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Post by dallasgia on Oct 4, 2018 7:40:04 GMT -5
Have you found helpful podcast series?
I listen to Sexy Marriage Radio and anything I can find with Gottman.
I’ve run out of listening material.
Searching for direction.
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Post by shamwow on Oct 4, 2018 8:08:21 GMT -5
Have you found helpful podcast series? I listen to Sexy Marriage Radio and anything I can find with Gottman. I’ve run out of listening material. Searching for direction. Don't know if you're a guy but the art of manliness one rocks. Despite the name, it it's got lots of stuff that is geared towards being a good human being regardless of gender. |
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Post by workingonit on Oct 4, 2018 8:14:09 GMT -5
Esther Perel is amazing. Deals with lots of sexless marriages
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Post by mirrororchid on Mar 4, 2020 21:18:29 GMT -5
Have you found helpful podcast series? I listen to Sexy Marriage Radio and anything I can find with Gottman. I’ve run out of listening material. Searching for direction. Necroposting here because I've been searching for good podcasts too and didn't want to create a redundant thread. Most sexless marriage podcasts cover a lot of the same territory I'm reporting those I thought did a superior job of covering the issues or had unique material to offer. I point out a few episodes for some that I found had unusual or especially well addressed topics. | Podcast | Episodes | Comments |
| *Refused*
| All of it! It's home-grown here at ILIASM!
| ILIASM's own unofficial podcast. Essays about sexless marriages, research reports, and anonymous Interviews with ILIASM.org members (Would you be willing to share your experiences in order to help others in sexless marriages? PM me. See below for sample questions.)
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| Story of Sexless Marriage (The Dirty Rabbit Hole podcast)
| Start with shows, mid-2021 and later. 12/5/22 show mentions ILIASM.
| "The Dirty Rabbit Hole" presented by Aussie author/podcaster Michael Forman (sometimes visits ILIASM as angelwanderer ). Musings on sexless marriage and background on his novel "Seethings" in which the protagonist is in one.
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| | Dr. Psych Mom | Most. S3E34. S3E43
| (with thanks to greatcoastal ) "Dr. Samantha Rodman Whiten discusses relationships, sex, family, and parenting with no BS. Unpopular opinions: don't overfocus on your kids, [and] physical touch is the most important love language..."
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| Dad Starting Over
| Most. Try #162 (1/4/23) | Recommended by Handy (and mirrororchid concurs) Fast forward one minute on many of his podcasts to skip the shilling of his "DSO Fraternity" a men's support group $15/month.) Divorced dude who recounts what he did wrong and will never do again. Hard truth about the primitive mechanisms behind human mating that haven't changed despite our no longer hunting deer with spears or pushing a plow behind an ox. Shorter podcasts <15 min. are great introduction. Save the interviews for later if you like the hard truth nuggets. (the show with Kim Anami smacks of a cross-promotional infomercial))
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| | Sexless Marriage Struggle | All (except #10 and #24, which are a bit off the rails) | Good, not great. Angry tone. An unfortunate, bitter incel feel to it at times. Covers coping and psychological effects of SM. Emails, Reddit chats, and personal experiences. |
| | Foreplay | Many, esp. #206, 209, 220, 330 | Solid, approachable analysis of relationship issues. Enjoyable rapport. |
| | Where Shall We Begin |
| The podcast @workingonit may have been referring to. It does have some SM therapy sessions. (Edit: Esther Perel's podcast, open marriage advocate)
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| Unsoulmated
| All, serialized | An unaware refuser's podcast real-time diary documenting the year after his wife tells him she wants a divorce. First two episodes are cringeworthy, but likely necessary for context.
