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Post by deadzone75 on Nov 7, 2024 16:09:34 GMT -5
Isn't the definition of insanity doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results? So this past Monday we had our councilling session and I talked about her not initiating because she simply has no desire and because of that she doesn't think about or care about sex...she said that's not true and scheduled a cuddling session for Wednesday. Wednesday night rolls around and surprise surprise, she "forgot". Fuck this crap. "Water is wet." "No, it's not." She doesn't even try. Seriously, you are dodging a bullet by missing these "cuddling sessions", which have to be as enjoyable as rubbing your nose in urine-soaked carpet. |
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Post by isthisit on Nov 7, 2024 16:22:53 GMT -5
Isn't the definition of insanity doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results? So this past Monday we had our councilling session and I talked about her not initiating because she simply has no desire and because of that she doesn't think about or care about sex...she said that's not true and scheduled a cuddling session for Wednesday. Wednesday night rolls around and surprise surprise, she "forgot". Fuck this crap. Fuck this crap indeed. You need to book an appointment for your wife to cuddle you? In a marriage it is a reasonable assumption that a cuddle should available spontaneously whenever you feel you need one. That physical affection is available at all times, for you and only for you, because he/she is your spouse. The whole idea of scheduling and cuddling are highly contradictory for me. It’s not quite as bad a a shared shower where she ignores your erection, but it’s not far off. GTFO |
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m76
Full Member
Posts: 416
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Post by m76 on Nov 7, 2024 16:35:14 GMT -5
Isn't the definition of insanity doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results? So this past Monday we had our councilling session and I talked about her not initiating because she simply has no desire and because of that she doesn't think about or care about sex...she said that's not true and scheduled a cuddling session for Wednesday. Wednesday night rolls around and surprise surprise, she "forgot". Fuck this crap. Fuck this crap indeed. You need to book an appointment for your wife to cuddle you? In a marriage it is a reasonable assumption that a cuddle should available spontaneously whenever you feel you need one. That physical affection is available at all times, for you and only for you, because he/she is your spouse. The whole idea of scheduling and cuddling are highly contradictory for me. It’s not quite as bad a a shared shower where she ignores your erection, but it’s not far off. GTFO I get more hug action from my work friend, and we're only in the office at the same time once a week. |
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Post by isthisit on Nov 7, 2024 16:56:27 GMT -5
Fuck this crap indeed. You need to book an appointment for your wife to cuddle you? In a marriage it is a reasonable assumption that a cuddle should available spontaneously whenever you feel you need one. That physical affection is available at all times, for you and only for you, because he/she is your spouse. The whole idea of scheduling and cuddling are highly contradictory for me. It’s not quite as bad a a shared shower where she ignores your erection, but it’s not far off. GTFO I get more hug action from my work friend, and we're only in the office at the same time once a week. I am sorry to hear about your wife, but glad someone is cuddling you even if it is in the office. Your wife doesn’t sound capable of more than she gives today, which is virtually nothing. For her, you are there to take from but not give to as your needs are unimportant to her. To cope today while you bide your time you could be getting your ducks in a row, seeking information about the realities of a divorce and building the foundations of a new life to come. It seems that rather than take this tack you prefer to strain every sinew to understand and revive your marriage. I did this too. For me it was avoidance, because avoidance is so much easier than the moving on part. |
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Post by lonelyhubby on Nov 20, 2024 19:12:48 GMT -5
That's awesome! I have read your posts leading up to this but what do you think was the catalyst for this change? I think it was a combination of a lot of things - one being the realization of me bluntly stating this is unsustainable from a relationship standpoint (personal discussions and what we have covered i therapy), also me flat outright stating that I am considering going outside of our relationship because of the dead zone, and also confronting her about being disconnected, isolated and living in a bubble of avoidance. Something has to change or else we need to call it. I think it really set in that I am a member of a SM support group - does not sit well with her and I think it kind of forces her to come to grips with the situation that I have had to turn to like minded (for lack of a better term) people who are all facing this situation within their relationships. No escaping the reality of it. We had a long weekend, and she is wanting to snuggle tonight and see about another opportunity. Not sure if I would classify it as trauma bonding, Just got propositioned by my Wife. Keeping fingers crossed that her return to regular cycle is helping |
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