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Post by neonspace on Jun 13, 2017 14:41:55 GMT -5
That was worth watching. Thanks for sharing.
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Attachment
Jun 12, 2017 22:27:54 GMT -5
via mobile
Post by neonspace on Jun 12, 2017 22:27:54 GMT -5
That was an interesting article. What struck me, as the author described day to day interactions once you've detached, is that it occurred to me that's mostly how we've been interacting for at least a year. Probably longer if I think about it, but I don't want to think about it.
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Post by neonspace on Jun 11, 2017 18:57:43 GMT -5
I think under some certain circumstances a woman could pull this line off, but in my situation it just didn't come across as a textbook example of enthusiasm.
Her noticing my morning arousal: "you can stick that in me, if you want"
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Post by neonspace on Jun 11, 2017 11:13:08 GMT -5
I will start with reset sex line from refuser maybe others will add some 1. Let's get this over with (kind of killed the mood) well more then killed the mood, crushed my soul I've got the line myself a few times.
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Post by neonspace on Jun 10, 2017 11:06:14 GMT -5
Maybe instead of journey it should be callled a death march. That's how it feels most days.
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Post by neonspace on Jun 9, 2017 17:56:01 GMT -5
I'm going through something similar myself. My spouse is making efforts to mend things, but it just isn't doing anything for me. While I appreciate the effort I think the damage is already done. I realize that she has been rejecting me in multiple ways, not just sexually, for the past 25 years and I'm just not attracted to her any more.
The fact that she is making an effort now just makes the situation more difficult even though it has provided me clarity on my own feelings.
It sucks.
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Post by neonspace on Jun 8, 2017 14:23:12 GMT -5
What is "zip code" therapy?
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Post by neonspace on Jun 8, 2017 14:18:51 GMT -5
Part of me would say yes, send it, just I so I can live vicariously through you. But the reality is that you probably shouldn't send it.
I do believe there is significant therapy to writing something like that just to get it out without actually sending it.
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Post by neonspace on Jun 8, 2017 14:13:09 GMT -5
Today is gonna be one of those days I think. Just feeling down and lonely. Every day.
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Post by neonspace on Jun 2, 2017 16:28:29 GMT -5
Reading the experiences here is sad and difficult, but it does provide some comfort. Thanks for sharing.
I love the smell of my wife's hair. She doesn't even wear perfume and still smells nice. So painful and agonizing at the same time.
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Post by neonspace on Jun 2, 2017 9:48:29 GMT -5
I tell you the weirdest feeling, absolutely being beyond desiring the roommate.... and yet lusting after strangers you drive past in a car. I've felt more sexual energy in a traffic jam than lying in bed with him. Mad!!! This! Every day.
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Post by neonspace on May 31, 2017 15:46:35 GMT -5
It is a true story and it was also meant to be funny. While my situation doesn't make me happy, I do try to laugh at myself too. What I meant by "just right" is operating at a calorie deficit and as I was writiing that I told myself I should elaborate. I was at 9% body fat and monitored every item that went into my body. Now that I think about it my wife did notice. She said my eating habits ruined thanksgiving and that I was too skinny. I was probably too skinny then but have backed off that coping mechanism since then.
I have also tried other coping mechanisms like alcohol. All temporary measures that weren't all that effective.
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Post by neonspace on May 31, 2017 14:40:37 GMT -5
I went to the gym for awhile trying to get fit to get my wife to notice. LOL, never happened/happening. An interesting side effect, is that if you can get your calorie intake and physical activity just right your sex drive will plummet. So this worked for me for about six months until I realized it wasn't sustainable and somewhat pathetic.
I stay fit now just for my own personal health and the off chance some random woman will notice me.
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Post by neonspace on May 28, 2017 12:58:12 GMT -5
OK West coast people. Speak up. San Diego here. San Diego here too. I'd be open to meet for a coffee or possibly trying the Skype session if I can coordinate the logistics on my end.
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Post by neonspace on May 24, 2017 10:00:53 GMT -5
Thanks for the replies and support.
We had a bit of a blow up last night. She offered reset sex and I said no. She actually made an effort, took a bath invited me to join, I said no, then made another advance, I said no. She was pissed. She said she was trying to throw me a bone. I found that comment very revealing. She even used the word "reset", saying she wanted to reset things back to the way they were.
One of the things she mentioned in a previous conversation was childhood sex abuse and flashbacks. She doesn't want to bring that history up in counseling and for now is refusing to attend. I have scheduled a session for myself next week. Ive known about the abuse since we were dating but thought she a handle on it, but recently found out about the frequent flashbacks she has during intercourse. I don't like the idea of triggering that pain for her during sex and it is part of the reason I don't want to do it any more. She says she wants to get back to normal and will just push those thoughts and memories away during sex if it happens so we can be happy again. She has even offered scheduled sex twice a week.
This doesn't seem like a good idea to me and I think it will make her resent me (more) in the end. She does seem to be trying, but I think professional help is needed, but I don't want to force her, she has to want to get help. Am I being unreasonable? Do I accept the bone she is trying to throw me as an olive branch in the meantime, while she tries to work through this? I want to be supportive and not ice her out, if she really wants to change. How do I know when she is really committed to self improvement? Thoughts? Suggestions?
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