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Post by greatcoastal on May 14, 2016 13:22:30 GMT -5
I think it's as easy or hard for either sex. It's all in the attitude. Mine changes from 1 hour to the next, sometimes I can be bolshy and out there and others I'm a little mouse. If I'm feeling good I'll put myself out there, if not I won't. Some people make many sexual comments, then a sexual comment is said to them and they say "e wwww!" Yes, people are fun! |
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Post by Deleted on May 14, 2016 17:13:45 GMT -5
I think all would agree it depends what you want. If you want a relationship then that is hard for everyone. But if you want just sex all a woman has to do is let it be known. The chances of her getting rejected are almost nil. A man in the same position will face rejection over and over sometimes for years on end.
Just as an aside I've been posting on sexless marriage groups for over 15 years and this subject is one of about 1/2 a dozen or so that gets argued over and over year in and year out. I usually give the "starving man/starving woman lost in the wilderness/desert argument to explain the difference when it comes to finding sexual partners....lol
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Post by DryCreek on May 14, 2016 19:15:39 GMT -5
Corollary to my earlier comment here...
* Women want men flocking to them? Advertise sex. Don't expect commitment.
* Men want women flocking to them? Advertise commitment. Don't expect sex.
Want both? You pretty much have to promote what appeals to the opposite, then filter the results to find your match. It takes effort.
This is classic marketing - if you can't get prospects through the door, they'll never know what you've got to offer. (Bait & switch is a negative version of this, where the advertised goods aren't delivered.)
DC
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Post by bballgirl on May 14, 2016 21:01:25 GMT -5
Corollary to my earlier comment here... * Women want men flocking to them? Advertise sex. Don't expect commitment. * Men want women flocking to them? Advertise commitment. Don't expect sex. Want both? You pretty much have to promote what appeals to the opposite, then filter the results to find your match. It takes effort. This is classic marketing - if you can't get prospects through the door, they'll never know what you've got to offer. (Bait & switch is a negative version of this, where the advertised goods aren't delivered.) DC So true! Dating is work! Seriously! It's a numbers game. You might have a lot in common but then there's no chemistry but only one way to find out, got to test drive the car. |
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Post by worksforme2 on May 14, 2016 21:09:14 GMT -5
I am always amazed when I read or hear a woman say this. I think some fat, ugly old lesbian somewhere, who first concocted this fallacy, is having a good laugh at the columns of women who have bought into it. As a 67 yr. old male with a significant # of male friends, divorced and married, I have yet to hear one of them say he wants a woman half his age or even significantly younger. If this were even remotely true where is the anacedial evidence. There should be a fair # males walking down the street with a nice piece of arm candy at their side. Like me my divorced male friends who are on dating sites generally seek woman within a reasonably appropriate range to our own age. We're not looking for arm candy. What we are looking for is an intelligent woman that is caring, able to communicate, confident in herself, has a good sense of humor, shares a fair # of values with us, is still interested in intimacy, and is realistic in her expectations of what her expectations should be in a man and who doesn't have an inflated value of what she brings to the relationship. The "men don't want middle-aged women" generalization reminds me of another old saying: "there are no frigid women, just men who are poor lovers". |
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Post by baza on May 14, 2016 22:21:58 GMT -5
I can't help thinking this is like a pissing contest.
"Who has had the longest dry spell" ?
"Who has the worst ILIASM shithole" ?
"Who has the most complicated situation" ?
"Who has the most dysfunctional spouse" ?
And now, - -
"Who has the easier / harder time in finding a new person" ?
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As far as YOUR particular ILIASM shithole and its' unique set of circumstances goes, the answer to all of the above is "YOU".
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Irrespective of whether YOUR situation is the severest on record here, or if it is among the supposed "better" / "easier" situations, the resolvement is going to come from YOU. And, such resolvement is going to be incredibly difficult - wherever you slot in to the spectrum of "best" to "worst".
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I'm just not seeing the 'pissing contests' as being a particularly helpful thing to engage in.
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Post by sand5280 on May 15, 2016 3:51:16 GMT -5
Women are held to an impossible standard of beauty - be thin, be curvy, have big boobs, have great hair, be sexy, be classy, stay young forever. What do I want? I want a woman who is past the putting up with bullshit stage, mine, her's or anyone else's. Past all the "life lesson's" that I've gone thru as well. I want a woman with those beautiful lines on her face, curves in all the right AND wrong places and the look of "been there, done that" in her eyes. I want a woman that when I'm talking to her, I can see the depth of her past, the trials she's been thru, and a look of the experienced passion she has inside her. I am looking for a partner, an equal partner. A partner in life's everyday hassles, and a partner in crime. I am a male and instinctively will look at a female's muscular butt. So I ask what else does that butt have to offer? I am 49, so is sweetie. I cannot list everything but I do know a few things that keep me going. My turn now to ramble about appreciating things one should not overlook, and consider whether or not included with the butt: SweepyBear One of the greatest aphrodisiacs is a genuine conversation with a lot of shared frames of reference and a good vocabulary.
I find nothing more disheartening than lazy language and an inability to thread more than two cogent sentences together.