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| | Absurd Psychology | 12/9/16 | Thorough discussions about relationship challenges. |
| | The Sexy Lifestyle | 8/31/17 | Please ignore the annoying smarmy guy host. (he's in an open marriage and just a little too happy about it?) |
| | Sex Chat for Christian Wives | Many, esp.10/23/18, 10/29/19, 10/19/22 | Surprisingly feisty, given the panelists. Pretty good tips for women struggling with lack of desire, if they'd like to work on it. 10/19/22 may not be what you expect from their podcast name. |
| | How to Save Your Marriage | Many, esp. #130, #135, #149,#150, #152, #153, #155 | Insightful, thorough coverage of many marital strife topics. Discussions about polyamory as a tool to ease SM issues are uncommon on other shows. It's covered well here including pitfalls and optimal conditions. She caught herself refusing, and stopped it. |
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| | Capitalism Hits Home | 3/13/20 | (recommended by ILIASM user Handy) |
| | Sexy Marriage Radio | #122 (approved by csl ) | Recommended by dallasgia . Personally, I found the two shows (#458 and ?) I listened to seem to invite introspection by the refused partner. "How should I look at this?" "What might my side of the problem be?" It doesn't seem to have much to offer if you've already done that or you already feel like you've met your partner half- 90% of the way. It runs the risk of making the listener depressed and for some listeners it will definitely be a case of "blaming the victim". Weigh in with an episode you liked in the comments if you find it more helpful than I did. Show #122 is specifically about Sexless Marriage (thanks, csl , for the find) |
| | The Art of Manliness |
| Recommended by shamwow |
| | Sex with Emily | 3/3/2015
| (not recommended) Sexlessness episode. Light, airy, free-spirited host chats with her friend. Sexless topic starts at 22:44 and not worth the wait. Lots of ads, and what I suspect are product placement mentions? Do not like this podcast if this episode is an indicator. Refused to listen to another that had an interesting topic. I like the host, but the content is thin enough to run through a collander.
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| | Lunchtime Live | 9/20/19 & 11/27/19 | Not a relationship podcast per se. Lots of sympathy for the SM spouses, short on suggestions/solutions. |
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I've received an offer from an ILIASM.org user and we're in the process of constructing the first installment of * Refused*. If you'd like to share your (anonymous) experience in a future episode, see the format below and send me a PM with your answers. I'll give you follow up questions I would ask if we were already talking and you'll give the answers to me live so I can react and ask follow ups which you may answer or not.
Refusing is wrecking your self-esteem, but what your spouse wants is more important than that? It's all about him/her? Surviving The Covert Narcissistand The Covert Narcissism PodcastDarren McGee on YouTube has good essays. It's just him talking in a camera. so you can treat it like a podcast.
Tired of the refusal and ready to get intimacy, without throwing a grenade at your marriage?: Here are podcasts about non-monogamy. Stay, Cheat, or Leave being the options often presented on ILIASM forums.... these podcasts would be filed under "Cheat" by refusers. No sex, I might point out, is also non-monogamy. It's a-gamy. No lover at all. I've loosely ranked my preferred podcasts towards the top, but not exactly in order. Also note, your taste and mine may differ. Gaps between podcasts groups reflect my grouping of better podcasts, and less good. | Podcast | Recommended Shows | Comments | Polyamory Weekly
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| Knowledgeable, lively banter between CunningMinx and LustyGuy, experienced polyamorists guiding newcomers through the potential minefield.
| Multiamory
| All, (try #372, 412) | Thorough, lengthy deep dives into subject matter. Widely regarded as a good source. Heads up: TERRIBLE theme music. *cringe* Awkward, misleadingly bad intro in their first few seasons. Trust me. One of the best out there.
| Making Polyamory Work
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| A personal favorite. Concise, insightful commentary on relationship topics that need not be strictly about polyamorous dynamics. Most of it equally good for plain ol' vanilla couples.
| | Ready for Polyamory |
| In depth examination of topics with approaches that explore facets of the topics not commonly addressed by the others. Try these when you've heard a topic of interest on another podcast. She may have good supplemental observations and ideas.
| | Probably Poly | esp. 11/14/20 | Thorough discussion of the ethics of non-monogamy. The hosts discuss topics in depth and crush down their discussion into a structured presentation. Nov 14, 2020 show is about closed relationships, including monogamy; a damning picture of dysfunctional marriage. It's strike a nerve for many ILIASM members. | Purity to Polyamory
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| Formerly-devout-Christian polyamorists discuss the deprogramming they underwent to reject society's demand for monogamy.
