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Post by tiredofbeinglonely on Sept 17, 2018 16:11:48 GMT -5
Wow..that is exciting. Im happy you took a leap of faith I hate to rain on anyone's parade and be a debbie downer, but I'd be remiss not to mention that workplace romances while exciting can be akin to walking into a beautiful meadow full of landmines underneath the surface. Please read up on pros and cons. Do an honest risk assesment. My son's previous pediatrician's husband worked at the same employer as me. The guy had an affair with a colleague. When it came out in the open, the guy's career and reputation went relatively unscathed in the long run, but she found it difficult to stay and moved to a lower paying job outside the company. Granted that was a discrete affair that came out in the open, but I think it serves as a relevant data point. He said yes to dinner this week! Think I might pass out now. We don't work together anymore  I moved to another, unassociated, site a few months ago. I get where you are coming from though. If things were different, I would never have pursued anything. |
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Post by greatcoastal on Sept 17, 2018 17:19:58 GMT -5
Wear something low cut.... yet classy. And don't be a PIA about where to eat!!! Do some Love languages... Touching, words of affirmation, discuss some quality time, see if you connect. May I suggest if things go well say, "let's go talk some more somewhere else. Like a park where there is people yet more secluded. You've got this!
I would also suggest, from my recent experiences, be aware of two things.
1) You ask question after question. He answers them honestly. Some answers lead to more questions, and on and on..... Give him a chance to say, "so tell me about you".
2) You tell him ALL ABOUT yourself! How much your children weighed when they were born, what a terrible man your ex was, where you bought your glasses, what foods you don't like, all about your cat and your dog, etc........ Okay, he's a good listener (like he had much choice) suddenly it's 11:00 pm and he would have liked to have invited you to go somewhere else! Instead of having a table between the two of you.
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Post by tiredofbeinglonely on Sept 18, 2018 9:57:56 GMT -5
It's definitely been awhile. My brain keeps playing the 'why did he say yes' game. Thankfully I didn't have to wait long. He messaged last night to talk. I asked why he said yes...he said because you are beautiful and definitely someone I want to know more about'. I still have a hard time with beautiful...my marriage did a number on my self esteem. Hopefully that will change in time. Thank you for the support guys |
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Post by Deleted on Sept 18, 2018 10:10:28 GMT -5
It's definitely been awhile. My brain keeps playing the 'why did he say yes' game. Thankfully I didn't have to wait long. He messaged last night to talk. I asked why he said yes...he said because you are beautiful and definitely someone I want to know more about'. I still have a hard time with beautiful...my marriage did a number on my self esteem. Hopefully that will change in time. Thank you for the support guys And he is calling you beautiful before he sees how much more weight you lost! This sounds really promising. We are all rooting (so to speak) for you! |
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Post by TheGreatContender -aka Daddeeo on Sept 18, 2018 10:25:59 GMT -5
Dam girl...is it me or is it getting hot in the kitchen ;-) It's definitely been awhile. My brain keeps playing the 'why did he say yes' game. Thankfully I didn't have to wait long. He messaged last night to talk. I asked why he said yes...he said because you are beautiful and definitely someone I want to know more about'. I still have a hard time with beautiful...my marriage did a number on my self esteem. Hopefully that will change in time. Thank you for the support guys |
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Post by greatcoastal on Sept 18, 2018 10:29:42 GMT -5
It's definitely been awhile. My brain keeps playing the 'why did he say yes' game. Thankfully I didn't have to wait long. He messaged last night to talk. I asked why he said yes...he said because you are beautiful and definitely someone I want to know more about'. I still have a hard time with beautiful...my marriage did a number on my self esteem. Hopefully that will change in time. Thank you for the support guys YOU are beautiful! You gave him a beautiful compliment by speaking to him! He appreciates that. NOW it's time for receiving (taking). let me guess? You are used to receiving a crumb? Say thank you, when he opens the door for you,and let your smile radiate your beauty! Wait for him to pull out your chair, thank him again verbally and with a touch. Tell yourself 10 times today " I AM S E X Y". Write it on your hand. I remember recently when becca posted on here recently and said " I am sexy". It's true, she is. It's sad that there is doubt. it's understandable that you need proof. Believing in yourself " even though it has been damaged" will help you heal. Want to be BOLD? Tell him something sexy you like to wear, somewhere sexy you would 'eventually' like to go, a sexy song you like, etc... use the word sexy. See how he reacts. Accidentally put your foot next to his, touch his hands as you talk. Ask for a compliment! Do you like what I am wearing? Get up and go to the bathroom, let him see all of you. Not just from the chest up from across the table. If you see someone you know at the restaurant, take a minute go over and do a brief hello. Hopefully he can see you, show him you are a sociable, giving person. Give compliments to your waitress/waiter. Have a memorable time, and consider it all part of your journey as you move "through' it. Through is the key. You are going to do great! |
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Post by tiredofbeinglonely on Sept 18, 2018 17:47:54 GMT -5
