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Post by worksforme2 on Jul 6, 2018 9:30:38 GMT -5
In my former occupation I was a builder of large construction projects, interstate highways, dams, bridges, nuclear power plants. There were virtually no women that were professionally equivalent to me or at least I never had occasion to meet one. And I never considered sex with the female employees in the office. Had an opportunity such as you describe presented itself I more than likely would have availed myself of that opportunity. It would have been full speed ahead and damn the torpedoes.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jul 6, 2018 10:56:23 GMT -5
It’s sad, really. Don’t get me wrong - some stories are chilling. However, this reduces the work-place boinking pool to douchebags and dumbasses. Unintended consequences for a place most sexually active people spend the majority of their waking hours. Oy Vey. I don't think there is any stigma yet of romantic relationships with coworkers, as long as one is not in a position of responsibility over the other. I know some companies aren't happy if the couple is in the same department, probably because it could make things awkward if the relationship goes south. |
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Post by h on Jul 6, 2018 14:48:36 GMT -5
Personally, I would be nervous that I was being set up for a sexual harassment lawsuit. In today's climate of consequences based on accusations rather than facts, I would be very cautious about any interaction with a co-worker. Maybe the news has just made me paranoid but when people are getting fired from jobs and expelled from colleges even after accusations are investigated and proven false, it wouldn't be worth the risk to put myself in a situation like that. (Hypothetically speaking of course, as I'm still married and don't plan on flirting with anyone unless I get out first.)
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jul 6, 2018 14:56:37 GMT -5
Personally, I would be nervous that I was being set up for a sexual harassment lawsuit. In today's climate of consequences based on accusations rather than facts, I would be very cautious about any interaction with a co-worker. Maybe the news has just made me paranoid but when people are getting fired from jobs and expelled from colleges even after accusations are investigated and proven false, it wouldn't be worth the risk to put myself in a situation like that. (Hypothetically speaking of course, as I'm still married and don't plan on flirting with anyone unless I get out first.) You got a point. Many years ago, even before the current environment, I ran an online bulletin board with jokes for my building, part of a major telecom company. At one point I wanted to make a joke about a female in the department, and I thought that the joke could be taken to be sexist even though it wasn't, so I asked her permission to run the joke, showing it to her. She said OK. Then she complained to my boss about harassment after I posted it. He HAD to take the complaint seriously because that is what HR says. Luckily, I removed the post immediately and apologized to her, and she dropped it. But my career could have been torpedoed if she had been a little more of a psycho. |
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Post by nyctos on Jul 9, 2018 7:49:21 GMT -5
Flattered. As for the possibilities for harassment, it depends how well I knew the person.
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Post by javba on Jul 9, 2018 12:38:51 GMT -5
I'd be flattered, but the decision will come down to risk-reward-openness continuum. Can mutual back-scratching work? If I cannot be open - then it's not likely to go forward.
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Post by flyingsolo on Jul 9, 2018 18:05:09 GMT -5
It’s sad, really. Don’t get me wrong - some stories are chilling. However, this reduces the work-place boinking pool to douchebags and dumbasses. Unintended consequences for a place most sexually active people spend the majority of their waking hours. Oy Vey. Work-place boinking pool. LOL |
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Post by idgaf96 on Jul 10, 2018 18:17:02 GMT -5
I would tread lightly. I worked with a guy about 4 years ago. he still emails me or texts about every 3 months trying to hook up. it didn't happen then and it sure as hell wont happen now.
go at it more like a professional lunch or something.
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Post by flyingsolo on Jul 10, 2018 18:28:47 GMT -5
Case by case basis I suppose, but I think I would be flattered, particularly if I was also attracted to this person. If you were single and this person that you were dealing with on a professional level wasn't an employee of the same company you are nor involved with any of your other co-workers at said company AND didn't have the ability to make your employment and/or professional life hell should your budding relationship eventually go astray, I would say there is more of a green light to proceed with caution. This assumes you are single. If you are married the stakes are much higher, especially if your spouse finds out.
