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Post by solodriver on Nov 21, 2016 1:00:57 GMT -5
When we went out for our anniversary dinner this year, she spent the entire time on her iPhone on the drive over, at the restaurant except when she was eating and on the way home. I felt so loved, appreciated, romanced and desired.
I was so hurt that when I went to bed that night I just couldn't stop the tears.
I am so sorry. :-( Thank you ggold. Your support means so much to me!
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Post by solodriver on Nov 20, 2016 21:50:45 GMT -5
When we went out for our anniversary dinner this year, she spent the entire time on her iPhone on the drive over, at the restaurant except when she was eating and on the way home. I felt so loved, appreciated, romanced and desired.
I was so hurt that when I went to bed that night I just couldn't stop the tears.
Hugs, my friend. Thank you so much Andie. You're a gem!
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Post by solodriver on Nov 20, 2016 18:52:34 GMT -5
I have endured years of right after dinner, (prepared and cleaned up by me) straight to the recliner, with her Ipad. She has the nerve to say " all you have to do is speak to me and I will listen, or ask me to do something and I will answer you." We all know what the answer is , a manipulative "no", with some twisted, selfish, logic. That makes my blood boil. My husband does the cooking. I am grateful for this and show it by saying thank you and cleaning up. Admittedly after clean up, we may both fart around on our phones for a bit, but if he's talking to me, my phone gets set down. It terrible to have to compete with electronics. When we went out for our anniversary dinner this year, she spent the entire time on her iPhone on the drive over, at the restaurant except when she was eating and on the way home. I felt so loved, appreciated, romanced and desired.
I was so hurt that when I went to bed that night I just couldn't stop the tears.
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Post by solodriver on Nov 20, 2016 18:44:55 GMT -5
Boy, do I know this tactic! In the 3 minutes it takes to brush my teeth she can go from playing on her phone to lights-out, "I'm nearly asleep." DC, you bring up a good point, albeit probably unintentionally. Playing on their phones. Seriously, if we're engaged in something together, whether the game is on, a movie, dinner, etc: put the fucking phone down. Now there's a new app for your cell phone - fucking!
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Post by solodriver on Nov 20, 2016 18:42:05 GMT -5
Nothing. Celibacy is a condition that I am obligated to as long as I want to stay in the house. Well, possibly an occasional last minute before bed recital of all of my shortcomings. You and I must be married to sisters who haven't met yet!
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Post by solodriver on Nov 19, 2016 2:08:27 GMT -5
I haven't gotten a hug or a kiss from my wife in 4 years now. It's so very sad to know that I will never have those things as a part of my life with her again.
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Post by solodriver on Nov 15, 2016 21:47:11 GMT -5
For those members in the U.S. next Thursday is Thanksgiving Day. I would like to hear how or what your plans are in dealing with your SM on this day.
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Post by solodriver on Nov 14, 2016 21:26:21 GMT -5
Today, or shall I say this weekend has been a bit emotional for me.... Found myself in tears off and on these last few days. I'm not one to really show emotions.... The holidays are right around the corner, and this is the first year without my mother. It's just so surreal. I know my emotions are normal however, it's just hard to experience. As always, thank you for listening to me -L Lexus, I understand how you feel. My father passed away on Christmas Day, so it's a bit of a mixed emotional holiday for me.
Warms Hugs to you my dear friend
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Post by solodriver on Nov 11, 2016 16:19:25 GMT -5
Happy Veterans Day to all the men and women that served our country.
Many paid the ultimate price, their lives. If it wasn't for each of you we wouldn't have the freedoms that we have today.
I've been fortunate to walk the beaches of Omaha and Utah, walked the rows of the Cemetery in Normandy and many places around the world that we lost service men and women.
Thank you for your service! Lexus, Thank you for your kind words. I served in the Air Force for 20 years and am a Desert Storm veteran. Having the support of people like you makes those sacrifices worth it because you understand that freedom isn't free and there are people like myself who are willing to go into harms way to protect our way of life. Hugs xxxxxxxxx
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Post by solodriver on Nov 7, 2016 22:35:43 GMT -5
JonDoe,
I also agree 100% with Wingman. In another post I shared how before joining this group I felt like everyday I would wake to go into a deep black hole until bedtime and the only hope I felt for my future was a prayer for death.. But since I joined, I've made friends on here that help me every day. I wake up and go forward with my day and when I come home in the evening I enjoy the things I do, even though I'm, still alone in a completely sexless, affectionless and very much roommate marriage. I know I have options, and I gather strength from how others deal with their situations. I no longer feel alone, I have my friends here that support me each day, so I feel normal and have confidence in myself again.
