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Post by tiffanyc on Jun 15, 2017 13:30:54 GMT -5
So, follow up his peach (I have no idea what he meant by it) by sending the kind of note I suggested. Be clear. He really may have thought you were making fun of him. one can't hear tone in a text or emoji.and if you promise sex, do what you promised. Don't use something like the girls' behavior as an excuse to avoid sex. You have the ability to set boundaries today just as you could have on your anniversary when you chose to host a sleepover. Already replied. Plus sent him a scene from my book hoping it will add to getting him in the mood |
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Post by northstarmom on Jun 15, 2017 13:34:35 GMT -5
Make sure he understands that your book is about your fantasies based on him. Otherwise, he could view your book as indicating you are fantasizing about different men, not him. Explicitly tell him he turns you on.
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Post by tiffanyc on Jun 15, 2017 13:35:53 GMT -5
Make sure he understands that your book is about your fantasies based on him. Otherwise, he could view your book as indicating you are fantasizing about different men, not him. Explicitly tell him he turns you on. Will do |
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Post by shamwow on Jun 15, 2017 13:39:59 GMT -5
Make sure he understands that your book is about your fantasies based on him. Otherwise, he could view your book as indicating you are fantasizing about different men, not him. Explicitly tell him he turns you on. Will do Still going with what bballgirl suggested...slightly revealing pic of you. I hate to break it to you, and it may come as a shock, but guys are generally not turned on by romance novels (erotica). We are visual animals. If you want to catch a fly, use honey. |
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Post by tiffanyc on Jun 15, 2017 13:42:54 GMT -5
Still going with what bballgirl suggested...slightly revealing pic of you. I hate to break it to you, and it may come as a shock, but guys are generally not turned on by romance novels (erotica). We are visual animals. If you want to catch a fly, use honey. Lol may try that too |
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Post by bballgirl on Jun 15, 2017 13:44:48 GMT -5
Make sure he understands that your book is about your fantasies based on him. Otherwise, he could view your book as indicating you are fantasizing about different men, not him. Explicitly tell him he turns you on. Yes! ^^^^^ This! Everyone wants to know that they are wanted and desired! That's what turns us on! |
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Post by greatcoastal on Jun 15, 2017 13:57:58 GMT -5
Tiffany? I brought up the part about children taking 1st place in the family, and marriage getting shoved away, including your husband. You gave it a DARVO answer full of victim answers about your soldier H being gone during child birth. You knew that when you married him. You had /have other woman around you who have experienced the same things.
Easy for me to see that. After I had time to read it, more than once, and give it plenty of thought from 1000 miles away. Not the same story for your husband, or your teen daughters who deal with such responses. The same thing goes on at our house. My teens are seeing through it, they don't like it, they question it, stand up to it, and run from it. All equaling a disaster of a relationship. Please try to make yourself aware of such answers, and feel welcome to give it more thought and try again.
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Post by tiffanyc on Jun 15, 2017 14:10:49 GMT -5
Tiffany? I brought up the part about children taking 1st place in the family, and marriage getting shoved away, including your husband. You gave it a DARVO answer full of victim answers about your soldier H being gone during child birth. You knew that when you married him. You had /have other woman around you who have experienced the same things. Easy for me to see that. After I had time to read it, more than once, and give it plenty of thought from 1000 miles away. Not the same story for your husband, or your teen daughters who deal with such responses. The same thing goes on at our house. My teens are seeing through it, they don't like it, they question it, stand up to it, and run from it. All equaling a disaster of a relationship. Please try to make yourself aware of such answers, and feel welcome to give it more thought and try again. Okay, yes I knew he was a soldier when I married him. I wasn't using his deployments as an excuse. I mentioned them because that's a point of reference for his change regarding sex. Maybe I'm the only one who saw that. As for other women around...um nope. Sorry wrong. We didn't live on base and I had no desire to mingle with my fellow Marine wives when I saw first hand how backstabbing they could be. (I do mean first hand.) And what do you mean my daughters? They were nearly 5 and 3 when he got out and don't remember him being in. If you mean in regards to the sex, that is between me and my H and we do our best to keep the lack of to ourselves. |
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Post by northstarmom on Jun 15, 2017 14:17:54 GMT -5
I agree with shamwell about the picture of you.  and follow through with sex tonight. There are many refused here who posted about their refuser making a sex promise and then being too sleepy, headachy or using the kids as an excuse to not put out. |
