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Post by worksforme2 on May 27, 2023 10:40:25 GMT -5
If you want to get laid, you'll probably need to move of pay. That's what you're learning. There just aren't a lot of eligible women in your area. You're probably getting matched with younger women because that's who's on the sites. That is pretty much the lesson here. I really can't move as I care for my grandchildren 3 sometimes 4 days a week. My moving would put my son in a precarious position. So I may be looking to negiotate a lower price based on repeat business. More research is required.
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Post by worksforme2 on May 27, 2023 9:26:01 GMT -5
I have spent the last 3-4 months on a # of dating sites. I have been very disappointed thus far. As i sit here typing I am weighting which of the sites is probably the worst, or most worthless from my perspective. It's really hard to decide as they all have missed the mark by a considerable margin. It's probably a combination of things that make the sites less than helpful for me. 1st is probably my location. I live in a rural county. Until a decade ago there were more cows than people. And it is a fair piece to the closest large city. The idea of having to drive 50 or more miles for a date puts me in a bad mood before I even get there. And I have yet to see a single woman in my age demographi close to where I live. 2nd is the lack of acceptable prospects. What few women there are in my age demographic are more often than not on the large size. When I do see someone that is height/weight proportional she is almost alwys hundreds of miles away. I don't know who creates the algorythems for these sites. If I were the accountant at POF, Match, OK Cupid I'd be demanding my money back..On all the sites I am matched up with women that are young enough too be my daughters. Nothing wrong with a younger woman, just not 30-40 yrs younger. So yesterday I found myself pulling up local escorts. Pretty expensive to get my oil changed but getting deep throated or some back door action might be worth the price, once a month or so.
PS....I am just in a funk because the Trimix gets my dick hard as a brick and I have no where to put it.Maybe I should throw away my testosterone and Trimix. Maybe I would not be this frustrated. But I cannot seem to get comfortable with the thought that I will never F*uck another woman.
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Post by worksforme2 on May 25, 2023 7:45:03 GMT -5
At college many years ago a friend tried a blow up doll. He said he freaked out as when he thrusted all the air was pumped into the head and hands causing weird expansions. Slightly tempted by the several thousand dollar realistic dolls, now with AI!!! But still mega creepy At the risk of being repetative,....when you turn out the light and use your imagination, that doll can be any woman you can imagine. If you happen to be loyal to the monarchy, even the Queen.
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Post by worksforme2 on May 24, 2023 9:11:29 GMT -5
Might as well buy a blow up doll as lie on top of a passive, zone out wife methinks The blowup dolls I have seen do not look very realistic, but I suppose if one was to pull the doll close in the middle of a dark night, it could transform into any woman one could imagine it to be. But for myself I think i would spend a few more dollars and get a more realistic synthetic verson with a vigina modeled after a favorite porn star, or maybe Gynath Paltro.
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Post by worksforme2 on May 24, 2023 6:27:05 GMT -5
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Post by worksforme2 on May 20, 2023 15:29:25 GMT -5
exhaustedandhurtmb,.....I'm afraid I have to get in the boat with jim44444 and mirrororchid. By that I mean I am of the opinion your W has contracted HPV recently. You can thank your lucky stars she hasn't passed it along to you. It reads to me like at a minumum she is having an emotional affair with the new friend. She shares with him what is happening in your home and marriage. He is her confident now and not so much you anymore. My thoughts are it is probably more than that, ergo the HPV. You should not think that just because your W does not find you sexually attractive, she will not find that someone else has the right stuff. I think you are beating a dead horse laying off the failing sexlife on her acne medication. But let's say you are correct. Even if you are right it doesn't change anything for you as she seems unwilling to speak to a doctor about a different med. One that might not kill her libido. Not having a libido means she doesn't miss intimacy. She probably never thinks about it, so she doesn't miss it. Menopause was a major factor in my X's loss of libido. There are HRT meds my X could have looked into, but her response to that suggestion was that she already took enough meds for high blood pressure and feeling depressed. If you are sure the acne pills are what is killing her libido and you intend to stay faithful in the marriage, you might want to consider getting a prescription for yourself.
