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Post by isthisit on Aug 21, 2023 15:44:31 GMT -5
The things that brought me joy I can no longer do. I cannot hear music as I could. I cannot walk or hike as I did. Solo sex fades. I hate the house we live in. Perhaps it is time to ditch the old joys and find new ones. But it is hard to draw up a shopping list of potential joys. I will bet you a fiver that the BJ you have been after would bring you plenty of joy. Arthritis and hearing loss are not going to dent that event. Get yourself to the cash point and go find your joy. |
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Post by lessingham on Aug 22, 2023 10:00:52 GMT -5
I think I should invest that fiver in typing lessons. My typo score is astronomical. Or learn to proofread.
Anyhow, the son pulled his kitchen door handle off!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He needs power tools to restore it. I lament, he is 40 and has one hammer and one screwdriver. Oh well, christmas is coming.
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Post by mirrororchid on Aug 22, 2023 18:41:54 GMT -5
Maybe this calls for another thread where we can list stuff to try/get into in order to build a life that doesn't depend on one's refuser. A quickStart guide for those ready to escape their misery, if not their sexlessness.
I get it, though, Lessingham. I tell people about my wife's bucket list and they ask where I want to go.
I say "I'll worry about that when her list is done."
Co-dependent much?
Part of the trouble is I'd likely want a bit of historical touring. I'm always slower through museums. Battlefields bore her.
It'd be give and take if I asked, but she does not seem capable of figuring out what there is to enjoy about a place she didn't pick.
When we go someplace she had in mind, it is truly pleasant to have her happy, even if it's "unfair" to me.
No place, exhibit, or music makes me so happy as seeing that woman temporarily forget she's miserable.
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Post by northstarmom on Aug 23, 2023 11:44:00 GMT -5
mirrorchid"Maybe this calls for another thread where we can list stuff to try/get into in order to build a life that doesn't depend on one's refuser. A quickStart guide for those ready to escape their misery, if not their sexlessness.
I get it, though, Lessingham. I tell people about my wife's bucket list and they ask where I want to go.
I say "I'll worry about that when her list is done."
As I've said repeatedly on this site it took me a while to figure out what my own interests were and even who I really am. But I tried a lot of things from Meetups to Buddhism to being in a music appreciation group with snooty elderly women to tai chi, silent retreats, solo travel, yoga, painting, drawing, becoming a minor official in my local political party, photography, singing, dancing, acting, and improv classes. Through trying all of these things, I found out a lot about myself -- my needs, likes, and where I fit in. I made lots of friends and eventually even found my post SM partner of 10 years (We were in the same theatre troupe. I didn't join to get a man. In fact, the majority of the troupe were gay. I'd known him for 3 years before he asked me out, and that was while I was getting divorced). He is very different from any man I'd ever dated. That's because while trying out a lot of activities, I was also looking at myself and my marriage and figuring out that I never wanted again to be with a man who had a small range of emotions, couldn't talk intimately, had no real friends-- only acquaintances-- and who was uncomfortable/disinterested in sex.
But it did take lots of inner work --self reflection, therapy, guts to try different things without doing them with my spouse -- for me to become the person I am, a person whom I'm very happy to be. To get this far, I had to prioritize myself -- not my spouse or my troubled son, and I did that.
Since I'm now 72, I am living in an aging body so there are some things I'll never be able to do like even do a 5k, but there are lots of things that I can do including things I haven't yet tried. I've been studying Spanish for about 7 years and am able to read some books in Spanish and having conversations. My grammar is far from perfect, but Spanish-speaking people understand me and appreciate that I am trying to learn their language. Right now, my partner and I are preparing for our first sketch comedy show that we've created. I embarked on my self discovery journey about 15 years ago. Even if I hadn't divorced, I would be now a happier person and more interesting person than I would have been if hadn't tried new things and invested my time and energy in myself.
Trying new things -- even if you end up not like them -- will offer you opportunities to meet new people, and to learn more about yourself. By trying art classes, I found that there are many far more talented people than I am. However, what I learned about art helps me appreciate art more, and it has helped me make friends. Interestingly, when I started dating my post SM partner, I learned he'd taken art and acting classes, too, for fun and had had the same minor political position that I'd had in the political party we both belong to. He was an interesting guy who brought something to the table as did I.
