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Post by elkclan2 on Jun 7, 2018 3:39:43 GMT -5
Actually baza - I will definitely credit OKC with a pretty good match algorithm - while I had dates with no chemistry, I didn't have any that were 'disasters' where the matching percent was high. While it can't pick out 'love' it can definitely pick out someone you can (usually) pass an evening with without any awkward pauses in conversation! The rest I agree with you on completely. But yes, it is luck. I'm quite lucky I did happen to encounter my partner through OKC. |
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Post by greatcoastal on Jun 7, 2018 5:28:29 GMT -5
Any business (apart from Co-Ops and not for profits etc) have a simple raison d'être. To make money. For the owners of the business and/or the shareholders if it is a listed Company. Companies like OKC are no different. They are not there to look after your best interests, they are there to look after their best interests, which is, to make money. The idea is to hit up the punters for money which entitles you access to a data base of people who may or may not be interested in rooting you. OKC could not give a shit whether you find a person who wants to root you or not (although for marketing strategies they are very keen indeed to give the impression that they care deeply) As long as you have ponyed up the requisite fee(s) OKC's mission is complete. And personally, I haven't got a problem with that. Sure, they may be acting unethically, even dishonestly, but they are in no way unique in that. Take the banks in my jurisdiction for example. A parlimentary enquiry into the financial services industry has revealed appalling conduct and dishonesty within that industry. Anyway, back to OKC, I am pretty sure that there are a couple of members here who got lucky and met on OKC. I would just note that "got lucky" are the operative words. They did not meet because of the superior and sound business practices of OKC, nor did they meet because of the highly professional screening processes of OKC either. Nor did they meet because of the stand out customer service skills of OKC. They got lucky. They could just have easily met by complete accident at the front bar of the Terminus Hotel in my town. I found the reviews from sitejabber.com the most helpful. It's different from the rest. They are from multiple customers who paid to join, they are dated, so you can tell what is recently happening on these sights. Other reviews simply give you a rundown of the format of how the site is written ,and avoid the reality of how it is now operated. Once you realize that these are all one big billion dollar industries owned by one company (match) most any and all reviews can ,and are, hired and paid for by that company. (Be highly skeptical of reviews in general since employees can write in positive reviews or paid writers get hired to do the same. (my psychologist warned me about that when it came to hiring attorneys and psychologists, how he gets inundated with offers of writers who will write positive reviews for a price) These are the reasons why I asked if anyone on here has joined recently,, within the last 6 months. |
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Post by WindSister on Jun 7, 2018 6:38:45 GMT -5
It's a way to meet people.
That's it.
I liked it, most of the time, but I approached it with curiosity. Who would I meet?
I met my now husband on Eharmony. Yeah, I can see now how people want to say I just got lucky, but I also firmly believe our attitudes have at least a little something to do with it. I was open to meet the love of my life, and felt worthy. I wasn't closed off and shut down.
I was ignoring this thread, though, because that was years and years ago, so I'm happily out of that loop now!
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Post by greatcoastal on Jun 7, 2018 7:12:38 GMT -5
@windsister, I'm glad for both you and your H. (I love your stories! ) Too bad these dating/hookup sights are no longer what they started out to be. ( and newer, smaller ones form all the time without a single member, all bots, and fantasy images...scam sights) I wouldn't give them a nickle!
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Post by greatcoastal on Jun 7, 2018 8:12:57 GMT -5
greatcoastal awesome to hear you are getting back out there, or trying. I have to say that I cannot possibly stomach the idea of on line dating. I really cannot stomach the idea of dating. Every partner I have ever had, including my h, I have met through experiences- activities, travel, etc. I just have to believe this is still a possible way to meet people! I know misssunnybunny has not had so much success but.... I have to believe. We should start a club of non-online daters!! We could meet online! HAHA... Stomaching the idea of dating has taken me years. I will testify that my current situation makes it easier to want to attempt dating again. Getting to my situation took a lot of work!! It continues, even today. It's all about rebuilding, and restoring. (getting over fears and years of brainwashing that I am not worthy, and whatever I say or do is never Good enough) I feel way better prepared to spot red flags , have the strength to be bold, take risks, approach woman, and handle rejection. The HARDEST for me is rejecting someone else- I've got to work on that. I like how baza put it" I now have solvable problems". Too bad online dating has fallen apart. I feel ready to communicate, on line, on the phone, and in person. About the only thing I was looking for was someone my age and in my area. Online can't deliver that. Getting fake, bot. ,replies from computer images in California, Germany, Australia, of woman 21 and 25 yrs old? A waste of time. |
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Post by flyingsolo on Jul 21, 2018 17:53:39 GMT -5
Why not join Meetup and find some groups in your area that you are interested in? There's pretty much a group for everything if you live near a major metropolitan area and if there isn't, you can start one. I just discovered it myself and may check it out. Of course, I'm still married and won't be looking to hook up with anyone, but I'm considering it to make some new friends at this point and get out there a bit more.