On a personal level, my single, attractive executive assistant, who is female (and very sexual), flirts with me in ways I think my wife would be very upset about but I have never crossed the line for two reasons:
1.) I'm married and still trying to see if my marriage can be saved
2.) I'm the boss and don't dip my pen in company ink.
However, I know things about my assistant that no one else knows including what she likes sexually, etc. She knows things about me as well. We hang out at the office after work some Fridays, have beers and shoot the shit for a few hours but have never crossed the line. Ironically, when we hung out a few weeks ago we both jokingly signed a mutual statement after a few beers that we would "never ever, ever, ever, ever, ever repeat anything the other told us in confidence".
That being written, were I single and were she to give me signs that she wanted to take care of my "needs" after being in a sexless marriage for the better part of five years, I would really have to force myself not to go there. Too many bad things can happen.
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Post by flyingsolo on Jul 10, 2018 18:32:56 GMT -5
I will also add that someone recently told me a story about going on a business trip while they were having problems in their marriage. She ended up cheating with a guy who was a mutual business contact of her husband and several co-workers. This guy had been flirting with her on and off over a year on other business trips where they ended up in the same place and she finally gave in after a big fight with her husband. Needless to say, the husband found out through the grapevine and they ended up divorced and it caused issues with her employment and business contacts since they ultimately found out what she did. Tread lightly....
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Post by time4intimacy on Jul 10, 2018 21:02:58 GMT -5
I would be flattered, but one thing I did not see mentioned is his availability. I recently had a co-worker tell me while we were traveling on a business trip that she has had sex dreams about me and it is all she can do to resist forcing herself on me and how she wants me to take control of her. I was flattered, but also felt so uncomfortable about her saying it when I am married and unavailable (although I need sex bad), plus I am the boss of the company and it would risk my authority. If he is available, you have nothing to lose other than possibly having your feelings hurt. Trust me, if you need someone to practice on, let me know, even if it is fake it would feel good.  |
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Post by ironhamster on Jul 14, 2018 10:53:17 GMT -5
Agreed. I would be flattered, as long as it wasn't creepy. Somebody letting me know they had a crush on me seems it would be an uplifting thing. Somebody telling me that, then reminding me regularly after that would be stalkerish.
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okiedude
Junior Member
Learning to live with my Situation.
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Age Range: 46-50
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Post by okiedude on Jul 14, 2018 12:58:36 GMT -5
I would be flattered except be careful because some people flirt with no intentions. Many times flirting with a married woman by a married man shows the man he still has it but knows it is safe because nothing will happen. Or wants to screw around on his wife and wants someone with equal amounts of loss factor so they won't tell. A single woman might snitch on a guy because he won't choose her over the wife.
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spartan92
New Member
Still sexless in Missouri, but I guess there is always hope!
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Post by spartan92 on Jul 20, 2018 0:57:25 GMT -5
I have a question for the men out there. If someone that you dealt with on a professional level but flirted with came back to you and told you that they had feelings for you long afterwards the last time you talked to each other would you be flattered or think the woman was kind of a psycho? Looking for honest answers here! I think that sometimes it takes awhile for people to sort out their feelings. That could be the reason. I wouldn't think a woman that did that was psycho. Considering the way things are going with me right now I would be flattered that a woman had feelings for me. I've been kind of short on getting that kind of response for several years now. |
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Post by Carol on Jul 20, 2018 3:30:34 GMT -5
Thank you for all of your input. I guess I should fill you all in a little more why I ask this question. I have really strong feelings for a man who was once a doctor of mine. I know there are so many other issues involved with that but it has been over two years since I last saw him in a professional setting. I cannot stop thinking about this man. We flirted a little when I was a patient (I know I did) but I’ve always wondered if he was interested in me in that way. The reason I think that he might is that there is a video of him on YouTube for his practice that I watch often. It’s just so I can see him and hear his voice. It seems that for every time I watch it, someone watches it an equal of times. Could it be him? I don’t know but part of me thinks it is. The reason I ask what I did is that if I did decide to contact him would he think I’m psycho? I guess I was just looking for a mans opinion on the thought of contacting him. As far as his martial status, I believe he is married. Would a man openly flirt with a woman if he was happily married?
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