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Post by greatcoastal on Nov 8, 2017 11:38:45 GMT -5
my W. has now hired her 4th attorney. -that's right....4TH ATTORNEY!- the two attorneys are getting somewhere now that the court date is coming. The temporary relief hearing along with contempt of court, is scheduled for Dec 12 th. With the threat of my W getting heald in contempt of court, and liable for all the bills she refused to pay, she is now going to start paying them.
The 3 vehicles of our 7 that where cancelled on the insurance will be paid, the tags will be issued again, the home insurance that she puts in a separate account but I paid for with the rental deposit money will get reimbursed, the bills for the children's health care she will start paying, the dog groomer,etc...
All these things that I have had to tell the teens "go ask your mother to pay for it" where taken from any control I had. You would think she would have been over joyed to have control. Nope, not enough. Just me getting an extra $500 a month from the rental property was- in her mind- plenty for me to spend on the family. Totally by-passing any rental house expenses that come up, and there have been plenty.
I've been asked to email my W's new attorney "a list of expenses" how much I need from month to month. Now it's wanted to be settled out of court. Now my W. is no longer able to put her hands in any more of the rental income, while continuing to receive her 6 figure income, along with her fathers income, and rental money from the teens.
I will remind this new attorney of my W grabbing over 60% of the rental money for no reasons and moving it during the divorce.
Digging through and finding all these record and transactions take time. I look at it as preparation for more accountant work in the future.
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Post by greatcoastal on Dec 20, 2017 21:50:22 GMT -5
The 12th came and went. The attorneys decided to 'save me money" by not going to trial. So I remain with no temp. relief.
The contempt of court and Freud charges will all be settled during the entire divorce case. My attorney did say " I want that hanging over her head during the divorce case". I have to trust my attorneys judgement.
One aspect of all this, that I am growing weary of, is the number of violations to standing court orders! There's been so many, it's time consuming, and costly to keep track, document, and bring it all up during the trial! So many of these expenses that my attorney and I where told "would be paid" are not happening. Calling my attorney , reminding her costs me money, it becomes a loosing game.
1) I've met with my attorney the other day and was given a ton of homework. I've been given a proposal, I have to go through it reject most of it and counter propose. Once again it looks like the work of my W an her sister. Not something a knowledgible attorney would come up with. All I can do is hope that it's all more ammunition for my attorney. If these proposals ever get shown to the judge? I have no idea!
2) I'am answering 10 major lengthy questions on Factors court considers for Alimony, why each factor applies to me and why I need Alimony.
3) 3 different scenereos laying out my long term plans for me and the family. Listing all of my expenses and needs. Quote for housing rentals, house prices, insurance, utilities, taxes, moving expenses etc... I can't just go before a judge and say," I don't know what I need, or how much it will cost".
4) I was informed that my past year of unemployment won't look good. I'm afraid this 18 months of divorce has my attorney forgetting all the numerous delays that took place. How many times I wanted to start retraining but knew "the divorce is coming, selling the house,trial dates, buying a house,moving, etc... I'm going to do a bunch of digging and write out a time line.
It really throws me back a few steps when I see the experience needed for a minimum wage job. I've been told to apply anyways.
These tasks are not my specialties! These are some of the hardest things for me to word, and type up properly. I'm going to write it out in a jumbled mess and ASK OTHERS for help. I'm going to need it!
Fortunately I have Christmas to work on it, and a friend or two who will devote hours with me and help me.
My court date is Jan 8-12 / 20-25 ,2018. It will take 2 days.
I like how a friend of mine summarized it, "she wants you out of there with only your suitcase, and wants to keep every penny and see to it that you don't get a nickel!". "You need to counter-offer the same right back to her!"
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Post by bballgirl on Dec 21, 2017 5:46:45 GMT -5
You need to think about what you will need for you and the kids on a monthly basis. Don't think in terms of a whole year. Think of one month then multiply by 12. Also realize you are eligible for alimony for life, go for it! Also the amount you get for alimony is taxable and will reduce what you get for child support. I wish you good luck with this.
