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Post by csl on May 12, 2022 7:14:45 GMT -5
Wow, did I have a bad cold when I did that!
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Post by TheGreatContender -aka Daddeeo on May 13, 2022 10:44:15 GMT -5
Hey Mirrorchild errr mirrororchid. This is great! Will try to have a listen soon. And thanks to everyone who has shared their stories. I am not sure Im brave enough to go there, but its fun to think about at least. |
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Post by mirrororchid on May 24, 2022 6:03:50 GMT -5
Added a few good podcasts to teh polyamory list. When I edit the list, it doesn't mark the thread with new content and I've updated teh podcast list a dozens of times since it was posted. iliasm.org/post/129671Added Learn Poly and Imperfectly Poly
I have also, over time, sorted the podcast list roughly in order of quality, IMO. |
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Post by ironhamster on May 28, 2022 23:58:01 GMT -5
The Imperfectly Poly podcast is interesting to me. People do poly relationships differently, and it is good for me to see how others in nontraditional relationships do life.
The podcast on breaking up, though, had an interesting point. About ten minutes in, one of the women explains that every new relationship she gets in, she figures the worst that happens is it doesn't work out but she ends up with a really good friend. That's the point where I need to stop and reflect on my former wife. I think it's sufficient to say that there are people that can be far more authentic in multiple relationships than my ex could be in only one.
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Post by h on Jun 17, 2022 17:45:40 GMT -5
mirrororchid I just had an idea for sponsors for the podcast. Instead of fake ads, you should see about a sponsorship from a sex toy maker/distributor. Obviously, anyone listening to this podcast needs to take care of their needs solo. It's a perfect match!
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Post by mirrororchid on Jun 20, 2022 6:50:09 GMT -5
mirrororchid I just had an idea for sponsors for the podcast. Instead of fake ads, you should see about a sponsorship from a sex toy maker/distributor. Obviously, anyone listening to this podcast needs to take care of their needs solo. It's a perfect match! Hm. Can't argue. I'd thought divorce lawyers. Though I'm as big a fan of the longshot turnaround as anyone. Since we're thinking about it: Maybe someone writing those books that don't work and so many of us read would slip me a fiver. Marriage counselors? Yo, Ms. Madison! Ash! Venmo me! Escort services? Obscure porn sites? Wonder if any of it gets you in trouble with Spotify. My podcast host supposedly inserts ads if you meet a certain download threshold. I'm focused on content (you'd never know it as infrequently as episodes get released) and if any dough rolls in, some of it has to get sent to csl, if he wants it. He's supplied teh majority of the content so far. It helped get the show established. Anyone hungry for more, faster than I can turn out podcasts, his essays are at: curmudgeonlylibrarian.wordpress.com/sexless-marriage-series/ |
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Post by mirrororchid on Jun 22, 2022 18:18:59 GMT -5
Episode 18
"The Vow Series: LOVE"
at: refusedpodcast.com*REFUSED* is also available on many podcast players including Google, Apple, Podcast Addict, and Spotify.
