no, it's not easier for women

I'm posting this here because I don't want to jack someone's thread when this is a side issue, but I beyond sick of this idea that it's easier for women to find a lover.  Maybe in the land of Ashley Madison, it's easier, but let's bring this thing into the real world where women are looking for someone to have an actual relationship with, not just someone to hook up with for a night of sex.  

One of the men posted:
"If you take an average room of single men and women, it's a fair bet that 99% of the men would be ready and willing if a woman simply looked their way.
On the other hand, it's typically the men who have to make the approach and women being the higher species are naturally more discerning and can pick and choose from among the horny bastards lined up waiting for their chance. Now granted it may be harder for women to find someone who bathes regularly and speaks in complete sentences, but am I wrong that you all have an unending line of applicants?"

You are, indeed, wrong. There is no unending line of potential partners just because I happen to be female. Now if I was 25 and hot, maybe that would be true. How many average looking women in their 50s have you approached and asked out for coffee?

Let me give you a little snapshot of what it's like to be 51, single and female. I have a very dear friend who happens to be 20 years younger than me. When the two of us join a group run, men my age will walk right past me to flirt with her, even though she is married. Women are held to an impossible standard of beauty - be thin, be curvy, have big boobs, have great hair, be sexy, be classy, stay young forever. Men at least are allowed to age.  And believe me, it's not because these men are so physically perfect - all of them, average, good looking and not so good looking, will walk past me to talk to a woman who would never, ever have anything to do with them romantically.  What am I supposed to do?  Grab one of them by the arm and say, "Hey, talk to me, I might actually sleep with you and she never will!  I know I'm clearly below your standard in some way, but maybe if you get to know me you'll decide to give me a chance."  And if I do strike up a conversation with one of them, I either get to watch their eyes follow around some younger woman or I get the "friendly" brush off.  I am looking their way, and they don't even see me.

So there's the flip side of your coin. Maybe it's true that men generally are expected to do the approaching, but I am perfectly willing to be the one to strike up a conversation. Too bad most men my age are too busy looking over my shoulder for someone with unlined skin and a body as yet unaffected by gravity.  Even when I was young, it wasn't easy.  I became friends with a guy I had once asked to go to a play with me (he turned me down) and later I asked him why he wasn't attracted to me.  Get ready for this one - he said I was too tall.  Add that to the list of qualifications - be short enough to make a man feel manly.

Guys, just stop.  Stop thinking it's easier for women.  It's not easy for any of us, other than a few individuals blessed with charm and confidence that just mystifies the rest of us.  And it's even harder for those of us, men and women, who have endured rejection over years and years.  This is not some contest to see who has it worst - we're all struggling, we all have fears and insecurities, and a lot of us, myself included, are afraid we will never find a partner that will love us passionately and will build a life with us.

Rant over.  Let the slamming commence.