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Post by greatcoastal on Jan 1, 2018 11:05:39 GMT -5
I've hit a snag (a big one) in running my numbers.1) The cost of housing is on a huge increase in the past year here in Fl. Also insurance and taxes. I will easily come up about $200,000 short to buy the smallest of 3 bd. rm. homes in our school district. Just in the past year the prices have gone out of my range, to buy the smallest of house with half the money that is invested in our very large home, which my W want's to keep, and would be to expensive for me to keep. It may end up having to be sold. www.stateoffloridaliving.com/cost-living-florida/2) My W easily makes enough money, and we have plenty of assets in IRA and other investments. These are things a judge is going to have to decide, due to my W's stubbornness of keeping everything. 3) My last full time employment was 14 yrs ago. Due to my full time work of home-school, raising 6 kids, landlord and lawncare fro 6 to 10 houses. I can't get a loan from the bank without being employed steadily ,full time for at least 2 yrs. My W can get a loan instantly. I am right in the category of a stay at home mom, only I'm a dad who's been yearning to go back to work for years. The bias against men and the favor for women is VERY REAL in the court system. 4) I am quickly learning what it is like to go looking for employment. Being a white, male, middle class, mid 50's over and under qualified job applicant is turning out to be quiet a circus. I'm looking for entry level work again. I'm not sure how well I will do standing 8 to 10 hrs a day again, due to a 6 yr old nasty foot injury, but I'm going to try my best! I have to! My BIL has gone through the same thing He's 59. He spent 2 yrs. putting in over 2200 applications after receiving his 4 yr degree. He's applied everywhere, MacDonalds, Burger king, family Dollar, etc...Discovering how many places aren't hiring at all but are just running numbers for tax purposes, places that never call/contact you back. It's going to come down to who you know and getting lucky, being in the right place at the right time. Others tell me, "don't let that slow you down, that's to eliminate the 18 yr .old crowd who after a week won't show up, and doesn't have transportation. I am discovering that even the simplest of jobs, the ones that should say, will train, no experience necessary, are not stating that. Instead they want "experienced only", well I'm applying anyways. My BIL was telling me how someone said to him, " you haven't worked in 6 yrs. we can't hire you". Hello..... how is he ever going to get employed? I also find out how many positions want you to be available 24/7 so you can fill in, working a 12 hr shift at anytime. You might work one day a month you might work several days a week. it could be weeks, it could be years before you get a full time position. Who can afford that? Either way I am still pushing forward, setbacks will happen, slow and steady, the turtle wins the race. |
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Post by tamara68 on Jan 1, 2018 11:21:26 GMT -5
I've hit a snag (a big one) in running my numbers.1) The cost of housing is on a huge increase in the past year here in Fl. Also insurance and taxes. I will easily come up about $200,000 short to buy the smallest of 3 bd. rm. homes in our school district. Just in the past year the prices have gone out of my range, to buy the smallest of house with half the money that is invested in our very large home, which my W want's to keep, and would be to expensive for me to keep. It may end up having to be sold. 2) My W easily makes enough money, and we have plenty of assets in IRA and other investments. These are things a judge is going to have to decide, due to my W's stubbornness of keeping everything. 3) My last full time employment was 14 yrs ago. Due to my full time work of home-school, raising 6 kids, landlord and lawncare fro 6 to 10 houses. I can't get a loan from the bank without being employed steadily ,full time for at least 2 yrs. My W can get a loan instantly. I am right in the category of a stay at home mom, only I'm a dad who's been yearning to go back to work for years. The bias against men and the favor for women is VERY REAL in the court system. 4) I am quickly learning what it is like to go looking for employment. Being a white, male, middle class, mid 50's over and under qualified job applicant is turning out to be quiet a circus. I'm looking for entry level work again. I'm not sure how well I will do standing 8 to 10 hrs a day again, due to a 6 yr old nasty foot injury, but I'm going to try my best! I have to! My BIL has gone through the same thing He's 59. He spent 2 yrs. putting in over 2200 applications after receiving his 4 yr degree. He's applied everywhere, MacDonalds, Burger king, family Dollar, etc...Discovering how many places aren't hiring at all but are just running numbers for tax purposes, places that never call/contact you back. It's going to come down to who you know and getting lucky, being in the right place at the right time. Others tell me, "don't let that slow you down, that's to eliminate the 18 yr .old crowd who after a week won't show up, and doesn't have transportation. I am discovering that even the simplest of jobs, the ones that should say, will train, no experience necessary, are not stating that. Instead they want "experienced only", well I'm applying anyways. My BIL was telling me how someone said to him, " you haven't worked in 6 yrs. we can't hire you". Hello..... how is he ever going to get employed? I also find out how many positions want you to be available 24/7 so you can fill in, working a 12 hr shift at anytime. You might work one day a month you might work several days a week. it could be weeks, it could be years before you get a full time position. Who can afford that? Either way I am still pushing forward, setbacks will happen, slow and steady, the turtle wins the race. If someone says that you haven't worked in 6 years, don't agree with that statement. You have not done nothing, you just weren't paid for your work. |
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Post by hopingforachange on Jan 1, 2018 12:35:43 GMT -5
You've worked, if your rentals are under a business name, list yourself as property manager at it.
