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Post by WindSister on Jun 27, 2017 13:37:35 GMT -5
Just as a sidebar observation. There seems to be a common lament that post marriage, and being older and single, it is pretty hard to get a root, and even harder to find a decent potential partner. (I don't necessarily disagree with this lament either) Now perhaps this is just me, but back when I was single and young, I didn't find it real easy to get a root or find a decent potential partner then either. Is my experience unique ? I'm far from convinced that the "ease" or "difficulty" in getting a root or sourcing a half decent partner is an age issue. I think it's a geographical issue. But, more than that, I think it's a mindset. I say that because I firmly believe I could find an interested man even in my small town of only 400-some people if something happened to my husband or our relationship. I am NOT arrogant, either, but I just have a deep knowing, understanding, that I am worthy of love/affection and would catch the eye of another man, allow it to happen, at any age. I really do. It's my mindset, my attitude, I guess. I don't see it as impossible, I see it as very possible. I don't see it as an impossible, daunting task. Others may argue that's too ethereal, spiritual, hocus-pocus, or whatever, but I see something to it. Attitude/mind-set, the very stories we tell ourselves about ourselves, others, and life have a lot to do with our reality. |
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Post by Caris on Jun 27, 2017 18:55:01 GMT -5
Just as a sidebar observation. There seems to be a common lament that post marriage, and being older and single, it is pretty hard to get a root, and even harder to find a decent potential partner. (I don't necessarily disagree with this lament either) Now perhaps this is just me, but back when I was single and young, I didn't find it real easy to get a root or find a decent potential partner then either. Is my experience unique ? I'm far from convinced that the "ease" or "difficulty" in getting a root or sourcing a half decent partner is an age issue. I think it's a geographical issue. But, more than that, I think it's a mindset. I say that because I firmly believe I could find an interested man even in my small town of only 400-some people if something happened to my husband or our relationship. I am NOT arrogant, either, but I just have a deep knowing, understanding, that I am worthy of love/affection and would catch the eye of another man, allow it to happen, at any age. I really do. It's my mindset, my attitude, I guess. I don't see it as impossible, I see it as very possible. I don't see it as an impossible, daunting task. Others may argue that's too ethereal, spiritual, hocus-pocus, or whatever, but I see something to it. Attitude/mind-set, the very stories we tell ourselves about ourselves, others, and life have a lot to do with our reality. I do agree with you about mindset. It does have some bearing, although the other part of the equation is could you find a man out of a population of 400 that was not only available but attractive and compatible with you? I'm assuming some of those 400 are women and children, so you have 100 something men. Some will be married. Some gay. Some courting. Some too old or too young. Does not leave much, but hey if you are certain you can find one that would be right for you, more power to you. |
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Post by WindSister on Jun 27, 2017 19:13:38 GMT -5
I think it's a geographical issue. But, more than that, I think it's a mindset. I say that because I firmly believe I could find an interested man even in my small town of only 400-some people if something happened to my husband or our relationship. I am NOT arrogant, either, but I just have a deep knowing, understanding, that I am worthy of love/affection and would catch the eye of another man, allow it to happen, at any age. I really do. It's my mindset, my attitude, I guess. I don't see it as impossible, I see it as very possible. I don't see it as an impossible, daunting task. Others may argue that's too ethereal, spiritual, hocus-pocus, or whatever, but I see something to it. Attitude/mind-set, the very stories we tell ourselves about ourselves, others, and life have a lot to do with our reality. I do agree with you about mindset. It does have some bearing, although the other part of the equation is could you find a man out of a population of 400 that was not only available but attractive and compatible with you? I'm assuming some of those 400 are women and children, so you have 100 something men. Some will be married. Some gay. Some courting. Some too old or too young. Does not leave much, but hey if you are certain you can find one that would be right for you, more power to you. I knew that would be taken as arrogant but it's really not like that. I just don't think it's so daunting or hard because I don't think there is only one. I really feel this town is where I'll die, happily. But if I'm wrong, if I were left here lonely and didn't find a companion, I see myself moving. I'm adaptable so that does open up options for me. No, I'm not settling. There's a difference. I don't know. This isn't coming out correct so I'll just mosey on. I just know if we think something is impossible, then it is. |
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Post by Caris on Jun 27, 2017 21:21:20 GMT -5
I do agree with you about mindset. It does have some bearing, although the other part of the equation is could you find a man out of a population of 400 that was not only available but attractive and compatible with you? I'm assuming some of those 400 are women and children, so you have 100 something men. Some will be married. Some gay. Some courting. Some too old or too young. Does not leave much, but hey if you are certain you can find one that would be right for you, more power to you. I knew that would be taken as arrogant but it's really not like that. I just don't think it's so daunting or hard because I don't think there is only one. I really feel this town is where I'll die, happily. But if I'm wrong, if I were left here lonely and didn't find a companion, I see myself moving. I'm adaptable so that does open up options for me. No, I'm not settling. There's a difference. I don't know. This isn't coming out correct so I'll just mosey on. I just know if we think something is impossible, then it is. I never thought you were arrogant, just very confident. What I was doing was looking at the numbers and the odds. That's it. If you believe in something so strongly, then again, more power to you. In case you misunderstand, I'm actually wishing you well. |
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Post by WindSister on Jun 28, 2017 8:36:27 GMT -5
I knew that would be taken as arrogant but it's really not like that. I just don't think it's so daunting or hard because I don't think there is only one. I really feel this town is where I'll die, happily. But if I'm wrong, if I were left here lonely and didn't find a companion, I see myself moving. I'm adaptable so that does open up options for me. No, I'm not settling. There's a difference. I don't know. This isn't coming out correct so I'll just mosey on. I just know if we think something is impossible, then it is. I never thought you were arrogant, just very confident. What I was doing was looking at the numbers and the odds. That's it. If you believe in something so strongly, then again, more power to you. In case you misunderstand, I'm actually wishing you well. I am wishing you well, too -- I can't say it's even a confidence, though, just a belief. They say our beliefs make up our reality and I guess that's what I am kinda seeing when I look around. I am sorry you are experiencing loneliness and longing for human touch but unable to find it at the moment. Sometimes things are darkest right before the dawn, too (not to keep throwing out cliche quotes, can't help myself) -- maybe something is right around the corner. Hang in there. |
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Post by Caris on Jun 28, 2017 10:30:21 GMT -5
I never thought you were arrogant, just very confident. What I was doing was looking at the numbers and the odds. That's it. If you believe in something so strongly, then again, more power to you. In case you misunderstand, I'm actually wishing you well. I am wishing you well, too -- I can't say it's even a confidence, though, just a belief. They say our beliefs make up our reality and I guess that's what I am kinda seeing when I look around. I am sorry you are experiencing loneliness and longing for human touch but unable to find it at the moment. Sometimes things are darkest right before the dawn, too (not to keep throwing out cliche quotes, can't help myself) -- maybe something is right around the corner. Hang in there. Thank you. My longing for human touch has a 27-year history. Not having my basic human needs met for almost three decades, well I can tell you that I've been "hanging in there" for a very long time. I'm probably more like the dog who has been so beaten down by neglect and cruelty that I'm not sure I can even respond to physical touch anymore. Maybe I'll recoil like the dog, but still miss it at the same time. This is my life. It is what it is, and I'm responsible for it. I'm the one that stayed living in false hope. That's on me. Be well. |
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