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Podcasts
Jan 30, 2023 7:09:58 GMT -5
h likes this
Post by mirrororchid on Jan 30, 2023 7:09:58 GMT -5
Episode 19
"The Vow Series: LOVE - Addendum"
at: refusedpodcast.com* REFUSED* is also available on many podcast players including Google, Apple, Podcast Addict, and Spotify. |
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Post by mirrororchid on Jan 16, 2024 4:57:23 GMT -5
Wow. A bit behind on updates! Episode 20 - The Vow Series - Honor
Episode 21 - The Vow Series - Cherish
Episode 22 - The Vow Series - For Better, For Worse
Episode 23 - The Vow Series - For Richer, For Poorer
Episode 24 - The Vow Series - In Sickness, and in Healthall at: refusedpodcast.com ...and those podcast players I mentioned before. |
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Post by mirrororchid on Jul 1, 2024 6:26:15 GMT -5
Been listening to Dr. PsychMom's episode "Responsive Romance" podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/drpsychmomshow/episodes/Responsive-ROMANCE-e2fsjn0/a-a57pigThe flipside of "Responsive Desire", men don't think about romance much after the drunken hormones subside. To elicit "Responsive Desire", wives are encouraged to explore their reaction to sex and recognize the capability of their bides to enjoy it, if they start before the "mood" sets in. The "mood" shows up in the middle. In this episode she suggests you can elicit "Responsive Romance" by planning a special evening together and your husband will find hmself in a romantic mood and expressing his appreciation for you as a person once he's into his second glass of wine and a porterhouse under candlelight. ... Kidding. She says the husband should find the romantic desire that exists, muster it mightily, and plan that elaborate dinner and invite his wife to it. I was ready to leave a "WTF?" comment on her web page about the disconnect, but it is podcast form only, no essay/forum post and there's no comment section that I can see, so... I'm venting to y'all. EDIT: It's what I get for listening halfway and commenting. Lesson learned. She explains for "pre-occupied" spouses, romantic gestures aren't going to help. If anything, such anxious husbands are already very engaged with their wives and perhaps have gone overboard into harassment, especially if the wife is avoidant. So she explains that it is the avoidant husbands who'll benefit most from deliberately choosing to be romantic and they may find they enjoy it, once it is under way. This may have some grain of truth if expense and ambiance at the cost of actual quality cuisine have annoyed him in the past. Then again, romance, to my mind is knowing what your partner will enjoy and that may be expensive and/or pretentiousness. In such cases, you have to engage practicality by recognizing a few nights of pointless profligacy is cheaper and potentially more effective than twice as many frugal endeavors. Practical romance is so...sterile. But then again, scheduled sex is unsexy, so... "Responsive" romance and sex are both shadows of "the real thing", but half a loaf, am I right? Avoidant partners strike me as the kind of people that don't much care if their partners lack romance. Maybe "responsive romance" can help avoidant husbands that want to put the kibosh on pre-occupied wives' whining, just as "responsive sex" can address husbands' skin hunger even if they don't want it for themselves. Both are worthwhile, powerful gestures of commitment, if a little sterile. Hey, "til death" is a high bar. |
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Post by lonelyhubby on Jul 1, 2024 7:32:22 GMT -5
Yeah - Dr. Psych Mom always has an explanation as to why it's normal for Women to withhold and have low or no libido. Almost like an apologist some days. Other days she says there should be no sexless marriages unless agreed to by both, it's all very finger in the wind kind of stuff. Hard for me to take her serious since the consistency of her advice and statements is irregular.
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Post by mirrororchid on Jul 2, 2024 5:19:42 GMT -5
Yeah - Dr. Psych Mom always has an explanation as to why it's normal for Women to withhold and have low or no libido. Almost like an apologist some days. Other days she says there should be no sexless marriages unless agreed to by both, it's all very finger in the wind kind of stuff. Hard for me to take her serious since the consistency of her advice and statements is irregular. In many of her entries she gives the bad news to men that once a week is plenty for an older woman in menopause. She also explains that low / no libido women can appreciate physical intimacy if they make conscious decisions to engage with tools like scheduled sex. Men who get all whiny about once a week probably aren't regulars at ILIASM.org I added an edit. It's what I get for listening halfway and commenting. Lesson learned. She explains for "pre-occupied" spouses, romantic gestures aren't going to help. If anything, such anxious husbands are already very engaged with their wives and perhaps have gone overboard into harassment, especially if the wife is avoidant. So she explains that it is the avoidant husbands who'll benefit most from deliberately choosing to be romantic and they may find they enjoy it, once it is under way. This may have some grain of truth if expense and ambiance at the cost of actual quality cuisine have annoyed him in the past. Then again, romance, to my mind is knowing what your partner will enjoy and that may be expensive and/or pretentiousness. In such cases, you have to engage practicality by recognizing a few nights of pointless profligacy is cheaper and potentially more effective than twice as many frugal endeavors. Practical romance is so...sterile. But then again, scheduled sex is unsexy, so... "Responsive" romance and sex are both shadows of "the real thing", but half a loaf, am I right? |
