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Post by maribelspence on Mar 9, 2023 9:14:50 GMT -5
I feel very unhappy (or rather relieved) that there are other people who also experience loneliness and frustration in relationships. I respect my partner, but he doesn't seem to respect me as much. He is passive-aggressive, doesn't tell me how he feels and hides a lot from me. I want us to be real participants in life, to get friends together with a friend and grow together, but he doesn't seem to be as committed to that. I can't change him and have changed myself many times for our relationship. But it takes two to dance and I feel like I'm dancing alone.
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Post by northstarmom on Mar 9, 2023 13:45:03 GMT -5
Welcome to this site. You'll get a lot of useful info by reading this site. It also can help to create a thread in the Sexless Marriage forum describing your situation.
I've been out of my SM for 10 years and my experience was that by comparison to my experience trying to accommodate my refuser, I am happier being the real me and being out of my SM.
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Post by worksforme2 on Mar 9, 2023 15:35:53 GMT -5
I can relate to your plight. I have been out of my SM for nearly 8 yrs. I can remember twisting myself into a pretzel trying to make things work. Lots of anxiety during that time. You don't mention any aspect of ASM in your post so maybe that isn't the focal point of your being here. Whatever your situation I hope you find something useful for yourself here and that your reading of the countless posts brings you some comfort.
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Post by mirrororchid on Mar 9, 2023 19:20:40 GMT -5
I had a similar thought, Worksforme2.
It does sound as though you're doing a lot of heavy lifting, Ms. Mariblespence; hoping for togetherness? To live as a couple?
Do you do things without him when he's not cooperating with plans to be sociable?
My wife has clinical depression, poorly controlled with medication. I had and still have a habit of being home with her, when I think I'd prefer leaving the house to do something more engaging. I gave up lots of hobbies and social groups. I'm adding them back now. Life is full, but guilt for living without her is an issue, It feels wrong. It's recovery from co-dependency, I think.
Maybe you've got that going on too.
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