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Post by DryCreek on Jan 18, 2018 21:42:29 GMT -5
greatcoastal, applying common sense here and not legal sense (which are often wildly different), it seems to me that your wife should be accountable to you for all funds that were in joint accounts and moved in violation of court order. I'm sure your lawyer isn't a slouch and will argue relevant points around this, but I'd be sadly disappointed in the system if it tolerated her giving the finger to the court order and let her get away with that. It's not like it's unknown how much was transferred. Incidentally, I've seen cases in the past where it came to light later that not all assets had been declared in the divorce and the judge awarded 100% of those assets to the other spouse as penalty. So, the game's not over after that gavel falls.
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Post by h on Jan 19, 2018 9:06:02 GMT -5
A friend I know got divorced. She is legitimately disabled and can't work. Alimony and child support were settled. After the fact, it came to light that her husband had lied about his income from another state. Judge had a shit fit and threw the book at him.
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Post by greatcoastal on Jan 19, 2018 11:45:42 GMT -5
I've been given a good 150 questions to start rehearsing my answers to in order to be prepared for my trial. They're fairly simple, then some go into great depth, like listing all the activities for 6 kids over 19 yrs!! Much of it involves my full participation in raising our six kids and how my days where spent. All so the judge can see that I was not a lazy slouch, while my W. claims she "worked her tail off".
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Post by greatcoastal on Jan 24, 2018 11:54:15 GMT -5
The way my STBX and I communicate has been different lately.
Her ignoring, rejecting, dismissing communication regarding getting our children the proper health care is all done on line now.
You just don't "decide" that our son is going to see a different kind of doctor for his annual physical and give me one days notice. No name, no appointment, nothing.
The same for our daughter and her need for physical therapy appointments . My W. is holding out on signing papers concerning the cost of her treatment.
So every email gets sent to my attorney as well. So what she was used to getting away with, is now going to be held against her.
I also address her with a business only approach. Just the facts, and insist on my rights. How different things are with the attorney reading everything, and knowing we will speak in front of a judge in a few more days.
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Post by greatcoastal on Jan 25, 2018 14:04:15 GMT -5
Now that my STBX and I "communicate" only by emails it shines a spotlight on a very difficult problem I have. I will NEVER be able to instantly respond to her gas lighting and DARVO techniques. They flow like wine from her mind, with out the least change in her emotions. (hence the manipulative controller)
Me I get emotional, and have to deal with my ADD. My mind wonders, my thoughts get stuck, the words are never "right there". It's always a " I should have said this, I could have said more of that, why did I say nothing, wait a minute, that's not what we where talking about?"
However,( I have learned a lot about wording things by having placed almost 4000 posts on here), I am much better off taking an hour or two, reading her email several times, and then leaving out emotions, and prioritizing what needs to be said.
Knowing my emails go to my attorney I list dates, times, amounts,and the results from her controlling behavior and actions.
If anything, it's a bright spot for how things will go in the future. it helps to "level the playing field."
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Post by baza on Jan 25, 2018 17:54:17 GMT -5
I see you are up to almost 4,000 posts Brother greatcoastal . Brother wewbwb is clubhouse leader on 5,840. You are a clear 2nd on 3,998. Sister eternaloptimism with 3,090 in 3rd spot. Then there's 7 others all on 2,000 plus. A rough outsider to shoot up the rankings would be surfergirl if she maintains her present pace. She's on 129 and only joined 14 days ago. That's an average of nearly 10 a day, and potentially a total of 3,650 by this time next year, and 7,300 by January 2020. |
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Post by surfergirl on Jan 25, 2018 18:07:40 GMT -5
You can give me a shout out baza when I stop whining and start contributing something useful and appropriate (though, the naked picture should count for something). Until then, consider me an outlier. |
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Post by northstarmom on Jan 25, 2018 22:29:19 GMT -5
“You can give me a shout out baza when I stop whining and start contributing something useful and appropriate”
You are putting yourself down again.
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Post by wewbwb on Jan 25, 2018 22:38:18 GMT -5
I see you are up to almost 4,000 posts Brother greatcoastal . Brother wewbwb is clubhouse leader on 5,840. You are a clear 2nd on 3,998. Sister eternaloptimism with 3,090 in 3rd spot. Then there's 7 others all on 2,000 plus. A rough outsider to shoot up the rankings would be surfergirl if she maintains her present pace. She's on 129 and only joined 14 days ago. That's an average of nearly 10 a day, and potentially a total of 3,650 by this time next year, and 7,300 by January 2020. I have no life. |
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Post by csl on Jan 26, 2018 15:20:25 GMT -5
Guess I'm a mere piker, coming in with only 503 in 18 months.
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Post by h on Jan 26, 2018 15:25:23 GMT -5
I'm here more often than I should be.
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Post by greatcoastal on Jan 26, 2018 16:11:09 GMT -5
I'm here more often than I should be. Same here! I am expecting a big turn around in my schedule by the beginning of next season. Finalizing the divorce, school, career, full time work, buying a house, moving, home restoration, etc.... That will drastically change my time schedule. I am also looking forward to my posts being more focused on my positives, and some negatives-that I can still find JOY in- as I slowly restore myself. I also want to change my Charlie Brown avatar to a personal pic. Here's to new beginnings, risk, and adventure! |
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Post by greatcoastal on Jan 26, 2018 19:55:33 GMT -5
Guess I'm a mere piker, coming in with only 503 in 18 months. Keep em' coming! |
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Post by DryCreek on Jan 26, 2018 20:47:36 GMT -5
I'm here more often than I should be. I with ya. I don't consider my count to be a badge of honor; more, a sign that I'm spending too much time here that could be more productive launching a business or something. Though I have resolved to stop grousing about my situation so much, and mostly lean on it just to add relevance when helping others. You can tell, right? Right? |
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Post by shamwow on Jan 31, 2018 7:54:37 GMT -5
I'm here more often than I should be. Same here! I am expecting a big turn around in my schedule by the beginning of next season. Finalizing the divorce, school, career, full time work, buying a house, moving, home restoration, etc.... That will drastically change my time schedule. I am also looking forward to my posts being more focused on my positives, and some negatives-that I can still find JOY in- as I slowly restore myself. I also want to change my Charlie Brown avatar to a personal pic. Here's to new beginnings, risk, and adventure! I for one can say the fact my posts (primarily in my t-minus thread) have become far more hopeful than fearful or angry. It is one of the best parts about posting on this forum. I can SEE things get better. I suspect it will be the same for you, GC. Expect it to take time, though. I'm. 6 months out from a final decree, and I still let the hamster wheel spin pretty fast in my head from time to time. Have you thought of what positive things you want to DO when you're out? Things that involve just you since that is the only thing you can control. Having positive things to fill in some of the void you'll have when the kids are with their mom is really important for your recovery and general happiness. Plan for that recovery and happiness now and the odds are better it will turn out that way. |
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