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Post by mirrororchid on Sept 4, 2024 4:36:03 GMT -5
More than a few people end up at ILIASM because they are devoutly religious, usually Christian. CSL may have accidentally connected me to these. I don't remember. A small band of bloggers joined forces to make two podcasts: " Hope for Christian Wives", a podcast about recovering after adultery. If you are going to outsource, this can be a useful resource for what to expect from fallout from discovery of an affair. There is useful advice in here if you're going to open your marriage too, though the dedicated polyamory podcasts will obviously be more targeted. A lot of the feelings of "betrayed" spouses will be universal and not exclusive to Christians at all. ("Betrayed" in quotes because in the case of sexless marriages, there has been a betrayal of trust already. Opening a marriage openly is seen by some (me) as restoring balance, not setting things off kilter. Secret opening of the marriage (affairs) adds an element of deception which may require some contemplation and/or addressing) " Sex Chat for Christian Wives" A podcast about the importance of sex to marriage in a Biblical context. These ladies can can surprisingly bawdy, considering the wholesome theme. Often they address refusing spouses and why it should not happen and what to do about it and why it should be a hapy thing to reintroduce sexuality. The arguments can commonly hold up well for secular couples. One show was called " Practice!"In it, one of the hosts recounted training herself to pause for 3-5 seconds before answering any question, including mundane routine requests. This was to prepare her to not automatically jump to "No." if asked whether she'd be up for a romp and ask herself whether she could she make some time to strengthen her marriage and demonstrate her caring for her spouse? "Yes" was her answer much more often after that. I wondered what if refused/denied spouses were to preface every mundane question with, "Hon, got a question. Think about this a few seconds before you answer..." ..."Would you please pass the salt?" ..."Could you pick up some swiss cheese when you go to Piggly Wiggly this week?" ..."Do you want to see 'Wolverine and Deadpool'?" Nonnononono. I needed you t think about it for a second or two! Once they're trained to wait for the answer. THEN you ask for sexy time. Different beast when its the person trying to get frisky versus getting someone to recognize they reflexively refuse. Still, is there anything to lose? |
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Post by week5of35years on Sept 4, 2024 9:53:20 GMT -5
More than a few people end up at ILIASM because they are devoutly religious, usually Christian. CSL may have accidentally connected me to these. I don't remember. A small band of bloggers joined forces to make two podcasts: " Hope for Christian Wives", a podcast about recovering after adultery. If you are going to outsource, this can be a useful resource for what to expect from fallout from discovery of an affair. There is useful advice in here if you're going to open your marriage too, though the dedicated polyamory podcasts will obviously be more targeted. A lot of the feelings of "betrayed" spouses will be universal and not exclusive to Christians at all. ("Betrayed" in quotes because in the case of sexless marriages, there has been a betrayal of trust already. Opening a marriage openly is seen by some (me) as restoring balance, not setting things off kilter. Secret opening of the marriage (affairs) adds an element of deception which may require some contemplation and/or addressing) " Sex Chat for Christian Wives" A podcast about the importance of sex to marriage in a Biblical context. These ladies can can surprisingly bawdy, considering the wholesome theme. Often they address refusing spouses and why it should not happen and what to do about it and why it should be a hapy thing to reintroduce sexuality. The arguments can commonly hold up well for secular couples. One show was called " Practice!"In it, one of the hosts recounted training herself to pause for 3-5 seconds before answering any question, including mundane routine requests. This was to prepare her to not automatically jump to "No." if asked whether she'd be up for a romp and ask herself whether she could she make some time to strengthen her marriage and demonstrate her caring for her spouse? "Yes" was her answer much more often after that. I wondered what if refused/denied spouses were to preface every mundane question with, "Hon, got a question. Think about this a few