| Plus Size Polyamory
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| Intellectualized explanation of the benefits and logic of polyamory with a hippie vibe that somehow manages to not be irritating. YMMV.
| | Opening Up | All (serial) | Amateur podcasters, started their podcast at the same time they opened. Multiple missteps in realtime as they navigate this new world. The series ends with loose ends and no explanation, be prepared to be concerned / disappointed. | | Imperfectly Poly | #3, many more | Good discussion with better than average analysis of the introspection of motivations and preference for polyamory. | | Learn Poly |
| Good primer on the terminology including the history and facets of the various practices such as the origins of "Swinging" as tool by which to maintain marriages. | | Why Choose One |
| Earnest young woman sorts through her execution and reaction to polyamory. Her shared experiences can offer advice to those who follow her. Informal, occasionally, deliberately earthy. | | Polyamory School |
| A how-to. Bordering on braggadocio, but a targeted action guide for those ready to start dating more than one.
| | Talk Your Poly Off |
| Chat sessions. More brainstorming and spitballing than educational. Maybe not the best place to start, but a place where you can listen to poly folk tease apart differences between traditional society and non-monogamous rebels. | | Open Late | Multiple
| Rich content, less run-of-the-mill topics. 6/29/22 informed me about Want/Will/Won't Lists (small part of a long podcast, so did not specifically recommend, though it's a fine show.) | | Poly-Saturated Podcast | Most. Epsiode 88. | Fun hosts. Earnest, smart, and varied takes on subjects covered by others. Episode 88 has a terrific discussion about why it can be very difficult to mend relationships that have been allowed to stew for a long while. | | Adventurous Polyamory | S2E1,S2E11, S2E16, 6/30/22, | Nuts and bolts practicality for smooth(er) poly life. "...At some point you have to stop seducing, and work on being intimate instead, which is the exact opposite process." S2E1 is a reality check on people like me that paint too rosy a picture of a functional multi-partner home. Super helpful. |
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| | Practicing Polyamory |
| Prolific podcast with exhausting enthusiasm. Try it. It may be exactly your taste. WARNING: Listen on the lowest volume you can stand until he introduces his guest. He plays this triumphant fanfare clip that is not volume controlled and you'll blast your ears wide open if you don't prepare for it. He may ambush you with a sound clip that isn't volume controlled too, so...apologies in advance. He's new at this. | | Monogamy Disrupted |
| Light hearted anecdotes of poly life | | Pedestrian Polyamory |
| Good, but it's been too long since I listened to review.
| Polyamory Uncensored
| #85, for the songs | In depth interviews. How, when why are you polyamorous. Mixed in with some specific attribute that make polyamory different for the guest.
| | Normalizing Non-Monogamy |
| Interviews. Hear what inspired their delving into poly. Learn from people's mistakes. An immersive culture exercise more than an educational podcast. You may get a nugget of info here and there, but that isn't the point. | | Poly Wanna Podcast |
| Lively chat with a poly couple. Decent discussion/observations/insight. | | This Polyamorous Life |
| Interview Format. A more fleshed-out view of what it's like to be in a polyamorous relationship. | | Queen City Poly |
| A more focused, introspective chat about a couple's experiences with polyamory. | | Where Shall We Begin | Specific Interviews | The same podcast mentioned above in the sexless marriage list. Some polyamory relationships are involved in some other sessions. | | 3lationship Goals |
| Unabashedly sexual. One show discussed the economics of scale in a poly household. Nuts and bolts living in poly. A bit less common topics addressed. A bit slow paced, maybe listen at 1.5x speed. Podcast ended when the triad broke up. I took note of warning signs throughout. | | PolyAM Radio |
| Good, but too long since having listened to review | | Poly Saturated |
| "...an in-depth, ongoing discussion from a polyamorous family detailing the poly lifestyle." Breezy trio chit-chatting before getting down the the subject matter at hand. I preferred to skip ahead a little. Play at 1.5x speed for more content faster. Younger panel, they get a bit hot under the collar sometimes.
