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Post by worksforme2 on Apr 8, 2023 7:29:55 GMT -5
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Post by worksforme2 on Apr 7, 2023 8:13:39 GMT -5
How about hello 3:30 am. What happened you ask? A line of thunder storms passed over my abode. I'm not an especially light sleeper so I can usually ignor the thunder. My dog is another case. Ahe goes ape when the thunder rolls. So naturally she has to have her human awake to comfort her and make sure the mean ol' thunder doesn't get her.
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Post by worksforme2 on Apr 6, 2023 19:19:10 GMT -5
In my case I can definitively state that the dating, increased attention, choreplay and all the acts of supposedly positive affermation a man can iniate did nothing to improve the intimacy in my marriage. I cleaned, I cooked, I bought flowers, I complimented her clothing choices, the whole bit to no avail. The only action that brought positive results was when I told her I wanted a FWB so as to have intimace in my life. For a short period she became sexual again but it didn't last. After 3 monthe she reverted back to her asexual behavior. When she did this I decided i no longer wanted a FWB, I wanted a divorce. Read the stories here. I don't think you will find one where doing all the things you mentioned brought about a renewal of sexual energy and committment to an intimate marrage, nope never happened.
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Post by worksforme2 on Apr 4, 2023 5:12:15 GMT -5
The biggest complant I have about dating pics is that often as not they are not real portrayals of what the poster actually looks like. I can't count the number of 60-70 year old women who post a picture of themselves when in their 40's or 50's, or even younger. I have had the experience of meeting for coffee or an adult beverage and not being able to recognise the woman in real life. I'll take a current partial pic any time over a great photo of the other person that is 20-30 years out of date. Maybe men posting do the same thing. But for me, if the pic is too good to be true I keep going to the next woman posting a real likeness of themselves.
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Post by worksforme2 on Apr 3, 2023 8:46:39 GMT -5
I don't have much patience for a man who will not try to do what needs doing when it comes to his performance in bed. A little over a decade ago when i recognized my W and I were not very active anymoreI did some quick analysis and I realised I was rarely initiating anymore. So I had my T checked. Turns out it was way way low. Started taking some shots once a week. In a about a month my libido came roaring bank. Unfortunately my then W had pretty much lost her desire due to menapause . We never really recovered from the drop in intimacy and after a couple years of trying every approach and piece of advice I could find, I gave up and began distancing myself from her. Soon after wards we began talking about a divorce. The fact that your H doesn't even want to consider different medication and that he won't talk to his doctor says volumns about how he views you and the marriage.
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Post by worksforme2 on Mar 18, 2023 10:33:07 GMT -5
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Post by worksforme2 on Mar 17, 2023 7:26:40 GMT -5
This may be one of the rare instances that we can actually figure out the "why" without doing much chasing... Attachments:
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Post by worksforme2 on Mar 17, 2023 7:23:26 GMT -5
Saw a new acremyn this morning,...STFUATHDLAGG....I wish this had been around during my SM...
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Post by worksforme2 on Mar 17, 2023 7:21:14 GMT -5
That is indeed a common tactic for refusers. The refused spouse is selfish or only cares about sex. Damn perverts! Gee, maybe I am selfish and too obsessed with....it's only sex. Is there a term for what I call "the dodge?" That's when sex is refused, but the refuser can show they care about you by doing another task that's nice, but incredibly insignificant compared to marital intimacy. It's a substitute for intimacy. A suffering refused spouse can recognize the counterfeit: "Hey, I made your favorite breakfast, I care." I have this experience all the time. She spends months not touching me and I call attention to it as unloving behavior. She responds by saying that she just got me some trinket for Christmas that she had engraved with some sappy expression of love and that should prove she loves me even without physical contact. In a takeoff on the immortal words of the late, great George "Kingfish" Stevens....Do the words Gas lighting strike a familiar note?