seconds before you answer..." ..."Would you please pass the salt?" ..."Could you pick up some swiss cheese when you go to Piggly Wiggly this week?" ..."Do you want to see 'Wolverine and Deadpool'?" Nonnononono. I needed you t think about it for a second or two! Once they're trained to wait for the answer. THEN you ask for sexy time. Different beast when its the person trying to get frisky versus getting someone to recognize they reflexively refuse. Still, is there anything to lose? Ok, so I am doing ok but.... I teased my wife a bit in May when she was sun bathing on a lounger (Bit more than teasing with a small vibrator if I am 100% honest) - this made me feel very, very horny so I suggested we go upstairs and we have sex, she said "no", like in an instant, so I said "what do you have on right now that's more important than having sex with me right now" and I sat there as I expected a damned answer from her right there and then... used a variation on this theme a few times and TBH it feels a bit manipulatory, harassing, bullying even in the extreme view, but how else do you politely say "snap the fuck out of it!!, engage with me, our relationship is not a one way street, relationship is at stake here" without going all pouty nuclear and ruining the moment.... (because even now, any pre-planning for passion (which she seems to love BTW) summons the foreboding headache and tiredness monsters of avoidance into our household..grrrrrr) |
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Podcasts
Sept 6, 2024 0:10:35 GMT -5
via mobile
Post by ironhamster on Sept 6, 2024 0:10:35 GMT -5
More than a few people end up at ILIASM because they are devoutly religious, usually Christian. CSL may have accidentally connected me to these. I don't remember. A small band of bloggers joined forces to make two podcasts: " Hope for Christian Wives", a podcast about recovering after adultery. If you are going to outsource, this can be a useful resource for what to expect from fallout from discovery of an affair. There is useful advice in here if you're going to open your marriage too, though the dedicated polyamory podcasts will obviously be more targeted. A lot of the feelings of "betrayed" spouses will be universal and not exclusive to Christians at all. ("Betrayed" in quotes because in the case of sexless marriages, there has been a betrayal of trust already. Opening a marriage openly is seen by some (me) as restoring balance, not setting things off kilter. Secret opening of the marriage (affairs) adds an element of deception which may require some contemplation and/or addressing) " Sex Chat for Christian Wives" A podcast about the importance of sex to marriage in a Biblical context. These ladies can can surprisingly bawdy, considering the wholesome theme. Often they address refusing spouses and why it should not happen and what to do about it and why it should be a hapy thing to reintroduce sexuality. The arguments can commonly hold up well for secular couples. One show was called " Practice!"In it, one of the hosts recounted training herself to pause for 3-5 seconds before answering any question, including mundane routine requests. This was to prepare her to not automatically jump to "No." if asked whether she'd be up for a romp and ask herself whether she could she make some time to strengthen her marriage and demonstrate her caring for her spouse? "Yes" was her answer much more often after that. I wondered what if refused/denied spouses were to preface every mundane question with, "Hon, got a question. Think about this a few seconds before you answer..." ..."Would you please pass the salt?" ..."Could you pick up some swiss cheese when you go to Piggly Wiggly this week?" ..."Do you want to see 'Wolverine and Deadpool'?" Nonnononono. I needed you t think about it for a second or two! Once they're trained to wait for the answer. THEN you ask for sexy time. Different beast when its the person trying to get frisky versus getting someone to recognize they reflexively refuse. Still, is there anything to lose? Ok, so I am doing ok but.... I teased my wife a bit in May when she was sun bathing on a lounger (Bit more than teasing with a small vibrator if I am 100% honest) - this made me feel very, very horny so I suggested we go upstairs and we have sex, she said "no", like in an instant, so I said "what do you have on right now that's more important than having sex with me right now" and I sat there as I expected a damned answer from her right there and then... used a variation on this theme a few times and TBH it feels a bit manipulatory, harassing, bullying even in the extreme view, but how else do you politely say "snap the fuck out of it!!, engage with me, our relationship is not a one way street, relationship is at stake here" without going all pouty nuclear and ruining the moment.... (because even now, any pre-planning for passion (which she seems to love BTW) summons the foreboding headache and tiredness monsters of avoidance into our household..grrrrrr) It is a sad state of affairs when you are the ONLY one in the relationship trying to have a relationship. You can't fix that because she already has what she wants, and it doesn't include your needs being met. |
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