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| PolyChat
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| Discussion between a poly pair. Not as insightful or original as some others. They seem less versed/experienced. You may be better off with Polyamory Weekly
| | Kinky Nerdy and Poly |
| Mostly Kinky and Nerdy. Not very poly. | | Pacific Northwest Polyamory |
| (not recommended) Chat format. Slower paced. Better choices are available.
| | Two Married Sluts |
| Focuses on the spicy, naughty orgies they attend. More a Swinger environment. Mostly included because they have the best intro music of any poly pod. | | The Ethical Slut | Meh. | You've heard the name. Kinda dull delivery. Meanders some. There are better. |
Polyamory is on the cusp of going mainstream, perhaps in the same place gay rights was in the 90's. Legal recognition and protections are getting passed in some municipalities and the backlash stage will begin soon. Given gay rights' progression and the plentiful analogies to the public dictating what relationships are acceptable, I expect acceptance of polyamory to take a fraction of the time with far less resistance.
The number of podcasts discussing polyamory has grown beyond my ability to review them all.
This list shall remain incomplete and sometimes fail to review superior content, so feel free to add a comment to the thread if you run across an especially informative or entertaining choice.
3/6/24
Polyamory weekly lists poly holidays:
February 28th (February 14 x 2) - Metamour day
March 11th - Solo poly day. Being polyamorous but keeping avoiding high entanglement (shared finances, property, marriage, or a combination)
March 11th may have formerly been or may also be National Singles Day. Some singles do pair bond for lengthy periods, after all. Some just intend to never combine so thoroughly as typical couples do. This acknowledges not everyone is after two kids and a picket fence and maybe that should be okay.
September 23rd - Bisexuality Day (if you like both, how do you stop at "couple"?)
October 11th - Coming out day. (including polyamory revelation)
November 23rd - Polyamory Day (British Columbia, Canada strikes down its polygamy laws in 2011)
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Post by mirrororchid on Jul 30, 2020 7:29:29 GMT -5
UPDATE: 2/21/22This episode index is no longer maintained because it has an active page at Red Circle. Check there to see what's available/new. Presenting: CSL's next essay: Addressing Sexless Marriage - Part VI I narrated and mixed the music, intro, outtro, introduction and main feature. NOTE: Playing these links directly in your browser may stop in the middle. You may have better results downloading the files and playing them with a dedicated .mp3 player (Your OS may have a workable player already. If not, I can recommend the free download at VLC Media Player)
(CSL, author / MirrorOrchid, narrator) drive.google.com/file/d/1k9Gcs1TNFEaK8-MFwxTXvPq0BYGH0p2H/view?usp=sharing4/9/21
Addressing Sexless Marriage - Part V
(CSL, author / MirrorOrchid, narrator) drive.google.com/file/d/1lVPR8Wtl6tbSO8gMv8e0YzrexhVfwBHh/view?usp=sharing3/8/21
Untouchable - The Pain of Refused Wives
(MirrorOrchid, author, narrator) drive.google.com/file/d/1F3DyCGLsK2hm-OVP7TZB3Ipy8zpDD6Cn/view?usp=sharing3/1/21
Addressing Sexless Marriage - Part IV
(CSL, author / MirrorOrchid, narrator) drive.google.com/file/d/1HBAaxHtq7ncTEwqWL8_R21c3ygvlpwOx/view1/25/21
Worse than a Plucked Chicken
(CSL, author / MirrorOrchid, narrator) drive.google.com/file/d/17CBbF2vOwp-li5UsthmfZrRLeV0yfIJc/view?usp=sharing1/13/21
Addressing Sexless Marriage - Part III - Shooting Ourselves in the Foot
(CSL, author / MirrorOrchid, narrator) drive.google.com/file/d/1YPpTUJTFvoXMapW-7OOl3tpuVUJE-gfV/view?usp=sharing12/4/20
Addressing Sexless Marriage - Part II - A Shot Across the Bow
(CSL, author / MirrorOrchid, narrator)
drive.google.com/file/d/1O36egoXwOjwXsZitcAR1Ekl_Ia7ejEEN/view?usp=sharing11/6/20
Addressing Sexless Marriage - Part I
(CSL, author / MirrorOrchid, narrator) drive.google.com/file/d/1yTITGmnlsTi_n873k1HSkgzPu5DeGfWA/view?usp=sharing
9/9/20
Plucked Chicken, Anyone?