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Post by worksforme2 on May 16, 2023 7:16:16 GMT -5
I think you mean 0.2ml You are correct. Typo error,....
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Post by worksforme2 on May 10, 2023 9:15:14 GMT -5
Thanks. that is real helpful advice. Something else recommended by my urologist is a device somewhat like a cockring, it does seem to be pretty effective. www.xialla.comI don't know about this device for me. I don't (haven't) had an issue with leakage. I have always been somewhat long winded when it comes to an erection. I usually take 30-45 minutes to ejaculate, ocassionally longer. I have had partners that didn't enjoy going for that long. So I am thinking for me the issue is if I don't ejaculate I am going to need a mechanism to make the erection go down. It can be both a blessing and a curse.
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Post by worksforme2 on May 9, 2023 13:44:25 GMT -5
That is really interesting, thanks for sharing. I actually got a prescription for tri-mix last week, tried out the (Dr Recommended) dose of .2ml, worked like a charm and got a boner of hardness I haven't seen for quite some time. I did ejaculate OK (well sort of, I tend to shoot blanks these days) and boner went away right after. (This was a solo session btw, purely as an experiment as I was super curious to see how well it worked ) I intend to try it with my lady friend either today or tomorrow and I think I will increase the dose a little, possibly up to .25 ml. I am hoping this is the answer as Viagra and Cialis have both had minimal effect. Sounds like you are doing well. Did your doctor say anything about Sudafed or Sudogest or other medications if your erection does not want to go away. Also if that happens an ice pack applied to the erection or just below the scrotem is supposed to be effective. I have read that a cold shower also works. IAt my age (74) a dose of 2ml is appropriate, but that doseage is way too much for me, as is 1.5 ml it seems. I will be trying a dose of .5ml later this week to see how that goes. If you want to keep some Sudafed or Sudogest aroung just in case, it's really cheap Just be sure you get the medication that is behuind the counter that you have to sign for. Don't get the stuff that is on the shelf with all the other otc cold medicines.
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Post by worksforme2 on May 9, 2023 6:34:36 GMT -5
Correct, I am trying the injectable form. Figureing out the correct dosage is taking considerable time. Not concerned about my partner being in contact with this medication. But there are other considerations. Haing a prolonged erection (over 4 hrs) can be damaging to the penis, possibly resulting in losing the ability to have an erection. So the amount of foreplay time, oral sex for her time all weigh into it. Information about how long it takes to loose the erection is really scarce. Nothing so far as to does ejaculating help the erection go down or not. I am probably going to have to see the Urologist again to get my questions answered. Nitroglycerin therapy is something I haven't heard of and the Urologist didn't mention it in either of our meetings. I will read up on this. Thanks....
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Post by worksforme2 on May 8, 2023 12:23:58 GMT -5
Getting a boner has been steadily becoming more difficult as time passes. Pills often don't do the job anymore. So I saw a Urologist about a month ago. After the initial visit and answering a bunch of guestions I was evaluated as being moderate on the ED spectrum. After a follow up and discussing the various treatment options we agreed to go with TriMix, a combination of 3 drugs often prposcribed for ED.I was told it would be a trial and error thing to figure out the right dosage for me. I initially started witha dosage of .1 ml. Had zero effect. So a week later I increased the dosage to .2 ml. DAMN !!!!! I had what was probably the biggest and hardest erection in my life. And when I ejaculated I nearly called out to my God for help. But then my erection didn't want to go away. Fortunately the pharmisist who compounded the TriMix had included a medication called Sudoget, a nasal decongestant of all things. After about an hour and 30-40 minutes my erection slowly disappated. So 2 was too much. I next tried 1.5. Again I had a great erection. But I was unable to ejaculate, and I really had trouble getting the erection down. It took 4 hours and 6 pills before my penis stopped pointing skyward. ( 2 pills worked the 1st time) I don't know if not ejaculating played a role in how long it took for my erection to go down or not. I need to do more research to see how important the role of an ejaculation is. Talked with the pharmisist who compounded the TriMix. He said to drop it to .5 ml on my next try. He also said he would call my Urologist and recommend a prescription for phenylephrine. It's what I would get at the hospital if I ended up there in dealing with my erection issue. This is turning into a hell of a learning experience..... On the positive side I am getting pretty good at talking to female pharmisists (3) about dealing with a stubborn erection.....
