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Post by lwoetin on Mar 30, 2016 22:28:13 GMT -5
Similar situation here. I don't think it's one person or one "event" that causes it. How do we fulfill our needs while attending to desires- which never include sex? How do we "love" when our partner is denying such a need? That is what I struggle with. I didn't feel loved a couple of years ago and it was hard to show love in return. We had a serious talk then and figured out that we wanted to save our marriage. There resulted plenty of sex then. But all good things usually don't last. Still...before she was ice cold, now she's warm. Before there was no hope, now I can hope for better things....may not materialize, but I have hope. Am I going to escape the ILIASM threshold of 10x/yr? Probably not, but I may relish each occasion more. If your spouse is not listening to your needs, then you will suffer greatly and your marriage may not make it. Make sure she knows the consequences, because when faced with the realization that one is about to lose a loved one, urgency and awakening occurs and things can change for the better.
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Post by lwoetin on Mar 30, 2016 0:02:33 GMT -5
It is a win-win situation apparently.
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Post by lwoetin on Mar 29, 2016 23:11:13 GMT -5
Thank you for your responses. I really appreciate the empathy. However it turns out, the journey is worthwhile and important. I think though that love will trump sex in marriage. And if I'm wrong, then I have sex to look forward to in another life.
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Post by lwoetin on Mar 29, 2016 22:52:35 GMT -5
It's not wrong to have no desire for sex. What IS wrong is trapping another person in a monogamous relationship, and then refusing to have sex. I don't think of it as a trap though. And I don't want her to feel trapped into having sex either. It is her desire to live without. And I have a desire to live with. Both of us are free to do as we wish but we want the other to change so we can live happily ever after. I just need to pack some muscles like Tim Tebow and that should do the trick.
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Post by lwoetin on Mar 29, 2016 22:31:46 GMT -5
Sorry to hear of your situation. I am one also trying to stay. I have no answers for anyone including myself...unfortunately. I just do a lot of handwaving.
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Post by lwoetin on Mar 29, 2016 21:22:26 GMT -5
Dan, I would be happy to help with keeping ads off for a month this year as well.
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Post by lwoetin on Mar 28, 2016 0:55:26 GMT -5
I am staying in my marriage. Instead of sex, my wife and I watched the video The Martian this evening. Dude is stuck in another planet and he has to be resourceful to make it through else he dies. At least I'm not alone and running out of food. We didn't get to finish the movie. I'm not sure if he will make it. I'm not really sure how long one can last without sex and intimacy. I bet many people can last if they try really hard. It's not wrong to have no desire for sex. She used to. Now she don't. Other than that, she is still the same person. Whose fault is it that she has lost desire? Probably hers and mine. Can she regain it? She doesn't think so or want so. I think so. I hope so. It's not like I am stuck in Mars.
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Post by lwoetin on Mar 28, 2016 0:22:01 GMT -5
Wait...no ads with the weird looking psychics who do nothing but wait for someone to call them. Their phones were ringing off the hook. I'd prefer looking at clowns. I didn't think it is possible to have a forum with no ads. Hopefully it can stay this way.
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Post by lwoetin on Mar 24, 2016 23:04:27 GMT -5
Hi everyone. Formerly lwoetin from EP. Good to see the group again.
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