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Post by petrushka on Mar 11, 2018 2:12:40 GMT -5
Any chance of getting to the supervisor / head of department at the "youth care" office that's been dealing with the case?
To me this sounds like an extreme case of incompetence.
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Post by tamara68 on Mar 11, 2018 4:48:19 GMT -5
petrushka, It was decided by the caseworker together with the team and her supervisor. there is nothing else to expect from them.
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Post by tamara68 on Mar 11, 2018 13:07:43 GMT -5
baza thanks, I will hold the door open and keep sending e-mails. I hope I will hear from her at some point.
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Post by tamara68 on May 29, 2018 10:35:25 GMT -5
A little while ago Youth Care has let me know that they give up. They have managed to speak with my daughter only once and not a single time with her dad. A few weeks ago the case worker has sent a request to the judge to end their interference. Because there is no benefit to be expected.
Yesterday this was in court. This time my daughter and her dad both were not there. The judge has asked good questions and he had clearly read the file well.
Today I heard the verdict. The interference of youth care has been terminated as they wished. I knew that was almost 100% certain, but feel very sad nevertheless. For almost 2 years since I have left, I have been asking for solutions and advice for my daughter. And eventually nothing has happened. Not because nobody wanted to help, but because nobody knows what to do when standard protocol doesn't work.
So all I can do is keep sending e-mails and cards to my daughter to keep reaching out. And hope she will be able to get in touch with me again. And hope that in the mean time she finds a way to get her own identity despite her dad.
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Post by ted on May 29, 2018 11:25:39 GMT -5
This is very saddening and angering, tamara68. I can only imagine your pain. The tragedy and malevolence in life is a bitch. It's encouraging to see you persevering as best you can. |
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Post by tamara68 on May 29, 2018 12:25:59 GMT -5
Thanks ted, I feel sad but I try to make the best of it and hopefully one day my daughter will be free as well. |
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Post by greatcoastal on May 29, 2018 13:45:54 GMT -5
The lack of teeth that laws can have is just incredible. So many of us sit idle (myself included) until it happens to you. I'm verry , very proud of your efforts, you should be too! lets hope your daughter will be, someday.
Loosing all connection with children IS a price that comes with divorce. It may have been going on during the marriage due to the other spouses coercion's, but the divorce seems to make it 100%.
The hope I want to offer you is that you did very little wrong to your daughter. Other daughters have endured far worse behaviors from abusive moms and still have relationships. Let's hope your daughter sees that with time, and there can be a re-connection. (their are stories out there)
(The same for my 3 older boys)
It's the "what to do for those years in-between" question.
your welcome to share with us your minor personal victories. Things that continue to give you joy, and how you are a lamp in a dark place to others.
Hugs to you sweet woman!
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Post by choosinghappy on May 29, 2018 13:56:00 GMT -5
((Hugs)) tamara68. I’m sorry. I hope she’ll reach out. |
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Post by northstarmom on May 29, 2018 15:04:31 GMT -5
I’m so sorry. What a heartbreaking situation! I hope that as she matures she will gain the wisdom to recognize your love and she will reconnect with you.
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Post by tamara68 on May 29, 2018 15:14:12 GMT -5
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Post by Deleted on May 29, 2018 17:20:05 GMT -5
I’m so sorry....I agree with other posters, maybe she will reach out to you. You’re the only mother she’ll ever have, and with maturity, hopefully she will realize what a treasure you are.
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Post by bballgirl on May 29, 2018 17:46:40 GMT -5
I'm so sorry to hear this. I'm going to say a prayer that your daughter will reach out to you. No matter what you are her mother and she knows that and in time she will realize the truth. Hugs
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Post by misssunnybunny on May 29, 2018 17:48:59 GMT -5
Oh, tamara68, I am so sorry to hear this. I can only hope that your daughter will one day respond to your messages. Sending positive thoughts your way |
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Post by baza on May 29, 2018 22:27:36 GMT -5
You choose to keep your door open and the welcome mat out for your daughter Sister tamara68 , just as you have been doing. Your former spouse chooses to keep acting like a prick, just as he has previously. Your daughter has exercised her obligation of choice too, and for the moment that means staying with her father. You can hold your head up high tamara68 . You have exercised your obligation of choice over every aspect of the situation you could. It is not possible for you to have done any more. Your ex spouse's - and your daughter's - choices are not yours to make. And the consequences of their choices are theirs to wear. I totally admire the way you have conducted yourself through this whole thing Sister tamara68 . And where-as the outcome has - as of today - not been ideal, that is only the fact today. It might not be the case tomorrow. Your job is to keep the door open and the welcome mat out for your daughter - a job that you have discharged with aplomb up to now. |
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Post by tamara68 on May 30, 2018 11:43:57 GMT -5
Thanks @smartkat, bballgirl, misssunnybunny and baza. The support I have had from you and everyone here on the forum has been so important to me in many ways. It helped to move forward and to feel more confident about the choices I have made. I hope my daughter will be able to make her own choices some day. |
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