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Post by worksforme2 on Mar 12, 2023 12:44:45 GMT -5
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Post by worksforme2 on Mar 9, 2023 15:35:53 GMT -5
I can relate to your plight. I have been out of my SM for nearly 8 yrs. I can remember twisting myself into a pretzel trying to make things work. Lots of anxiety during that time. You don't mention any aspect of ASM in your post so maybe that isn't the focal point of your being here. Whatever your situation I hope you find something useful for yourself here and that your reading of the countless posts brings you some comfort.
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Post by worksforme2 on Mar 1, 2023 10:03:23 GMT -5
Man regrets transitioning after experience of waiting at woman's bathrooms... Attachments:
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Post by worksforme2 on Feb 28, 2023 7:52:28 GMT -5
"triage and triaging" I had to look up the meaning ! A new word for me! :-) I have found it useful as a way to frame the dating process in a metropolitan city. I see a lot of people who move straight toward another marriage without a lot of reflection or pause on breaking patterns in their own behavior, including partner selection, or even being the kind of person that another type seeks, and putting the brakes on that to see if something else works better. I ask a lot of questions, when the women I'm with open with establishing how little urgency they have in dating. It isn't necessarily confrontational, and often is an illuminating conversation about intimacy, fairly early in a "get to know you". I always try to have a conversation on a first date that would likely be too familiar or work-inappropriate with a colleague. Doesn't mean lewd, but it does let me know if they are open, authentic, and game enough to do this kind of dating (meeting on a dating app and showing up to talk). In some cases, it's context-dependent - intended to put the brakes on any fast track to bed that night - which they might have encountered in previous meetups with other guys. It's good to bring that to light, and often fun to compare funny dating stories and horror shows. In other cases, is an ego-protective thing or aimed at establishing value or credibility. Maybe a way of lowering her own stakes and expectations of a night. But I'm often shocked at how often the FWB-as-a-dating-strategy thing comes up, without any reflection on how that might appear to a new date prospect. The context in which that's offered is often like drinking water before a meal to fill up as a dieting tip. If it's either that, or something where someone truly seems to have too much complexity around sexuality, I'm fine to cut bait and spend my attention elsewhere. I agree with this methodology as part of a 1st date. After the general stuff of 1st date conversations is pretty much done, if I am still in the game, I move the discussion on to things of an intimate nature. How does she feel about intimacy? What does she like, or what is a deal breaker for her? I am no longer surprised at how open and straight forward most women are about voicing their thoughts on sex. Most often I hear a response along the lines of they like all the things I also like. If there is reluctance during a 1st meet then I have to gage if the reluctance is such that it constitutes a call for me to end my pursuit of this particular woman. I am surprised at your experience with the FWB strategy on the part of your companions. I have never had a woman bring this into a conversation. But then again neither have I. My most common experience is having women speak to or around monogamy or fidelity in the relationship. Most often they are insistent that dating should be limited to one person at the time. I don't see that as a negative necessarily, if the context of the conversation is comfortable to me. And you are right that delving into sexual preferences (dislikes) should absolutely be in a 1st conversation. No sense wasting time and resources on someone who probably isn't compatible with you.
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Post by worksforme2 on Feb 13, 2023 10:21:40 GMT -5
Candy kisses and boxes of chocolate time is almost here. How about a view of Valentine's Day from an ILIASM viewpoint? Attachments:
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Post by worksforme2 on Feb 13, 2023 9:49:26 GMT -5
None of that is going to work here. It's clear from the story that she already views angeleyes65 with disgust and contempt and that there are deeply ingrained issues around sex, and that if these are questioned as a strategy, that there are fallback medical issues as well. Opening a relationship? Anal? Toys in the bed? For a person who views her husband as a "sex addict"? Come on. You may well be right, but my own experience tells me introducing a different perspective can bring about a least a temporary change in the relationship. This poor guy has been through the wringer. It may just give rise to a false hope, but in leu of your seeming to conclude there is no hope for this poster, I prefer to exhaust a potential possibility for some improvement via differing approaches. Most refusers probably view the members here as sex addicts. But there are some stories here that represent turn arounds or spouses compromising to save their marriage. Is it a log shot? Without a doubt it is. But I prefer long shot to no shot. PS....I don't think you meant angeleyes65, but kpslick.
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