And maybe one day in the future, I will be able to enjoy a sexual relationship with someone who desires me as well.
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Post by solodriver on Nov 6, 2016 23:36:09 GMT -5
The California Central Coast is nice, but very expensive
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Post by solodriver on Nov 6, 2016 20:10:57 GMT -5
Hello Fellow ILIASM members, I confess to having been a lurker for about 3 years on EP and following you all over to here after EP closed. I found you when I was searching for sexless marriage on the internet after having lived (and still am) in one for the past 15 years and feeling lost and lonely and not knowing what to do to change the situation and looking for ideas. I feel like I know many of you after reading your posts on both EP and here and I decided I didn't want to just sit by the pool but to jump in and enjoy the fellowship and make some new friends who can truly understand how it feels and to be able to share and support you as well. I am looking forward to sharing the pool with you. I know it's not one any of us wish to be in, but we can certainly enjoy and support each other as we thread our way through this experience!
This explains why I didn't recognize your name from EP. Lurking for 3 years is a long time. I'm glad to see you here and engaging. Hopefully, you will enjoy it here .
I'm very much enjoying the friends I've made here. Since joining this group, I am no longer allowing my wife's rejection to bother me anymore. I no longer search for the why, which as is said often, really doesn't matter. I see it as her problem and one that she may very well regret one day, especially since I've tried to discuss the situation to no avail or positive response or even an attempt to try and change. I find happiness in the friendship and support I receive here and I'm working on doing the things I need to do to take care of myself. What my future holds, I'm not sure, but because of the friends I've made on here, I no longer feel like everyday is just another trip into a depressing black hole with no hope except for death.
Thank you for all that you do to support and care.
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Post by solodriver on Nov 3, 2016 2:57:08 GMT -5
My mother died ten years ago today. Overnight Halloween night, morning of November 1st, 2006, my mom woke me up screaming for me to take her to hospice. End stage metastatic lung cancer. About a month before that, we got the ‘get comfortable; get your affairs in order’ talk from the doctors. How? How do I do this? How do I carry on without the woman who raised me by herself since I was nine? I got my strength from her and I thought without her, I'd have none. Two days after Mom woke me in the middle of the night, she was gone. Sometimes I don't think I can identify as anything other than an orphan. Fast forward ten years. I am struggling in a marriage void of the physical expression of love. Couples counseling. Individual therapy. Spiritual guidance. Growth. Setbacks. Separation. Reconciliation. Fights. Apologizing. I get dizzy thinking about it. Would my mother have wanted this for me? No. What advice would she give me if she were here? I honestly don't know. On one hand, happiness was everything to her. I was her only baby and I deserve the best. On the other hand, she always taught me to take care of the things and people important to me. My husband, although full of asshattery, is important to me. My mood deepens and I become withdrawn nearly every October 31st until about November 4th or 5th, when I snap out of it. My husband thinks he has done something wrong. When I tell him it's not him, and it's just usual stuff, he doesn't understand. He thinks I'm avoiding it. Maybe I am. Maybe I just want to reflect and not have to cry my eyes out. Maybe I don't want to have my stress at work and my sorrow about my mom twisted to be about him (yes, he does this.) And he has apologized. This, I am unsure if I can forgive. I don't expect him to know what it's like to lose a parent; my in-laws are in their mid-sixties and very healthy. I expect some comfort. A hug. A foot massage. Sit with me on the couch. Or a ‘what do you need from me,’ or ‘what can I do for you?’ No. I'm alone in my sadness. Thanks for letting me vent, ILIASM peeps. Writing it out, for me, is good therapy. Hugs to you dear friend! XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
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Post by solodriver on Nov 2, 2016 2:54:13 GMT -5
I have an even broader gripe, the whole "men do this, women do that" thang. I agree. Those feminist articles totally ignore all the fine women here and do them a great disservice. I agree, I think the women here are the best in the world. And that's not an exaggeration because we do have wonderful women from all over the world with us here!
I appreciate each and every one of them!
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Post by solodriver on Oct 30, 2016 18:24:43 GMT -5
I would've married her again, but since I learned that I wasn't the only one in a sexless marriage and that I did have options, I would have acted on those options sooner. I had been told that marriages going sexless is a normal course and that was part of the "for better or worse" part of the vow I took when I got married. Thanks to EP and all the wonderful folks here, I'm learned that I'm not alone, there are ways to deal with it and to receive and give support to each other as we deal with it.
Rhapsodee, I spent 20 years in the Air Force and got married twice. Both of them ended up sexless. Not sure you being in the military would've prevented it from happening.
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