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Post by greatcoastal on Jul 22, 2018 18:59:10 GMT -5
Why not join Meetup and find some groups in your area that you are interested in? There's pretty much a group for everything if you live near a major metropolitan area and if there isn't, you can start one. I just discovered it myself and may check it out. Of course, I'm still married and won't be looking to hook up with anyone, but I'm considering it to make some new friends at this point and get out there a bit more. I'd like to hear some successful, recent, Meetup ( made friends/relationships through going to Meetup events) stories! When i say' successful' I mean meeting someone who you can then date. More than just learning someone's first name. Think about those of us who are recovering from a SM and what our needs are? That yearning to know that you are desirable, physically and mentally by someone of the opposite sex. |
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Post by worksforme2 on Jul 22, 2018 20:41:50 GMT -5
I've spent several hours reading reviews on hook up sights and dating sights. Also I read everything that's been posted on here regarding Tinder, POF ,Match , Fling, MILF, and OKCupid. Much of the testimonies from the fine group of people on here seem to be dated around 2016/2017 they reflect older reviews of those sights and what they where like then. Reviews today are full of people who where banned for no reason and scammed out of their money. Then there's the fine print , that tells you the majority of these men and woman are " fantasy images" their responses are computer generated, or by paid staff,also that your own pictures and info. are now their property and can be used as they see fit for however long they want. Your emails to honest , good , men or woman never reach them, and or you now have to continue to pay to see if anyone has even liked your profile ( for the few that even read it) POF won't post a man's picture. Then their is the vast majority of people who have left these sights years ago and their profiles remain. Generating more revenue for the owners and more disappointment and heartbreak for the new user of these sights. The paid staff, or computers, know how to give you a dozen or more replies from people who don't exist. Once you pay more money to find out who they are, you then receive no more replies for months until it's time to renew your subscription, then you magically start getting replies again from the computer fantasy images. Sadly it's gone so far downhill that the entire industry sounds like a big scam to get your money, continue to bill you, sell your info to other sights and advertisers, and could care less with people meeting or hooking up with others. www.sitejabber.com/reviews/tinder.com One reply I found the most helpful is titled ""Tinder The Final Insult" by sailaway on 5/06/2018. Reading so many of these negative reviews of people who have recently been scammed on these "dating/hookup sights" I have to wonder, "why should I feel like my results would be any different?" That I should save my time and money. Similar to the advice that's given out on here regarding a SM, "don't waste your time and mMoney, run the other way". My friend someone has been feeding you some bad intel. It's true that many of the dating site use bots but at least one does not require you to fork over one thin dime to become a member. That would be POF. They do have a disclaimer that reads "some of the photos could be from members at other sites and not real members at POF". But since it doesn't cost anything to email another party you can quickly discover if the person of interest to you is real or not. My personal experience using this site has been mixed. I live out in the country and it's about 40 miles to the closest major city so there aren't a lot of candidates for me in my area. However I have met 6 or 8 women, dated 3 of them and had sex with 2. I could have dated more and perhaps had sex with a few more of them but I'm not interested in long distance relationships. I would say POF is still worth the effort. Just remember that just like in real life a lot of things can come into play, including luck. But it's like we say here in goods ol' NC, even a blind squirrel finds an acorn now and then. |
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Post by bballgirl on Jul 22, 2018 21:15:40 GMT -5
I did meet three or four men on pof and tinder but mainly pof that were nice men and looking for a genuine relationship but for different reasons I wasn’t attracted to them and I didn’t want to waste their time.
The man from Tinder met someone and he’s in a relationship now. I know because he FB friended me right away and I get his feeds. He seems happy and I’m happy for him.
Another man I met on POF he’s in a relationship with a woman. I didn’t care for him because all he did was complain about his job.
Another man from POF messaged me last week to see how things are going for me. I know he would like to date me. He and I did not have much in common.
I liked POF the most. It was free. There are real people on the sites but it’s tough to meet the right one but if you don’t try then you definitely won’t.
I recommend if you meet someone for the first time it should just be a cup of coffee at a Starbucks or Panera.