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Post by tiffanyc on Jun 15, 2017 14:24:57 GMT -5
I agree with shamwell about the picture of you. and follow through with sex tonight. There are many refused here who posted about their refuser making a sex promise and then being too sleepy, headachy or using the kids as an excuse to not put out. I plan on following through. |
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Post by greatcoastal on Jun 15, 2017 14:37:29 GMT -5
Tiffany? I brought up the part about children taking 1st place in the family, and marriage getting shoved away, including your husband. You gave it a DARVO answer full of victim answers about your soldier H being gone during child birth. You knew that when you married him. You had /have other woman around you who have experienced the same things. Easy for me to see that. After I had time to read it, more than once, and give it plenty of thought from 1000 miles away. Not the same story for your husband, or your teen daughters who deal with such responses. The same thing goes on at our house. My teens are seeing through it, they don't like it, they question it, stand up to it, and run from it. All equaling a disaster of a relationship. Please try to make yourself aware of such answers, and feel welcome to give it more thought and try again. Okay, yes I knew he was a soldier when I married him. I wasn't using his deployments as an excuse. I mentioned them because that's a point of reference for his change regarding sex. Maybe I'm the only one who saw that. As for other women around...um nope. Sorry wrong. We didn't live on base and I had no desire to mingle with my fellow Marine wives when I saw first hand how backstabbing they could be. (I do mean first hand.) And what do you mean my daughters? They were nearly 5 and 3 when he got out and don't remember him being in. If you mean in regards to the sex, that is between me and my H and we do our best to keep the lack of to ourselves. Friend, I mean now, for your daughters, and how you answer questions. This is how my Wife answers questions. shrink4men.com/2011/01/19/presto-change-o-darvo-deny-attack-and-reverse-victim-and-offender/When you read about it, you will read that we all do it to some degree, mostly, and only when having to defend ourselves when falsely accused. It's a very strong manipulation tactic. Your husband might use it on you. You may know family or friends who use it. You may have learned to use it yourself without realizing it. I can not, and will not judge that. Back to the original question. How much of your lives revolves around the children? How much of your conversations are about the children? Your activities? Your finances? The food you eat? The house you live in? The job you have, or don't have? Seeing family, or not seeing family? Going to church, or not going to church? The mini van you drive verses his pick up truck? The vacations you go on? The shows you watch together? How much you keep your intimacy to yourselves? to the point that it ceases to exist? All in the name of " For the good of the family?" A little of my story. I think this needs repeating. Our therapist asked my wife and I to write down our top 5 most important things in our lives, and put them in order of importance.I found my wife"s list. It had 4 things on it. 1) God 2) Family 3) work 4) church. I told her " That's a very good list". I then asked her, "where's marriage on here?" That got her. But only for a while. She replied.... " oh..that's part of family". I informed her, "No it isn't. Every thing I have read, or heard, says 1) God 2) marriage 3) family. I then quoted some sources. She clammed up. I also received much backing by our therapist, she didn't like that! |
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Post by tiffanyc on Jun 15, 2017 14:48:05 GMT -5
Okay, yes I knew he was a soldier when I married him. I wasn't using his deployments as an excuse. I mentioned them because that's a point of reference for his change regarding sex. Maybe I'm the only one who saw that. As for other women around...um nope. Sorry wrong. We didn't live on base and I had no desire to mingle with my fellow Marine wives when I saw first hand how backstabbing they could be. (I do mean first hand.) And what do you mean my daughters? They were nearly 5 and 3 when he got out and don't remember him being in. If you mean in regards to the sex, that is between me and my H and we do our best to keep the lack of to ourselves. Friend, I mean now, for your daughters, and how you answer questions. This is how my Wife answers questions. shrink4men.com/2011/01/19/presto-change-o-darvo-deny-attack-and-reverse-victim-and-offender/When you read about it, you will read that we all do it to some degree, mostly, and only when having to defend ourselves when falsely accused. It's a very strong manipulation tactic. Your husband might use it on you. You may know family or friends who use it. You may have learned to use it yourself without realizing it. I can not, and will not judge that. Back to the original question. How much of your lives revolves around the children? How much of your conversations are about the children? Your activities? Your finances? The food you eat? The house you live in? The job you have, or don't have? Seeing family, or not seeing family? Going to church, or not going to church? The mini van you drive verses his pick up truck? The vacations you go on? The shows you watch together? How much you keep your intimacy to yourselves? to the point that it ceases to exist? All in the name of " For the good of the family?" A little of my story. I think this needs repeating. Our therapist