It's definitely been awhile. My brain keeps playing the 'why did he say yes' game. Thankfully I didn't have to wait long. He messaged last night to talk. I asked why he said yes...he said because you are beautiful and definitely someone I want to know more about'. I still have a hard time with beautiful...my marriage did a number on my self esteem. Hopefully that will change in time. Thank you for the support guys YOU are beautiful! You gave him a beautiful compliment by speaking to him! He appreciates that. NOW it's time for receiving (taking). let me guess? You are used to receiving a crumb? Say thank you, when he opens the door for you,and let your smile radiate your beauty! Wait for him to pull out your chair, thank him again verbally and with a touch. Tell yourself 10 times today " I AM S E X Y". Write it on your hand. I remember recently when becca posted on here recently and said " I am sexy". It's true, she is. It's sad that there is doubt. it's understandable that you need proof. Believing in yourself " even though it has been damaged" will help you heal. Want to be BOLD? Tell him something sexy you like to wear, somewhere sexy you would 'eventually' like to go, a sexy song you like, etc... use the word sexy. See how he reacts. Accidentally put your foot next to his, touch his hands as you talk. Ask for a compliment! Do you like what I am wearing? Get up and go to the bathroom, let him see all of you. Not just from the chest up from across the table. If you see someone you know at the restaurant, take a minute go over and do a brief hello. Hopefully he can see you, show him you are a sociable, giving person. Give compliments to your waitress/waiter. Have a memorable time, and consider it all part of your journey as you move "through' it. Through is the key. You are going to do great! Good advice. We are going to dinner...then whatever. I will do my best to be confident. I really don't want to screw this up by letting my head get in the way. |
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Post by greatcoastal on Sept 18, 2018 18:05:19 GMT -5
Good advice. We are going to dinner...then whatever. I will do my best to be confident. I really don't want to screw this up by letting my head get in the way. I thought only men did that," think with the wrong head!" Do you know what restaurant you are going to? If not, maybe you can see the menu on line and be familiar with it. Every bit of being confident and comfortable helps! |
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Post by tiredofbeinglonely on Sept 18, 2018 19:13:29 GMT -5
Good advice. We are going to dinner...then whatever. I will do my best to be confident. I really don't want to screw this up by letting my head get in the way. I thought only men did that," think with the wrong head!" Do you know what restaurant you are going to? If not, maybe you can see the menu on line and be familiar with it. Every bit of being confident and comfortable helps! Yep, know the restaurant. It's one I have gone to several times, so should be comfortable. I am the most worried about not feeling good enough for him or being crappy at sex,if that were too happen. It's been a LONG time lol |
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Post by greatcoastal on Sept 18, 2018 19:27:32 GMT -5
I thought only men did that," think with the wrong head!" Do you know what restaurant you are going to? If not, maybe you can see the menu on line and be familiar with it. Every bit of being confident and comfortable helps! Yep, know the restaurant. It's one I have gone to several times, so should be comfortable. I am the most worried about not feeling good enough for him or being crappy at sex,if that were too happen. It's been a LONG time lol I am not going to act like I know what I am talking about, I've only had my one experience with sex since my divorce. Explaining my past situation did help set the stage for how things might need to be handled ,and what level to set yours and his expectations. Others disagree and think it's the last thing you should mention until months into the relationship. I am discovering more and more as I delve into dating, that the first date is a trial run. A good practice exercise. One thing you can do for yourself is decide " we are mature adults. It's perfectly okay and acceptable to at least confirm vocally by the third date, that sex and intimacy are deal breakers for your next relationship. That you have needs and they will be filled. Hopefully he will respect that, and you can both feel validated. Heck, then you "should" be able to communicate, trust and share about most anything. Just make it through the first date, and don't be afraid to ask about seeing him again. Talk about your schedule and his, and don't just hint. "guys miss those" let him know it's about meeting again. That's if you want too. |
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Post by jamesbonding on Sept 18, 2018 21:11:10 GMT -5
I am the most worried about not feeling good enough for him or being crappy at sex,if that were too happen. It's been a LONG time lol He might be worried about the same things about himself. Ever heard of "performance anxiety"? A couple of things that might help: - TELL HIM that you are worried about... whatever. I have sometimes found that once I have spoken about something that worries me, the worry goes away. - There's no law that says that if you go to bed with someone, you have to have sex immediately. Slow down, relax, snuggle up with each other, enjoy taking a nap together, talk, or don't talk, as you please. That builds up trust, lets you feel safe and comfortable with each other, and makes sex easier (allows erections and lubrication to happen). What's the status of this guy you're going to meet? Is he single or married? If you do get intimate, would you have just a few hours, or could you spend whole weekends together? |
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Post by choosinghappy on Sept 20, 2018 21:47:09 GMT -5
Wear something that makes you feel confident as hell!
And PS: It’s like riding a bike; it’ll all come back once you’re in the situation. Have fun!!
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Post by tiredofbeinglonely on Sept 21, 2018 10:11:57 GMT -5
Can't believe it is today!
He's divorced and his kids live in another site with the mother. She was very controlling and he has often said he was surprised they even had kids (lack of sex). I didn't say much about it at the time...self confidence was at an all time low. Feeling a bit better now.
I have the outfit ready. Can't wait!
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Post by greatcoastal on Sept 21, 2018 10:16:14 GMT -5
I am SEXY
I am SEXY
I am SEXY
I am SEXY!!!!!
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Post by tiredofbeinglonely on Sept 22, 2018 8:42:20 GMT -5
We had a really nice time. No sex...but it felt good to talk to someone, flirt, kiss, and feel sexy. For once, I actually felt that way. I think there will be more of these...hope really |
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I moved to another, unassociated, site a few months ago.