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Post by choosinghappy on Jul 23, 2018 6:23:40 GMT -5
Why not join Meetup and find some groups in your area that you are interested in? There's pretty much a group for everything if you live near a major metropolitan area and if there isn't, you can start one. I just discovered it myself and may check it out. Of course, I'm still married and won't be looking to hook up with anyone, but I'm considering it to make some new friends at this point and get out there a bit more. I'd like to hear some successful, recent, Meetup ( made friends/relationships through going to Meetup events) stories! When i say' successful' I mean meeting someone who you can then date. More than just learning someone's first name. Think about those of us who are recovering from a SM and what our needs are? That yearning to know that you are desirable, physically and mentally by someone of the opposite sex. Prior to meeting my H a dozen years ago I was very active in a meet-up group and ended up becoming an event planner. I met hundreds of people, and had some wonderful times and adventures. Almost ALL of my closest friendships now were borne out of that group and I also ended up in a relationship of about a year with a man I met there. I would 100% recommend putting yourself out there and joining meet up groups. There is no downside: you can choose the activities you like to do and then do those things with other likeminded individuals, try new things, make new friends and possibly even find a romantic partner. If you don’t like it just don’t go again! But something to keep in mind is that everyone there is for the same reason and everyone feels the way you do with some apprehension. |
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Post by baza on Jul 23, 2018 6:33:24 GMT -5
Our esteemed Brother Dan has spoken well of meetup.com in the past. Coming from him that is a pretty good endorsement. Speaking of Brother Dan , haven't seen him about for a while. Hope he's ok. |
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Post by greatcoastal on Jul 24, 2018 11:18:53 GMT -5
I'd like to hear some successful, recent, Meetup ( made friends/relationships through going to Meetup events) stories! When i say' successful' I mean meeting someone who you can then date. More than just learning someone's first name. Think about those of us who are recovering from a SM and what our needs are? That yearning to know that you are desirable, physically and mentally by someone of the opposite sex. Prior to meeting my H a dozen years ago I was very active in a meet-up group and ended up becoming an event planner. I met hundreds of people, and had some wonderful times and adventures. Almost ALL of my closest friendships now were borne out of that group and I also ended up in a relationship of about a year with a man I met there. I would 100% recommend putting yourself out there and joining meet up groups. There is no downside: you can choose the activities you like to do and then do those things with other likeminded individuals, try new things, make new friends and possibly even find a romantic partner. If you don’t like it just don’t go again! But something to keep in mind is that everyone there is for the same reason and everyone feels the way you do with some apprehension. I hope you are right nomoregoingtobelonelywife! I am finishing my first season of being newly divorced and single. I joined four different meetup groups.Singles groups. It's a lot like going to painting classes. Everyone there is a decade or two older than me, they can talk paint, you might learn their first name, you might become a better painter,etc... At the end of the two hours everyone is in a hurry to get out the door and leave. That leaves me back at my very available home ,with my very available self. Plenty of time,,privacy, thoughts, needs, money,and maybe another meetup group to have the same thing continue to happen. I too was thinking, certainly there are people here for the same reason as me? Maybe not! There are also the same people who where/are rejectors, narcissist, cheaters etc... Then there are the kind that go on dating sights and want someone to buy them dinner and take them on cruises, empty your wallet and tell you " I'm not really interested in ever really dating anyone." Or " I was divorced 15 yrs ago and don't want a man". Okay. Then why are you sitting next to me, a man a decade younger than you, on a moonlight hayride, understanding my thoughts about starting over from a SM? I did find a place that teaches ballroom dancing. Like I took 30 yrs ago. And like then, they need more men. I still expect it to be very surfacy, and everyone goes home/there separate ways at 10:00pm. And I will, again, make a few elderly, retired woman very happy with my demeanor and presence. Yeah, it's nice to give and make people happy. I think my next logical step will be to continue my education and delve into 60+ hrs a week of employment and save my money for my kids inheritance. |
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Post by northstarmom on Jul 24, 2018 15:24:30 GMT -5
“I did find a place that teaches ballroom dancing. Like I took 30 yrs ago. And like then, they need more men. I still expect it to be very surfacy, and everyone goes home/there separate ways at 10:00pm. ”
If you make a connection with someone, you can offer to take them for a drink.
When I went to a local social meetup (not a singles group, just a fun activities group) it was a cocktail party hosted by a woman friend. The men there just talked about themselves, which was boring. Women had conversations in which each party got a chance to talk. After a while, the women were clustered together conversing with animation. The guys ended up leaving us and headed to a sports bar.
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Post by flyingsolo on Jul 24, 2018 16:44:59 GMT -5
So around here they have these painting with a twist places where you can bring in alcohol and you paint a picture over the course of two hours. I am sure they have these everywhere by now. They are usually full of ladies with a few guys which makes a captive audience for two hours, who are drinking.....  |
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Post by northstarmom on Jul 24, 2018 19:15:54 GMT -5
"So around here they have these painting with a twist places where you can bring in alcohol and you paint a picture over the course of two hours. I am sure they have these everywhere by now. They are usually full of ladies with a few guys which makes a captive audience for two hours, who are drinking."
We have them, too, but I have noticed people tend to take the classes with friends or a partner.
I suggest doing things like that only if you're really interested. Don't do them just because there is an abundance of women. If you're not interested in painting, you may not have much in common with women you meet there.
For men who are into the arts, religion, spiritual things, activities like yoga, typically there is an overabundance of women in activities related to those subjects. So getting involved in such activities could be a good way of meeting simpatico women. Go there, however, to enjoy the activities. If you're just there to pick up women, you'll seem like a stalker and that will scare most women away.
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