If you live life codependently, you won't have much to offer a new person or even to yourself. Until I broke free of my own codependency, I found it boring to be me.
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Post by isthisit on Aug 25, 2023 12:32:17 GMT -5
I think I should invest that fiver in typing lessons. My typo score is astronomical. Or learn to proofread. Anyhow, the son pulled his kitchen door handle off!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He needs power tools to restore it. I lament, he is 40 and has one hammer and one screwdriver. Oh well, christmas is coming. Steady on, it’s not your fiver yet. You’ve got to complete that BJ first. Honestly, lessingham it will do you the world of good. You can order them online these days and have home delivery. Like Just Eat, but you’re the one getting noshed. |
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Post by worksforme2 on Aug 25, 2023 13:24:16 GMT -5
isthisit,...does the home delivery of a blowjob fall within the approved treatment for depression under the National Health System? Unfortunately Medicare in the US does not recoginise blowjobs a medical necessity.
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Post by isthisit on Aug 25, 2023 13:54:36 GMT -5
isthisit,...does the home delivery of a blowjob fall within the approved treatment for depression under the National Health System? Unfortunately Medicare in the US does not recoginise blowjobs a medical necessity. Well, the NHS is currently embracing social prescribing, and I am aware that there is a solid evidence base to indicate that sexual activity is beneficial for those suffering from depression. All those lovely endorphins and such. On this basis, yep I am willing to prescribe lessingham a BJ. Prescription heading your way sunshine. See, you’re seeing socialised medicine differently now, huh? |
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Post by worksforme2 on Aug 25, 2023 15:25:37 GMT -5
isthisit,...does the home delivery of a blowjob fall within the approved treatment for depression under the National Health System? Unfortunately Medicare in the US does not recoginise blowjobs a medical necessity. Well, the NHS is currently embracing social prescribing, and I am aware that there is a solid evidence base to indicate that sexual activity is beneficial for those suffering from depression. All those lovely endorphins and such. On this basis, yep I am willing to prescribe lessingham a BJ. Prescription heading your way sunshine. See, you’re seeing socialised medicine differently now, huh? Prescribe me one while you are at it. A pharmasist at one of the local drug stores I frequent is pretty hot. |
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Post by isthisit on Aug 25, 2023 15:30:40 GMT -5
Well, the NHS is currently embracing social prescribing, and I am aware that there is a solid evidence base to indicate that sexual activity is beneficial for those suffering from depression. All those lovely endorphins and such. On this basis, yep I am willing to prescribe lessingham a BJ. Prescription heading your way sunshine. See, you’re seeing socialised medicine differently now, huh? Prescribe me one while you are at it. A pharmasist at one of the local drug stores I frequent is pretty hot. Alas, you haven’t paid in. I am happy to prescribe for lessingham and anotherdavid who presumably have paid in a boatload of NI like I have. Oh, and also the third boy Brit here, who keeps that fact quiet. You get a script too. |
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Post by lessingham on Aug 26, 2023 3:43:35 GMT -5
I have had many bad times with the National Health Service, a NHS blow job for me would end up being pointed to a hole in the floor and told to get on with it.
I started a rainy day fund this week to build up money my wife is unaware of and I can get cash without her seeing it in our account.
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Post by mirrororchid on Aug 30, 2023 20:32:45 GMT -5
Sorry to hear the secrecy is a necessary component.
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Post by worksforme2 on Aug 31, 2023 4:27:26 GMT -5
I started a rainy day fund this week to build up money my wife is unaware of and I can get cash without her seeing it in our account. Could it be that "a shinny new era is tiptoeing nearer"? .....Be prepared...... |
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Post by lessingham on Oct 8, 2023 5:01:59 GMT -5
The bank of mum and dad are in session.
My wife found the rainy day fund and thinks it's a great idea. She assumed it was a joint account.
My son admitted he is broke, spent his redundancy in 5 months. We have to dedice whether we take up his mortgage payments or not to prevent him being homeless.
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Post by worksforme2 on Oct 8, 2023 11:33:23 GMT -5
lessingham,...what is a redundancy?
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Post by catlover on Oct 8, 2023 11:52:49 GMT -5
lessingham,...what is a redundancy? Same as being laid off. erg, you are redundant, as in no longer needed, or the job itself is redundant (no longer needed) |
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