asked my wife and I to write down our top 5 most important things in our lives, and put them in order of importance.I found my wife"s list. It had 4 things on it. 1) God 2) Family 3) work 4) church. I told her " That's a very good list". I then asked her, "where's marriage on here?" That got her. But only for a while. She replied.... " oh..that's part of family". I informed her, "No it isn't. Every thing I have read, or heard, says 1) God 2) marriage 3) family. I then quoted some sources. She clammed up. I also received much backing by our therapist, she didn't like that! I get what you're saying now. However, what's going on with me and H is OUR issues. We do our best to keep the bedroom issues away from them as they don't need to know. Our kids come first. End of story. Even I believe there are issues between parents kids don't need to see or know about. |
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Post by greatcoastal on Jun 15, 2017 15:20:57 GMT -5
Friend, I mean now, for your daughters, and how you answer questions. This is how my Wife answers questions. shrink4men.com/2011/01/19/presto-change-o-darvo-deny-attack-and-reverse-victim-and-offender/When you read about it, you will read that we all do it to some degree, mostly, and only when having to defend ourselves when falsely accused. It's a very strong manipulation tactic. Your husband might use it on you. You may know family or friends who use it. You may have learned to use it yourself without realizing it. I can not, and will not judge that. Back to the original question. How much of your lives revolves around the children? How much of your conversations are about the children? Your activities? Your finances? The food you eat? The house you live in? The job you have, or don't have? Seeing family, or not seeing family? Going to church, or not going to church? The mini van you drive verses his pick up truck? The vacations you go on? The shows you watch together? How much you keep your intimacy to yourselves? to the point that it ceases to exist? All in the name of " For the good of the family?" A little of my story. I think this needs repeating. Our therapist asked my wife and I to write down our top 5 most important things in our lives, and put them in order of importance.I found my wife"s list. It had 4 things on it. 1) God 2) Family 3) work 4) church. I told her " That's a very good list". I then asked her, "where's marriage on here?" That got her. But only for a while. She replied.... " oh..that's part of family". I informed her, "No it isn't. Every thing I have read, or heard, says 1) God 2) marriage 3) family. I then quoted some sources. She clammed up. I also received much backing by our therapist, she didn't like that! I get what you're saying now. However, what's going on with me and H is OUR issues. We do our best to keep the bedroom issues away from them as they don't need to know. Our kids come first. End of story. Even I believe there are issues between parents kids don't need to see or know about. Here's my knee jerk reaction. Anyone else feel free to correct or add in. You didn't answer the question. "our kids come first. End of story" That's very telling. Like many, once the youngest is out of H.S. the marriage will be over for both of you. As our therapist stated " The two of you are setting a horrible example of what a loving, giving, intimate, relationship should be". |
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Post by tiffanyc on Jun 15, 2017 15:24:36 GMT -5
I get what you're saying now. However, what's going on with me and H is OUR issues. We do our best to keep the bedroom issues away from them as they don't need to know. Our kids come first. End of story. Even I believe there are issues between parents kids don't need to see or know about. Here's my knee jerk reaction. Anyone else feel free to correct or add in. You didn't answer the question. "our kids come first. End of story" That's very telling. Like many, once the youngest is out of H.S. the marriage will be over for both of you. As our therapist stated " The two of you are setting a horrible example of what a loving, giving, intimate, relationship should be". Look, I get that you're going through a really crappy time right now with your W or whatever, but I don't appreciate you tossing in things that YOUR THERAPIST has told YOU about YOU AND YOUR W. And do NOT compare ME and MY situation with my H to YOU and YOURS. If I wanted a therapist again I'd look for one. |
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Post by greatcoastal on Jun 15, 2017 17:03:15 GMT -5
Here's my knee jerk reaction. Anyone else feel free to correct or add in. You didn't answer the question. "our kids come first. End of story" That's very telling. Like many, once the youngest is out of H.S. the marriage will be over for both of you. As our therapist stated " The two of you are setting a horrible example of what a loving, giving, intimate, relationship should be". Look, I get that you're going through a really crappy time right now with your W or whatever, but I don't appreciate you tossing in things that YOUR THERAPIST has told YOU about YOU AND YOUR W. And do NOT compare ME and MY situation with my H to YOU and YOURS. If I wanted a therapist again I'd look for one. Wishing you a wonderful, intimate evening with your H. tonight. May all your dreams come true. |
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and follow through with sex tonight. There are many refused here who posted about their refuser making a sex promise and then being too sleepy, headachy or using the kids as an excuse to not put out.