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Post by northstarmom on Jan 1, 2018 12:53:52 GMT -5
“. Being a white, male, middle class, mid 50's over and under qualified job applicant is turning out to be quiet a circus. “
I had a very tough time finding employment as a non white, over 50 woman with a earned doctorate and an honorary one and national awards. Unfortunately, it is extremely hard for people over 50 to get jobs in the US regardless of your credentials.
Whatever local agency is affiliated with Florida’s Office of Economic Opportunity can offer excellent free help. In my area, the agency is Career Source. Also tell everyone you know that you are looking. Most people get hired through personal contacts. A community theater contact whom I know as a great performer in flamboyant drag helped me get hired.
When I went for my second interview, I happened to mention acting is my avocation. When I mentioned the troupe, they asked me if I knew a man in it who happened to be highly placed at an organization they worked closely with. In real life he is a top administrator in an influential job. They actually called him (I did not ask them to) to find out if I’m a team player! His words about me helped seal the deal.
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Post by greatcoastal on Jan 1, 2018 13:44:24 GMT -5
You've worked, if your rentals are under a business name, list yourself as property manager at it. That's good! Actually they are under a business name. I'll do that. It's on my resume', however when filling in applications on line they want to know the name and date of your past employer,salary, advisers name, date of employment, reason for leaving, all that. It takes sitting down for an interview to get into all the details of how my time was used managing and repairing properties and running my kids all over the place for years with all their activities. |
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Post by hopingforachange on Jan 1, 2018 14:10:24 GMT -5
You've worked, if your rentals are under a business name, list yourself as property manager at it. That's good! Actually they are under a business name. I'll do that. It's on my resume', however when filling in applications on line they want to know the name and date of your past employer,salary, advisers name, date of employment, reason for leaving, all that. It takes sitting down for an interview to get into all the details of managing and repairing properties and running my kids all over the place for years with all their activities. Usually you can leave the salary blank and reason for leaving, pending legal issues. 😉 |
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Post by DryCreek on Jan 1, 2018 16:53:00 GMT -5
greatcoastal, "I've been running our property management business for the past X years, handling logistics, finance, projects, service, sales, legal, etc. We're restructuring things so that won't require my dedicated attention, and I'm looking to do something different." If they pry and you're inclined to answer, just say you're reducing the number of properties. The real estate market fluctuates - sometimes the strategy is to buy / hold / rent, and other times the smart move is to liquidate. "Salary? Well, it's a privately-held business, so quite a lot of cashflow, but those figures wouldn't be relevant to you. I don't draw a salary in the traditional sense. How much are you budgeting for this position?"
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Post by snowman12345 on Jan 1, 2018 17:31:06 GMT -5
You've worked, if your rentals are under a business name, list yourself as property manager at it. That's good! Actually they are under a business name. I'll do that. It's on my resume', however when filling in applications on line they want to know the name and date of your past employer,salary, advisers name, date of employment, reason for leaving, all that. It takes sitting down for an interview to get into all the details of how my time was used managing and repairing properties and running my kids all over the place for years with all their activities. Have you ever considered being a "Manny", or professional errand runner? I don't mean to belittle you at all - those are serious jobs out there that you would be qualified for. A busy two job couple with kids can use some professional help running their household. Just a thought. Good luck! |
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Post by DryCreek on Jan 2, 2018 0:34:25 GMT -5
greatcoastal, The post by snowman12345 reminded me that I overlooked the obvious suggestion in mine... property management companies need staff. You have direct local experience. They come in all flavors from residential to industrial to commercial - maybe an opportunity in the industrial space to bring in value from your trucking experience for warehouse properties, etc. I don't know where you are in FL compared to these guys, but they're based in Phoenix and going national. They have one office in Tampa. They're trying to position as a large matchmaker for small investors and tenants. renterswarehouse.comThere are also HOA management companies. I don't hold them in high regard for value vs. cost, but it's at least a related field to your direct experience.
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Post by greatcoastal on Jan 18, 2018 9:46:16 GMT -5
Well I am on the "docket" it may be another 2 more weeks. The 24th and 25 th are being pushed back due to another case taking longer. It won't surprise me if mine takes longer than 2 days.
I'm going to vent now. I don't think there's any advice that's needed.
I'm having to make hard, painful, life changing decisions. Sometimes all in a matter of minutes. I have to take full control....something I am not very used to doing. It's like covering your eyes holding your nose, signing on the dotted line and saying, "Lord be with me, have your way with me, and my family".
There are so many branches to the tree, it's hard to just get at the root of the problem. Too many houses, other families , accounts, investments, unknown amounts,etc....
IF, IF, I could only be extremely selfish and just say ...Sell all the real estate and give me half. But I can't. That affects too many other people. I can't be like that. I'll take a loss.
I'm feeling the depression and want it over with. I'll be okay.
