My Story- Newly Married Into Depression

If you can help it, cagedtiger, leave her alone. She needs to try to process the reality of the situation. Your post was several hours ago, so I'm assuming she stopped moving furniture and is sleeping somewhere. I'm hoping she didn't break your resolve with her tears etc. Let her experience this - trust me, it will be better for everyone (in the end) if you don't waiver now - no matter how hard it may be to witness what is probably a very real breakdown.

Really sucky situation - better days are ahead - she will be okay, and you WILL be FREE!

Here comes the reversal! Where she is the victim and you are left feeling like the offender. Hiding in the room only helps fuel her thoughts. It's your house too, your property, your marriage.

You could justifiably go out there with a " what the hell are you doing? Stop this immediately!" (Like you would a child) attitude. Bringing things to an equal level.

Then there's the reality of today's twisted laws. You are a man, the husband, she is a woman, your wife. One phone call to the police from either of you, and the odds are not in your favor. A good reason to wait out this tantrum, and press ahead with the divorce. Keep the peace, for now.

Better times ahead. Things will be okay!

She slept on the living room floor again- the spare bed and the day bed are both in pieces, and both couches are upended because of a lack of space. No acknowledgement when she got up, nor when i left.

I'll try and talk to her tonight when she gets home. If she comes home.

Not really.

The house would've still been a disaster, the dogs would still look to me to take care of them and pay them attention, and I'd still have a ready list of excuses for why she never came out for social functions.

As baza and others are fond of reminding, the lack of sex was just the first symptom i really noticed of the bigger problems.

This is a pivotal point in your life cagedtiger I know that we are just voices on the internet, but please know that by speaking to you, we are really trying to say what we wish someone would have said to us.

This will never get better. Not permanently. The usual way this plays out is that the spouse decides to be better and sometimes is, for a while. In your case, I could see her becoming more and more sexual until you think things are heading in the right direction. Of course, every time you have sex will be Russian roulette. Because when you get her pregnant, then the hook will really be set in your mouth and she will have you.

For nine months you won't get laid because she doesn't feel sexy or she is nauseous. Hell, that might even be true.

Then, once the baby is born, you'll count the days until the 6 weeks have passed and you can have sex. She will have complications and the OB/GYN will tell her "It's different for every woman. You'll have sex when you are ready."

Since you are a good God fearing man, you'll question your desire and sublimate it. After all, your wife just gave you this amazing new child. That's a traumatic experience. She needs time.

After the first year you will be ready to start flirting with random employees at McDonalds. Your wife will save all of her affection for her baby. She will have no time for you. If you want sex you will be told that she is feeding the baby and is up all night and is exhausted and that's why she is too tired for sex. When you offer to get up at night to feed the baby she will argue that it is a bonding experience for her and she doesn't want you to feed the baby.

When the baby is napping on a nice Saturday afternoon you will approach your wife for sex. She will rebuff you. She hasn't had a shower yet. She feels stinky. You suggest a shower together. She will say no, because she had stretch marks from being pregnant and perhaps a scar. You say you don't care and you kiss her tummy. She will tell you all you think about is sex and perhaps give you a hand job.

Two years will go by and then your wife will have sex with you as if out of the blue. You will not question her motives. She will F your brains out for a week or so. Once she is pregnant with her second child, she will have NO time for daddy. She has a toddler and is pregnant. Who can deal with that and have sex? Nobody, that's who. If you even try to fuck a woman who is pregnant and has a two year old, you should be arrested.

Ten years later you'll have a 12 year old and a 10 year old. You will love them very much. You will not want to leave them. Because of that you'll stay with their mother who has sex with you 3-4 times a year and only when it suits her. Your sexual advances will have been rebuffed hundreds of times. You will be SURE that you'll have sex when the kids are at the grandparents, your wife has gotten a girlie bubble bath and you spent all weekend cleaning, including the toilet. You'll have your vasectomy (check), you live in the gym so you look good (check). It's going to happen.

But it won't happen. A friend of hers from college will call and tell her that the friend's mother has cancer. And after a call like that, how could she even think about being romantic? Honestly, you will feel badly that you even suggested sex after that awful news. What kind of a man are you?

This is your future. Don't do it. Get out now. Trust us.

Good god. My life has flashed before my eyes.

"There is a way we all must go, over the bridge of sighs into eternity ..."

You seem to be making it harder on yourself by waiting until some random pre selected date in January. She's acting crazy. Why not bolt right now? Who cares what she thinks? Go stay at a hotel while you search for an apartment.