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Post by baza on Apr 26, 2017 23:06:57 GMT -5
You arrive to take the dogs out.
"You are not getting the dogs until you scrub this stupid divorce talk" - she says.
It might be wise to formulate now, what you would do and say should the above *theoretical* statement arise.
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Post by lyn on Apr 27, 2017 0:38:10 GMT -5
Can you get legal visitation of the dogs? Maybe once a formal separation agreement is drafted you could include something.
Poor little fellas miss you Im sure-
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Post by cagedtiger on Apr 29, 2017 11:34:36 GMT -5
Random question: are divorce lawyers always hot? Asking for a friend.
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Post by hopingforachange on Apr 29, 2017 11:51:34 GMT -5
Random question: are divorce lawyers always hot? Asking for a friend. Nope, my brother's wasn't. The secretary was a couger though. We think my brother's ex was banging her lawyer so she wouldn't have to pay her bills. Does that count? |
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Post by greatcoastal on Apr 29, 2017 11:55:32 GMT -5
Random question: are divorce lawyers always hot? Asking for a friend. Mine is! So is her mother, (the secretary). |
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Post by GeekGoddess on Apr 29, 2017 17:57:33 GMT -5
My lawyer was decidedly NOT hot. But he was effective, quick, & gave me a refund. I was very happy with the results, so it didn't matter what he looked like.
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Post by snowman12345 on Apr 29, 2017 20:56:12 GMT -5
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Post by orangepeel on Apr 30, 2017 2:06:39 GMT -5
Can I ask whether, when you broke the news, she at any point acknowledged that SM had anything to do with your decision and that she had anything to do with SM? It just strikes me from your initial post that all she came up with were generic platitudes. You just can't have a discussion with a spouter of cliches.
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Post by cagedtiger on Apr 30, 2017 9:08:44 GMT -5
Can I ask whether, when you broke the news, she at any point acknowledged that SM had anything to do with your decision and that she had anything to do with SM? It just strikes me from your initial post that all she came up with were generic platitudes. You just can't have a discussion with a spouter of cliches. Nope. She's always been hesitant to talk about that part of our relationship in anything other than very broad and general terms and oblique references. She repeatedly has said things about knowing she took me and all I had to offer for granted, but that's really about it. Unless you want to count her fairly recent admissions that she really, really wants children. Frankly, I just think it's out of her realm of either comprehension, or comfort zone. |
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Post by GeekGoddess on Apr 30, 2017 9:21:04 GMT -5
She should not be responsible for shaping & raising a human. She needs to grow up before that happens.
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Post by novembercomingfire on Apr 30, 2017 9:30:35 GMT -5
Do not underestimate the dangers of immature narcissistic adult children having children of their own. As one who is living this, by no means have children with such persons.
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Post by cagedtiger on Apr 30, 2017 9:37:12 GMT -5
Do not underestimate the dangers of immature narcissistic adult children having children of their own. As one who is living this, by no means have children with such persons. The way she treats the dogs was more then enough evidence for me to make that decision a long time ago. |
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Post by cagedtiger on Apr 30, 2017 9:53:37 GMT -5
Can you get legal visitation of the dogs? Maybe once a formal separation agreement is drafted you could include something. Poor little fellas miss you Im sure- She's actually been very good at making sure I have access to the dogs - she finally emailed late Wednesday about letting me take the dogs for the weekend while she was out of town, and I've been staying at the house with them this weekend. I definitely mentioned wanting to take my puppy when I spoke to my lawyer, and I think my wife knows that's coming. I'll just make sure to give her the day's notice she's asked for, I guess. |
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Post by orangepeel on Apr 30, 2017 13:48:22 GMT -5
Can I ask whether, when you broke the news, she at any point acknowledged that SM had anything to do with your decision and that she had anything to do with SM? It just strikes me from your initial post that all she came up with were generic platitudes. You just can't have a discussion with a spouter of cliches. Nope. She's always been hesitant to talk about that part of our relationship in anything other than very broad and general terms and oblique references. She repeatedly has said things about knowing she took me and all I had to offer for granted, but that's really about it. Unless you want to count her fairly recent admissions that she really, really wants children. Frankly, I just think it's out of her realm of either comprehension, or comfort zone. Then she is actively (if possibly unwittingly) deluding herself and seeking to delude you, making it all the more imperative that you stick to your guns. I often think refusers (and I'm talking generally here, rather than referring directly to your wife) are like abusers in that they create an abnormality field to which their victims become accustomed, making what's weird 'normal'. So your clearheadedness is morally brave. |
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Post by lyn on Apr 30, 2017 20:11:25 GMT -5
Can you get legal visitation of the dogs? Maybe once a formal separation agreement is drafted you could include something. Poor little fellas miss you Im sure- She's actually been very good at making sure I have access to the dogs - she finally emailed late Wednesday about letting me take the dogs for the weekend while she was out of town, and I've been staying at the house with them this weekend. I definitely mentioned wanting to take my puppy when I spoke to my lawyer, and I think my wife knows that's coming. I'll just make sure to give her the day's notice she's asked for, I guess. Just "play along" CT. Before you know it, you and your puppy will be playing fetch in your NEW backyard (or the dog park ..... that works too😉). |
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