|
|
Post by njsojourner on Aug 7, 2021 14:40:30 GMT -5
I don’t think therapists are very useful unless they have been in our shoes. My therapist is big on ethics/morality but from the perspective that no matter what it is never right to have sex outside of marriage. When I put the question to him—what, then, is the solution to my sexless marriage—the best he can do is say find other interesting things to stimulate my mind and find fulfillment. There is more to life than sex he said once. Ah, that is certainly true but a life without sex is a life with a dead soul.
|
|
|
|
Post by northstarmom on Aug 7, 2021 15:28:30 GMT -5
I think therapists have to enjoy and value sex to understand what it would mean to be in a sexless marriage. True of non therapists, too.
|
|
|
|
Post by saarinista on Aug 7, 2021 17:20:19 GMT -5
I don’t think therapists are very useful unless they have been in our shoes. My therapist is big on ethics/morality but from the perspective that no matter what it is never right to have sex outside of marriage. When I put the question to him—what, then, is the solution to my sexless marriage—the best he can do is say find other interesting things to stimulate my mind and find fulfillment. There is more to life than sex he said once. Ah, that is certainly true but a life without sex is a life with a dead soul. Yes there's no substitute for some things IMHO! |
|
|
|
Post by worksforme2 on Aug 7, 2021 17:37:05 GMT -5
My therapist is big on ethics/morality but from the perspective that no matter what it is never right to have sex outside of marriage. When I put the question to him—what, then, is the solution to my sexless marriage—the best he can do is say find other interesting things to stimulate my mind and find fulfillment. There is more to life than sex he said once. Ah, that is certainly true but a life without sex is a life with a dead soul. My response would have been..."I think you have my mind mixed up with my member. It isn't my mind that needs stimulation and fulfillment". |
|
|
|
Post by jerri on Aug 8, 2021 15:42:51 GMT -5
I don’t think therapists are very useful unless they have been in our shoes. My therapist is big on ethics/morality but from the perspective that no matter what it is never right to have sex outside of marriage. When I put the question to him—what, then, is the solution to my sexless marriage—the best he can do is say find other interesting things to stimulate my mind and find fulfillment. There is more to life than sex he said once. Ah, that is certainly true but a life without sex is a life with a dead soul. They think they can go without it because they get sex. They think our libido is like theirs? I noticed they take the side of "NO' but when I followed through my therapist didn't bash or shame me. But when I announced on fetlife that I had told my H that I was stepping out for sex. They pummeled me with shame and half of them were my cheerleaders and attacked those who attacked me. A man who later became my mentor took me to a philanderers' group and told me to post the same post and they would teach me the do's and don'ts of philandering. a little over a year I was doing it. I am glad I did. When I want something really bad, I don't ask for permission, I tell him what I will be doing only I try to do gently. Most told me that is neat that your husband "lets" you do that. NO, he doesn't like it one bit. All he has to do is give me his stiff heat but he chooses not to .  |
|
