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Post by thebaffledking on Feb 6, 2017 7:53:52 GMT -5
I may have already addressed this, or I may be thinking about lyn's thread on Hypocrisy.......but what really freaks me out is the inherent conflict in being civil with someone who you know you're about to nuke. I really hate this part of things. I just don't know what the alternative would be...... Feeling that too BK. It's not easy is it! X I guess I was raised right. Acting in this manner is almost always deceitful and slick. But leading up to The Final Word, it's what we have to do. It's just part and parcel of a really shitty situation. The upside is that it makes finally unloading the entire burden all the more amazing, I'm sure. FUCK THE BURDEN!
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Post by thebaffledking on Feb 6, 2017 5:40:38 GMT -5
I may have already addressed this, or I may be thinking about lyn's thread on Hypocrisy.......but what really freaks me out is the inherent conflict in being civil with someone who you know you're about to nuke. I really hate this part of things. I just don't know what the alternative would be......
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Phases
Feb 4, 2017 23:10:19 GMT -5
Post by thebaffledking on Feb 4, 2017 23:10:19 GMT -5
^^THIS^^
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Post by thebaffledking on Feb 4, 2017 22:58:09 GMT -5
McR, you've got company on the prostitute thing. Almost nine years ago, after dwindling encounters and her knowing i was getting upset, she re-set me on a vacation. It was great. Though I felt totally manipulated, I went for it. Afterwards (like immediately) I told her lovingly and with such hope that I wished this would be a turning point and that we would find our way back to balance and intimacy. Without missing a beat, she looked me right in the eye, without visible or audible malice of any kind, and told me if I wanted sex I had her permission to see prostitutes. We had one more re-set five MONTHS later, and in the midst of that one I knew I would never allow myself to do it again.......I knew that would be the last time.
I stopped bringing it up, stopped asking, stopped touching her, everything stopped. So four years ago when she asked me why I was always so simmering and distant, I told her. She didn't want to hear it. She informed me that our sexlessness was "mutual". Nicely played, asshole. I've been DARVO-ed up the wazoo for years with this one.
P.S. - and she has never been more content!
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Post by thebaffledking on Feb 4, 2017 19:51:21 GMT -5
My name is Solo Driver and I'm addicted to sex. (Sadly it's been 16 years since my last experience).
I love the way it makes me feel, I love the way I can help someone else feel, I love the connection it makes to another person, and I love to have it as often as I can.
I might be an addict too! Lol I am most definitely a sex addict, but I am also fiercely faithful and loyal and totally one-woman. You can probably see the problems that my SM has brought me. No wonder my brain and heart feel shattered. Sha-doo-bay..........shattered.
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Post by thebaffledking on Feb 4, 2017 19:43:15 GMT -5
IT'S SO HOT!!!! I was an elementary school kid in the 60's.....but old enough to appreciate that it was a special time........we definitely had some high school girls in the neighborhood who pulled off this look, and it is forever embedded in my heart!
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Post by thebaffledking on Feb 4, 2017 9:23:46 GMT -5
Reading the posts here have helped to understand and take action regarding my SM. But it wasn't really me who asked for the divorce so not sure my exit strategy was really implemented. I found this site and was facing a divorce less than 10 hours later. I don't post a lot many because 1. I haven't the time and 2. I so often feel I haven't anything to add to the previous discussion. I do try to read as much as I can and certainly send out heartfelt wishes to all who are suffering. You rock the forums, nancyb! Always lovely to see you here!
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Post by thebaffledking on Feb 4, 2017 6:51:03 GMT -5
I like it when it's quiet in here sometimes. I can get a bit overwhelmed when there is a lot of new stuff. I always want to read everything and speak wise words. But I never have the time to read everything, and I don't often have wisdom when I do read something. So sometimes this place makes me feel a bit shitty. Like I'm failing at being a good member. I do feel all the pain here though. Deeply. I always wish I had more time. Like if this place was my job I'd be all over it arranging people's exits for them and setting up their new lives for them... it's funny, i know I'd excel at doing that for other people... but still haven't done it for myself have I?!!!!! DUDE! You are a truly beloved member here! I'm sure I'm not alone in looking forward to reading your posts!
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Post by thebaffledking on Feb 4, 2017 6:20:16 GMT -5
"Why's Men Say"
by Elviliasm Shitholesley
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Post by thebaffledking on Feb 4, 2017 3:35:49 GMT -5
.......addicted to the wisdom and advice and the many many stories shared here. When I log on and see no one's updated any threads in hours, I feel a kind of sadness I like this place.......I like it a lot. Oh, and sex matters - I may be addicted to it as well (not porn - the real deal)!
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Post by thebaffledking on Feb 3, 2017 23:48:55 GMT -5
There was recently a viral video of a macaque humping a forest deer......that is how much we mammals are WIRED to procreate!
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Post by thebaffledking on Feb 3, 2017 18:58:53 GMT -5
So through the eyes love attains the heart:
For the eyes are the scouts of the heart,
And the eyes go reconnoitering
For what it would please the heart to possess.
And when they are in full accord
And firm, all three, in the one resolve,
At that time, perfect love is born
From what the eyes have made welcome to the heart.
—Guiraut de Borneilh (12th c.)
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Post by thebaffledking on Feb 3, 2017 18:47:32 GMT -5
"And where we had thought to find an abomination, we shall find a god; where we had thought to slay another, we shall slay ourselves; where we had thought to travel outward, we shall come to the center of our own existence; where we had thought to be alone, we shall be with all the world." Jos. Campbell
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Post by thebaffledking on Feb 3, 2017 18:26:23 GMT -5
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Post by thebaffledking on Feb 3, 2017 5:28:00 GMT -5
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