she realizes she may lose you.