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Post by DryCreek on Jan 18, 2018 11:05:51 GMT -5
There are so many branches to the tree, it's hard to just get at the root of the problem. Too many houses, other families , accounts, investments, unknown amounts,etc.... IF, IF, I could only be extremely selfish and just say ...Sell all the real estate and give me half. But I can't. That affects too many other people. I can't be like that. I'll take a loss. I know you're not looking for advice, but your frustration is full of signals that you're not going into this with good preparation and things are feeling overwhelming. I get that it's a grueling process and you want it to be over. But the decisions you make now will affect your quality of life in retirement, and the quality of life you can provide for your kids in the short term. Stick to your guns and don't let her wear you down. There is no reason you should be considering a loss, any more than she should. You assume that selling a rental means the occupants need to move. To the contrary, real estate investors are actively buying right now, and selling a property with a lease contract delivers them a turnkey property with immediate cashflow; as long as you have a competent lease contract they'd want to assume and the rents are not badly below market, you could well sell rental properties with no impact to the occupants, and potentially at a premium. Simply a financial transaction. If you haven't, please get advice from folks who are seasoned in buying and selling occupied rentals. You're potentially dealing with millions of dollars in assets here. Why does it sound like you haven't spent the money to have a proper investigation done? (You shouldn't feel so lost in the details if you had.) Sure, there may be a lot of branches and details, but a professional should be able to compile an accounting for you that captures all this with a clean summary. Even if such an investigation costs you $20K and a continuance, you're likely to lose far more than that by making poor assumptions and rushing to resolution. This is not the time to be pinching pennies. |
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Post by greatcoastal on Jan 18, 2018 20:24:53 GMT -5
There are so many branches to the tree, it's hard to just get at the root of the problem. Too many houses, other families , accounts, investments, unknown amounts,etc.... IF, IF, I could only be extremely selfish and just say ...Sell all the real estate and give me half. But I can't. That affects too many other people. I can't be like that. I'll take a loss. I know you're not looking for advice, but your frustration is full of signals that you're not going into this with good preparation and things are feeling overwhelming. You assume that selling a rental means the occupants need to move. To the contrary, real estate investors are actively buying right now, and selling a property with a lease contract delivers them a turnkey property with immediate cashflow; as long as you have a competent lease contract they'd want to assume and the rents are not badly below market, you could well sell rental properties with no impact to the occupants, and potentially at a premium. Simply a financial transaction. You're potentially dealing with millions of dollars in assets here. Why does it sound like you haven't spent the money to have a proper investigation done? (You shouldn't feel so lost in the details if you had.) Sure, there may be a lot of branches and details, but a professional should be able to compile an accounting for you that captures all this with a clean summary. Even if such an investigation costs you $20K and a continuance, you're likely to lose far more than that by making poor assumptions and rushing to resolution. This is not the time to be pinching pennies. I greatly appreciate your response. What I discovered was ,not what most of us would think, in a common sense way. Tens to hundreds of Thousands of dollars removed, without consent and knowledge of both parties, then moved to private accounts. All that can occur legally. If that money still exists it is a 50/50 split. Not returning all of it ,because one party had no right to be spending/moving huge amounts ,unknown to the other party. Nope. It's all fine and legal. Don't forget relatives in other counties who would be more than happy to store cash. Just because it was moved without my knowledge or consent there is no accountability for it's use or where abouts. Only if the account had been in my name only. That was never the case. Joint accounts, and a lot of her personal accounts. -Many that I never knew existed. (some states would be more in my favor. Fl. not so much) It's food for thought for the future, stuffing cash in a mattress, un -accounted for, and untraceable. 500 here, 500 there per month, it all adds up. Things an investigator can't change. As far as selling the rentals to an investor? Yes it's possible. However, prices are right near the peak of the last housing bubble burst, and investors seem to be holding off. I wish I was not a buyer right now. However it's a great time to sell. Luckily I purchased at the bottom of the market, giving me a nice ROI. (without charging my tennants the max. A win, win) I'd like to continue that for another decade or two. (that also does not disturb my tenants lives) I've reached a point where everything and anything that could be supeoned has been. Here is one of my options. I keep the rental properties. My STBX pays off the debt. (or I continue the debt and receive a larger alimony) The now larger rental income is deducted from the alimony. She keeps the big house. I receive half of the value minus the amount owed. I still come up short to buy a small 3/2 in our more expensive school district. However I have enough in my IRA, and (possibly will have just eneogh once half of all the accounts are divided.. I am going to make it. Here is some HOPE for me. I can purchase a forecloser, with cash. That can easily save me $100,000. In one year my children change schools. This means I can move over to the main land. In a year if the property holds it value I recover the $100,000. The same house on the main land sells for $100,000 less. I am now $200,000 ahead in two to 3 years. (not bad!) It may be doable. |
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