(CSL, author and narrator) drive.google.com/file/d/1wX41Xn1Z5fFKEQulCUjXFIECjXAiC7VF/view?usp=sharing7/28/20
Interview - Padgemi (!!!)
drive.google.com/file/d/1_45khTxmvNSO3DLfrXYY-Ter3GMhs7gi/view?usp=sharing6/26/20Sex Skeptics
(CSL, author and narrator) drive.google.com/file/d/1VJlx6NNv5Z2gxXTDSO9lAvZagHbitM3y/view?usp=sharing6/16/20Truly Miserable
(CSL, author / Mirror Orchid, narrator) drive.google.com/file/d/14lUl8snkL13wWxokI_EePzxU_GxwHomw/view?usp=sharing* Some liberal-bashing. I'm one of the tree-hugger, free love, hippie-dippie types he's talking about, so... you can survive too. He gets to the SM stuff quick. Roll your eyes if you must and sip your arugala-flavored Zima with me.
Jun 16, 2020 at 9:23pm mirrororchid said:
*Refused* 6/16/20 Essays about sexless marriages, research reports, and anonymous Interviews with ILIASM.org members (Want to share your experiences in order to help other sexless marriages? PM me.)
Jun 26, 2020
It's June 2020 and against all my own expectations, I'm posting an unpolished pilot of * Refused * on the schedule I predicted.
It's the essay "Truly Miserable" by CSL. It needs an intro and maybe an outro, but CSL and I wanted to see what interest there might be in hearing more.
July 28, 2020
Our first interview episode... with Padgemi!!! (Thank you!)
Podcast editor Danksworth put it together with intro and outro music. (He's out of work with the COVID crush, so I got his work at an absolute steal. Get him now while he's on sale.) Any inferiority in this podcast can be fully attributable to my primitive equipment. Good Mr. Danksworth gave me pointers for better recording if I can I schedule more interviews.
The intro and outro music comes from XTaKeRuX's "Drown In Thoughts" from freemusicarchive.org
Enjoy.
September 9, 2020
CSL's "Plucked Chicken, Anyone?". Narrated by the author.
Mixed by Mirrororchid this time.
The intro and outro music comes from XTaKeRuX's "Drown In Thoughts" from freemusicarchive.org
November 6, 2020
CSL's "Addressing Sexless Marriage - Part I".
Narrated and mixed by Mirrororchid.
The intro and outro music comes from XTaKeRuX's "Drown In Thoughts" from freemusicarchive.org
December 5, 2020
CSL's "Addressing Sexless Marriage - Part II - Shot across the bow.".
Narrated and mixed by Mirrororchid.
The intro and outro music comes from XTaKeRuX's "Drown In Thoughts" from freemusicarchive.org
January 13, 2021
CSL's "Addressing Sexless Marriage - Part III - Shooting Ourselves in the Foot".
Narrated and mixed by Mirrororchid.
The intro and outro music comes from XTaKeRuX's "Drown In Thoughts" on their album "Illusions" from freemusicarchive.org
Jan 25th, 2021
CSL's "Worse Than a Plucked Chicken".
Written and narrated by CSL, himself.
Mixed by Mirrororchid.
The intro and outro music comes from XTaKeRuX's "Drown In Thoughts" on their album "Illusions" from freemusicarchive.org
March 1st, 2021
CSL's "Addressing Sexless Marriage - Part IV".
Narrated and mixed by Mirrororchid.
The intro and outro music comes from XTaKeRuX's "Drown In Thoughts" on their album "Illusions" from freemusicarchive.org
March 8, 2021
MirrorOrchid's "Untouchable - The Pain of Refused Wives"
Authored, narrated and mixed by Mirrororchid.
The intro and outro music comes from XTaKeRuX's "Drown In Thoughts" on their album "Illusions" from freemusicarchive.org
April 9, 2021
CSL's "Addressing Sexless Marriage - Part V".
