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Post by thebaffledking on Oct 24, 2018 5:33:36 GMT -5
I tried everything under the sun to survive.........for YEARS......in the end, I almost caved to the CO2 plan......after that wake-up moment, I knew that the only way to survive it was to LEAVE it. I suspect the vast majority of men and women in hopeless SMs reach the same conclusion...and then some leave and some stay anyway....and that's not living. That's not why you were born and bred and raised to be a man or a woman of quality and character. And in the end it's not all about sex at all; it's about being treated like a HUMAN BEING. Every day of my 'survival' attempts, perhaps ironically, led me closer and closer to self-destruction......so.......yeah. Leave. Don't survive the SM, survive the leaving process and get yourself free. My two cents and two cents only, for those ready to hear it.
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Post by thebaffledking on Oct 18, 2018 6:27:04 GMT -5
I just want to mention, in regards to the title of this thread, a simple reminder: you have TOTAL control over the adjective that precedes 'existence'. TOTAL CONTROL.
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Post by thebaffledking on Oct 17, 2018 6:05:31 GMT -5
This is how life is supposed to look! YOU'RE ALMOST THERE!!
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Post by thebaffledking on Oct 17, 2018 6:00:04 GMT -5
Awwwwwwhhh! I was at work (where I have to use the freeforums.net access and can't log in but can read) and came back now, here at home, to see the photo of baza and ms. enna!! But the post is gone!!!!!!!!!! SO DISAPPOINTED!!!!!! I love seeing these post-shithole photos
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Post by thebaffledking on Oct 16, 2018 2:11:23 GMT -5
RC, I couldn't agree more. Wishing the best for you and GG, and SOON!!
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Post by thebaffledking on Oct 15, 2018 8:39:44 GMT -5
Thanks, Shammy. Yes, I hesitated at posting a pic, but just like 'before-and-after' weightloss photos that people post here and there, these things can serve as inspiration to take the path less traveled and see what's out there. It also reminds me of how far I've come.......I first googled sexless marriage 12 years ago.....as things went from bad to worse, it got very very dark for me. I am TOTALLY a 'til death do us part' kind of guy. It took YEARS to get to the point of realization that I was no longer living each day but just surviving it. And after some more years I decided that wasn't why I was here.....and the chain started turning the other way....from me trying desperately (and with the most incredible futility) to appease her and doormat myself and lift weights and just try to be some form of a mysterious 'better'.......to me saying FUCK THIS SHIT!!! And the world was waiting with a promise for me......in the form of a woman the likes of whom I'd never met before. It's just a pretty big deal and deserves some celebration!! I am definitely of the GET THE FUCK OUT camp, and I know that doesn't always play well, so I sort of stick to my own story and quietly wish the best for every person here who has had to google 'sexless marriage'......
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Post by thebaffledking on Oct 15, 2018 7:13:21 GMT -5
Hey Guys, if you quoted my post and it contains her photo, I would very much appreciate it if you would edit the post to remove the quote and/or photo. I had told her I'd just leave it up for a couple days and didn't expect it would appear in full quote glory. Thank you!! Done, thanks for reminders, photo deleted Thank you, my good man!
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Post by thebaffledking on Oct 15, 2018 4:35:51 GMT -5
Hey Guys, if you quoted my post and it contains her photo, I would very much appreciate it if you would edit the post to remove the quote and/or photo. I had told her I'd just leave it up for a couple days and didn't expect it would appear in full quote glory. Thank you!!
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Post by thebaffledking on Oct 14, 2018 6:30:01 GMT -5
She’s beautiful thebaffledking . I’m very happy for you both. Please check back with us from time to time and tell us how you’re doing. Thank you, sadkat. It's her 'inside self' that utterly captivated me. She is the kindest, sweetest, smartest, and most fun person I have met. We clicked from first contact and I can hardly believe that in less than two weeks we'll be sharing a life together. I do hope we can all find what we need for ourselves. Life is way too short to be fucking around (no pun intended)!
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Post by thebaffledking on Oct 13, 2018 23:55:11 GMT -5
Spot-on insights as always, baza.......that is exactly right.
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Post by thebaffledking on Oct 13, 2018 18:30:01 GMT -5
Yes, there is always hope, but I just saw a meme today that really resonated with me. I'll just post the article link as the full article is worth a gander: tinybuddha.com/blog/the-danger-of-wishful-thinking-nothing-changes-if-we-dont-take-action/Definitely not calling you out on 'hope'! We ALL need it as the seed of our planning. It just reminded me of seeing this piece today (-: Four and a half years ago, I was presented with hope......but it has taken four and a half years of action (often excruciatingly difficult action) to bring things to fruition. And now, in 12 days, she's coming to live with me. Four and a half years........I'm glad I didn't know how long it would all take on the day I met her or I might have bowed out and continued on my downward spiral! Something told me, though.....'Hang on to this one.....no matter what.....' So I did (-:
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Post by thebaffledking on Oct 1, 2018 7:06:31 GMT -5
And it really does feel this good.......
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Post by thebaffledking on Oct 1, 2018 7:03:40 GMT -5
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Post by thebaffledking on Sept 20, 2018 7:37:01 GMT -5
I once was of the "we're great friends" camp......then I woke the fuck up to the fact that one's own spouse should not deny you one of THEE most bonding aspects of marriage. It's bullshit. I can't tell you how many times people have started off with the "great friends" notion and then watched them burn away like a hot fuse in the ensuing months or years. Sorry to be blunt, but please wake up. This is not 'friendship'. This is her USING YOU politely to fulfill all her needs while you end up googling 'sexless marriage'. I have been there. Now I'm out......and my gawd does it feel so FREEING and AMAZING to be living authentically again.
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Post by thebaffledking on Sept 15, 2018 21:00:39 GMT -5
IMHO, they are SO busy and surrounded by fun and activity and countless others whose parents are divorced.......and nowadays the whole 'gay' thing is such a non-issue for most people........it hardly registers a blip these days. That's my experience. ballofconfusion, it's going to go much better than you expect, I almost guarantee it.
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