I consider my vocabulary to be developed. Three years ago she used one her favorite words nefarious, I knew the general meaning but had to look it up. Continue with the other aspects I may need: She knows what a dollar is, how and when to use it, and what it takes to get the next one. She has a huge red frying pan that she loves. When I see this thing out, I know to be prepared for a meal that may require photographers. I have tools and construction stuff littered all over the place, never a single complaint, she knows the good hammer drill lives under that chair so we can find it. I have no understanding of health insurance whatsoever. I give her the policy, bills, documents, she knows what to do. She does not move too fast and is frequently in more pain than anyone deserves, but doggone it she makes sure I am happy. More, more, more... JMX I think about the women and their pictures on this board. Each one of us is beautiful in our own way. And, we already know each other's hearts and personalities to boot. We're all pretty fantastic!
So the @mountainrunner and samedeepwater example of the young shapely female, most likely her butt does not include these features. |
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Post by Deleted on May 15, 2016 19:55:19 GMT -5
Corollary to my earlier comment here... * Women want men flocking to them? Advertise sex. Don't expect commitment. * Men want women flocking to them? Advertise commitment. Don't expect sex. Want both? You pretty much have to promote what appeals to the opposite, then filter the results to find your match. It takes effort. This is classic marketing - if you can't get prospects through the door, they'll never know what you've got to offer. (Bait & switch is a negative version of this, where the advertised goods aren't delivered.) DC What a pain in the ass! I've decided that once I start dating, I will put myself on a reward system. Every time I have to do the marketing (game-playing) bullshit, I will reward myself for being a good girl by having a beer.  |
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Post by unmatched on May 15, 2016 20:04:58 GMT -5
What a pain in the ass! I've decided that once I start dating, I will put myself on a reward system. Every time I have to do the marketing (game-playing) bullshit, I will reward myself for being a good girl by having a beer. If you reward yourself too much, you might find your inbuilt vetting system gets compromised. You never know who might sneak through your interview process! |
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Post by Deleted on May 16, 2016 18:28:31 GMT -5
I am always amazed when I read or hear a woman say this. I think some fat, ugly old lesbian somewhere, who first concocted this fallacy, is having a good laugh at the columns of women who have bought into it. As a 67 yr. old male with a significant # of male friends, divorced and married, I have yet to hear one of them say he wants a woman half his age or even significantly younger. If this were even remotely true where is the anacedial evidence. There should be a fair # males walking down the street with a nice piece of arm candy at their side. Like me my divorced male friends who are on dating sites generally seek woman within a reasonably appropriate range to our own age. We're not looking for arm candy. What we are looking for is an intelligent woman that is caring, able to communicate, confident in herself, has a good sense of humor, shares a fair # of values with us, is still interested in intimacy, and is realistic in her expectations of what her expectations should be in a man and who doesn't have an inflated value of what she brings to the relationship. The "men don't want middle-aged women" generalization reminds me of another old saying: "there are no frigid women, just men who are poor lovers". Did you mean to quote me or want me t comment? |
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Post by greeneyedlady72 on May 16, 2016 22:53:19 GMT -5
Oh wow... That is exactly what's on my mind! You are so spot on! The one thing I am finding to be true is the vast majority of them are always on the lookout for something better to come along, and that they will let you fill in the gaps until the next best thing comes along. What I have encountered are men who want a hookup-wham,bam, thank you ma'am; a handout (online scam artists-I just tell them I'm too broke); or they're married. So no, there is no endless line of men if you're an average looking woman over 40. Most men my age want from 20-35 year old women. Regardless of whether they have a shot or not and regardless of whether or not these ladies have their act together. It's like watching a dog chase a car that they know they're never gonna catch.
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Post by unmatched on May 16, 2016 23:06:31 GMT -5
So it seems to me that all the women here are thinking that men are only interested in a quick shag or in finding somebody under 35. And strangely all the men seem to be thinking that women are only interested in toy boys. Clearly they can't both be right! So does that mean:
1. Everybody is desperate to recover their lost youth and perverted by porn and advertising and wants to have sex with people half their own age? (possible but unlikely)
2. Everybody has deeply twisted views of the opposite sex and what they really want? (possible and more likely)
3. By the time you are over 40 and single, a large proportion of the dating pool is there because they are emotionally incompetent fuckups who couldn't hold down a relationship. Therefore you have to kiss three times as many frogs as you did when you were 25 to find somebody half decent. (also possible and I would think quite likely)
Any other ideas?
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Post by itsjustus on May 17, 2016 1:31:33 GMT -5
Yes, I have another idea. I think we should hold that convention we've been talking about in other threads, and study this idea that women have that men my age only want young women, and all of us men here saying no, we want mature women their age. I propose we break into study groups, let's say two per group, one man, one woman each, who will retire to an available hotel room at this convention and "debate" these two concepts, closely, for however long "it" takes. They can then come back to the group and pick another debate partner, if they're able, to continue the discussion in the sanctity of a debate room. This continues, for days if necessary, until either a consensus is reached, or we all decide, what the hell, let's just pair up and snuggle until we can debate some more.
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