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Post by worksforme2 on Apr 29, 2023 8:45:23 GMT -5
BIG question; do you LOVE her or just her ability to provide sex ? IF you DO, learn to cope and encourage her to participate to the best of her ability. IF she LOVES you, she will. If NOT, leave. I was in your circumstance 40 years ago .....EXACTLY. Realized I deeply loved her and every single thing about her with the exception of her asexual nature. She loved me as much and we compromise. NO REGRETS !!! I went back to read your initial posts. This is quite a dramatic change from your origional feelings. What does the compromise consist of, that you are now willing to accept what was before not acceptable for you? Or was her part of the compromise a dramatic shift from her previous actions/inactions?
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Post by worksforme2 on Apr 27, 2023 9:27:38 GMT -5
The irony of this also struck me. But I am giving her the benefit of the doubt. Perhaps she sees the car and house as means to an end. Both seem necessary if one is to thrive in our society. I've been reading this woman's stories for over two years now, and know that her ex narc H was extremely successful at taking everything. So a car and a house are reasonable goals. Then there's the other 99% of her article that I liked reading and agree with! Was there anything about her article that you liked? or agreed with? I like the way she surmised the years of struggle as non profitable. I also think I looked at my SM as nonprofitable. What should have been a really good pairing ended as a loss for both of us. Her loss for being unwilling to favor me and my needs as opposed to favoring the opinions of her sexless soriety sisters. And a loss for me for not finding a way to get my sexual and intimacy needs met while remaining in the marriage. And I liked the tenacity with which she clung to being the person she really was inside. In my case I did basically the same. I refused to become the sexless male she wanted. I ended the scenerio where she made all the decisions regarding my emotional and physical needs, and returned to persueing the things that went a long way toward a more fulfilled life for me. I am still doing that.
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Post by worksforme2 on Apr 26, 2023 5:29:39 GMT -5
"I am the girl who grew up in the country outside of metropolitan Washington, D.C. chasing the magic of fireflies, dogs, and horses."
She has a vision board. When she decided to add pictures to resurrect her old self, she chose a car and house. The irony of this also struck me. But I am giving her the benefit of the doubt. Perhaps she sees the car and house as means to an end. Both seem necessary if one is to thrive in our society.
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Post by worksforme2 on Apr 24, 2023 7:31:54 GMT -5
While worksforme2's suggestion to have his t-level and thyroid level checked is good in that problems with either can cause low libido, your man doesn't seem troubled by his low libido. To me, that indicates that he never has been a sexual person. This is just the way he is. My experience has been that men who love sex will seek help if their libidos drop. They don't feel like men if they aren't sexual. At least that's the way my post-SM partner has been. He'd always been a high-libido person, but when his libido dropped, he saw his doctor, got his t-level tested, started taking testosterone, and uses Cialis, too. He wasn't even involved in a relationship then. He did it because he didn't feel like himself. I've also seen a doctor when my libido dropped even when I was sexless in a sexless marriage. I didn't feel like myself. Thus, I think if you have to push your low libido man to get checked out, he's probably just not a sexual person and is happy with being low libido. Thus, he's not compatible with you, a high-libido person.His lack of sexual interest isn't your fault nor is it something you can change. You can set yourself free to find a partner who is sexually compatible. It could well be that he has always been low libido. If that is the case then he may well not recognise his condition for what it is. He may think he is perfectly normal and that it is his W who is over active. I am just speculating but if he doesn't have period in his life where he was very sexually active then he would have no reason to think his testosterone may be low or his level of lack of desire for sex was not normal.
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