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Post by worksforme2 on Dec 26, 2022 15:23:16 GMT -5
I don't think it's a good idea to date only one person at a time until you know a person well enough to know you are compatible. I would not expect a man to be dating only me until we each agreed after at least a few weeks -- that we were a couple and were going to be monogamous. I'd want to feel like I knew them reasonably well before making such a decision. FWIW, post SM lover asked me in December, 10 years ago, on a date that was 2 months later. He already was someone I was acquainted with as we were in the same theatre troupe, but I didn't know him well. When we went to dinner and a play in February, I got to know him better and learned we had similar values and interests. I also had checked him out with some of our mutual friends and learned he was a responsible and kind hearted person. Other than hand holding, we didn't do anything physical with each other on that date. We went on perhaps 3 more dates over the next 3 months (my schedule was crazy because I was having to memorize lines for 2 plays), and finally slept together in May (we'd made out on earlier dates so I knew we had chemistry). I had him get STD tested beforehand. I also got STD tested. And I still insisted on condoms. Due to our being sexually and otherwise compatible, we kept seeing each other. I'd told him that I wanted both of us to be monagamous, and he agreed, but, still, I didn't know how honest he was so that's why I insisted on condoms for the first several months. By August, we had evolved from friends with benefits (which was what I wanted originally) to being a couple and I stopped insisting on condoms. If a guy asked me out and told me he only dated one person at a time, I'd be worried. I'd either think he was lying or would fear that he was very impulsive. I know that women you've met on-line have told you they only date men who are only dating them, but I think that's very premature.I want to know and trust someone -- and feel confident in our compatability -- before dating only that man. Keep in mind, that when it comes to sex, I'm monogamous, but a first or second date may or may not lead to a relationship. No reason to cut off my options early. In my limited dating experience, you would be the exception to the rule. My experience has been that women want to be exclusive almost immediately. Monogamy seems to be high on the list of boxes that need to be checked. If a man volunteers he intends to date others (unless the woman has made it clear she only wants to date) he is likely to be crossed off her list of potential paramours. Read a few dating profiles from women. Often you will read that being a "one woman man" is a requirement. Since neither of you have met I think it safe to assume they are saying monogamy from the 1st date forward.
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Post by worksforme2 on Dec 26, 2022 10:18:37 GMT -5
I am in agreement with your son. I recently struck up a conversation with a woman on POF. At first, she seemed eager to meet and see if we connected. But then every time I tried to set up something she always had a reason she was not available. We are both Debbie comes across as somewhat self- centered. You are younger than me but perhaps women in your age demographic are like many females in my demographic, they talk a good game, but they won't walk the walk. Don't waste your time, she is basically just trolling the waters. And if it were me, I would have a talk with whoever thought the 2 of you would be a good match. In the vernacular of the oil industry, Debbie is a dry hole.
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Post by worksforme2 on Dec 23, 2022 7:34:11 GMT -5
welcome back diode,....hopefully your experience this time at ILIASM will be more rewarding and that the current membership will be helpful when you get round to sharing your story.
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Post by worksforme2 on Dec 22, 2022 8:52:20 GMT -5
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Post by worksforme2 on Dec 16, 2022 12:00:37 GMT -5
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Post by worksforme2 on Dec 12, 2022 11:05:01 GMT -5
She has her christmas haircut next week. I will book a local massage for me whilst she is out, not a happy ending one. That's a dirty rotten shame......everyone deserves a happy ending.
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Post by worksforme2 on Dec 9, 2022 13:24:38 GMT -5
There were many Sunday mornings when I awoke asking this very question. I could have used Seri or Alexi back then.... Attachments:
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Post by worksforme2 on Dec 8, 2022 6:56:37 GMT -5
Over the last couple years or so I have gotten used to seeing 4am on a very regular basis. It's rare for me to sleep an entire 8 hours unless I am exhausted from not sleeping. I have to take a bathroom break, usually around 3:30am. And more often than not I cannot get back to sleep. Count yourself lucky if you only see 4am as a random event.
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Post by worksforme2 on Dec 1, 2022 13:23:57 GMT -5
northstarmom's analysis above is spot on. I had fought this economic premise repeatedly during my 2nd marriage. I agonized about divorcing when thinking of the years we had together. But eventually I went back to my old college econ classes and remembered one cannot recover sunk costs. Relationships should always take this into account. Focus on the present and the future. Learn from this mistake and apply the lesson to how you live going forward.
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Post by worksforme2 on Nov 28, 2022 17:58:26 GMT -5
Pretty sure this is a country song Looking for love in all the wrong places... 😉🤣 But what I find most strange is that the majority of women who do initiate contact more often than not live far away. Why a woman would think 75 to 100 miles is a good distance in a dating partner. What are they thinking? Looking for love in all the wrong places...I 1st heard that song in a John Travolta movie...Urban Cowboy
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Post by worksforme2 on Nov 28, 2022 8:08:36 GMT -5
I don't think one can take a lot from this article as any sort of expectation. There is just too much in the way of variables. As to my own experience I would have to say I have had far more luck IRL initiating conversations and approaching a woman I find appealing. Grocery stores are one of my favorite places to start a conversation with a woman. So far my experience on dating apps shows me that very attractive women never initiate a conversation, at least not with me. But what I find most strange is that the majority of women who do initiate contact more often than not live far away. Why a woman would think 75 to 100 miles is a good distance in a dating partner. What are they thinking?
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Post by worksforme2 on Nov 26, 2022 9:23:46 GMT -5
I have a cousin who lives in Michigan. Decades ago, his father-in-law had health issues beginning to really manifest themselves. The f-i-l was in his 70's at the time. My cousin thinking "how much longer cam he live"? invited him to move in. He lived for 17 more years. That is some real staying power.
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Staying
Nov 26, 2022 9:17:42 GMT -5
Post by worksforme2 on Nov 26, 2022 9:17:42 GMT -5
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Post by worksforme2 on Nov 24, 2022 4:42:01 GMT -5
It is the Charlie Brown and Lucy syndrome. Lucy puts up the ball for Charlie and he hopes this time she will not move it as he kicks. And yup, there he is again flst on his back. My wife says things will change, plays flirty, suggests and then whoops, not tonight. Not now, maybe later. She has no intention of changing. She is deluding herself as much as me. So, like Charlie Brown, it is up to me not to play. I heard that same response so many times that if I had a dollar for every time I could probably go out for dinner and a movie. It finally stopped when i decided not to play anymore. I doubt that she is deluding herself about what she is intending to do. Unless you mean she is thinking she will never have to worry about your taking a stand in reclaiming your self-respect.
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Post by worksforme2 on Nov 22, 2022 5:18:40 GMT -5
welcome notwhatisignedupfor,...Glad that you found the site. I hope it and the membership provides you with some helpful advice and brings you some comfort in knowing you are not alone in going through the trials of a SM
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