Narrated and mixed by Mirrororchid.
The intro and outro music comes from XTaKeRuX's "Drown In Thoughts" on their album "Illusions" from freemusicarchive.orgMay 4, 2021,
CSL's "Addressing Sexless Marriage - Part IV".
Narrated and mixed by Mirrororchid.
The intro and outro music comes from XTaKeRuX's "Drown In Thoughts" on their album "Illusions" from freemusicarchive.org
END SEASON 1. |
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Post by Handy on Aug 3, 2020 2:09:34 GMT -5
I listened to the 3 pod casts. Good interviewing and story telling guys.
Padgemi, during your interview and story telling, your W going to different churches happen about the same way for me. I was willing to stay with the same church but my W kept finding faults with the groups, so she kept switching churches about the time I was feeling at home with the group.
I now believe several things taught by church doctrine to be detrimental to the human nature of people, mostly to keep the church economics and political structure in tact at some people's expenses. I am now more into Biology, sociology and how evolution fits in with how people express the way they live.
In practical terms, science, physics geology and the other forms of study indicate the area where I live rose 4,000 feet from its former sea bed floor. One reason is sharks teeth. Yes shark teeth, with the nearest ocean over a thousand miles away and at over 3,000 ft above sea level Those things, astrophysics and how elements were discovered and how elements are made, doesn't fit in with some of the church teachings from 30 years ago and more recent ones too.
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Post by Handy on Aug 3, 2020 11:36:35 GMT -5
AliasHelenT, love to hear stories on a podcast.
My story? Offical=DSM-3, Difficulty adapting to changes.
Unofficial=being what R. Glover describes as a "Nice Guy." Also challenged in the area of having fun and going for what I want. Add in being a bit too self sufficient.
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Post by saarinista on Aug 3, 2020 18:21:48 GMT -5
What's the deal with this? Is some illiasmer doing a real podcast or are people just reading essays for fun?
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Post by csl on Aug 3, 2020 22:09:17 GMT -5
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Post by Handy on Aug 3, 2020 23:45:37 GMT -5
Saarinista, yes real podcasts on the 3 links Mirrororchid listed. They are long enough to hear real voices. All 3 stopped about half way through so remember the time frame where they stop, close the podcast and reopen it to the time where it stopped to hear the piece to the end.
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Post by mirrororchid on Aug 4, 2020 6:14:12 GMT -5
Saarinista, yes real podcasts on the 3 links Mirrororchid listed. They are long enough to hear real voices. All 3 stopped about half way through so remember the time frame where they stop, close the podcast and reopen it to the time where it stopped to hear the piece to the end. Thanks for the technical issue report, Handy. I've put a note above the podcast list suggesting downloading the links instead of playing them in the browser. (Is that what you were doing?) Like Handy says, saarinista, CSL's essays struck me as ripe podcast material. Hardly anyone reads these days but listening in your car is time everyone could use to learn with or entertain themselves when the radio is playing the same songs over and over. I knew I wanted interviews mixed in because no one seems to be doing that with sexless marriage as the topic. Padgemi was kind enough to be the starter pistol. I'll be contacting @aliashelent. Hopefully we'll get a second interview and maybe csl will pick another essay for us. (I can narrate again (and pick the essay too, if desired) if you can't find the time, my good man. Just give me the 'go ahead') Handy, having given us a one-liner summary of your experience, might I ask for a fleshed out version for another episode someday? |
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Post by csl on Aug 6, 2020 16:01:59 GMT -5
In mirrororchid ’s 3/4/20 post listing a number of podcasts that he has come across, including Sexy Marriage Radio. Of it, he wrote: One of their old podcasts, #122, is titled The Sexless Marriage, and in it the two co-hosts talk of confrontation and deciding on whether or not you might feel a SM is a dealbreaker. |
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Post by Handy on Aug 6, 2020 18:04:12 GMT -5
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Post by jerri on Sept 2, 2020 1:48:07 GMT -5
All of you guys did an amazing job. I am really proud of you! 💜
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Post by mirrororchid on Sept 9, 2020 18:04:34 GMT -5
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